HEY!! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry this has taken so long!! It's been, what, about a month. Heh, and i promised in the last one "the next nite" *scoffs* well, sorry. I jus had a lot of crap goin on after newyears. I can sit here and make excuses but i wont, so...heres chapter 7. Wow, seven! I have no idea how long this whole ficcy is going to be. Prolly like 20 chapters or so. heh...*dreams of the day* anywhos....HERE...WE...GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Chapter 7
To the extreme annoyance of Dib, Zim showed up at school the next day. He had interrogated Gaz the night before, but all he got was a butt pummeling. And he didn't hear or see anything about a house exploding on the news, so his hopes where slim that Zim was actualy dead.
Zim walked casualy towards Tak who was sitting by herself on one of the small brick school walls. He threw a piece of folded paper towards her and walked away. Tak looked back as she walked away and smirked. Dropping down from the wall, she picked it up. It read: Come to my house at 8:00 pm. Alone. No robot. I swear on the Spalooshian Irk Swear of Doom, this is no trap. If you've been as abservant as I suspect you've been, you'll want to come." She laughed silently to herself and walked on.
Zim next approached Dib. Pointing a finger at him, he declared, "Nice try DIB. Better luck next time. I really thought more of you then try to just blow me up. Make no mistake, you WILL die along with the rest of your filthy, disgusting humans." He started walking off. Then, out of nowhere, his eyes met Gaz's, who gently looked up from her Game Slave 2. The moment came..and passed. She looked down and he walked away.
"Whats he planning Gaz? He's planning SOMETHING...but...WHAT?!?"
Gaz batted him off. "Shut your pie hole."
Dib stood there angry at his sister, at Zim, and at the world.
Later that day around 8:15, Tak stood in front of Zim's yard. She had been standing there for the past twenty minutes thinking. Computing the risks and trying to think up a reason why she was there. A few hours earlier after school ended, Tak logged onto the Irken network and brought up Zim's file. It showed basic specs, class, rank, status, and that he was considered mentally insane. History files, blah blah blah, it was all stuff she already knew. After scanning those files, she hacked into the confidential files with a bug program she had created. What she found suprised her.
Tak expected Zim to be some lowly piece of wannabe invader trash. But it was the complete oposite. Now the full reason why he was given full charge to Operation Impending Doom 1 was clear. 20 years before O.I.D 1, Zim was nothing short of a legend. During his academy days, he recieved utmost praise and honor. The only aspect he wasn't top in was his piloting skills. Everything else, from genetic engineering, to mechanical procedures, Zim was top gun for at least 20 years. He was actualy the one who had designed the standard voot cruiser, which by now was quite dated, but all other Irken small scale crafts were based on his design. This suprised her, as she had never even heard of Zim in her days in the academy. But that was AFTER impending doom 1, in which henceforth his name was almost completely abolished. Besides the piloting spiff, the only other smudge on his form was that he had a mental need for destruction and was classified as possible pre homocidal. Not suprising one bit.
But shortly before impending doom 1, Zim in short went wacko. It didn't show itself completly until after impending doom 1, but it was clearly there. At first he continued publishing brilliant stuff, pressing new theories. But due to his unpopularity and the popular belief that he was insane, he had a mental relapse. Gradualy his ideas got more and more wacky and zany. Pyschological wise, Tak guessed Zim's self confidence had taken a major blow, leading to him forcing to boost himself over and over. This explained Zim's current ego issue. Of course all Irken's had an ego the size of mountains. They were known as a prideful race. But in Zim's case, it was outrageous, even for an Irken.
So Tak stood there. "Hmmm...should enter the lair of one of the most insane Irken known. Not to mention one of the cutest....wait. What the hell!" She mentally kicked herself and walked up to the door.
Zim sat inside his fortess, mumbling to himself how late Tak was and how stupid she looked just standing out in front of his house. Grumbling a little, he ws tempted to just walk outside and scream for her to come in. But that would ruin the setting he had tediously worked on. Finally, after nearly causing Zim to rupture a blood vessel, Tak ringed the door. The second she did, it automaticly flew open, and Zim's voice spoke from deep within the darkness of the shadows of his house..."Your late...come in...now." Only his voice sounded deep and foreboding, clearly the result of a voice synthesizer.
