Chapter 3: Hill On A Wheel Barrow

There is a big party going on in the Shire. Here, Gandalf the Grey, yeah, your most favorite wizard, along with nasty Saruman, came ot visit a particular Hobbit named Bilbo Baggins of Bag End. The party took place at night, where Gandalf planned to show off some new fireworks of his. Just when the party was getting started, all those small midgets were just getting on with the music, and a bunch of hobbit-children were badgering Gandalf about his fireworks, the old wizard decided to scare the nasty little children off with a bunch of scary yellow, burning butterflies. Well, his plan backfired.

Just then, amidst all the firework, something plummeted out of the sky and landed on a poor little hobbit dancing the nasty "Funky Chicken" (and the little bugger sure looked like an idiot), startling it. Well, it just ain't any other Unidentified Floating Object from another dimension, it's the blue-eyed, tall human child who swallowed the pill in her classroom, and got sucked in a Black Hole, dropping her into the Shire. Cliff has come to Middle Earth. (Author: One down!)

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HAIRY FEEEEEETT!!! UUUUGGGGHHHHH-"

The poor kid fainted. The little hobbit was flabber-gasted, since it was natural for hobbits to have big toes, big feet, with permed curly hair plastered on it. But imagine that, after a rollercoaster ride in the darkness, and all you can see is swirls of red and blue engulfing your body, the next thing you see after you totally hurled in outerspace, is a pair of HAIRY FEET THAT IS PERFECTLY PERMED. Don't you think you're going to hurl again?

"Hey, Gandalf! Uncle Bilbo! Help, a poor kid got scared of my feet and passed out!" screamed a little voice, which is the last thing Cliff heard before dropping into unconsciousness. Just when she had thought that she had this perfect dream with our fair Leggy in it, murmuring "Mom, wake me up later, when the teletubbies are on," someone forced a nasty horrible liquid down her throat, making her cough and sputter. Then, her eyes began to clear and the first thing she sees, is big, wide, creepy blue eyes staring back at her.

"AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!" (Twilight zone music playing in the background.) "WHO THE HELL IS PLAYING WITH THE ZOOMING BUTTON?!!" said Cliff backing off from the bed. The small hobbit she bumped on earlier gave a small "Eeeep!" and ran behind a gray-cloaked figure, which Cliff vaguely remembers. "Relax, Frodo, the poor child had a total shock," said the tall figure. Cliff gaped. The small, creepy blue-eyed hobbit – was Frodo Baggins?!! She felt her body shrink more under the covers. Is this true? Or am I having some kind of – nightmare?  "Wake up Clefe," she muttered, hammering her head, sideways. "This isn't a Twilight Zone segment…"

"Well, well, well," started the tall grey, wizened man, who hovered over Cliff's bed like an enormous Star Wars cruiser. "We meet again, young Clefe. Am I happy to see you arrive in Hobbiton safe and sound." Cliff flincked. So did Frodo. "Clefe? Gandalf, you mean the child Clefe you were talking about? The Unexpected Guest?" Frodo started. "Mithrandir?" she mumbled, then held her head. "You! The one who gave me the blank book… where am I? Where is Ashley? How am I going to get home… I can't believe I am missing detention…" she rambled on, making Frodo hide further into Gandalf's cloak.

"Yes, yes, speaking about the book," Gandalf took out an identical book Cliff left in Man-Who-Knew-English-Too-Little's detainee's cell. "Here it is, assuming that you don't have the portal one." A thick, identical molten metal-bounded book, along with ink and quill was handed to Cliff, still a hundred years heavier. Cliff smoothed the cover and saw identical words, THE FELLOWSHIP and THE WAR FOR THE RING. "Portal one?!!" she mustered. Then they suddenly heard a commotion outside, where the party was still proceeding. "I must be missing Bilbo's speech!" Frodo said suddenly that he rushed to the door and went out to the party. Cliff went round to look at Gandalf who can only shrug.

"Mithrandir, Gandalf," she sighed. "The man with many names, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?" Gandalf silently leaned on a rocking chair and puffed silently on his pipe. "I was hoping you could answer that question," the wizard mustered as the crowd cheered outside. "I have been watching you and your company a long time now, and I believe it is time that I fulfill your own dreams for yourselves," he said, taking more weed, stuffing it down his pipe. "Conclusion is, Welcome To Middle-Earth." More cheering was heard outside.

Cliff turned to face the window, where she can see the party beyond. "Bilbo isn't staying long isn't he…" she mustered, and all that could answer her is Gandalf's endless puffing. "If I am here, where is my company? And I would be more determined to go back…" she looked down the book, which was wide open and saw words forming, printing, each by each, as the scene pursued. Gandalf couldn't answer the child's words as they listened to the tremor the crowds created as they cheered for Bilbo's speech… Gandalf wasn't so sure about the circumstances…And then the Child said, "If I am here, where is my company?… And I would be more determined to go back…" She didn't know what was in store for the minutes passing… as the crowed jeered some more as Bilbo offered in the closing words.

"Circumstances?!!" Cliff said out. "Gandalf,"she rounded on Gandalf, rising from the bed. "What circumstances? Tell me, what is in store…" A commotion rounded out in the party, as terrible silence dinned from the outside. Silent footsteps wnet towards the house as Gandalf and Clefe both looked at the door. "He's here." Cliff said simply.

The door burst open, stood open in a few minutes, then slammed itself closed. "It's Bilbo, Gandalf… I swear…" Cliff hissed as Gandalf raised a hand to keep her quiet. A soft chuckle was sounded and Bilbo did appear, hapilly flipping and admiring a golden ring. He placed it in his pocket, grabbed a walking stick and walked right into Gandalf and Cliff staring at him. "What?!" the little hobbit said in surprise. "It's just a bit of fun!"

Gandalf gave Cliff a knowing look. "You see my dear child," he said softly as Bilbo went on about ranting about people who don't appreciate magic rings. "You know something. And that my child, is why I called you here."