AN: Only one or two more chapters to go. Thanks to those who reviewed…I love you guys. Also, I stole a line from The Patriot in this chapter. See if you can spot it! Thanks guys!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Chapter 12: Belated Tears
Draco had only scattered memories of the days that followed the last battle. He recalled the day of his parent's trial. Both had been convicted of Death Eater activity. His father would be in there for life while his mother would be out in ten years. Draco found that he did not care. He was an orphan now. His parents gave him no money after the so-called treason he had committed. For once, Draco Malfoy did not have the best of the best. Fortunately he was able to get a job in the Office of Prosecution in the Ministry of Magic almost as soon as he left Hogwarts.
Draco remembered how the Ministry had barely questioned him about the murder of Voldemort. Though the members of The Order had been given permission to use the Killing Curse, he had still expected someone, somewhere to protest. No one had.
But most of all Draco recollected Potter's attitude towards the whole thing. He had shut off somehow to everyone but his closest friends. Draco had never asked for forgiveness from Potter or Granger and now he was paying for it dearly. The only person he had seen since Hogwarts was Potter and that was only when he went to see a game of Quidditch. Bloody Potter was playing in championship Quidditch games for the Chudley Cannons.
Light was filtering through the window in Draco's bedroom. Dawn had arrived and Draco could not wait a moment longer. He threw on some robes and Apparated outside the Ministry. He was lucky to have access to the Ministry files. He rifled through the papers that they were required to fill out when they first entered the Ministry. The only hope he had of finding Granger was that she was working at the Ministry. And then there was the file. He smiled triumphantly. It seemed she was working as an Unspeakable. Suddenly, he had a thought and looked for Weasley's file too. Sure enough, he was working as an Unspeakable as well. Draco wrote down the address of Granger's home.
He worked in his office until lunchtime even though it was a weekend. He was anxious to talk to the girl whose parents he had helped kill years before. He wanted to be forgiven, but he wasn't sure she would allow it. He Apparated close to her home and walked the other two blocks. Draco looked at the small, modest house and felt intimidated by her. She had the power to make his life horrible for years to come, or she could help him out. He didn't want to think about which one she was most likely to choose.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He hadn't practiced what he was going to do or say…and he felt he was more nervous for this meeting than he ever had when speaking with Voldemort.
A slim woman with bushy brown hair answered the door. Draco recognized her at once. He thought for a moment on how to address her. Respect sounded like a good idea. "Er…Ms. Granger…" he began.
She looked shocked to see him, but seemed to get over that fact when he spoke. "Actually…Mrs. Weasley," she said as her face turned a light shade of pink.
A loud shout came from inside the house. "Who is it?" Draco didn't recognize the voice, but he knew who it was.
Weasley came to the door and stood by his wife. "What do you want?" he asked harshly.
Draco worked to keep the smug grin off of his face that he had shown Potter's gang for the better part of seven years. "I just want to talk to her," he said quietly.
Weasley did not seem convinced. He glared. "Well…I don't think that's going to happen," he muttered in anger. Draco didn't blame him. He had helped kill Hermione's parents. Did he expect to be welcomed with open arms?
Granger considered him for a moment. She laid a hand on Ron's chest, which seemed to have an instant calming effect. She whispered something in his ear and he nodded uncertainly. "Fine," he said to Draco. "But you give me your wand before I let you in a room alone with her."
Draco nodded bitterly. "Fine," he growled. He shoved his wand at Weasley who looked at it as if it had slime all over it.
"Follow me," Granger said. She led him to a small room with two desks, chairs, and papers everywhere. She looked at him calmly, obviously waiting for him to start talking. Did she know what he was there for?
"I…" he began. What could he say? What was there to say? The only thing he had left was the truth. "I never apologized to you," he muttered avoiding eye contact. His voice sounded oddly high. "You know what I did with Voldemort…"
Anger and hurt flashed in her eyes in the same second. "Say it," she said through gritted teeth. "Say what you did and look me in the eye when you say it."
He nodded weakly and looked into her saddened brown eyes. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry…for…for helping to torture and kill your parents. I know that it's not enough and I know that I can never make it up to you but I wanted you to know that not a day has gone by where I haven't thought of them."
Tears were sliding down her cheeks. She swiped at them angrily as if not wanting to look hurt in front of him. Draco knew that feeling. How many years had he worked to not show emotion…not to show any weakness? "I told Ron that you couldn't have done it yourself…that someone else did and you were probably just there. But that's not true is it?"