Right on queue, Gir popped out, and moved to close the door behind Tak. That is, he would have moved to close the door behind Tak if he hadn't tripped over the power cord.
"Warning!" yelled the computer, "Light and visual sequence 496 dash 9018724218374629 interupted! Revertion to standard visual and light modes in progress!!!"
Zim screamed in frustration as Gir ran around chewing on the cord and short circuiting himself repeatedly. Tak closed the door, then proceeded to kick Gir into the corner, where he laughed and giggled like a six year old who was trippin on crack.
"You know..." She said, "This...thing...isn't an actual CIR unit. It's some kind of horible, disgusting, horrible thing."
Zim gritted his teeth in anger and replied, "Yes, yes. I know. I realized something was wrong when a bannana peel was in place for it's main opperating system."
Tak walked calmly over, holding one of her arms and asking with a quite annoyed tone in her voice, "So...what do you want?"
Zim chuckled at how soon she, like all other Irken females, rushed to the point. He folded his arms and replied, "The question is, my dear Tak, is what do YOU want??"
"Eh?"
Zim chuckled to himself a bit more. "Heheh. Despite your pathetic attempt to convince me otherwise, I still think you're here after my planet and my blood. And, well, I decided to do something about it..."
Tak, already on her gaurd from a trap, stated flatly, "Zim, I don't want this rock. The Tallest don't want this rock. Heck, I can't imagine why an idiot like YOU would. Wait, oh yeah, I guess the idiot part has something to do with it."
Zim snickered. "It's worth...FAR more then you could ever imagine. I have a bargaining chip for you. Something beyond your wildest dreams..."
Tak listened closer and her eyes showed interest.
"GIR!!"
Gir stopped dancing and lept over. "Yes, my lord!"
"Initiate...product bay...CINIMIA"
Gir walked over to a hidden control pannel sighing, "Thats my favorite bay!"
The ground shook beneath them as they decended lower into Zim's base. The deeper they went, the more Tak was convinced Zim was going to kill her. They ended up in a room surrouned by a ginormous aquarium. Inside, there was...nothing.
"This..." said Zim as he cackled to himself, "Is what I'll give you access to. It has taken me months to develop such micro technology, but it has been done!! COMPUTER!!"
"Whaaaaaaaaat?"
"Run sequence cow-CH PO-taters!"
There were various blips as spacious comfortable seats suddenly came up beneath Tak forcing her to sit down. At the same time a giant screen popped up directly in front of them. From the ceiling fell a bucket, popcorn to fill the bucket, and then the butter. While the first two made their mark, the latter did not. Warm butter dripped all over her unamused head.
"Heheh..." squeaked Zim, "I, uh, still have some bugs to fix in that program..."
Tak's head was suddenly ambushed by Gir as he tried to lick up the butter drenching her.
"WHAHAAA!!" yelled the bot, "You head smells like a pickle!"
Tak screamed out of her seat, arms flailing, sight impaired. She ran into a screaming Zim and they both collapsed on the floor.
"GIR!!" yelled a buttery Zim, "The dairy compartment is now open!! You have permission to go for a swim."
Gir ran out howling like a maniac monkey as Zim and Tak tried looked at themeselves in their uttermost greasiness. As Zim licked one of his fingers, his eyes suddenly widened.
Picking up Taks hand, he gasped, "Your juices...so..delicious."
Before Tak could respond, Zim slowly licked each of her fingers, his Irken snake-like tongue running around her hand. She shuddered a bit and tried to pull away at first in digust, but was soon suprised at the amount of enjoyment she got out of this treatment. Strangly, pure butter was among the few liquids that didn't burn Irken skin.
Zim slowly moved up her arm, sending shudders through both their bodies. His tongue traveled bit by bit over her neck, over her cheeks and found its place and in Tak's mouth to discover to find a friend to play with. Their sleak bodies slid onto each other, both trying to grasp the other with their oily hands. After a minute or so, both their boddies quivering slightly, Zim moved back down to her neck, sucking in the juices slightly. Tak slowly moaned his name, "Z-..Zim..."
Suddenly his eyes widened again. And as if coming out of a trance, he lept away, wondering within his head what had transpired. What had caused him to slip into emotions untouched for decades. What kind of hynotic powers did this Irken posess over him? He cursed himself and paced slightly as Tak lay there gasping for air, her clothes sticking slightly, her skin glistening, and her body soaked in butter and Irken sweat.
