Chapter Four

~

"Welcome," said the Patrician, "to my humble, erm, dust-covered piece of crap."

It was not impressive, by any means. The inside of the Vetinari mansion had been left to rot for years, apparently, and dust covered the inside of the house in a thin sheet of gray. As the Patrician walked ahead, his boots left footprints in the layer. Frederick coughed.

"I don't suppose you'll get this cleaned up one day, will you?" The Patrician nodded, and brushed the dust off of a small tale.

"Yes, that would probably be a good thing. There are a few rooms upstairs that ought to be alright though. That's where you'll be staying for the next few days."

"Staying?" Rust coughed, chocking on the stale air and dust together. "What do you mean? I can't go home?"

"Oh, no," Vetinari said, seeming almost shocked that such a thought had even occurred to the boy. "It's all part of a greater plan. Sybil's upstairs; she'll explain the details to you."

He followed the man upstairs in a near-trance. The observation that there were footprints from a lady's shoe on the stairs just managed to register in his numbed brain. He was being held ransom by the Patrician, the head of the Assassin's Guild, and the richest woman in the city. What on the Disc was wrong with that picture? They couldn't just go and hold him ransom! His father would have something to say about that, he was sure.

"Havelock! Frederick! Do come in, though don't sit down. I believe the furniture is a tad on the antique side." Lady Sybil Vimes was standing at a doorway he'd followed Lord Vetinari to, and behind her stood Lord Downey.

"What is going on?" Frederick managed to croak, while all the time his mind was telling him that there was no way this could be real. It just couldn't. "Why are you all here? Why am I here? Meh," he said, before sitting down on the floor and looking up at all of them in a way that reminded him of being four. Sybil gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Why don't you come into the bedroom and we'll try to explain things as gently as possible, all right?" She helped him to his feet and led him to a room where the furniture looked like it might just be capable of holding a person. He sat.

"What has Havelock told you, first of all?" Downey had spoken up and was looking at him in a curious manner. "Also, I suppose I should ask what you've deduced on your own."

"He told me I was going to stay here. Why did you kidnap me?" Rust was looking through an expression of sheer terror, confusion, and shock - badly stirred, or shaken if that be your preference. Well, mixed, anyway - and was doing a marvelous impression of a fish out of water.

"Kidnap?" Vetinari asked. "Good gods boy, what do you think we are? No, we haven't kidnapped you, as I believe that requires you to be a bit further from your place of residence. We're just . . . holding you here temporarily until your father comes around."

"Yes, we think that anger management bit has broken down and we must show him the error in his ways," Sybil said, while Vetinari and Downey gave each other an embarrassed look. "You'll be returned home in due time."

"What? I don't get it."

"Your dad's being an asshole, so were keeping you tucked away nice and safe until we can talk him back into his senses. Better?" Frederick had been unaware that Lord Downey was able to talk like that, and therefore was taken slightly aback.

"Alright," Rust said. "So why are you guys so overly concerned with this? You're just friends."

"That's where you're wrong, my dear boy," Sybil said, quietly. "We are much more than friends. We are, and your father came up with this, a Sacred Homiehood." There was a rather uncomfortable silence, where everyone except Sybil became very interested in their own and everyone else's shoes.

"A what?" Rust couldn't picture any of them being in a sacred anything. Especially not the Patrician.

"It's like a Brotherhood, sort of thing, except we had Sybil, so we couldn't really be a brotherhood. So your father picked the most embarrassing word in his vocabulary and slapped in on as a name of our little cult . . . thing," Vetinari explained. "There was a whole ritual that went along with it; swapping blood and drinking out of some holy cup and whatnot."

"Oh," Frederick said. There was really nothing else to say.

"We decided that in the current circumstances, and under the conditions of some agreements we made, that this whole thing qualifies as 'helping a member who desperately needs it' and that we are fully justified in what we are doing. Having a member as the ruler of the city doesn't hurt, either," Sybil said. Vetinari rolled his eyes and went on staring out of the window.

"I'll report you to the papers," Frederick threatened feebly, trying to keep himself from shaking out of anger and fear.

"Damn," Vetinari cursed, snapping his fingers. "And I rather liked the DeWorde boy, too. He'd have to be imprisoned if you let him know about this."

Rust gave up. "You're playing dirty, you know," he said, as it became clear that this meeting was over and that Rust would soon be left to his own devices.

"Don't look at it that way," Downey said, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he left the room. "Look at it . . . well, I can't really think of how to look at it from your side in a positive light, but I'm sure it'll all come out for the better.

"Slick, Faustus. You really have a way with words," Vetinari said, and they went down the stairs, closing the door and locking it shut behind them. Frederick watched them both vanish among the rooftops in the way that Assassins tended to do, and - finding nothing better to do - went to sleep.

~

A/n: And the plot thickens! Well, not really. In fact, the plot is already thick enough for the whole story. Whatever. Anyway, the point of this note is:

Yes, I have read 'Night Watch' and yes, I know Downey and Havvie and Rustie- boy and Sybil were all different ages and that there was some rivalry between Downey and my precious Dog-Botherer. So this now falls under the category of an AU fic. There. Happy?

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Terry Pratchett, who Twist does not know. She does not know his lawyers or anyone else. She does not claim ownership of these characters or the names they have. She can't even claim the plot, which belongs to whoever wrote 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.' She will find that lady's name out and have a proper Disclaimer one day. Just you wait.