Here is the next chapter, sorry it took so long, but it had to be written very slowly. You'll see what I mean. The lyrics I use (~words~) are from a song by Evanescence. Check them out, the singer has a beautiful voice. Thanks to everyone who's been reading.
Andrea
Chapter 9: Time to Choose
Jareth looked at Sarah a moment before he sat back down and cleared his throat.
"Sarah, I…" he looked down at the table then back up at her. "I have something I need to tell you…"
She nodded, no emotion showing on her face.
He ran a hand back through his hair anxiously. True, he hadn't thought everything out beforehand, but he had not thought that telling her would be this hard. He saw the table shaking gently and realized his leg was restlessly jumping up and down, moving it. He quickly stilled his movements, hoping Sarah hadn't seen. He stood up and started pacing the floor instead.
Sarah watched Jareth fidget. To show any signs of nervousness was an extremely unusual thing for him; the Goblin King was always calm and collected, in control, so she could imagine how he felt right now. Perhaps he had caught the flock of butterflies that had inhabited her stomach earlier. For his sake, she hoped not. She'd felt so sick at one point she thought she would have fainted. She continued watching him and waited for him to speak.
Jareth paced the floor restlessly, no longer caring if he appeared nervous to Sarah. He could feel his heart pounding, and knew his brow was damp with sweat. Was he becoming ill? Or was it simply nerves? He took a deep breath and turned to face Sarah.
"Sarah, I think I love you," he blurted out. She had a shocked expression on her face and he continued softly. "I know I love you." She looked at him, still surprised.
"You do?"
He nodded slowly, watching her eyes. How did she feel about him? Did she feel anything for him? She looked down at the table a moment then back up at Jareth.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" she asked.
Not the reaction he'd hoped for, but at least she hadn't recoiled in terror or something.
"I tried," he said, shaking his head, "but I don't think you picked up on it." He turned and kept pacing.
"I know I should have tried again and told you earlier, but I just couldn't." He sighed and stopped pacing again, turning to Sarah. "I was just so nervous…everything started going well and I didn't want to ruin things between us." Sarah nodded, absently rubbing her collarbone.
Jareth feared he may have just ruined everything by admitting how he felt to her, but if he were going to possibly lose her, he would rather know that he had at least told her how he felt. The decision to stay or leave was still hers.
Sarah now knew for sure how he felt, but it didn't make choosing any easier. She'd come to like Jareth as a friend and when she thought about it, knew that that could easily become more. She had actually grown to love this wild haired man before her.
There. She released the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She had admitted it to herself. She did love him. But did she love him enough to give up her family for him?
Sarah realized either way she would be losing Dawn and Heather; through the time paradox created if she stayed, or through her own death if she went home. Either way she was on the losing end of things.
She sat at the table, absently rubbing her collarbone again as she thought about her situation. She remembered, long ago, Jareth holding a crystal out to her. It will show you your dreams…and she realized he was offering her that chance again. Should she hold out her hand and accept his offer as she longed to, or deny him once again for the sake of her family? Wasn't sacrificing everything she'd ever wanted in life once before enough?
She rubbed at her collarbone a bit harder, massaging the muscle in the area. She must have pulled it earlier doing something. Perhaps when she'd hurled that avocado?
Jareth watched her nervously. He'd professed his love to her, and other than seeming surprised, he hadn't gotten any reaction out of her. She had not rejected him, had not said how she felt, had not anything. He was fairly sure that she had at least accepted him as a friend; she had grown accustomed to his presence and relaxed around him, she'd even smiled once or twice, but he was not certain of how she felt.
He stole a glance at the clock. 12:49. He did not want to push her in making a decision, but he knew she was still aging, and she'd have to choose fast. The effect of his magic was running out.
Sarah carefully thought about all of her options in her mind. She knew in her heart what she wanted to do, but her mind was screaming No! at her. Seconds ticked by on the clock and after what seemed like an eternity to Jareth, she finally looked up at him.
"Long ago I denied you to save Toby." Jareth nodded, remembering the past. "Even though he was an absolute monster at times, deep down, I really did love him." She stood up and started pacing the floor.
"After that whole mess I'd convinced myself that it had all been a nightmare and tried to forget about you. Eventually it worked; I had to grow up, get a job, and move on in life. Years later I met and fell in love with Jake. He was my soul mate." She smiled to herself, her eyes unfocused as she remembered. "We got married and were both overjoyed when Dawn was born a few years later." Jareth saw the look on her face and could imagine her holding the baby. Her smile faded slightly as she continued.
"We were unable to have any more children but we put all the love in the world into that darling little girl. Eventually she grew up, as children tend to do." Jareth nodded his agreement. Fae children aged much differently than mortals, but the progression was still astounding at times.
"I still remember the night Heather was born," she laughed. "We had to take Dawn to the hospital at three in the morning." She looked at Jareth's wild locks. "I was so surprised when I saw she had bright blonde hair, though I didn't know why at the time." She looked down at the floor.
"I guess even then I knew you weren't a nightmare… all of this was real. I had wished Toby away, run your labyrinth and given up everything to save him." Jareth wondered what she meant by 'everything.' Was she subtly implying that she'd unwillingly given up him, or simply the desire to have all of her dreams fulfilled?
"When the clock had struck thirteen and you turned into an owl, I even tried to catch the crystal you'd offered me as it fell," she snorted, "hoping by some chance I could have both."
Both him and the baby, her dreams and the baby? What did this woman desire?
Her eyes were rimmed with tears and she looked back up at Jareth.
"Jareth, I gave up many, many things so that both of my girls would be happy in life. I love them both so much…"
Jareth nodded his understanding and tried not to let the sorrow he felt show. Right now he was just waiting for her to deliver her crushing blow; to say she wanted to go home. She'd be gone from his life forever.