"W..what...the hell was that??" She asked, still gasping slightly from the shock of it all. "Another trick you learned from the humans?
"NO!" He stoped dead in his tracks and searched mentally for an answer to his peculiar behavior. "It...it was the butter! Yes...it seems to have a peculiar effect on Irkens...very peculiar."
She chuckled a bit and seductively licked the tip of her finger, letting her tongue trail and Zim blush. "Heh. Maybe I need to get to know this "butter" better. Heh. Maybe you and me both."
Zim blushed again and decided to ignore the remark. "Well...back to business..."
Tak got up and hesitantly sat back down in one of the chairs. Zim walked over to the side of the giant digital screen. "Computer! Run plankton sequence!"
The black and white static of snow filled the screen. It took a few hefty kicks from Zim for the movie to start up normally. On the screen was a creature that looked slightly like a deformed shrimp, only white as a sheet.
Tak munched unbuttered popcorn and asked between moutfulls, "What the heck is this."
"IT...is the pillar that keeps all life on Earth constant. The unkown, unresearched, PLANKTON!!" There were a few buzzing noises as the movie switched to viewing the innards of the plankton. "This...PLANK-TON is eaten by many sea creatures and giant behemouths deamed whales by the humans. Through this simple organism, I have devised a way to control ALL MAN KIND!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!'
Tak yawned.
"You see...I have created ROBOT PLANKTON!! And by releasing these mechanical demons and letting them be eaten by the giant whale monsters, I will take control over the huge mammals of blubber. And then...oh yes...the war against the WHALES AND HUMANS WILL BEGIN!! And in the end, when the species have destroyed each other, I, ZIM! will rise from the ashes to CLAIM THIS WORLD! MUAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!"
"Very amusing Zim. What exactly do these whale things look like, and why exactly are you telling me this?"
Zim clicked a button. Suddenlt clips of humpack whales creating giant waves, killer whales looking deadly, and bottle nosed dolphins eating fish filled the screen. A clip of JAWs eating various youngsters flashed, a dinosaur marched across a plain, and a T-rex eating a screaming human from Jurrasic Park 8: the revenge of the frogs. The video triumphantly ended with Godzilla spitting fire into the blood red sky and roaring a victory cry over what was the remains of New York City.
Tak drooled in the destruction. "You'd...you'll have control..over ALL OF THAT?"
Zim gleamed with pride.
Tak suddenly shook her head and replied, "No, no Zim. You're trying to give me this kind of access so I'll keep off your back right? Well, I've said it once, and I wont say it again. I don't want this rock."
"Wha? What was that? I wasn't listening."
Tak smacked her forehead. "Look Zim. I'm not after anything. I'm worthless back on Irk, as I'll be reassigned to janitorial duty if I ever go back. So I've decided to take some leave on Earth...just for kicks. Oh...and on second thought. I figure...maybe I'll keep you around afterall.
Zim stared at her and blinked a few times. "How about...possesed clowns? Will that keep you out of my hair?"
"You don't have hair, and no."
"Weasel demons?"
"No."
"A gnome army."
"no."
"hypnotics helmets."
"naw."
"Uh...a smelly teddy bear."
"NO! Wait, what was that last one?"
Zim writhed in frustration. Pounding himself on the head, the idea suddenly came to him.
"How about...completing the legendary Irken Tallness Ascent?"
"N...wha? You're...you're not serious are you?!?"
FINALLY! he thought. He had found a bargaining tool...perhaps it was a high price, but he'd pay anything to get Tak out of his way.
"Trust me Tak. I'm dead serious."
"You mean you've..."
"YES!! I, the AMAZING ZIM has cracked the mysterious legend, the evolutionary lapse, the secret....to tallness..."
Tak's mind raced through the possibility. Could it be? Was it possible? Her mind raced back to the legend...the myth...
