AN: Sorry this took so long. The story picks up here a little bit.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 3: Guilt

Voldemort had laughed at Potter's pain, at his agony. Draco looked down at his wand, not believing what he had just did. Could he ever go back now? Now that he had started? Somehow he didn't think so.

            "Well, Potter. Did you like the Cruciatus Curse? No? I bet you won't-" Voldemort's head snapped around behind him as a loud thump sounded in the air. McNair was lying on the ground, apparently stunned. "Who did that? What happened?" Draco turned around and eyed the rest of the Death Eaters as well and he noticed someone there that he hadn't seen at first glance. Professor Snape. Had he stunned McNair? No, most likely not. Draco thought to himself. He seemed to be a pretty faithful Death Eater, hated Potter especially.

            Voldemort turned around fully, his back to Potter. "Who dares to defy me?" He shouted with anger. Then, Draco saw out of his peripheral vision, Potter was getting away! Should he say something? Maybe he could pretend he didn't notice. Yes, that's exactly what he would do. He focused his eyes on Voldemort, pretending to be concentrating very hard on the situation at hand.

            "Master!" Filch growled urgently.

            "Shut up, you filthy squib." Voldemort's face contorted into an evil smirk. "Don't think for a second that you are a Death Eater. You are an informant. You come to me with information, and nothing else."

            Distracted for the time being, Filch forgot about Potter. "But…but you said I was a Death Eater! At that meeting! You told everyone else that I had become your most faithful servant."

            Voldemort laughed, high and menacing. "Did I say that? My mistake. Avada Kedavra!" Draco gasped as a beam of green light shot from The Dark Lord's wand and collided with Filch's chest. He collapsed as soon as the light touched him. Draco realized he had just watched someone die. So this is what its like to work for Voldemort, he thought bitterly.

            Draco examined Filch closely. His cold, dark eyes were wide open. But his body was still.

            "Master!" Draco's thoughts were interrupted by his father's shouts. "Potter is gone!" Voldemort whirled around and Potter was nowhere to be seen.

            "How did he get loose? Someone here is a traitor!" He screamed in anger.

            "Master. Be reasonable." Lucius was saying. "Potter must have gotten free from his restraints on his own."

            Voldemort's eyes flashed and Draco could tell that his father instantly regretted his words. "Is that right, Lucius? Then I suppose McNair fell over from a head cold? Hm? I think you need to be reminded of where your loyalties lie. Crucio!"

            Draco's eyes became wet with tears as he listened to his father's screams and watched him twitch. This was hell. He thought. Hell.

~*~*~

            Draco sat at his flat in silence, wondering why he had never stepped in as Voldemort had continued to torture not only him, but his father, and his peers as well. Why was he such a coward?

            He remembered when he was younger; thinking that the life of a Death Eater must be pretty glamorous. No one messed with you and you could do whatever you wanted. He didn't realize until that night how wrong he was.

~*~*~

            Draco Apparated outside of Hogwarts very late that night. Voldemort had been livid wondering who had betrayed him or if Potter had done something. The mystery of McNair had never been solved. McNair had been revived, and had no idea who had stunned him.

            The mystery of Potter was much easier to resolve. The portkey that Filch had taken into the area was gone and no trace of Potter had been seen. Draco was sure he had made it back to Hogwarts safely, and for once he was glad that Potter was okay.

            Draco walked into the castle and hoped that he would not get caught wondering the halls that night. But then again, he thought to himself wryly. There's no Filch to catch you. Draco stopped in the middle of the corridor he was in at this thought and examined the mark on his arm carefully.

            It was an ugly, foul mark. The horrible serpent winding its way through the empty skull. Draco covered it up in distaste. He had done this to himself. He had chose it and he would just have to live with his choices.

            "Mr. Malfoy." Draco heard a voice whisper. He sighed and lifted his gaze from the floor. It was Dumbledore. Great now I'm really in trouble, he thought.

            "Please come to my office." Draco followed silently, through the twisting passages to a stone gargoyle. Dumbledore must have whispered the password, because Draco hadn't heard it.

Dumbledore sat down behind an old looking desk and motioned Draco to take a seat in front of him. "Now Mr. Malfoy. Word has come to me that you are involved with the Death Eaters." He stated matter-of –factly.

            Draco's insides went cold. How did he know? Maybe he was bluffing. He urged himself not to change his facial expression. "Prove it."  He heard himself hiss.

