Hey! This will probably be a one-shot, but I'm okay with that.

An innocent looking boy with eyes half the size of Siberia stared naively at the screen. "YAMBU!" screamed the backround, and the boy bounced rabidly around the screen as if he was having convulsions caused by consuming large amounts of caffeine rivaling that of the volume of Lake Eerie. Suddenly the music slowed, and the boy stopped. A deep voice came from him, remiscient of a foghorn. "It's time . . . to DU-DU-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- A-M-M-I-T-M-Y-D-K-E-Y-'-S-S-T-U-C-K-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUUUUUUUELL!!!"

After a few more minutes of ear-blistering backbeat, the camera trained in on the same boy, standing atop a tower built solely for the purpose of throwing cards around. "HA! MY TRIPLE-HEADED BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGON AND HARPY LADY WITH KUNG-FU ACTION WILL DESTROY ANYTHING YOU HAVE IN YOUR DECK!" shouted Kaiba, amazingly able to speak the whole sentence in one breath. He appeared to have a heart attack, but quickly recovered. Yugi gritted his teeth. "YOU CANNOT DESTROY MY GRANDFATHER'S DECK, KAIBA! I BELIEVE IN HIM . . ." Yugi stopped and covered his mouth for a moment. "MY FRIENDS BELIEVE IN ME . . ." He stopped again, put his face in his hands, and shook silently. He again resumed his tirade. "WITH THE HEART . . . OF THE CARDS . . ." Yugi fell down and began to laugh uncontrollably. "WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?" he boomed. Large chunks of plaster began to fall from the ceiling, dislodged by the 10-year old's triple 8va voice. By a freak accident, the entire ceiling fell on Kaiba.

"Yugi, you DID IT!" squealed Tea, talking to Yugi who had mysteriously descended the tower . . . by falling. "IT WAS NOT I WHO DEAFEATED KAIBA. IT WAS THE HEART OF THE CARDS!" Tea covered her ears, feeling her lungs vibrating from the soundwave. "Hey Yugi," said Joey, a boy with hair sharp enough to impale somebody upon, "tone it down a bit, could ya?" Yugi shook his head. "MY VOICE IS STUCK LIKE THIS FROM THREE BILLION EPISODES OF YELLING MY HEAD OFF!" Yugi's grandfather, who resembled an owl, began to exorcise his descendant. "I COMMAND THEE TO BE CLEANSED!" he shouted. Yugi's Yami floated out of him, cackling evilly in the form of a black shadow with little shifty eyes. The spirit disappeared, and Yugi's hair fell flat. "OH MY GOD!" yelled Joey, completely not noticing the fact that Tea was pulling a dog suit over his head. "WHAT HAPPENED?" Yugi patted his limp hair sadly. "YEAH," he squealed in an adolescent soprano. "MY YAMI CAME WITH A FREE TRIAL OF EVIL HAIRSPRAY. I KEPT MY HAIR LIKE THAT 'CAUSE IT MADE ME LOOK HOT." The entire cast face-faulted.