Disclaimer: Yeah, still don't own any of these characters. They're Capcom's. and yes, in a way, Enzo does talk like this for the brief amount of text you read of him from the first story. Snyder's the only original one in here, by the way.
Enzo's Interview
Y'know what I've started to like the most about this business? The fact that people always wanna' get snuck in order to give the info you could've easily paid 'em off ta' give. Ruins my pretty lil' hands, though. I'm tryin' ta' keep 'em soft for m'ladies out there peepin' my Italian style. Of course, a little ass whoopin' never hurt anyone. An'way, not too many people know about me like that, so y'all might be thrown off by who I am, how I do, an' what got me in this in this from the get-go, but maybe at the end of this, I'll probably get 'cho respect…if not your number. *rubs fingers on Goatee**
I'm a try an' keep this short, 'cause I know y'all got your lives to get to, but the basic reason I got in this huntin' lifestyle was by gettin' involved with the wrong cats when I was a young boi. I mean, even though they just sprung up from the blue, these dudes were the biggest mobsters on the central block of this country, an' yet no one knew why. That's when my curious monkey-ass had to dig deep, an' find out that my peoples were worshippin' some strange lookin'…I can't even describe it. Hardly remember its name…Argo-somethin'…still, when I saw these dudes transform inta'…I'll keep it simple, they turned into demons, close to the old type vampires…when that happened, my wig was flipped like Wilson.
Freaked out, I put a few shells in 'em, and they were still comin' at me, all because I wasn't supposed to know about that. I knew the family ran dirty, but damn! That's when someone came in an' took 'em out, sealin' up their real boss for a good long time. Mister Divine Intervention? I think his name was Snyder. Since I didn't have a blood family to go back to (that's another story), and this surrogate one tried to Boreanez my ass, he took me in with his wife, who was also a Devil Hunter. From there I got the skills an' everything a growin' Mainlander needs…except Trish's fine body.
On them, I can't see why Dante would put up with that. Bein' partners with the one person that tried to kill you…I guess he got better issues with trust than I do. If someone came back lookin' like my blood relations, I'd swell their jaw up, no lie…but that's me, and again, that's another story. What was I sayin'…oh yeah, Trish…I wanna' hit that so bad! Think about it, what type of women are betta' in bed? The crazy, demon chicks! I know this first hand, I love 'em! Arrrrgh!
A'ight, I'm spent, I had my words…if I'm around for the next one of these, maybe I'll tell you more 'bout Dante, and how loose he really can be. All I'm sayin' is that it involves bowling balls an' a flamethrower. I talk too much, I'm out, peace!
