A/N: Oookay! "Many Resolutions" is already here!!! Sorry to keep you guys waiting!!! And I apologize, Zeph, if it's pretty late… I promise to upload more chapters starting Monday… here's one!!! And Zeph… the plan is already in action!!!
Chapter 14: Many ResolutionsCleff stared angrily at the morning sunlight, obviously straining, for she doesn't have any keen elven eyes, such as Elrond's or Arwen's. Somehow, the day before was a strain to her, having to have chased Shea almost all around the whole Rivendell, threatening her with the ALMIGHTY PAN – oh, nevermind ; having to swerve in front of Frodo, Merry and Pippin (reunited, having the mushy scene on one of Rivendell's balconies) who were about to be attacked by a drooling Shea and having to pry Sam out of Shea's blasted grips, when the poor little hobbit burst into tears and naturally attracted the magnet. That night, she had to collapse on a bench next to an incredible Gandalf who started to reprimand her of her stress and health… It is not wise to control everything withing your reach, young Cliffhanger… the old Istari's voice echoed in her head. After all, there are more things than legends to be capable of… like your own health… take your rest Cleff, it is not wise to be brewing around everyone else's businesses…
"Yeah right," Cleff shook a fist at the disembodied voice of Gandalf ringing in her mind. "Like health when a nutcase is about to turn Middle Earth upside down in ruins…" And she meant Shea. Speaking about Shea… Cleff quickly spun around to hear a "un"-melodious voice suddenly surrounding Rivendell with a nasty song… And poor Cleff can hear it right from her own balcony!
"Not that song again," Cleff growled, as she grabbed a baseball bat out of nowhere, and stormed out towards the elven hall.
~ ~ ~
You're a song
Written by the hands of GodDon't get me wrong
This might sound to you a bit odd
Shea sang longingly, looking out of the balcony, combing her long golden locks, looking like a pretty little elven princess, waiting to be rescued by her elven prince… Out her mouth, came a melodious voice, one of which we agree that she really has… despite her incapablilites and her mary-sueness…
But you're the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
Right under your clothesIs where I'll find them
Of all the nastiness… She smiled and smiled down the balcony below… where someone is looking up, holding a thick book… smiling back at her with those pure blue eyes… Shea would love to brush away those dark curls falling on his forehead… even if she is ten stories high from him… And then she sings the song that declares her entire love for him…
Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And of all the things
I deserve –
Suddenly… her voice cracked, as she looked back down on him in total confusion… He looked back up at her in all sweetness, urging her to go on… but seems like Shea couldn't… "What was the next line to that song?" she suddenly blurted out.
All of a sudden, her door burst open, and an angry looking, blue eyed girl, hands sweating over a thick piece of a wooden baseball bat (?!!), crossed her arms and glared back at Shea.
For being such a good girl, YOU NEVER was, honey!
Shea, in all shock, spun around to face her, dropping her silver comb. The young hobbit, who was looking up at her adoringly, was suddenly started by an old man's call ("Frodo!!! Frodo!!! Where have you been?!! Who is that girl, don't tell me-") and was quickly dragged out of sight by a non-plussed and puzzled Bilbo Baggins.
Shea's eyes began to water, as Frodo disappeared from her sight. Failing to notice company in her room, she hurls herself in front of her elven mirror, and starts sobbing dramatically, obviously, quoting Shakespeare-like, venting heartbreak and despair… if that ever existed. "Oh sweet heavens! Why take thy soul away from thee? Why break a heart so delicate and light… capable of delicate…" she pauses in mind-sentence. "Delicate… delicate…"
A harsh voice behind her "Tsked" its way off and mustered, "Once the top of our English class, now nothing but a One Liner." She spun around and saw Cleff, angrily threatening her with a baseball bat. "Don't make me see you flirting with our Ringbearer again, wenchie." Cleff said firmly.
Shea began to sob and wail, screaming, "How could you stop a heart from falling in love? How could you prevent a Queen from finding her King? How dare you keep this heart from shattering-" Yes I know you would want to dive into your cupboard to grab a goodie-barf-bag this moment. To no avail, unnoticed, the baseball bat suddenly flew from Cleff's hands, shattering the huge elven mirror behind Shea, startling her.
"Oh, before you retort again about 'shattering', theres a token for you dear Shea," Cleff mustered with a snicker. "Seven years bad luck, dearie."
