AN: Sorry this took so long! I've had most of it written up for awhile, but my computer was down for a long time. Thanks for being patient!
Chapter 7: The Days of Innocence
"What are you doing, Draco? Have you decided to switch sides?" Crabbe asked with a sneer on his face.
Draco sat stunned for a moment, but then regained coherent thought. "Crabbe." Draco said dismissively. He walked over and pulled the smaller man aside. "Those are acquaintances of mine at Hogwarts." Draco indicated to Ron and Hermione. "They cannot know I am a Death Eater. One of them saw me and called me over to them. I cannot reveal my allegiance to the Dark Lord or they will run straight to Dumbledore." Draco prayed with ever fiber of his being that Crabbe would believe the lie.
Crabbe nodded in understanding. "Very well, but didn't I just blow your cover?" He asked wonderingly.
Draco thought this over for a moment. "Possibly, but the girl is panicking about her friend. She is preoccupied. If they question me, I will lie."
Crabbe nodded again and took off to join the battle once more. Draco sighed in relief as Crabbe turned the corner and disappeared from view. "That was close." He muttered to himself. After a quick second of joy in the revelation that he wasn't dead, Draco rushed back over to Ron and Hermione.
"Is he okay?" Draco asked, indicating Ron. This time Ron did not say anything. Hermione, too, was silent for a few minutes, but eventually she spoke.
"Yes, he'll be fine." Whispering, she turned to face Draco with tears in her eyes. "Is it true that you helped kill my parents?"
Draco's blood ran cold. How was he supposed to ignore her? He couldn't. He was trapped. Had to answer. Draco averted his eyes, unable to stare into her pained face any longer. "Yes." He murmured, so quiet that Hermione almost didn't hear him.
She closed her eyes and whispered something under her breath before speaking to him. "Go back to the battle."
Draco could tell by her expression and the curtness of her words that she was angry and saddened all at the same time by his reply. "No, I'll stay here. I can you help you with-" he began, hoping he could assist with Ron and possibly ask for her forgiveness.
"I said, GO!" Hermione shouted fiercely. Tears were now silently spilling down her cheeks. Draco nodded and looked at Ron who had been curiously silent throughout the exchange. He was surprised to see that Ron had gone unconscious. Probably from the exertion of the Cruciatus. Draco thought to himself. Ron had been under it for a long period of time.
"He's unconscious," Draco muttered quietly, pointing at Ron.
"I'll take care of it." Hermione choked out. "Just go, please." Her eyes pleaded with him and Draco could no longer bear the hurt he had caused. As he was running quickly towards the battle he heard Hermione say, "Ennervate," and Ron was awoken. Soon he heard Ron and Hermione following behind him, though far enough back as to not be associated with Draco.
Draco gasped openly at the destruction that met his eyes when he arrived on the main street of Hogsmeade. Honeydukes candy shop was in ruins. A few people whom Draco hoped were only knocked out were strewn on the ground. The Death Eaters were nowhere to be seen, and Draco was quite sure that the conflict was over. He had not made any difference. He had not saved any lives, and he had almost been caught. Draco had failed at his first mission as a member of The Order of the Phoenix.
All of the members were now busy accounting for everyone. Draco saw Dumbledore and after briefly scanning the scene again for any more Death Eaters, he ran over towards him. "I'm sorry sir. I did nothing to help our side." Draco was surprised to hear himself sounding slightly hysterical.
Dumbledore smiled faintly, but it was a pained one. "Draco, you were not a hindrance either. You did not help The Dark Side and you did not put The Order in jeopardy by revealing yourself. You were a great help." He laid a hand on Draco's shoulder and then walked off to assess the damage that had been done that day.
Many hours later, Draco was fighting for sleep in his four-poster bed. Shivering slightly, he pulled his green quilt closer to him. Much damage had been done to the property at Hogsmeade, but worse was the body count. Seven innocent people had been killed by The Dark Lord and his Death Eaters. They were not members of either side, merely spending the day at Hogsmeade for a little bit of fun.
One of the victims had been a 10-year-old boy who had looked a little bit like Draco, with icy blonde hair. He had been so innocent, probably eagerly awaiting next year when he would get to go to Hogwarts and now that would never be. Draco recalled looking into the boy's eyes and feeling a pang of loss. In the quietness of his dormitory, Draco sobbed himself to sleep.
~*~*~
Draco cursed to himself softly. He shouldn't be thinking about everything that had happened. Why couldn't he just let the past go? It was done and there was nothing he could do to change it. But deep down, he knew why. He had never repented for his sins, and now he punished himself daily by letting the scenes of pain and carnage play over and over in his head.
The memories were almost too much for him to handle. His thoughts traveled back to the young boy who had been killed that day at Hogsmeade. He had done nothing wrong, but evil and corrupt people had cost him his life. "And to think," Draco whispered to no one. "I wanted that. I wanted to kill, torture and hurt people."
It was true, he had always abused the students at Hogwarts, verbally, but it was such a different thing to watch as Voldemort tortured his schoolmates. To watch as this pure evil being manipulated his father into doing whatever he wished. And why had his father traveled down that particular path? Draco had never found out the real answer. He supposed it was just a part of the family. They were all evil, from generation to generation. "And I'm no exception." Draco muttered into the darkness.
~*~*~
Draco didn't sleep much that night. Images from the day's battle replayed themselves in his head, keeping him in a frustrated and pained state of mind. The next day, he awoke a few minutes after noon. He crawled out of bed reluctantly, as his stomach growled.
Alone, he made his way through the winding passages of Hogwarts, tracing the familiar route to The Great Hall. He saw Crabbe and Goyle sitting at one end of the Slytherin table, stuffing their faces with treacle tart. Draco moved to sit next to them, but changed his mind before he reached the table. He sat at the opposite end, not wanting to consort with any more Death Eaters, or future Death Eaters. He knew it would look odd to anyone watching, but at that point he was too tired and upset to care.
He ate his lunch by himself, wishing he could go back to the days when things weren't so complicated. Draco decided he did not want to go back to his dormitory, and debated exactly where he could go to pass the time. Thinking that flying was sure to get his mind off of things, he hurried to his dorm and grabbed his Nimbus 2001.
The brisk wind and kamikaze dives did what nothing else could. It put his mind at ease somehow. And by the time he had put in a good three hours of flying, he was starting to feel a small flicker of hope rising up in his heart. He still had chances to help and he knew the next time there was a mission; he wouldn't screw up.
That night, he did not dream of tears and despair. His dreams contained a memory. A memory from a long time ago that he was had been forgotten. A young blonde boy was being taught how to ride a broomstick by his father. Those had been the days of innocence. Draco slept peacefully that night, a small smile on his face.
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