AN: Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!
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Chapter 4: The Order of the Phoenix
Dumbledore had sighed with relief. "Then Mr. Malfoy, I need you to come with me." Draco nodded silently and followed Dumbledore through the winding passages of Hogwarts wondering where they were going. Finally, they reached their destination. Snape's office? Draco thought. But why are we here? Perhaps Dumbledore is going to confront him about being a Death Eater as well. But then, why am I here?
"Follow me, Draco." Dumbledore stated as he walked into the office. Professor Snape was sitting at his desk sifting through some paper work.
"Hello Severus." Dumbledore said quickly. "Mr. Malfoy wishes to be a spy for us. I wanted him to come see you. Tell him everything he needs to know and answer any questions he may have." With that Dumbledore was gone and Draco was left dumbfounded wondering what was going on.
"Er…Professor?" Draco asked quietly. "Aren't you a Death Eater?" Snape studied him for a moment before replying.
"No Mr. Malfoy. I am a spy. I have been a spy for Dumbledore for three years and before that when Voldemort was around the first time."
Immediately, Malfoy became enraged. "Then why didn't you stop the attack tonight! You could've stopped it! You could've saved Hermione's parents!" Draco almost laughed at his own words. Hermione? Now he was calling those Gryffindors by their first names, but he decided he liked it better that way.
"Sometimes, Draco…" Snape began. "You can't always stop an attack without revealing yourself. That's your first lesson as a spy. I came back here as fast as I could and warned Dumbledore, but by the time he got there with Arabella, Miss Granger's parents were already dead and the Death Eaters had already gone. Sometimes, I can stop things. Potter for instance got away, didn't he?"
Draco nodded and realized it had been Professor Snape who had stunned McNair and provided a distraction. He had probably used some sort of spell to free Potter from his restraints as well. "Now Draco. The most important thing you must remember. Never get caught. Not only will it result in your death, but you will also be tortured and given Veritaserum to tell them anything you know. You cannot directly interfere with some things Voldemort will do without revealing yourself. Sometimes you mat have to watch as he tortures and kills people. You will have to feel helpless."
Draco winced at this vivid description. He had felt helpless already, as he had murdered Mrs. Granger with his own wand. "Sir? Can I ask you something?" Snape nodded slowly. "Does the….does the guilt ever go away?"
Snape looked at Draco carefully. Draco thought for a minute that he had seen tears well up in his Professor's eyes, but a second later he was sure he had imagined it. Snape's cold eyes looked as dry as ever. "No Draco, it doesn't."
~*~*~
Draco sipped a glass of water thoughtfully. That was probably the truest statement Professor Snape had ever spoken. Even now, ten years later, he was still overcome with guilt at the death of the Grangers, the torturing of Potter, and the countless attacks on people that he was unable to stop. And worse yet, he thought to himself. I never apologized. Never told Hermione how sorry I was. Never asked for Harry's forgiveness.
Draco's eyes filled up with tears. No the guilt never went away.
~*~*~
After the small meeting with Snape, his Professor had told him to go back to Dumbledore's office. This was shaping up to be a very long night. To his surprise, Dumbledore had been waiting for him at the stone gargoyle that blocked the entranceway to his office. "Come with me, Draco."
Draco followed him up the stairs and into the office, once again sitting in the same chair as he had done twice before. Maybe we can just always leave this seat reserved for me, Draco thought wryly.
Silence filled the air and Draco wondered if Dumbledore was waiting for him to speak. After a few minutes, Draco could take the tension no longer. "What is it, Professor?"
Draco looked at Dumbledore and was stricken with the thought that the man had never looked older or wearier as he did at that moment. "Did Snape answer your questions?" Dumbledore asked. Draco nodded and waited for him to continue. "Very well. I will tell you how things work then. Whenever Voldemort, or any other Death Eater sends you a letter, bring it here at once. Then I will give you instructions. Now, you are a member of a resistance known as the Order of the Phoenix. We fight Voldemort and everything he stands for. Here is a list of other members, as you may be working with them from time to time. You may be given other assignments rather than spying as well." Dumbledore handed him the list.
Draco ran through the names on the list. Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black. "Sirius Black? Isn't he a Death Eater? A Voldemort supporter?"
Dumbledore smiled for the first time that evening. "Very much the opposite, Mr. Malfoy. But we don't have time to get into details."
