Entry 31

Stupid armies are so stupid!! Went after Minas Tirith (a v. shiny white, but v. boring place) and their stupid army actually managed to hold out against me. The nerve!

Got really really angry, so I fired my stupid head Nazgul - actually, to be totally honest, it didn't matter because some stupid blonde chick and a stupid hairy hobbit killed him 0_o How rude!

How stupid. Those humans (sore losers!!) won't get away with this.

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Entry 32

Some stupid person stabbed Shelob! I heard about it from an Orc-scout from Minas Morgul. She's not dead (damn it, she should be! Stupid of her, really.), but what really matters is that SOME LITTLE TWERP managed to sneak into Mordor! I hope it's not some suicidal Elfy person. They're really really dangerous if they get cornered. Sent out Orc trackers to look for it. I can spare lots of Orc trackers, so if they die it's not biggy.

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Entry 33

I don't get it. I am the most powerful person in all of Middle-Earth. So WHY CAN'T I WIN THIS STUPID WAR??!!! Stupid Men. Stupid Elves. VERY stupid hobbits. Why can't I find MY RING? I knew I should have made a Teddy-bear of Power instead of a Ring. Rings are waaay too common.

I'm starting to hate this job. -_-

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Entry 34

Stupid Men are coming up through Ithilien. Think they're gonna fight against me at the Black Gates. HA! As if. I'm at my best when I'm on my own territory. I'm gonna capture their leaders: Stupid old Gandalf-who-used-to-be-the-Grey-but-is-now-the-White (the bearded old geezer!! I'm gonna make him pay. :-|) and some idiot who calls himself King of Gondor. And I'm gonna run my Orc's version of The Sound Of Music by them again - and again - and again - and again! I'm starting to enjoy being evil again.

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Entry 35

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! STUPID HOBBIT DESTROYED MY RING!!! I am sooo gonna scream. All my Nazgul are gone. X-0 All my Orcs are gone. For the first time in my life, I Sauron, the Great And Evil Flaming Eyeball of Doom And Winner of Many Card Games, have LOST!! To a SHORT PERSON WITH HAIRY FEET!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!

Damn stupid hobbits.

Being evil is the best job in the world - until the good people catch on and get to you. X,-0

But this is not the end. One day I will get them back.

If only I can get my resume accepted at McDonald's....