Shea's eyes turned red, and shoved Cleff out into the hall, screaming her final words. "Imprudent Cliffhangers! Never knew the meaning of love, never shall they conquer the love of the book! Insensitive! I wish you never had a heart to beat on!!!" And with it, Shea slams the door on Cleff's shocked expression. Then the door opens again, and from it flies the battered baseball bat Cleff aimed at Shea's mirror, flying back right at her.
Cleff stood there, shocked, about to beat Shea's wooden door to bits with her ALMIGHTY baseball bat… muttering to herself… Fall in love?!! The idiotic… Then she notices, three small figures hiding behind a planter, peering up at her with great, scared, curious eyes… There stood Sam, Merry and Pippin, eyeing her as if she created a phenomenon.
"WhaaaaaaaT?!!" Cleff said, a matter-of-factly, as the hobbits just shrugged, in complete state of shock. "C'mon," Cleff just sighed. "We've got work to do."
~ ~ ~
Early evening, and Cleff has done too much, she just wanted to collapse in her sweet, little elven bed. So much for dragging a non-stop chattering Pippin to peep on Elrond and Gandalf's serious conversation… Cleff remembers that Shea isn't the only menace she has to deal with here in Middle-Earth… there is still Sauron and the forces of Mordor and Isengard combined…
"So you tell me Saruman the White has betrayed us, our list of allies grows thin," says Elrond. Gandalf sighed, fingered his pipe and said, "Saruman is breeding an army of orcs and goblins, he is coming for the Ring…" Elrond went firm and said flatly, "Gandalf, the Ring cannot stay here."
The conversation, still swerving in Cleff's mind, heard loud and clear, while hiding behind the door, clamping her hand on Pippin's mouth. Despite the preferences… Rivendell does not stand a chance against the forces of Orcs. Elrond was right… the Ring cannot stay here…
Cleff leaned over the elven balcony, across the hall, totally straining her brain, her forehead knotting. But where will we take the Ring? She grasped the wooden barricades of the balcony, peering at the elven heights and nature, quietly being draped with the soft sunset… as a soft shade of blue suddenly drapes down her surrounding. Poor Frodo, she thought bitterly. Just when he thought it would be safe to leave Rivendell and head for the Shire… it is to be realized that the Ring still holds a more dangerous task for him… Then Cleff frowns, thinking. Especially when a nasty mary-sue is hogging his tracks… argh…
Cleff sank down a pillar, and sat down, leaning on it, as she took a heavy bag slung over a wooden chair… and took out the Book from it. (If you have noticed, it was last seen on Elrond's bedside, when Frodo woke up, having Elrond read the book a bit to catch up with the Cliffhanger's point of view, he returned it to the sack, handing it over to Cleff again) She flipped through the pages… which started to get filled up… and the more it gets filled up… the more Cleff realizes that it starts to get lighter…
Then Cleff stops on a page, where new words are starting to materialize… noticing a note in bold letters, which made Cleff panic.
IT IS UPON HIGH DECISION AND FATE, NOT TO CHANGE THE DESTINY OF A RINGBEARER…
NEVER TO KNOW LOVE, NEVER TO KNOW ANGER, NEVER TO GIVE IN CORRUPTION, AND UPON PEACE HE SHALL CONQUER…
"I wonder why the Star Wars Episode II tagline is flashing here," Cleff thought in deep curiosity, obviously sensing cliché. "What is this… is Frodo to become a Jedi Knight?" (Oh, laugh all you want, if you can. *wink*) Cleff shook her head, and shut the book. "Not in Tolkien's world."
But somehow, the idea did sink in Cleff's thick numbskull, that was defunct for days… I should prevent Frodo from falling for Shea, for this might disturb the whole book, if that is reasonable. Cleff then nodded to herself, and fingered the beautiful elven outlines, that framed the thick brown book. That is reasonable. The night has fallen, and while Cleff fingers and adores the elven characters on the book, her head begans to bob, and her eyelids start to fall. After all, she didn't have sleep for a few nights or so. She has turned so much into a fatigued Ranger… just like Strider…
Strider… "Men? Men are weak…" Elrond's words from his secret conversation with Gandalf began to clear in Cleff's head again.
