THE WORLD ACCORDING TO ME By Sam Danaher

Love…

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Love, exactly what is it? We all hope for it, we all search for it, but do we ever really find it?  My best friend is in love, it's nice to see.  I wonder if I will ever be as goofy and giggly.  I wonder if I will ever find love. 

We are in the season of love, it starts right after Thanksgiving and continues to the mother of all love holidays; Valentines.  You can't walk into a store without seeing a cute bear or red heart.  It looks as if Cupid threw up.  Don't get me wrong, I love Valentine's; what other day makes the sanest person act like a total nut. 

Hotels and restaurants thrive on Valentines, what other day can they get away with overcharging in the name of love.  I say we take a cue from the Supremes and STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE.  I am not talking about broken hearts here, that's the last thing I would want.  Love makes the world go round, it makes you dizzy, it makes you laugh, and it makes you cry.  Without it, life would be pretty boring. 

It's that true love thing that gets me.  What is true love?  What is the difference between love and true love? Are we just faking it until true love comes along?  I think we need to stop and think about this.  What does true love mean?  I am very curious about this, as you know I loved my dad.  I will never love anyone the way I loved him. So can we consider that true love?  And my boyfriend when I was 17, I loved him.  Why wasn't that true love? I'll tell you why, because we called it first love.  Which of course means there will be a last love, but what if that first love turns out to be your last love?  Does that make it true love?

Love always leads to another word, relationships.  Now that to me is the scariest word in the English language.  Say it with me, relationships.  Why does such a simple word have so many meanings?

I have a relationship with my editor; I have a relationship with my best friend.  I have relationships with a lot of people.  But when I use that word in respect to a man, it takes on a whole new meaning. Why is that?  And heaven forbid I should ever use the phrase, 'It's just a physical relationship' or the 'no relationship, relationship' as I like to call it. Talk about taboo.  People shun you.  They actually pity you.  You try to explain that you get all of the perks, but they don't see it that way.  Once I had a friend tell me it was a crutch.  As long as you have this crutch, you will never look for or find true love. There we go again, back to true love. Those two little words that make you wonder what it's all about. 

Is there something to be said for the 'no relationship, relationship'?  No strings attached, no wondering if he is going to call and knowing there won't be a scene if you decide to leave and enter into another no relationship, relationship.  You can also have more than one crutch; remember with a broken leg, it's easier to maneuver with two crutches.  Wouldn't it be the same for a broken heart?

I'm not saying this is for everyone, but it does take the pressure off. I wonder if having a crutch really does keep you from finding true love. Do I want more? Do any of us want more? Who knows?   

What to do? Forget about the crutch, stand on your own two feet and search for that crazy little thing called love? Do you keep the crutch and hope it turns into true love or hope you happen to stumble upon it?

What ever you decide to do this Valentine's Day, I wish you all true love, whatever that is.

As always, when you see a member of the military, active or retired, thank them. They are the reason for your freedom.

Sam sent the column to her editor and sat staring at her screen thinking.  Webb was her crutch. She then jumped up, he was going to read this. She grabbed her phone and called Charles.

"Chuck, it's Sam." Sam said.

"I just finished reading your column." Charles replied. "I love it."

"Really? I thought you would think a bit on living the high life in Georgetown would be boring." Sam said.

"Georgetown? What are you talking about?" Charles asked.

"My column," Sam replied. "The one you just read."

"Are you ok kid?" Charles asked. "You sent me a column on love."

"I did? I must have attached the wrong file." Sam stated. "Let me send you the right one that was just a writing exercise."

"Forget the other one, this is good stuff." Charles said.

"Chuck, you can't print that." Sam said.

"Why not?" Charles asked. "Sam, what's going on?"

"Nothing," Sam stated.

"The part about the crutch was interesting." Charles said.

"Thanks." Sam said realizing she wasn't going to change his mind.

"Sam, who's your crutch?" Charles asked.

"My what?" Sam replied.

"I got the impression you have a crutch, who is it?" Charles asked.

"Chuck, get real. I don't have time to pee, let alone have a crutch." Sam laughed it off.

"Maybe you should get yourself a crutch." Charles mused.

"Thanks for the advice Chucky.  Good words coming from a man who's been married since the Civil War." Sam snapped.

"I'm just looking out for you. Maybe a little crutch wouldn't hurt." Charles said.

"Bye," Sam said and then made a final effort, "Are you sure you don't want to see the Georgetown piece?"

"I already sent this one down to the press." Charles said. "Hey, when was the last time you went out?"

"I don't know." Sam said.

"Go out tomorrow night, it's Valentines, maybe Cupid will shoot you in the ass." Charles laughed.

"Thanks Chuck, you know what rhymes with Chuck don't you." Sam smirked.

"Careful young lady," Charles warned in a fatherly tone.

"I'll talk to you later." Sam laughed and hung up.

Sam knew she was in trouble.  Even before they met, Webb said he read her column.  He was going to see this and be insulted; if Charles picked up that she had a crutch, Webb would definitely pick up on it.  What got into me? Why did I write that?

There was nothing she could do but wait, if he reacted as she thought, she wouldn't have to worry about a crutch holding her back.  She looked at the clock, in 12 hours her column would be hitting the stands. Does Dave Barry have these problems? She wondered.