Tell-Tale Clippers
by Eikyu & Mizuno

Authors' notes:
This is Seiya's version of Tell-Tale Heart with a little er...
twist. To say the least, this was not started in much of a
"yay Mamoru" sorta mood. I understand he's a cool character,
we just thought Seiya deserved a chance. It's just for fun,
so please don't kill me Mamoru fans. You can kill Mizuno if ya
want, but good luck finding her. *^ ^*

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I looked at my present roommate. Dear odango had
to go and try and take care of Mizuno-san, who was ill. Perfect.
Now, we were here, just I and him. A tingling sensation moved up
my spine as we stood there in the deafening silence, which he soon
broke."So, looks like it`s just the two of us, ne?" I just stood
there and analyzed him from head to toe, leaving his remark adrift
in the crisp evening air.

They said I was crazy for moving in, with him being there,
but they did not understand the genius of it all; it was perfect,
my plan. I was going to get rid of that giant nose forever!
Every time he, Mamoru-san, would look at me, all I could ever
see was that wretched nose, but I would not let him stain my
perfect vision with that monstrosity any longer!

I was going to kill the muffin man! Er..Mamoru-san.

What is that? NOT ORIGINAL!? Ha Ha! Listen insolence.
I was going to kill Mamoru-san, yes...with a pair of toe-nail
clippers!!! Still not original?

Yes, everynight I would creep into his room and creak
open the door until I could fit my curl-covered head in. Then
I would silently transform and point at what I thought was his
head with the star yell and whisper, "Star Serious Laser!" and
a thin, weak beam would shoot up his nostril and when he snored
the beam was sucked in.

After an hour of painful standing, I retreated back to
my room and stared at my posters of Lina Inverse and Mr. Spoon
until dawn came. I then bravely strided into his room into
his room and shouted, "Superman!" and he jumped up, rubbing
his evil, so very EVIL, nose.

I smiled at him with pure innocence while I cooked
breakfast. I was the perfect idiot until that night, where
I repeated the procedure. I call it, the "Laser Project."

This went on until suddenly, when I was feeding my
"power" into his left nostril, I slipped and fell in the door
and the laser was cut off. Mamoru sat up quickly, "Who`s there?"
he called out in cheap dubbed english. I tried to stifle a giggle
but it slipped and he groaned in terror...or hunger, I couldn`t tell.
tell. He stood up and felt around the dark room. I felt his
foot along my back. I screamed when I realized this. He flicked
on the light. Caught!

"Seiya!"

"No," I shouted, "You prepare to die, big nose!" He seemed
confused. I held up my gloved hand along with a pair of toe-nail
clippers and shouted, "Star Fighter Killer Clippers!" I threw the
clippers at him but they bounced off his head. "Aww..!" He groaned.
I laughted insanely and shouted, "Feel the wrath of Sailor Star
Fighter! Star Serious LASER!!"

The huge beam that flew at him reacted with the small beams
I had been feeding in his nose before it had actually hit him.

This great surge of energy caused one thing. Poof. Mamoru
exploded and his few remaining cinders flew out an open window. For
a moment I stood in shock at what I had done.

"Oh, god!" I screeched, "Oh, dear Buhhta! I'm gonna die! No...
I'm gonna get arrested THEN die!! GAH!"

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That's all right now, folks. Kinda pointless, but at least fun to right ^^;;

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Disclaimer: We do not claim any rights to Sailor Moon. That is the strict
property of Naoko Takeuchi, Toei, Kodansha, and the other companies involved.
Neither do we claim the Lina Inverse from Slayers. She belongs to, er...
whoever she belongs to. We also do not own Tell-Tale Heart.