"The force of Men has failed, the line of Kings has been broken, I was there when this all should have ended… if only Isildur has destroyed the Ring…" Gandalf shook his head and said, "There one other who could unite them and reclaim the throne of Gondor." Elrond shook his head, helplessly. "There is one, but he has chosen exile…"
Cleff's eyes suddenly shot open. Strider! He's no mere ranger… he's the heir of Isildur!!! But far too late for her to realize… Cleff just sat up, placed the book back in its sack, and held her knees, clucking her tounge to herself. Middle Earth has a chance… her voice in her head spoke… But let the span of time do the work for now… Her eyes began to flutter, as she began to sink into unconsiousness… till…
Another nasty song began to play in her head. No wait! That isn't playing in her head! Its…
"Master Cleeeeeeff!!!" a voice startled her awake. Cleff jumped to her feet and surveyed the darkness. Samwise skidded into view, followed closely by Merry and Pippin. "You wouldn't believe this," Sam started, panting. "Wouldn't belive what? What happened?!" Cleff demanded, as the nasty song began to play louder… making her realize that it isn't her out-of-control imagination anymore!
"Frodo and Shea!" Sam whimpered. Pippin gave a small eek and ran off, leaving a whimpering Sam, and a reluctant Merry tugging quick at Cleff's hands. "We got to save him, quick! Before…" Merry gulps. "The worst of things happen!"
Cleff nods, and shakes herself awake. "You're right," she mutters, as she strides down the hallway, Merry and Sam catching up to her long paces. "Where are they?!" Merry started to turn pale. "Th-that I do not know…" he stuttered, as Cleff turned red, grabbed Merry on the scruffs on his shirt, and started shaking him like crazy. "WHERE ARE THEY?!!!!!" Cleff starting screaming loudly, almost filling Merry with spit… when Sam had to silence her with a whack on the head with his… you know. ALMIGHTY – fill in the blanks. *grin*
"We do not have much time!!!" Sam exclaimed, panting, as swirly black and white bits began to fill Cleff' eyes. "We must find them by tracking down that dreadful lyre!!!" Cleff shook herself conscious, trying to beat the dangerous venom of Sam's ALMIGHTY –c'mon, fill in the blanks. "Not that," winces, as she and Merry stick their fingers in their ears. "SONG!!!"
"We have no choice!!!" Samwise screamed amidst the dreadful song, with voices only identifiable as Frodo and Shea's!!! Cleff got up, brushed dust off her sleeves, and dragged Merry up too. "Get all your lousy unfinished lembas, fruits and bits of food or any kind of dirt you find in your pockets!" With that, Merry and Sam took off their jackets… which sank into the floor… obviously filled with… ehem… foreign stuff…
"Maybe… we have to track that song down first…" Cleff winced, trying to peer deeper into the darkness, finding her way towards the two "lovers" (and hope they never WILL BE), so that she can destroy the affair before a disastrous Middle-Earth, Lord Of The Rings apocalypse. Then somehow… as Cliffhanger, Cleff knows the way! "To the West Bank, by the balcony!!!" she gestured to the hobbits, following her closely, afraid of creeping shadows (of themselves) in the darkness…
"Boys, we've got a Un-Matchmaking Job to do!!!"
~ ~ ~
I know I stand in line, until you think
You have the time to spend an evening with me
Frodo sang softly, unbelieving the voice coming out of his mouth. But at least the song is for the girl of his dreams… and at least it is Shea… and I know you are dying to get out of this page… hang on tight… this won't be long…
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that, there's a chance you won't be leaving with me
"Why haven't I noticed you before? The day you took me in your arms in The Prancing Pony… I fought my way out just to escape you… but I didn't know it was you…" He thought sobernly, as he sang the lines from his heart… looking up her face, framed by beautiful golden curls lit by the moonlight… (A/N: Gag, gag, choke, choke… I know!!! I myself, am dying here too!!! Wait!!!) Then, to his great delight, and to the flutter of his little heart (A/N: I CAN'T BELIEVE THE HELL I AM WRITING THIS!!!), she also opened her mouth and started to sing…
And then I go, and spoil it all
By saying something stupid, like "I love you"
Shea was mighty thinking good of herself… this was the best night ever, hapilly accomplishing to sneak out of the nasty eagle eyes of Cleff and the other hobbits… And take Frodo along with her… and to notice how sweet he is… Her voice didn't croak… and that was what Shea was happy about… what she sure wouldn't like was when suddenly… a nasty piece of a dried apple went past soaring her face…
"There they are!!!" Merry cried angrily, as he quickly popped out from beneath the highest railing, aiming a rotten old piece of bread at Frodo's head… using an old sling shot. "Snap out of it, Mister Frodo!!!" Sam screamed, as he pelted the two out of reach with dozens and dozens of apples. "Master Cleff?!!" Sam and Merry looked at each other and whispered in unison. "Where is she?!!"