Draco stared. Did he have to admit what he did aloud to her? It seemed that was what she wanted, but he didn't know if he could do it. "Draco?" she asked.
He looked up at her in shock. She had just called him by his first name. None of them had ever done that before. "I tortured your mother and then I…I…I killed her." He was surprised to find tears forming in his own eyes. He concentrated on keeping them back. Hermione was shaking her head towards the ceiling as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard.
"Did you expect to come here, tell me what you did, and then be forgiven?" she asked. "It doesn't work like that, you know. You killed my mother, Draco. Do you realize that? Do you even know what you did? It wasn't someone else. It wasn't some part of you that's gone. It was you. You tortured my mother and listened to her scream and then you made the decision that she didn't deserve to live based on her bloodline and the fact that I am friends with Harry." Tears were streaming down her face now.
"No…it…wasn't like that…" Draco began half-heartedly.
"Oh, really?" she said. "Then what was it like?" Draco paused and pondered her question. He came up with no answer. She was right.
But he was determined to provide solace to her in some way. "Maybe you're right," he said quietly. "But your parents didn't die in vain. I know that doesn't help…but what I did that night…it haunts me every night and I have never thought of doing anything to another human being since then. I know you think that I probably enjoyed it because of the way I was at school…but I was so naïve."
It was the first time he had ever admitted the fact that he was wrong. He had been wrong about his father. He had been wrong about the Death Eaters. He had been wrong about Voldemort. "I didn't think you would forgive me," he whispered, "but I couldn't go on knowing that I didn't try. I know that nothing…nothing I say will ever make the p-pain go away, but I want you to know that your parents made me see what a prat I was being…I've changed…I really have."
She looked at him with an expression he couldn't identify. "You ask for my forgiveness even though you stole a part of my life from me, Draco. You and your Death Eater clan, you orphaned me." And suddenly he realized how much he had hurt her…how much damage he had done.
"I know," his voice cracked. "The Death Eaters orphaned me too. And well…I don't think I could forgive them either. They destroyed my family and…I know I destroyed yours too. I don't know what I was thinking." He hurried to the door so she wouldn't see the tears that were spilling down his cheeks. What had he been thinking…coming here?
She tugged on his arm before he could leave. Reluctantly, he turned around. Her jaw dropped when she saw the tears. Did she think he had no emotions left? "Why are you crying?"
Draco looked at her with blurry vision. "I have long feared that my sins would revisit me…and the cost of it is more than I can bear."
He turned the doorknob of the room, but she stopped him again. "Draco…you're really sorry." She sounded surprised, shocked even. "I…I forgive you."
And to his surprise she leaned over and hugged him. It was very quick, but Draco longed for more…affection…the affection of friends…something he had never known. "You know…Harry, Ron and I have all done things that were not exactly proud of in the war. And sometimes I know I still dream about things…sometimes I wish I could forget the whole thing…but I settled for forgiveness. And if someone can find it in their heart to forgive me…then I think I can do the same for you."
He nodded and wiped the tears from his face. "Thanks. It means a lot to me."
She smiled. "You're not as bad as I thought. At least…not anymore."
"And your not as horrible as I thought," he said. "Of course, I'm not sure I can say the same for Weasley and Potter."
"Have you spoken to them?" Hermione asked.
Draco shook his head. "No…I have to talk to Harry. I need to."
"It was you, wasn't it? That time when he was tortured…you did it," she said.
"You mean…he never told you?" he asked.
"No…Harry was always reserved…even with us." She said softly.
"How did you guess?" he wondered.
"Guilt is the most visible emotion. I can see it in your eyes, no matter how hard you try to hide it," Hermione said gently.
Draco left the room and she followed him out. Ron handed him his wand back and glanced at Hermione. She mouthed, "Later," and he said nothing.
"I'm going to go," Draco said. "Thank you…Hermione…and," it pained him, but he said it, "Ron."
He left feeling rather content. She had forgiven him. Hermione really was a good person. In fact, besides Dumbledore she was the only person to see past the Malfoy last name and look at him as a person. It surprised him. And he only had one last thing to do. He had to find Potter and, for once in his life, put aside his pride for the truth.
AN: Well Whaddya think? Was it good? Did it suck? Please Review!