According to Irken history, the original planet the Irkens ascended from was a planet called Spliff. Legends say that in the days of old, Irkens mightily grew to heights of an unimaginable seven feet. They were strong in not only mind, but physicaly too. Some of the most ludacris legends told of the myth that in those days, Irkens could actualy mate and bear young, unlike the pitiful way they are grown, spliced, and harvested today. They also lived lives triple in length of the average Irken if the present. Legends say they lived centuries like decades. This was Irken perfection, in both body and mind. But somehow, during the early rise of the exploration of space, the "Spliffians" were invaded themselves by a mysterious race of cosmic turtles wearing colourful masks with radical technology. To escape their impending doom, they fled their planet and plummeted the whole race blindly into the other side of the galaxy using an experimental warp drive in order to escape the blood thirsty turtle creatures who were strangely determined to wipe them out. The Spliffians found themselves in an unknown star system, but soon colonized the nearest planet that met living conditions. You know, nice living rooms, spacious bathrooms, that kind of sort. They named the planet which was empty of sentient life, "Irk", which means "new heaven/gift from God."
But something strange happened. Within four generations, the lifetime expectantsy slowly became lower. They were also radically decreasing in height. Eventualy, they found that they could no longer mate to bear offspring, and as some generations "matured", that they could not mate at all. Eventualy, to keep their race and legacy growing, they were forced to splice their genes to create offspring. Now, Irkens were grown like animals in cold test tubes. But it was their only way of survival, and their only connection to the perfect Spliffians of old.
This is why when out of nowhere the Tallest emerged, they were like gods to the Irkens. Their every wish was granted, leadership thrust forward, control of the vast and quickly growing Irken empire acquired. All because it seems as if they were prodigies...some kind of blip in the downward Irken genetic chain, granting them to be perfect. The only thing they lacked was the ability to mate, as both were males. And all attempts of experimental cloning or gene splicing failed, as the clones never followed the trait of the genetical fathers and were eventualy all killed in secret, just as they had come into the world.
And now, Zim claims to know the secret of the Tallness. He claims to know the most dire solution for the Irken race. He claims to know. Was he just simply insane? That idea was a big possibility, but how was it that Zim had grown so much taller then her over a series of six months when it was geneticaly impossible? HOW?
Tak's face seemed to be serious, yet playful at the same time."I'm listening...."
WHOA!! that was along chappy!! heheh. I know, I know. some scenes in this chapter just seem like excerpts from a bad lemon, don't they? Well, I was prolly going to turn this whole story into a lemon if it hadn't have been to the restrictions. oh well...whatcha gonna do? an i don think this is R material...but i'm afraid the next chapter might end up being if I'm not carefull....eek. if i change the rating...sorry! i dont intend anything too bad though...tune in nex time!!
Chapter 7
To the extreme annoyance of Dib, Zim showed up at school the next day. He had interrogated Gaz the night before, but all he got was a butt pummeling. And he didn't hear or see anything about a house exploding on the news, so his hopes where slim that Zim was actualy dead.
Zim walked casualy towards Tak who was sitting by herself on one of the small brick school walls. He threw a piece of folded paper towards her and walked away. Tak looked back as she walked away and smirked. Dropping down from the wall, she picked it up. It read: Come to my house at 8:00 pm. Alone. No robot. I swear on the Spalooshian Irk Swear of Doom, this is no trap. If you've been as abservant as I suspect you've been, you'll want to come." She laughed silently to herself and walked on.
Zim next approached Dib. Pointing a finger at him, he declared, "Nice try DIB. Better luck next time. I really thought more of you then try to just blow me up. Make no mistake, you WILL die along with the rest of your filthy, disgusting humans." He started walking off. Then, out of nowhere, his eyes met Gaz's, who gently looked up from her Game Slave 2. The moment came..and passed. She looked down and he walked away.
"Whats he planning Gaz? He's planning SOMETHING...but...WHAT?!?"
Gaz batted him off. "Shut your pie hole."
Dib stood there angry at his sister, at Zim, and at the world.
Later that day around 8:15, Tak stood in front of Zim's yard. She had been standing there for the past twenty minutes thinking. Computing the risks and trying to think up a reason why she was there. A few hours earlier after school ended, Tak logged onto the Irken network and brought up Zim's file. It showed basic specs, class, rank, status, and that he was considered mentally insane. History files, blah blah blah, it was all stuff she already knew. After scanning those files, she hacked into the confidential files with a bug program she had created. What she found suprised her.
