Entry 26
Told Saruman to invade Rohan today. Haha, he does everything I tell him to, although I suspect he has PLANS for himself. Well, I have PLANS for him. Once he's finished with Rohan, my armies will get him, and then his armies will be mine, and THEN we'll see how much he likes Barney reruns, Teletubbies videos, and the rack. I love being evil. Witless Saruman will never suspect a thing...
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Entry 27
That's it! I've had it. My therapist is a witless, brainless, asinine, crass, ignorant, retarded, addled, dense, obtuse, senseless, STUPID quack! I can say it again! I'm so happy! I realized that I was still just as stressed and angry with my extended vocabulary as I had been before. Stupid therapist. I fired him. Ha! I feel better already. Gotta do some more of this firing stuff. It's great fun.
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Entry 28
Stupid hobbits. I talked to one today, through that pretty shiny pair of glowing stones that Saruman and I own. Scared the stupid thing pretty good. He never said, but I'd bet HE is that Baggins freak. I do hope so. I miss MY RING. Curse that stupid Isildur who stole it from me! Hope Saruman caught him (the Baggins freak, not Isildur. He's dead. [Isildur]).
Stupid Nazgul are sulking because I won't let them show off their new uniforms across Anduin after midnight. Stupid Nazgul are just like stupid teenagers.
Fired one of the cooks for giving my Orcs good meat and causing them to get indigestion. Stupid cook.
Orcs are no better. Stupid Orcs. All I ever hear is, "Manflesh, give us tasty yummy manflesh!" Have caught a few turning to cannibalism. Ew. Ew! EW! Damn stupid Orcs.
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Entry 29
Stupid Shelob still refuses to learn Spit, or even bridge. I tried to trick her into learning 'poker War' but she's too smart for a spidey-thingy. Said if I tried to teach her any more card games, she'd eat me, Lord of Evility or no. ME, of all people! I am the Giant Flaming Eyeball of Doomness! V. insulted. -_-
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Entry 30
Have decided will not play Battleships with Denethor. Fighting a battle's much more fun. However, stupid Saruman isn't talking to me any more, sulking because Rohan beat his puny armies I'll bet. He'll pay. When I catch him I'll lock him up with my Pink Nazgul.
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