Entry 16
I was right! I was sooo right! The Nazgul chiefy-dude owes me big bucks! He said the thing wouldn't blab until Wednesday, but I said Monday and I WAS RIGHT!! Take that, stupid dead man! The Lord of Evility and Doomness wins again.
Note to self: send Nazgul out to this Shire place to look for some freaky little dude called Baggins. Apparently he stole MY RING. He'll pay, the stupid lousy thief...
Another note to self: find out for certain what the heck that Baggins thing is. What did the skinny little green guy say? Bobber? Hoobit? Sherbet? Rabbit - Never mind, it was hobbit. They'll all pay.
Being evil is the best job in the world. :-)
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Entry 17
Stupid hobbits. Stupid Nazgul. Lost their horses and had to come whining back for more. Today was not a good day. Caught stupid Orcs playing stupid game, "I spy with my little eye..." V. insulting when one is an Eye. Stupid Ring escaped again, into Elven territory, so I can't get at it. That stupid Elrond. I also found out today that MY STUPID RING was hiding in the stupid Shire place for over 60 STUPID YEARS!! How stupid is that?!
If only I'd made a Teddy Bear of Power, instead of a Ring of Power, I'd have found it a lot easier. There aren't all that many teddy bears in Middle-Earth that make you go evil.
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Entry 18
My stupid therapist says that I'm so pissed off all the time because my stupid vocabulary is limited (stupid idea) and I can't express myself properly. He gave me a stupid thesaurus and told me to quit saying, 'stupid'. My therapist is idiotic, but what the hell, I'll try the silly quack's advice.
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Entry 19
Still can't get at those asinine hobbits that have MY RING.
Good news, though. :-) Balrog in dumb old Moria offered to eat them if they came anywhere near him. Perfect. If he eats those witless hobbits I can force the Balrog to give back MY RING. I love being evil.
My armies played War in Umbar today. They've got lots of good cards up their sleeves (literally) ;-). Won, naturally ( I taught them everything I know) so now I've got even more armies. :-)
Note to self: Challenge Denethor next. I hear he calls himself quite an expert at card games. Ha. Let's see him take on the master...
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Entry 20
Haha! Saruman (yeah that's right, the ghosty man) used the pretty glowing pair of rocks that both of us own, that sees stuff, and I convinced him to join me. (I felt pretty st - DUMB, really. He ALWAYS wears white and looks freaky. Oops.)
At least now his armies can do all the dirty work for me. Now I have more time to do important stuff, instead of all the gruntwork, which I'm not much good at, being a giant flaming Eyeball of Doomness and all. I'm VERY good at reading, however, so I'm getting into this new self-help book called, "How To Take Over The World Without Ever Leaving Your Evil Tower of Doom." V. informative. You'd think the person who wrote it was an expert. That senseless Denethor doesn't stand a chance.
Later: The person who wrote "How To Take Over The World Without Ever Leaving Your Evil Tower of Doom" really WAS an expert. It was Melkor who wrote it. Oops.
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