            "Well." Dumbledore sighed. "I do have witnesses, but I'm not sure that would be enough to convict you in court and besides. I believe in second chances. So for now I will say this Mr. Malfoy." He paused and waited for Draco to make eye contact. Determinedly, Draco looked down at the desk until he could not take it any longer. Giving in, he lifted his stare. "You do not have to be who your father is." Dumbledore whispered. "You may go."

            Draco had only a moment to revel in the fact that he had not been punished for his stroll through the castle when he began to ponder over Dumbledore's words. You do not have to be who your father is. How had he known his thoughts? How could he read his mind like that? That was exactly what had drove him to be a Death Eater and Dumbledore had known it. Maybe he was right, but there was really no turning back now.

            The next few weeks dragged on without occurrence. School was virtually normal, though Potter was absent from classes a few days after the meeting and of course Filch was no longer there. No one seemed to wonder much about what had happened to him, though some suspected Voldemort. And then something happened to make Draco's blood run cold.

            He had been joking around with his friends at breakfast, forgetting his troubles for a moment when Raptor had swooped down with a letter. Draco nonchalantly opened the letter, expecting something from his mother or father.

                        Mr. Malfoy,

                        I would like to commend you on your excellent performance at the meeting a few weeks ago. You are now a fully-fledged Death Eater. Tonight be at your manor at 7pm.

                                                                                                            L.V.

            Draco looked around to make sure no one had noticed the letter or his reaction too it. He sighed in relief as everyone appeared to be engaged in conversation. He scanned the letter again, wondering what they were going to do. How could he torture of kill people? He had tortured Potter, and it had been so hard and even harder now to live with the guilt. Potter had not confronted him about it, and Draco had not taunted him or his best friends since that day.

            The day seemed to melt away and soon enough is was time for him to Apparate to the manor. Silently, he sneaked out of the castle through a secret passage and Apparated from Hogsmeade.

            "Ah. Draco has arrived. Now we may start." Voldemort had noticed his appearance right away. Voldemort looked around for a minute and said, "Where is Wormtail? He was just here."

            "Coming, my Lord." A small, balding man running from the kitchen. 

            "Now Wormtail. I need you to tell me something. Who are Potter's best friends? Perhaps if the boy will not die, we can hurt him more using his friends."

            Wormtail answered quickly. "The boy! The boy that I lived with. Ron Weasley and there was a girl too. I can't remember her name…" He trailed off sounding desperate. Perhaps he was thinking of Crucio.

            Voldemort however did not seem to upset. "Draco. Tell me who this girl is." Draco paused. Should he tell him? Would he hurt her? Would he hurt Weasley? Yes, he silently answered his own questions. But what was he going to do? It was either tell him or die.

            "Hermione Granger." He whispered. "But…Master…I don't see how we can get to them. They are protected at Hogwarts."

            "Now you see Draco. You need to have more faith in your Lord. True, it would be nearly impossible to extract them from that school while they are right under Dumbledore's nose. However, Potter has no family. So we can go after the family of his friends. We can send a message. Potter will know that it is his fault. So tell me something about Weasley's and the girl's family."

            Draco was shocked. He would go after Weasley's and Granger's families just to get at Potter? Such useless death and destruction. But wait, a nasty little voice in the back of his head said. You're going to be involved too and you are giving out the information. Draco felt he had no choice, but to comply with the Dark Lord's wishes. He knew he would give the information to Voldemort if he were tortured anyway.

            "Weasley has five brothers and a sister. His parents live in some dump near Surrey, but his brothers and sisters are either at Hogwarts or living by themselves. Granger is muggle-born. Her parents live in some muggle place, not far from here." He heard himself answer dully.

            "Excellent." Voldemort smirked. "The girl is the way to go. The Weasleys may be prepared for an attack with portkeys and such. The girl's parents will be unprotected. We will do this tonight after we find an address. Severus! The Hogwarts Student Book please."

            Draco, watched mouth open, as Snape handed Voldemort a small black book with addresses in it. He was going to stand by and watch as one of his students' parents' were tortured or killed? That was sick.

            "We must go now. However, everyone does not need to attend. This will be a small job. Just muggles. Six Death Eaters should be fine." Draco perked up at this. Surely he would not get picked. He was new. He would not have to go. "Lucius, Wormtail, Crabbe, Goyle, McNair, and…Draco." Draco's blood ran cold. "Let's test our new Death Eater, shall we?"

            The other Death Eaters Apparated to their homes, while the handful selected for the mission Apparated to the Grangers' home. Draco appeared on a suburban street with large houses. He followed Voldemort and the other five Death Eaters up the street. They stopped in front of a quiet looking house. It was dark and looked rather empty and Draco hoped with all of his heart that the Grangers' were not home.