"I couldn't stand to lose them." She finished, and turned away from him to face the window.
Jareth let his face fall completely. There it was. Once again, she'd chosen another over him. Rejected by the only woman he'd ever truly loved not once, but twice. He wiped a tear from one eye and stood up.
"I understand and respect your wishes," he nodded. "I've kept you here long enough to be fair. I'll send you home immediately if you wish."
*****
I'll send you home immediately…
What?
Sarah turned around to looked at him and was surprised at his appearance. If she thought he'd looked pale and worn out the first time she'd denied him years ago, that was nothing in comparison. His complexion had gone ghostly white and he looked frail, almost sickly. His hair no longer shone with the vibrancy it had previously held; it now was a dull, ashen color.
"Jareth, what's wrong?" she gasped.
He smiled feebly as a tear ran down his cheek. "Everyone needs to be loved, Sarah, to have a purpose to their life." He looked down at his hands. "Even a long-forgotten Goblin King."
She ran to him and threw her arms around him in an embrace.
"Oh Jareth," she whispered and ran her hands through his hair. "You misunderstood me…" she pulled back from him and looked into his mismatched eyes. She felt so bad. She had done this to him.
"Jareth, I want to stay with you." She saw comprehension reach his eyes and they brightened a little. She hugged him again and felt his arms pull her tighter. She was staying. They held each other a moment before Jareth spoke.
"Sarah, you realize you will never be able to see your daughter or granddaughter again." She nodded.
"If I go back home, I will still be losing Dawn and Heather. When I said that I couldn't stand to lose them, I meant that I want to stay here with you… I can still talk with them through your crystals."
Now Jareth understood. Sarah did not want to go back to her home because she was mortal and would die. By staying with him she got the best of both worlds; near immortality and the chance to continue seeing her family, even if it was an illusion. He pulled away from her and walked to the window, touching his forehead to the glass as he closed his eyes. He wanted her to stay with him, but this was not the way.
Sarah took a few steps towards him. "What's wrong? Don't you want me to stay?"
Jareth swallowed the lump in his throat and turned to face her again. "Of course I do, Sarah," he choked out, "but I wanted you to stay because you loved me, not because you do not wish to lose your family."
Sarah stood there with her mouth open for a moment. He thought this was all a way to get what she wanted in life? To save her own hide and still have contact with her girls? She felt her temper flare up at his assumption.
"Why you arrogant, pig-headed, vain, conceited…" she started muttering. Jareth's eyebrows went up in surprise. "You never could lower yourself to think that someone's intentions may be pure!" she yelled, placing one hand on her chest for emphasis. "That perhaps someone on this earth could actually learn to reach behind that mask of indifference you always wear and love you!" Her heart was pounding and she rubbed her collarbone, taking deep breaths to try to calm herself. It wasn't working.
"Fine!" she continued. "Forget your damn crystals! I've just given up my family for you, though now I'm not so sure that was a wise decision!" She turned her back to him and left him standing there, gaping.
Sarah did love him? And she wanted to stay?
"Sarah," he said softly. She didn't move. "Sarah please. You must realize that I did not mean to offend you." He looked down at the floor. "It's just that you can only have your heart broken so many times in life before you begin to think that no one could ever love you."
Sarah felt her anger lessening with his words. He'd been through a lot in his lifetime. She slowly turned around to face him.
"I would be honored if you chose to stay here with me," he said, and held out his hand to her. Sarah looked at it for a moment, then slowly brought her hand down from her chest and put it in his. He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply.
"I love you," he whispered.
Sarah took a deep breath.
"I…" Jareth heard her gasp. "I…" He pulled away and looked at her. Her face was contorted in a mask of pain and she had one hand on her heart.
"I.. can't… breathe," she managed. Jareth quickly picked her up and started carrying her to the bedroom she'd been staying in.
~Hold on to me love, you know I can't stay long…~
Jareth bit his lip and walked as fast as he could. He didn't know what was happening, but it almost seemed like she was having a heart attack. But that should be happening in a week, if she'd gone home… it couldn't be happening now.
"Jareth?" she mumbled weakly. What was going on?
~Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms?~
"Hang on Sarah," she heard him say. He sounded worried. What was going on? This hurt much worse than the other times. As the pain doubled in her heart and spread up to her arm, she realized what was happening. She was having a heart attack. He got to the bedroom and gently lay her down on the bed.
"I'm dying," she wheezed, "aren't I Jareth?"
~I know you hear me, I can taste it in your tears…~
He shook his head no, though a tear dropped down his chin and landed on her cheek. She brought a hand up to his cheek and wiped the rest away.
"Don't worry about me," she said. "It's my time."
~All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid…~
"Sarah," he sobbed, "don't leave me." He pulled her closer and whispered into her ear. "I love you Sarah, I love you. Don't leave me, just hang on, it will be ok." He closed his eyes as more tears fell. Sarah shook her head.
"There's nothing I can do, Jareth, it's part of life."
~Closing your eyes to disappear, you pray your dreams will leave you here…~
"Jareth…" she gasped, her breathing becoming more labored. "I love you…" He kissed her on the mouth as he cried and held her. She could taste the saltiness of his grief.
"I will always love you, Sarah," he told her, and watched her close her eyes for the final time as the clock struck thirteen.
~Say goodnight, don't be afraid, calling me, holding me, as you fade to black…~
*****
The End
*Whew!* that was a lot of typing, and a lot of reading. Thanks for sticking with it!
Firstly, I couldn't write the title of the song I used at the beginning of the story- it would give the ending away!- so here it is. "My Last Breath."
Secondly, please don't kill me, send me hate mail, or other such actions. This is my story, and this was the plot I'd had planned all along, so I couldn't change it. Please tell me what you think though! A sequel is in the works.