Tak expected Zim to be some lowly piece of wannabe invader trash. But it was the complete oposite. Now the full reason why he was given full charge to Operation Impending Doom 1 was clear. 20 years before O.I.D 1, Zim was nothing short of a legend. During his academy days, he recieved utmost praise and honor. The only aspect he wasn't top in was his piloting skills. Everything else, from genetic engineering, to mechanical procedures, Zim was top gun for at least 20 years. He was actualy the one who had designed the standard voot cruiser, which by now was quite dated, but all other Irken small scale crafts were based on his design. This suprised her, as she had never even heard of Zim in her days in the academy. But that was AFTER impending doom 1, in which henceforth his name was almost completely abolished. Besides the piloting spiff, the only other smudge on his form was that he had a mental need for destruction and was classified as possible pre homocidal. Not suprising one bit.
But shortly before impending doom 1, Zim in short went wacko. It didn't show itself completly until after impending doom 1, but it was clearly there. At first he continued publishing brilliant stuff, pressing new theories. But due to his unpopularity and the popular belief that he was insane, he had a mental relapse. Gradualy his ideas got more and more wacky and zany. Pyschological wise, Tak guessed Zim's self confidence had taken a major blow, leading to him forcing to boost himself over and over. This explained Zim's current ego issue. Of course all Irken's had an ego the size of mountains. They were known as a prideful race. But in Zim's case, it was outrageous, even for an Irken.
So Tak stood there. "Hmmm...should enter the lair of one of the most insane Irken known. Not to mention one of the cutest....wait. What the hell!" She mentally kicked herself and walked up to the door.
Zim sat inside his fortess, mumbling to himself how late Tak was and how stupid she looked just standing out in front of his house. Grumbling a little, he ws tempted to just walk outside and scream for her to come in. But that would ruin the setting he had tediously worked on. Finally, after nearly causing Zim to rupture a blood vessel, Tak ringed the door. The second she did, it automaticly flew open, and Zim's voice spoke from deep within the darkness of the shadows of his house..."Your late...come in...now." Only his voice sounded deep and foreboding, clearly the result of a voice synthesizer.
Right on queue, Gir popped out, and moved to close the door behind Tak. That is, he would have moved to close the door behind Tak if he hadn't tripped over the power cord.
"Warning!" yelled the computer, "Light and visual sequence 496 dash 9018724218374629 interupted! Revertion to standard visual and light modes in progress!!!"
Zim screamed in frustration as Gir ran around chewing on the cord and short circuiting himself repeatedly. Tak closed the door, then proceeded to kick Gir into the corner, where he laughed and giggled like a six year old who was trippin on crack.
"You know..." She said, "This...thing...isn't an actual CIR unit. It's some kind of horible, disgusting, horrible thing."
Zim gritted his teeth in anger and replied, "Yes, yes. I know. I realized something was wrong when a bannana peel was in place for it's main opperating system."
Tak walked calmly over, holding one of her arms and asking with a quite annoyed tone in her voice, "So...what do you want?"
Zim chuckled at how soon she, like all other Irken females, rushed to the point. He folded his arms and replied, "The question is, my dear Tak, is what do YOU want??"
"Eh?"
Zim chuckled to himself a bit more. "Heheh. Despite your pathetic attempt to convince me otherwise, I still think you're here after my planet and my blood. And, well, I decided to do something about it..."
Tak, already on her gaurd from a trap, stated flatly, "Zim, I don't want this rock. The Tallest don't want this rock. Heck, I can't imagine why an idiot like YOU would. Wait, oh yeah, I guess the idiot part has something to do with it."
Zim snickered. "It's worth...FAR more then you could ever imagine. I have a bargaining chip for you. Something beyond your wildest dreams..."
Tak listened closer and her eyes showed interest.
"GIR!!"
Gir stopped dancing and lept over. "Yes, my lord!"
"Initiate...product bay...CINIMIA"
Gir walked over to a hidden control pannel sighing, "Thats my favorite bay!"
The ground shook beneath them as they decended lower into Zim's base. The deeper they went, the more Tak was convinced Zim was going to kill her. They ended up in a room surrouned by a ginormous aquarium. Inside, there was...nothing.
"This..." said Zim as he cackled to himself, "Is what I'll give you access to. It has taken me months to develop such micro technology, but it has been done!! COMPUTER!!"
"Whaaaaaaaaat?"
"Run sequence cow-CH PO-taters!"