Draco nodded, amazed and continued to read through the list of names. Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher, Molly Weasley, Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley. Jesus, Draco thought. They're all members. Two names, Arthur Weasley and Rubeus Hagrid were crossed out. They had been murdered by Voldemort in Draco's fifth year. He scanned the list of Weasleys again and noticed one of the older one's were missing. "What about Peter Weasley? Isn't he a member?"
Dumbledore looked confused for a moment. "Oh, Percy?" Draco nodded feeling a little embarrassed. Dumbledore sighed. "He is on Fudge's side, which is a much different side than ours. He believes in ending the confrontation peacefully. Percy has sided with him."
Draco nodded and continued. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger. "What? Harry, Ron, and Hermione are members too? How?" Once again, Draco noticed the change as he called them by their first names.
"Yes, they have been involved with the Order since the end of fifth year. They were already involved with the war, how could I not include them?" Draco nodded in understanding, still somewhat surprised.
"So…I might have to work with them on something?" Draco asked. He wasn't sure if he could face them after what he had done.
Dumbledore sighed gravely. "Now is the time to put our differences behind us. Silly things like which house we are in, appearance, and financial status…" He continued giving Draco a look. "…do not matter anymore. We are bound together by one common goal."
Draco felt defeated. The conversation seemed to be over. "Can I go now Professor?" He asked quietly.
"No, Draco. I will be bringing Hermione Granger up here in less than an hour, as it is almost morning. She will have to hear of her parents' death. Most likely she will bring Harry and Ron as well. I think you should see what you have done."
Draco was shocked. "Do I really have to see that Professor?" He knew very well that it was a suitable request for him to watch, but he wasn't sure he would be able to do so without throwing up. "Besides, they won't want me to be here."
"They won't know you are here, Draco." He pulled out something long and silvery. "Do you know what this is?"
"An invisibility cloak." Draco said, and he knew he was condemned to watch. Dumbledore handed it to him. "Thank you sir."
"Put it on and stand in the corner over there." Dumbledore said pointing. "I'm going to get Miss Granger."
Dumbledore walked quietly out of the room. For a moment Draco considered just running out of the office, but he did as he was told. He knew he deserved it. Maybe Hermione would demand to know what was going on down at the Gryffindor common room. Maybe they won't even come up here, Draco thought to himself hopefully.
Sooner than expected, Draco heard footsteps climbing the stairs to Dumbledore's office and then they appeared. Dumbledore, looking old and weary. Hermione was already worried. She was looking at Ron for comfort, it seemed. Ron grabbed her hand. He was looking worried too. Worried for his best friend. Draco gulped. His throat felt constricted. Potter…no…Harry had come too. He looked numb.
The three students sat around Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore looked at them for a moment before speaking. "It is my duty to inform you, Miss Granger, that there was a Death Eater attack on your parents last night."
Draco stared at her face. He wanted to see every little reaction she had. He felt that that was the only way to punish himself for his actions.
Hermione gasped. "Wha…What happened? Are they hurt? Are they okay?" Her face was contorted in pain. Not the kind of Cruciatus, Draco thought. A worse pain. A pain from knowing that your loved ones were hurt and you weren't there to stop it.
"Your parents were killed, Miss Granger. I'm sorry for your loss." Hermione's mouth fell open.
She said nothing for what seemed like hours to Draco. Tears poured silently down her cheeks and then she began to sob so hard, that Draco was sure the whole castle could hear her. Ron embraced her and she collapsed in his arms. After a few moments, Harry joined them .The three sat there, hugging each other for what felt like the longest time. Soon Draco felt tears sliding down his own cheeks.
He had caused this. He had caused all of this pain. Feeling like he couldn't stand to look at them any longer, Draco turned his gaze away.
An hour later, after Hermione had interrogated Dumbledore about the occurrence, the three left. Draco had no idea where they were going…he had tried no to listen to their conversation. Perhaps they would go home for a few days. See the…funeral.
"Draco you may uncover yourself." Dumbledore said. Slowly, Draco took the invisibility cloak off and walked over to Dumbledore. "So. Mr. Malfoy, are you ready to become a member of the Order of the Phoenix?"
Draco thought long and hard about everything that had happened since he had become a Death Eater. He had tortured Potter. He had killed Hermione's mother. He had seen the pain that had caused. "Yes, sir I am."
"Okay, sign here." Draco added his own name to the list he had been given earlier. He looked at his signature for a minute, thinking that it looked a lot better than that foul mark he had on his arm.
Dumbledore looked at him for a moment. The twinkle in his eyes seemed to come back. "Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."
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