A/N: And once again, much to my own frustration but the delight on my muses, I am pleased to present you with the insanity of the X-Kids, Part II. All the usual mumbo-jumbo, I don't own the X-Men, the Oscars, or any famous people mentioned during this bit. I do own Zoe and you can read more about her in The Struggle or in the Insanity of the X-Kids Part I, aka Bath Time. Now when we last left our heroes-in-training…
And the Award Goes To…
"Ready, set, pull!" John cried as yet another popcorn kernel was flicked into the air, coming from behind him. With a deft twitch of his lighter, John popped the kernel mid-air and it landed neatly in Bobby's open mouth.
"Ready, set, pu-Ouch! Kitty, what the hell!" John exclaimed as Kitty smacked him up-side the head, hard.
"Shhhhh!," she scolded. "I want to hear." She and Marie were seated on the couch between Bobby on one end and John on the other. Zoe and Jubilee were sitting back to back on the floor at their feet. And in the big arm-chair behind John, sat the big Peter Rasputin, holding a big bowl of popcorn seeds.
"Awwww, c'mon Kitty, we're hungry," Bobby whined. This time he silenced by Marie, who grabbed his arm in her gloved hand and twisted, her eyes never leaving the TV.
"Than go pop a bowl, you morons. If not, than shut up." Obviously Marie was trying to listen too. In the few seconds of quiet that followed, the TV announcer spoke:
Hello and welcome to the 76th Academy Awards…which was followed by applause from the crowd of stars and, sadly, from Kitty as well. The entire group turned to look at the enthralled brunette.
"Kitty," Zoe began in her talking-to-insane-friends voice, "you know that they can't hear you, right?" Kitty chose to ignore her comment…well, either that or she was too far gone in her fantasy to hear.
"Now, vhat is the point of dis show again?" Peter asked in a thick, Russian accent.
"It is to honor and commemorate the great works of filmmaking from the past ye-," Marie began to explain in an awestruck voice, but John jumped in to um, help…
"It's to make the rich and famous even more rich and famous by honoring them for completing mediocre and cushy movies."
"Ahh, I see…," Pete said nodding, clearly still not understanding. While the boys were distracted, the girls oggoled over Shane West as he presented the award for some animated number.
"Man…he is really fine-," Zoe began.
"I know, he has great arms-," Jubilee interjected, practically drooling.
"-No way, it's the abs. The hot-guy-must-have is a good six pack-," Zoe retorted, before Marie jumped in.
"No, it's the chest. If he's hot, he's got to have a maxed out chest." Suddenly five pairs of eyes drifted towards Bobby's chest. Then five sets of eyebrows arched in Marie's direction.
"Wait! If Marie likes guys with big chests, then why is she datin-," Jubes wondered out loud until Zoe poked her in the ribs. "OW! What?" she demanded, clearly not getting the hint. "What did I sa-OW!" She received yet another poke, accompanied by a mild shock. She apparently failed to notice that Bobby was out-blushing a cherry. The poking continued for a while, as the awards droned on in the background.
This year's award for best supporting actress goes to…wow, this envelope is tricky…Halle Berry!
Kitty jumped up suddenly, shouting and flailing her arms above her head. Bobby sighed in relief as all the eyes were suddenly diverted from him and locked onto the insane jumper.
"What? I wanted her to win…what?!?" She demanded. Then suddenly all seven heads whirled as a noise from the threshold caught their attention. Ororo and Jean were standing in the doorway, glancing at the strange scene in front of them.
"Guys, could you please settle d – no. You know what? Never mind, I don't know why I even ask," Jean muttered, walking continuing past the doorway, shaking her hear forlornly. Ororo, however, glanced at the awards briefly before abandoning the insane asylum aka TV room.
"So Berry won, huh?" She shook her head. "That woman is such a fake. She just pisses the heck out of me for some reason…" She continued to mutter, but the kids toned it out and diverted their attention back to the TV as Kitty retuned her butt to the couch.
Finally, John broke the silence with the statement that began WWIII:
"Bet I could cause more damage at one of these fancy shindigs than you," he said to Bobby. Naturally, calamity ensued.
"Like hell you could," Bobby exclaimed, glad that the girls were between him and John. "Six hundred butts frozen to their seats, Oscar sno-cones, and a winter wonderland backdrop-."
"Not to mention a lot of girls with nip-neeeever mind," Peter began before he realized that he was speaking aloud and that he was surrounded by girls waiting to flail him. Now he was the one getting looked at oddly. John brought everyone's attention back to a normal…well, more normal area of discussion.
"Yeah, real destructive Iceman. C'mon, a few raging fires and the entire place ends up destroyed."
"Yeah, but mine would last longer. Hell, I could keep them frozen their all night if I wanted to!"
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The boys were practically blown from their seats by the onslaught of angry 'shhhhh'-ing.
"Anyways, you guys are just upset because you know that I could cause more damage at one of the those black tie affairs than both of you combined," Zoe said, fanning the fire, literally in John's terms. They both rounded on her, shouting above one another so that the noise was an incomprehensible babble. She calmly waited until they had run out of breath before continuing. "C'mon, shorting out cameras, cutting the power to mikes, interrupting the sounds recordings. Plus…I wouldn't even have to be there to do it. I could do it right here, right now," she said arrogantly. Bobby and John shot one another a look over the girls' heads, coming to a silent agreement. They turned to regard the blonde, clearly up to no good.
"Alright Zo. Forty bucks if you can visibly mess with the power right now," John proposed, clicking the lid of his lighter.
"And if I can't?" Zo demanded, sensing a catch. Bobby's eyes lit up menically as he sensed the perfect opportunity to get her back for the shower incident earlier.
"If you haven't by the end of the awards, then we get your car for a week. Deal?" Well, he's struck a chord. Bobby knew that Zoe's most prized possession was her car, shit-mobile that it was. He also knew that she was strapped for cash at the moment. She was clearly torn.
"Oh…alright." She extended her hand to both boys, shaking to make it official. Then, moving so suddenly that Jubilee, with out the support of her friend's back, fell onto the floor, she seated herself directly in front of the TV in the lotus position. Ignoring the indignant cries from Kitty and Marie, and Jube's yelps of pain, she closed her eyes and focused, extending herself farther than ever before.
The boys waited on pins and needles…at least for the first five minutes. Twenty minutes later, they were somewhat less amused.
ONE HOUR LATER
And now, the winner for best picture is…
As the awards drew to a close Kitty and Marie gripped each other's arms and balanced on the edge of the couch cushions in excitement, Peter's snores faltered as he shifted in his sleep, Jubilee choked on the popcorn kneral she was sucking on, Bobby and John raised their hands in triumph, and Zoe's hair suddenly stood on end.
…The-
Suddenly the picture on the TV began to waver and the sound warped. The image flashed once, twice…
"Holy shit!" John exclaimed. "She did it."
…Then the entire mansion went black.
"Zoe?"
"Yeah?"
"What just happened?" Jubilee demanded.
"Um, I missed."