There were various blips as spacious comfortable seats suddenly came up beneath Tak forcing her to sit down. At the same time a giant screen popped up directly in front of them. From the ceiling fell a bucket, popcorn to fill the bucket, and then the butter. While the first two made their mark, the latter did not. Warm butter dripped all over her unamused head.
"Heheh..." squeaked Zim, "I, uh, still have some bugs to fix in that program..."
Tak's head was suddenly ambushed by Gir as he tried to lick up the butter drenching her.
"WHAHAAA!!" yelled the bot, "You head smells like a pickle!"
Tak screamed out of her seat, arms flailing, sight impaired. She ran into a screaming Zim and they both collapsed on the floor.
"GIR!!" yelled a buttery Zim, "The dairy compartment is now open!! You have permission to go for a swim."
Gir ran out howling like a maniac monkey as Zim and Tak tried looked at themeselves in their uttermost greasiness. As Zim licked one of his fingers, his eyes suddenly widened.
Picking up Taks hand, he gasped, "Your juices...so..delicious."
Before Tak could respond, Zim slowly licked each of her fingers, his Irken snake-like tongue running around her hand. She shuddered a bit and tried to pull away at first in digust, but was soon suprised at the amount of enjoyment she got out of this treatment. Strangly, pure butter was among the few liquids that didn't burn Irken skin.
Zim slowly moved up her arm, sending shudders through both their bodies. His tongue traveled bit by bit over her neck, over her cheeks and found its place and in Tak's mouth to discover to find a friend to play with. Their sleak bodies slid onto each other, both trying to grasp the other with their oily hands. After a minute or so, both their boddies quivering slightly, Zim moved back down to her neck, sucking in the juices slightly. Tak slowly moaned his name, "Z-..Zim..."
Suddenly his eyes widened again. And as if coming out of a trance, he lept away, wondering within his head what had transpired. What had caused him to slip into emotions untouched for decades. What kind of hynotic powers did this Irken posess over him? He cursed himself and paced slightly as Tak lay there gasping for air, her clothes sticking slightly, her skin glistening, and her body soaked in butter and Irken sweat.
"W..what...the hell was that??" She asked, still gasping slightly from the shock of it all. "Another trick you learned from the humans?
"NO!" He stoped dead in his tracks and searched mentally for an answer to his peculiar behavior. "It...it was the butter! Yes...it seems to have a peculiar effect on Irkens...very peculiar."
She chuckled a bit and seductively licked the tip of her finger, letting her tongue trail and Zim blush. "Heh. Maybe I need to get to know this "butter" better. Heh. Maybe you and me both."
Zim blushed again and decided to ignore the remark. "Well...back to business..."
Tak got up and hesitantly sat back down in one of the chairs. Zim walked over to the side of the giant digital screen. "Computer! Run plankton sequence!"
The black and white static of snow filled the screen. It took a few hefty kicks from Zim for the movie to start up normally. On the screen was a creature that looked slightly like a deformed shrimp, only white as a sheet.
Tak munched unbuttered popcorn and asked between moutfulls, "What the heck is this."
"IT...is the pillar that keeps all life on Earth constant. The unkown, unresearched, PLANKTON!!" There were a few buzzing noises as the movie switched to viewing the innards of the plankton. "This...PLANK-TON is eaten by many sea creatures and giant behemouths deamed whales by the humans. Through this simple organism, I have devised a way to control ALL MAN KIND!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!'
Tak yawned.
"You see...I have created ROBOT PLANKTON!! And by releasing these mechanical demons and letting them be eaten by the giant whale monsters, I will take control over the huge mammals of blubber. And then...oh yes...the war against the WHALES AND HUMANS WILL BEGIN!! And in the end, when the species have destroyed each other, I, ZIM! will rise from the ashes to CLAIM THIS WORLD! MUAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!"
"Very amusing Zim. What exactly do these whale things look like, and why exactly are you telling me this?"
Zim clicked a button. Suddenlt clips of humpack whales creating giant waves, killer whales looking deadly, and bottle nosed dolphins eating fish filled the screen. A clip of JAWs eating various youngsters flashed, a dinosaur marched across a plain, and a T-rex eating a screaming human from Jurrasic Park 8: the revenge of the frogs. The video triumphantly ended with Godzilla spitting fire into the blood red sky and roaring a victory cry over what was the remains of New York City.
