Chapter 8

Twist

Format notes: /Italics/ is indicated in the demonstrated way. Word format doesn't stick, I'm afraid.

Disclaimer: See previous chapters.

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Frederick Rust closed the great green book, a small grin on his face. So perhaps the Patrician and Sybil and the head of the Assassin's Guild and - he had to admit it - his father had had rather eventful childhoods. And perhaps in his childhood Ronald Rust had been very nice. But there was no way he was a nice man. He was evil.

Fred turned the page. Strange, there was hardly any writing after the year where his father would have turned fourteen. Occasionally there were small scribbles in different handwriting, as if the book had passed from one to another during their schooling years, but nothing of great importance. Except for an entry from about 30 years ago, in the more careful handwriting of the Patrician: /The Homiehood has collapsed. / Had there been a falling out before this? Perhaps at the Assassin's Guild? Fred knew that Sybil and Vetinari had always been close, and his father had always kept in contact with the rest of the Homies, and as far as he knew Downey had stayed in contact with Sybil. That left Vetinari and Downey.

They were both rather control-freaks at one point, of course, and had probably been at odds a lot at school, but what could make the Homiehood collapse? His father was being a complete jerk at the moment, and they were still all sticking by him. Odd. Perhaps they just grew up.

Fred jerked himself out of his thoughts as he became aware of a commotion outside. There were a lot of watchmen outside, and they were all talking about something. Probably nothing important, as the general mood seemed to be confusion. He watched his father show up outside and start shouting at people. He realized that his father was organizing them to break him out. He considered hiding, but Commander Vimes had just shown up, and that always promised to be amusing. Vimes and Rust began to talk and Vimes visually became very angry. Fred was about ready to admit that his father's demise was going to happen right in front of him and a crowd of watchmen at the hands of their Commander when there came a very loud pounding from the roof of the mansion.

Two figures launched off of the sloping first-story roof and landed lightly on the grass in front of the house. Several watchmen took a notice of the arrivals, or at least one of them. The Assassin in green was ridiculously hard to see, even in broad daylight. Probably Vetinari. The Assassin Fred assumed was Downey strolled over and stood behind Vimes, placing a hand on the Watch Commander's shoulder. The green-clad Assassin, still nearly invisible, stood behind Fred's father and grabbed his shirt collar. Words were exchanged and the watchmen began to clear off at a shouted order from the Commander. Carrot and Vimes had a brief conversation and the remaining four began to progress toward the front door of the mansion. Fred gulped, seeing the expression on his father's face, and hid.

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"You will all pay for this," Rust hissed loudly. Vimes rolled his eyes. Lord Rust was about to make another cutting remark when a slight, metallic pressure materialized in the small of his back.

"I am really, really angry right now Ron. I would not push it." Vetinari sounded, even to Vimes, like he wanted very badly to kick something. Hard. Destroying it would be a nice bonus.

"I can't believe you all have the nerve to treat me like this." Something inside Lord Downey snapped at that. Vimes, not thinking, grabbed the back of the Assassin's cloak. Rust had launched himself at Downey when the Assassin had lunged, but Vetinari had managed to suppress any immediate hostile emotions and had Rust in a headlock.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to /say/ that, Rust!"

"Why not, Downey? What have a done to you?! Have I kidnapped your youngest son and held him hostage?!"

"I can't believe you're saying this! Asshole!"

"Go to hell!" A knife appeared in Vetinari's hand as Rust strained forward. Vimes gave the Patrician a distressed look. Vetinari, apparently getting the message, kicked Rust in a way that made the angry lord's knees buckle. Rust fell forward onto the grass. Downey snarled and lunged, but Vetinari beat him to it and sat, rather relaxed, astride Lord Rust's back.

"Breathe a little, Faustus." Downey growled slightly but backed off at the cool blue look Vetinari gave him. Sybil arrived with young Sam on her hip.

"Now boys, what did your mothers teach you about fighting?"

"Get off, Vetinari."

"Do you promise not to make any ignorant remarks or try to kill anyone?"

"Fine." The Patrician stood up off of Rust and sidestepped to allow the man room to sit up. Sam jumped off his mother's hip and rammed Vetinari. The Patrician wheezed and almost allowed himself to bend double.

"Sybil," he managed to gasp, "do you think that possibly you could leave Sam with Wilikins for a small amount of time?"

"Sam, go help Emma in the dragon house." Young Sam gave a happy squeal and sprinted in a zigzag across Scoone Avenue. Halfway across he fell, causing his father to groan and cover his eyes. He didn't know where the boy had gotten his coordination from, but certainly not his father. Maybe someone on Sybil's side. "Well, boys, I think we ought to go in the house and talk for a little while. Some things need sorted out."

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Fred had thought he'd be safe in the scullery. He was wrong. Vetinari was listening to him hyperventilate on the way to the parlor. "You can't take me in there! He's angry! He'll kill me! He'll beat me to a pulp and there's nothing any of you will be able to do! I'm gonna die with multiple witnesses!" The Patrician didn't respond. He merely pushed open the door.

