Author's Note: Miaka's POV on what good-bye really is and means.
What is so 'Good' about Good-Bye?
By: Lauren
Did you ever really think about what 'good-bye' means? Say it out loud.
Good-bye.
Now tell me, what is so good about saying bye? Saying bye is not a fun thing to do. It hurts my heart and makes it ache until it shatters like glass. That was how I felt when I had to say good-bye to you Nuriko.
I thought, why did things have to be like this? Why did you have to leave me? Why did it all turn out the way it did? Why did I have to say good-bye to you?
Tell me, what was so 'good' about that? It was not good at all. The hot tears fell constantly and I couldn't bear to say good-bye to you and let you go. I felt a void in me; an emptiness that I knew would never be refilled. It was a hole where you had left. But…I guess I was wrong because you were always there. You never stopped protecting me and you were always in my heart.
There are different kinds of good-byes also.
I had to say good-bye to Tamahome sometimes, and those were very hard to do also. But thankfully, he always returned to me, no matter how painful the wait was. That was a brief, short good-bye. Nuriko, Hotohori, Mitsukake, and Chiriko…you all gave me a final good-bye, something I will never forget. Those are the good-byes that stay with you always and those are the good-byes that change you permanently. Yui and I almost had to say good-bye forever. Same with Mama and Keisuke. I almost had to say good-bye to them.
There are also good-byes that you might like where you say good-bye to people you dislike. But, after they are gone, you still feel a bit empty. Even if you did not like them, without them, things are different. Or you can say good-bye and it isn't that you don't like them, but you have to move on and do other things until you meet again. Also, there are easy good-byes because you know you will see them again soon. There are good-byes that tear at your soul and eat at your heart. They make you cold and hard like a stone, unable to get over them. Those are one of the worst.
Also, there are reoccurring good-byes. You say good-bye to someone and you miss them. You miss them oh so badly that you grow numb to the feeling and suppress it. Then, much later, you see them again and things are filled with joy. Things fill with happiness until you have to leave or they do. Another painful good-bye, until you meet again.
Mama, Keisuke and I said good-bye to Papa. It made her very sad. I had to say good-bye to the book world. I said good-bye to my innocence and I grew. I had to say so many good-byes; I hate it. I hate good-bye. It is not good! It will never be good! It hurts too much.
But I suppose we must say good-bye to grow and to mature.
You don't always have to use good-bye either. If it is a bye that is good to you, you can say good-bye. If it is a short good-bye that isn't very sad, then you can say good-bye or just plain bye. If it is a final good-bye, you can say farewell or something like I love you. It is entirely up to you.
Even if you don't want to say good-bye, it still happens, whether you like it or not. And then, later, it will turn into an unforgettable memory. Whether it be painful or not. I had to say good-bye to my old way of life, I had to say good-bye to those I love, and I had to say good-bye to my childish antics. And what for? A new beginning? A new way of life?
I'm scared.
Scared of this change and this good-bye. Will we ever meet again? Will our good-bye be a permanent one? Our last meeting in this time and this life? Will it be a painful bye, just like the others?
I don't want that! I want our bye to be a good one, one that does not last forever- one that promises a meeting in the future.
No!
No!
Don't go! Don't leave me!
I don't want to be alone!
Stop!
Your crimson blood covers my hands. I futilely try to stop your warm blood from flowing out of your cold body by pressing my hand against your wounds.
Stop flowing and pouring out! Keep your heart beating! Stop bleeding and start moving!
Don't make me say good-bye again!
This makes me so weary. I'm tired of saying good-bye!
Lifeless eyes…
…a still body…
…for this kind of good-bye…
…farewell…seems more appropriate…
Yes, I do not think this good-bye thing is good at all.
But…if we never say good-bye…can we ever say hello?