            "Alohomora." Voldemort whispered, unlocking the door and entering the house. Draco followed him in. Voldemort stopped abruptly when they had all entered the house. "Do Cruciatus first and then kill them." He smirked and looked at Draco who had gone white as a sheet. "Draco, you can take care of the mother. I will get the father. The rest of you follow in just in case the young one here needs backup and destroy the house when we're done."

            Draco gulped and tried to tell himself this was not happening. He was not in one of his peer's houses, preparing to kill her mother. He was not. As he climbed the stairs to the upper level of the house, the situation became more real to him. He was going to kill somebody.

            Voldemort led them through an open door and there the Grangers' slept peacefully. Draco studied them for a moment. The woman had bushy brown hair, exactly like Hermione's. She had a small smile on her face and Draco hoped she was dreaming of nice things. The man had short blonde hair flecked with gray and his arms were wrapped protectively around his wife. Draco thought he might throw up at any second.

            "Do it, Draco." Voldemort jeered.

            Draco said a silent prayer in his head, hoping that he would be forgiven for what he was about to do. He raised his wand. "Crucio!" He said firmly.

            Mrs. Granger's body began to twitch and shake. Her eyes shot open and tears poured down her cheeks. She screamed in agony. Finally after a long moment, Draco lifted her from the curse. She gasped for breath. "Who are you?" She managed to choke out, eyeing Draco.

            Draco did not answer. He bowed his head shamefully. Mr. Granger had awoken to his wife's shouts and was now being held by Crabbe and Goyle. "Again, Draco." Voldemort stated forcefully.

            Once again Draco raised his wand. "Crucio." This time, he muttered the word. Voldemort asked him to perform the curse four times on Mrs. Granger before he was satisfied.

            "Now Draco. You know what must be done."

            Draco was sweating all over. He didn't know if he could do it. He felt cold and shivery and looked at Voldemort, hoping he would tell someone else to do it.

            "NOW DRACO!" He boomed.

            Draco raised his wand and knew he was about to do something that would rack him with guilt for years to come. You could just not do it, Draco, a voice in his head said. It wouldn't be that heard. Just don' t say the words. But Draco knew he had to do it. If he didn't then Voldemort would kill him and get someone else to do it.

            Mrs. Granger eyed him fearfully as he raised his wand. Her husband tried to fight against his captors to no avail. "Avada Kedavra!" Draco shouted. A jet of green light shot out of his wand and before he knew what had happened, Mrs. Granger lay on the floor, eyes open and shocked.

            Draco stared down at her for a long time as Voldemort tortured and killed Mr. Granger. He had killed her. He had killed her. He repeated it over and over in his mind, not daring to believe what he had just did.

            For the rest of the evening, Draco was in a daze. After they had tortured and killed Hermione's parents, they proceeded to leave her house in shambles. She was an orphan now, Draco realized. She had no one to go home to.

            That night, Draco walked to the Slytherin common room feeling numb. He had just ruined someone's life. "Mr. Malfoy, we meet again."

            It was Dumbledore. Again. What was he doing, always roaming the corridors at night? He needed a hobby. Dumbledore let out a long deep sigh. "Come with me, Mr. Malfoy."

            For the second time, Draco followed to Dumbledore's office. He sat in the same chair that he had been in last time. However, this time Dumbledore was not seeking to give him words of advice, he had a proposition for him.

            "Now Mr. Malfoy, do you realize what you did tonight?" Draco's stomach dropped. How did he bloody know? "I have my sources, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore said, answering his silent question. "I know that you are a Death Eater. I know that you helped in an attack on the Grangers this evening. I also know that you do not really want this life, do you?" He paused as if to give Draco time to think about his words.

            "Therefore, Mr. Malfoy I would like to offer you a way out. Join the Light Side as a spy. Your days of torture and killing will be over. You can help make amends. And as a reward, you will not be punished for your actions."

            Now Draco knew he was lying. No punishment? Yeah right. He would probably be shipped off to Azkaban as soon as he told them everything he knew. He expressed these thoughts out loud. "No punishment, eh? I know that's not true."

            Dumbledore studied him for a moment before replying. "No I suppose your right. It is not true, you will have to live with the worst punishment of all, every single day of your life."

            "What's that?" Draco asked, wondering what Dumbledore was on about.

            "Guilt." Dumbledore said simply.

            Draco sat in Dumbledore's office for what seemed like hours, contemplating his words. And slowly he came to the realization that Dumbledore was right. He didn't want to torture and kill people. He didn't want to be the person his father was.

            "You've got yourself a deal, Professor."

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