His father rose as soon as the door opened, but his mother put a gentle hand on his shoulder and he sat down again, slowly. Vimes and Sybil were sitting between Downey and his father. The mood was generally one of tension. "Hello, dear," Caro said. Fred managed a quiet 'Hello, Mother" and was seated in the chair next to his father's. Vetinari leaned against the wall in a deceptively casual way. The silence could have been used as a demonstration of potential energy in a physics class. Sybil, who was apparently acting a moderator, posed the first question. "Do you understand why your son is in this position, Ron?"

"No," Lord Rust growled. He crossed his arms and glared around the room.

"We, as a group, felt your son was in danger," Vetinari said softly. "It was agreed that the best way to make you see how utterly immature you were being without taking it out on Fred was to hold him someplace where he would most certainly be safe."

"I think you were being more immature than I was," Rust mumbled, glaring at Downey.

"The behavior of all the members in our group cannot be accounted for," Vetinari said, waving a hand dismissively. "The point is this: you have been behaving in a way that has affected everyone close to you one way or another. You've started hitting your son, Ron." Vetinari sounded almost hurt, if that was possible.

"It does a boy good to be hit. Puts him in his place." Both Vimes and Vetinari froze. The temperature in the room dropped noticeably. Sybil sighed.

"Ron, why are you acting this way? We all know this isn't how you are. Well, maybe not Sam, but he's not supposed to be here." Vimes gave his wife a puzzled glance. "You can tell us."

"It's all of you," Rust growled. "If it weren't for you all, I would be fine. You and your careers and lives and everything." Everyone present did the silent equivalent of a double-take. "I was best off out of all of you, except maybe Sybil. I had the parents and the money and the titles and the education. I should've risen higher than any of you. But Downey's the leader of the Assassin's Guild and Sybil's got her dragons and she's respected and Vetinari's the Patrician, for gods' sakes! It's not fair!" Downey snickered.

"You sound like a whiny four-year-old." Rust glared. But something had gone out of it, like he'd had so much built up behind those words that just saying them helped. Fred shifted.

"I have no job, my fortune's depleting and Frederick shows no intention of becoming great. So I figured if deprived him of everything, like Downey had no money and Sybil couldn't have her dragons for awhile, he'd learn the value of earning what he wanted. But he just meandered along and found different things to amuse himself. Books. He didn't have any interest in war." He glanced apologetically at Sybil. "I thought it would work. When it didn't, I figured I'd increase pressure on him by ignoring him. Like Vetinari. I didn't start hitting him until he was fifteen. It drove you." Rust glared at the Patrician.

"It drove me out of the house," Vetinari snapped. "None of my relatives got diddly-squat. Except my aunt."

"And look where you got!"

"Hard to believe, Ron, but some people don't want to be the supreme ruler of a cesspit."

Lord Rust rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry," he said with a sigh. The tension in the room evaporated.

"Are you beginning to see how stupid you've been, Ron?" Sybil was trying to kick her husband discreetly. Vimes couldn't stop staring at everyone in the room. Downey drew his attention away from Sybil and Ronald and began to poke the Commander with a knife. He didn't move. Vetinari snorted.

"I guess I have been rather unreasonable." He glanced up at his son. "I'm really very sorry." Fred froze. He didn't know how to take this. His father had just revealed that he'd been cruel to him all through his childhood just to make him successful. On one hand, it was a relief to know, but on the other he was bloody angry.

"I'm going to need to think about this, dad." He paused. "But I'll probably forgive you one day." Vetinari glanced at his watch.

"Well, this is all very touching. Are we resolved?" Everyone in the room stared at him.

"Havelock, that isn't really like you at all. You usually have a little more finesse than that," Sybil said, slightly unbelieving.

"No, don't take that the wrong way. I'm not in a hurry, but I'm wondering if we maybe ought to get the Commander out of here. I think he's gone into shock." Everyone glanced at the Commander. He was staring at everyone with a slightly glazed look in his eyes. Sybil poked him.

"Sam, you're staring." He didn't move. "Sam."

"Door. Son. Got to go." The Commander stood up, saluted on automatic, and walked stiffly out of the door. Sybil sighed.

"I don't think he expected that."

"He'll get over it," Caro said. She rubbed her husband's shoulders. "I think we ought to go home, Ron, Fred. The rest we can talk about without the help of your friends, I believe."

"Sounds alright to me," Lord Rust said. He stood up, looked around, and finally shook Vetinari's black-gloved hand. "I think I can depend on you if I'm ever acting like an ass again." He shook Downey's hand as well. Downey gave him a pat on the back. Caro and Lord Rust left the room, talking in low voices. Fred gave a terrified glimpse around himself.*

"Thanks for letting me use you house," he squeaked at the Patrician, and fled.

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*It's hard to realize how scary an emotional confrontation is until after it has happened. After the emotions are all gone, blind terror sets in.

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