Clef gaped at the book and looked back at Ash, looking far off the end of the hall, trailing the route this "Mithrandir" went on and disappeared, with her own eyes. Cliff grabed the book, pushing its heavy weight up her arms, gaping at Ash, still staring at the end of the hall.
"Ash," she muttered. "Don't you think we're wanted back in-" Ash raised an impatient hand and pointed at a nearing footsteps. "He's coming back."
"Must have forgot something," Clef reasoned out, till she noticed a puzzled look on Ash's face. "What is it? Cat got your tounge-" Ash snorted and gave her a Look. "Who's that *Mithrandir, anyway?" (A/N: Mithrandir is Gandalf's elvish name right? I read Legolas using it in the Two Towers.)
She looked… ridiculous. Obviously, Ash hasn't been reading the original books. Clef rolled her eyes, raised the book above her head, about to hit her on the head – when the footsteps came nearer. Now, its REALLY the principal. Not wearing a dress. But a menacing scowl. "Kennedy! McCraig! FOR THE MILLIONTH TRLIONTH TIME-"
"Oops. Clef, I don't think we are wanted here…" They both try to sneak back into the classroom, when both their collars where stuck under the Principal's meaty hands. THIS TIME, they're getting more that detention. "YOU!" points a trembling hand at Ash. "THE BOTH OF YOU!" (duh, yeah. I know. Ash wears a maniac grin about to laugh at the Principal's grammar. The Big Lego-Man is known for that.) "Uh, the OTHER is right here!" muttered Clef waving around, trying to regain balance because the books seems to be ten times heavier the girl, her age. "Yeah, yeah, THE BOTH OF YOU! I WANT TO SEE THE TWO OF YOU ON MY OFFICE TOMORROW, RIGHT NOW!" the Big Man blurted it all out. But all the two pesky kids could muster is a deafining "Huh?!" with crickets chirping in the background.
"Someone REALLY needs an ENGLISH teacher…" Ash muttered as Clef nudged her with the large book, pointing at a pulsating vein appearing on the Principal's forehead. "Ooooh, someone needs a doctor…" Ash gasped at Clef, signaling her madly to run. "No," Clef said softly, getting on tippy-toes trying to balance the book in one arm, "SOMEONES going to need a HOSPITAL after one-million hours of detention-"
"AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!" Big Man Lego turned into a supernova. Poor Ash and Clef choked on the nebula.
The next events were too frightful to write. Like facing a bull like an entoreroin an enourmous stadium full of friggin' gladiators. It's like getting ripped to death. With endless stinking grammar. Well, poor old Ash and Cliff missed English class (at least NO MORE of Gaffer's old takes), but they get stuck with the Man-Who Knew-English-Too-Little. ("Why did he ever become a Principal when he can't even speak English properly?" hushed Cliff who was trying to stuck nibbles in her ear after that stupid lecture full of flying grammar typos.) Yup, in some how more like a detention cell. Well, it's an empty classroom of course.
Well, Ash wasn't too happy because her beloved laptop was seized from her, and her fanfiction, titled "A Million Ways Why Ringbearers Should Choke on a Ring" needs pending. (Yeah, like mine!) Well, sooner or later he returned it to her gruntling, coz he can't surf playboy.com. Of all the coolest people who own a laptop, Ash's macbook got a plastered Nanny Check. (A/N: You know! Barrier for obsceneties? Some Internet software that can't get kindergarteners to see deadening porn websites?) While Clef was stuck to the heavy book, not knowing if it is part LOTR or not (even if it sounds so), was trying to pry the metal lock open. Okay, so grab that hairpin. Ooops. You're gonna need a new one at Macy's.
"Damn lock!" Clef mutters as she grabs a hammer out of nowhere and starts hammering the lock. "Open up you crazy piece of molten wax! I need my reading report!!!" (BANG BANG BANG on the poor, old book) Clef rolled her eyes and threw the hammer away (which hit Man-Who Knew-English-Too-Little- who is sleeping, on the forehead without waking him. No need for more teacher-catastrophies. Where are those damn hobbits?!) and screamed at Ash crawled on the floor, drooling on her laptop which she just got back – without a scratch. "Hey, I need some help here! That reading report due's a month from now! Hey!"
Ash was sadistically caressing her laptop, with a maniac look on her face. "Ooh, my toootsie, wootsie wooo… come to mammmah!!!" Man, do baby talk make you sick. Then she gets up and looks at Clef with a non-plussed look, drool still dripping from her mouth. "Oh, yeah. And if this doesn't work, lets sell that antique in E-bay."