Tak drooled in the destruction. "You'd...you'll have control..over ALL OF THAT?"
Zim gleamed with pride.
Tak suddenly shook her head and replied, "No, no Zim. You're trying to give me this kind of access so I'll keep off your back right? Well, I've said it once, and I wont say it again. I don't want this rock."
"Wha? What was that? I wasn't listening."
Tak smacked her forehead. "Look Zim. I'm not after anything. I'm worthless back on Irk, as I'll be reassigned to janitorial duty if I ever go back. So I've decided to take some leave on Earth...just for kicks. Oh...and on second thought. I figure...maybe I'll keep you around afterall.
Zim stared at her and blinked a few times. "How about...possesed clowns? Will that keep you out of my hair?"
"You don't have hair, and no."
"Weasel demons?"
"No."
"A gnome army."
"no."
"hypnotics helmets."
"naw."
"Uh...a smelly teddy bear."
"NO! Wait, what was that last one?"
Zim writhed in frustration. Pounding himself on the head, the idea suddenly came to him.
"How about...completing the legendary Irken Tallness Ascent?"
"N...wha? You're...you're not serious are you?!?"
FINALLY! he thought. He had found a bargaining tool...perhaps it was a high price, but he'd pay anything to get Tak out of his way.
"Trust me Tak. I'm dead serious."
"You mean you've..."
"YES!! I, the AMAZING ZIM has cracked the mysterious legend, the evolutionary lapse, the secret....to tallness..."
Tak's mind raced through the possibility. Could it be? Was it possible? Her mind raced back to the legend...the myth...
According to Irken history, the original planet the Irkens ascended from was a planet called Spliff. Legends say that in the days of old, Irkens mightily grew to heights of an unimaginable seven feet. They were strong in not only mind, but physicaly too. Some of the most ludacris legends told of the myth that in those days, Irkens could actualy mate and bear young, unlike the pitiful way they are grown, spliced, and harvested today. They also lived lives triple in length of the average Irken if the present. Legends say they lived centuries like decades. This was Irken perfection, in both body and mind. But somehow, during the early rise of the exploration of space, the "Spliffians" were invaded themselves by a mysterious race of cosmic turtles wearing colourful masks with radical technology. To escape their impending doom, they fled their planet and plummeted the whole race blindly into the other side of the galaxy using an experimental warp drive in order to escape the blood thirsty turtle creatures who were strangely determined to wipe them out. The Spliffians found themselves in an unknown star system, but soon colonized the nearest planet that met living conditions. You know, nice living rooms, spacious bathrooms, that kind of sort. They named the planet which was empty of sentient life, "Irk", which means "new heaven/gift from God."
But something strange happened. Within four generations, the lifetime expectantsy slowly became lower. They were also radically decreasing in height. Eventualy, they found that they could no longer mate to bear offspring, and as some generations "matured", that they could not mate at all. Eventualy, to keep their race and legacy growing, they were forced to splice their genes to create offspring. Now, Irkens were grown like animals in cold test tubes. But it was their only way of survival, and their only connection to the perfect Spliffians of old.
This is why when out of nowhere the Tallest emerged, they were like gods to the Irkens. Their every wish was granted, leadership thrust forward, control of the vast and quickly growing Irken empire acquired. All because it seems as if they were prodigies...some kind of blip in the downward Irken genetic chain, granting them to be perfect. The only thing they lacked was the ability to mate, as both were males. And all attempts of experimental cloning or gene splicing failed, as the clones never followed the trait of the genetical fathers and were eventualy all killed in secret, just as they had come into the world.
And now, Zim claims to know the secret of the Tallness. He claims to know the most dire solution for the Irken race. He claims to know. Was he just simply insane? That idea was a big possibility, but how was it that Zim had grown so much taller then her over a series of six months when it was geneticaly impossible? HOW?
Tak's face seemed to be serious, yet playful at the same time."I'm listening...."
WHOA!! that was along chappy!! heheh. I know, I know. some scenes in this chapter just seem like excerpts from a bad lemon, don't they? Well, I was prolly going to turn this whole story into a lemon if it hadn't have been to the restrictions. oh well...whatcha gonna do? an i don think this is R material...but i'm afraid the next chapter might end up being if I'm not carefull....eek. if i change the rating...sorry! i dont intend anything too bad though...tune in nex time!!
