Sirius was having a bit of trouble. He had no earthly idea what the difference between pepperwort and peppermint was. They looked exactly the same to him. And Professor Guidry had assured him, many times today, that a drastic difference would be evident if he put in peppermint instead of pepperwort. And of course he'd only given them a pile of leaves, telling them it was thier job to sort the wort from the mint.
James looked just as confounded as he was, staring at the green leaves in concentration. He smelled them, but Sirius had already tried that. They all smelled the same.
"Oh, forget this."
With that, Sirius swept the whole pile into the simmering cauldron and watched in fascination as it began to bounce. As soon as the Puff Potion began to splash, he ducked under the desk, as James followed his lead. Nothing spilled on him, but the desk and the Slytherin grease ball at the table behind them got the brunt of it. Both puffed out rapidly, Snape until he looked like an extremely pale greasy pumpkin, the dest until it had pinned the two boys to the ground.
Guidry appeared, putting something to roly poly Snape's lips, making sure he drank the cup. The boy began to shrink and Sirius sighed in regret. Now the Potions professor turned to the two Gryffindors squirming beneath the puffed wood and raised an eyebrow.
"Which of you put in peppermint?"
"Ah. Yes. Well, you see Professor-" began James.
"Which of you?"
Sirius grinned innocently.
"I put in pepperwort too, sir."
"What?"
"Well, I couldn't tell the difference, and neither could James, so we decided to just sweep the whole pile in."
"Detention, Black! Report to me tommorrow at seven o clock. Four points from your house. Deduct another point as well, for Potter refusing to exercise his good sense."
James tried to hide a smile - tried but failed.
Guidry shrunk the wood with a wave of his wand, allowing the boys to finally get up under it and strode away, muttering under his breath. Remus glanced at Sirius from the table in front of James and Sirius and motioned for him to look. He held out two leaves.
"Wort has veins running parallel to the stem, mint has them running perpendicular to the stem."
"Ah! Thanks Remus."
They made the potion again, using Sirius's cauldron instead of James's this time. James's cauldron was still bouncing, even though there wasn't any potion in it. They got it right just in time to hear the bell ring.
"Damn, Sirius, you got the first detention of the year."
"I know. Isn't it great?"
"I think I'm jealous."
"Are you two crazy?!?" exclaimed Lily.
James and Sirius looked at each other then shook heads as if she didn't understand.
"Lily, Lily, Lily. I thought you understood the world of danger and laughter."
She rolled her eyes.
"The point is not to BE caught, but to not get caught, in my opinion. Makes it more fun than if you don't care whether you get detention or not. Besides, I enjoy having my spare time to myself, and not belonging to the teachers."
"Well, it is our sincere goal to set the record at Hogwarts for most detentions."
That was right off the top of Sirius's head, but James looked at him as if stunned.
"What?"
"That's it! We'll set the record for most detentions ever at school! Who is with us?"
"Um, James, I just said that."
"It doesn't matter who said it, Sirius, its true! Who's with me and Sirius?"
Lily was shaking her head.
"I already told you two that the fun is in not getting caught for me. But I do plan on participating in every single practical joke you do. I just don't want credit."
The determined look in those emerald eyes made Sirius readily agree.
"Yeah, that's fine with us. Anyone else want detentions, though?"
"I don't mind them, though if I have a choice I'll forego them," Remus offered.
Seeing everyone else had offered, Peter managed to stammer something out.
"I-I-I want detentions!"
James put Peter in a headlock and rubbed hard at his skull with his knuckles until the smaller boy squirmed from his grip.
"That's our boy!"
"Now we need a name - guys, shut up for a second."
The five stopped and were silent at Sirius's request, though they gave him curious looks. He tensed, hearing something, and crept silently to the corner they had just turned. When he was sure of it, he reached around the corner and grabbed whoever it was by a fistful of shirt, yanking him to plain sight of the others and throwing him to the ground.
It was Severus Snape.
He rose to his feet with supreme dignity, tossing his hair out of his face. The other four confronted him in a half circle with James at the center. Sirius remained behind him, preventing escape.
"Well, well, well, what have we here?" James looked particularly cunning with that sly smile.
"Do you make a practice of following people around school on the first day?" Sirius spoke with a bite to his tone. Snape started turning half around to stare at Sirius with wide eyes. It was obvious he'd already forgotten Sirius's presence behind him. Sirius smirked at him.
Snape straightened and spoke, a flat monotone that grinded Sirius's nerves.
"Good thing I was, what with all that marauding you five are planning. I'm sure the professors would love to know about it. That is, they'll know unless you give the Slytherins....." He looked intently at all four, stopping on Lily. His mouth stretched into a caricature of a smile.
"Give the Slytherins her."
Sirius blinked, focusing on one of the words. Remus put a hand on Lily's shoulder, reminding her to hold her temper. James laughed in Snape's face, startling him.
"You think we'd really give one of our own to the Slytherins ? Besides, I think you would find that it wasn't a kitty you were torturing, its a tiger. Now, run away and play, Snape. Have fun with your little friends."
James whirled his shoulder around and gave him a shove, sending him stumbling to the wall as the five began to make their way to class again. Sirius sent one last comment over his shoulder.