Luckily, Clef was able to pry it open without Ash getting any extra drool material on it. Clef notices something weird, she flips the pages but they were all blank and empty. "That…. That Mithrandir is a fraud! This is a stupid pile of freakin-"
Clef was cut short when a girl was dragged into the room by two security-students who seemed to be totally worn out. Gues who the new detainee is- Shea Sandman! The little "teacher's pet" twerp! One of the security-students spotted Clef and walked over to her, a black eye on her face. "Beware that little b*tch. She tried to strangle Ian McKellen after he didn't want to give private information about Billy Boyd's audition. A wear-out isn't she?" The two students limped out of the room leaving Shea looking like a wild tiger trampled on by a million oliphaunts. (A/N: Yeah! Yeah! I know! Read the "Two Towers!" You'll find oliphaunts there!) But hey, still ferocious.
"Tsk, tsk. That's what you get when you chase weird midget men with disgusting curly hair that reaches their toes-" Cliff had to slam the book on Ash's head to shut her up again. Luckily, Shea didn't notice this because she had fainted, "Must have seen someone and freaked out – " Clef exchanges glances with Ash and nods. "Yeah, Elijah Wood, I reckon." Ash jaw dropped. "That FRUIT came here! Then I should have had my piano wire ready-" Ash hissed, shutting her laptop (still dressed in drool) closed. "Whats the piano wire for? Play Elijah a scary song by twanging the wire so his eardrums could explode?" Clef suggested. "Got any common sense? He's gonna need duct tape." Ash muttered, glaring at Shea.
Somehow, Clef was busy with something else. "Hey… This book isn't as empty as it seems… Ashley!" Clef points to a poem writing itself on its own, appearing as they speak. It read:
Three Elven rings for the one who would be King
Seven for some Dwarfs, who knew that there was a thing?!
Nine for a Child doomed to die and One
One for a Dark Lord on his Matted Throne
In the Land Of Mordor Where the Pigs eat
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find it,
One Ring to rule them all, and in the darkness bind It
In the Land Of Mordor where the Child will cheat.
"I thought it was supposed to be the One Ring –" Ash muttered till Cliff gave her a Look. "Oh, a new story. But how is that – child?" Suddenly, some guy's head with pointed ears popped out of the book. "AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!" both kids screamed. (Man-Who-Knew-English-Too-Little and Shea didn't wake up, probably too much ear wax.)
"Elrond!" Clef and Ash sighed. "Whats the head for?!" Elrond's head started to bob. He spoke, "Take a red pill or a blue pill. Each may lead you to a different path, but your mission will be done." He pouts and spits out two orb like candies, one blue and one red. No drool. "Eeeew, " both kids said. "Hey, Elronnie, " interrupted Ash. "Do you have mint?" Elrond rolled his eyes and sank back into the book. A big blurry light which came from the Elf's head disappeared.
"Wonder why he was quoting from the 'Matrix'. Maybe we'll meet up with some agenst and wake up in gelatin," said Cliff in a maniac monotonous voice. "Quit it. Lets just take our medication and get on with it to Middle Earth. There's only two. Might as well we take both of them. What d'you think? I'll take the red."
Clef felt uneasy. It seemed dangerous for Ash to take the pill, like what was supposed to happen in the "Matrix" if Neo took the pill. (A/N: Tell me you know who Neo is. Please.) But she'll get into trouble too if she takes it… "Fine, I'll take the blue. Got any liquid there to wash it down?"
Ash looks around to see if Man-Who-Knew-English-Too-Little was awake and takes out an Orange soda. "Uhmm, I do, I do, I do, ooohhh!" she said, caressing it. "Get on with it!" Clef hissed. "Ok, on my count." said Ash. "No, my count." Said Clef. "No! My-" Shea started stirring. "Ok! On anyone's count before the Queen of Mordor gets us! Ok, ready Clef?" hissed Ash, the red pill on her palm. "Anytime you are, Ashley." Clef winked.
"Okay,…" they began to count together. "ONE…TWO…THREE…" Shea started rubbing her eyes, muttering something about Frodo. "NOW!" Both placed the pills on their tounges and took in a deep splash of orange soda. That moment, it felt nothing, but then, Ash's pupils were turning red, turning into a swirly deep beam of red, engulfing her lenses as she felt the earth drop beneath her. Clef's pupils were turning into a deep swirl of blue, swallowing her pupils as she felt like disintegrating, the taste of Orange soda still on her the tip of her tounge. "Well, see ya' in Middle Earth, " Ash muttered last minute. It felt like StarWars's lightspeed as the Man-Who-Knew-English-Too-Little with his little detainee's room with Shea in it shrank, engulfing the two glowing in separate blue and red light in darkness. "I hope-" Clef muttered.
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! GEROONIIMOOOO!!!!"
"Heeeeeyyy!!!" Ash screamed out as a black hole compression seemed to suck her and Clef. "I forgooooot my laptoooooopppppp!!! Arrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Dammn iiiiiitt!!!"