"And tell everyone the Marauders sent you."
As soon as they were out of earshot, Lily exploded, punching her fist into a nearby wall. She started to do it again, but Sirius caught her wrist from behind her and pulled her arm gently back in. Remus gripped her shoulder sympathetically as she muttered furiously under her breath.
"Like the could...could give me away. Like I was theirs to give away in the first place! I'm myself, not anyone's anything, and I am not a prize to be handed from one person to another! The nerve of that slime-ball, acting so high and mighty, thinking me easy prey because I'm a girl. Yeah, well, just wait, grease-head, I'll get you yet!"
Remus waited for her to talk herself out before releasing his grip and the other three were markedly silent. Then James said something that Sirius's eyes light up.
"Tonight we plan. Lily, meet us in the Common Room at eleven oc clock - what?"
She was shaking her head.
"People can hear us if they want to, if we're in the Common Room. I'll come up to your dormitory, ok? Just make sure you're awake."
"We will be."
That night, the four boys did in fact fall asleep before elevn o clock, but Sirius, with his thief instincts, heard her step on the creaky step and woke up, managing somehow to wake everyone else up before she got there.
"Well?"
"Ok, lets do this tonight, right?"
"Anything you say, oh James, our exalted leader."
"Well, the Marauders are going to be rocking tonight."
Sirius grinned at the name. It felt right.
"Any ideas?"
Sirius offered something.
"If we can figure where their House is, I can probably get us in."
Remus coughed.
"I know where it is."
Everyone turned to stare at him. He blushed.
"My mother was in Slytherin, but she hated it. Muggle-borns don't fit in very well in that House. She wanted me to get revenge on them, so she told me their location. It takes up the entire north-northwest tower, but you get in through the dungeons."
Sirius grinned.
"I won't. I can climb up the wall until I find a window, then open the door in the dungeons for you."
"Sounds good. Now, what are we going to do."
Lily smiled somewhat sadistically.
"Leave Snape to me. I have got a plan for him."
"I've got regular food coloring that I can put in their water source if I find it."
He thought maybe red, or yellow. That would be good.
"I'm going to put bunny tails on their robes."
James looked sharply at Remus.
"Transfiguration that advanced? Sure you can pull it off?"
The mahogany locks shook side to side and he held up a bag of large cotton balls.
"Sirius isn't the only one who came prepared. All I've got to use is a simple Attachment Charm."
Peter raised his hand, then put it down and offered something.
"I know where the hosue elves are, cause Pop told me in case I got hungry. I might be able to put honey all over their utensils."
"That's a good idea Peter. Now, does anyone have a rope?"
Everyone shook their head, but Lily blinked.
"I have a lunge line. I think it was tangled with some of my clothes, so it got in. But I want it back."
James nodded and Sirius looked curiously at him. He watched as the other boy shuffled through his trunk and with drew a tub of something.
"Invisible Balm, makes an inanimate object invisible if you rub it into something. I plan on stringing the doorway with the invisible whatever-it-is line of Lily's."
They all nodded and Lily ran back to her room to grab the lungeline. She handed it to him dubiously.
"How are you going to get it back?"
Sirius prodded her.
"Oh come on, who is going to know what's there? They'll have to somehow crawl through it and they'll never figure out where its tied, especially if James ties it at the top of the doorway."
"Ok then."
The five exited, Peter splitting off at one point to go do his duty, then Sirius to go outside and the others to wait in the dungeons. He found the north-northwest tower and began his duty.
No matter who said what, roof walking was hard work, and Sirius's bare toes and gloved fingers ached by the time he reached the first window. He was wearing all black again, and this time he'd even chalked his face and toes over with black, so when he perched on the sill, most people wouldn't see anything but a shadow. Pulling his lock picking tools out, he smiled in satisfaction as the lock opened easily. Wizards obviously hadn't prepared for thieves.
He slid in silently, closing the window behind him. Crawling carefully between the silent forms, the boy silently glided from the room, down two sets of stair, and into the common room. Wasting no time on looking around, he found the opening and pushed it open.
The three that were waiting for him started, looking at him blankly before recognizing him beneath the soot. He gestured and they followed him through, splitting up to pull their respective pranks. Sirius held the two bottles of red food coloring carefully. He simply stood for a moment, looking around with narrowed eyes, until his gaze fell on a fountain in the corner. Moving silently over to it, he put his ear to the wall behind it. He could hear the plumbing working, and smiled with satisfaction. If he put the red in the fountain, it would certainly spread to everything else by morning. Opening the two containers, he dumped them both into the fountain, watching as the water turned an opaque crimson. Satisfied that his work was completed, he moved back over to the entrace.
James had already finished stringing the opening with the lunge line, but made out a certain area he should crawl through. Sirius did so, taking care not to rub up against the invisible strands with any charcoal. Remus came out next, and Lily followed a minute later, satisfaction written all over her face.
The Marauders made their way up to their own Common Room, meeting Peter halfway there. Sirius watched jealously as the other three boys went immediately to sleep, but he had to get the charcoal off. Taking a quick shower, he managed to stumble into bed at one, falling asleep instantly.