~ ~ ~
Cleff has tracked down the voices… and of sweet sickness… she can't believe that Shea was able to teach her "sweet, old Frodo", the lyrics of Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman's "Something Stupid"! Pure mush!!! And too much mush can kill a whole population you know… Cleff climbed onto a higher balcony, staring in complete shock at a "romantic" Frodo and Shea in a spotlight in the middle of bridge by a small creek in a garden in the House of Rivendell… She can see Merry and Sam pelting all they can (apples, lembas, dry lembas, old lembas, musty lembas, wet lembas, old lembas past expiration date, candies, dried fruits, lollipops, chupachups, cherry condoms – Merry's fault!!!, old stupid piece of Fox candy… etc.), but since the hobbits can't aim well, the pelting does not do damage to the "romantic duo" at all…
"Merry!!! Sam!!! Do something!!! Send a piece up here, or two!!!" Cleff screamed, as she dug an eraser deep down in her pockets, and drew out her famous Slinger2002™, aiming the kneaded eraser at Shea's enormous head, but hitting to no avail. "Jeez! Less aim!!!" Cleff cursed, as she jumped up and down. "FRODO!!! Please!!! Snap out of it!!! She is A MENACE TO SOCIETY!!!"
"I didn't know Frodo can sing…" Merry muttered… then he was vicously whacked by the ALMIGHTY PAN – whatever, by Sam who quickly points up to Cleff who is standing in a higher and wider balcony, with a more less narrow hall. "The one where Master Cleff is seems like a good view…" Sam suggested, as Merry just nodded obediently, rubbing his head. "Up we go then!!!"
~ ~ ~
I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the
same old lines you heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true and never seemed so right
before!
Frodo and Shea started to move closer to each other… COMPLETELY IGNORING the pelting racket occurring between Cleff, Merry, and Sam stories up high! Cleff's eyes began to grow wider, as the song began to beat the crap out of her… as two cherry lips are about to move together… (AACK!!! HELP!!! ANYONE HELP CLEFF!!! PLEASE!!!) Cleff has lost control, about to hurl herself down the balcony to tear the star-struck lovers apart! "Anyone please!!! FRODO PLEASE SNAP OUT OF IT!!! THAT LOVE ISN'T REAL!!!"
Terror has struck. Frodo looked up at Cleff with this nasty pair (TIS NASTY!!!) of watery blue eyes, and shook his head up at her, as Shea began to envelope him in a warm embrace… (!!!) Cleff lost hope of trying to save the Ringbearer… the destiny of the One Ring… and the future of Middle Earth… stumbled back… shaking her head in complete retort… as her eyes turned red… as she decided to proceed on her suicidal mission to jump off the balcony, and down 10 feet to tear Shea apart from Frodo… when a horror struck Merry and Sam pulled her back to her feet, pointing to another lurking danger… a shadow, pulling out about three venomous black arrow… aiming it on a crossbow… about to spell doom to Shea and Frodo…
Cleff was estatic… she could tell the black cloak ghetto… and the archer flare from somewhere… back by the peak of Isengard… "NO ASH, DON'T!!!!!!!!!" Cleff couldn't stop herself… she tore herself from Merry and Sam's grip… but the dark archer has released the arrows…
Shea and Frodo looked up to see about three arrows aimed at them… they tried to protect each other… but the three arrows burst into a puff of dark smoke… putting the two unconscious down the garden…
Cleff glared up in horror… no need for words to be spoken… as she finally drew her sword, to attack the dark figure approaching them, about to step up in the light to show its evil self… Cleff was ready to confront Ash… the game wasn't to kill the Ringbearer… and death isn't fair… "HALT YOU TRAITOR!!!" Cleff bellowed, as Merry and Sam gasped… as a masculine small figure, dressed in elven fashion, approached the light to face Cleff… face hidden beneath a dark mask…
"YOU KILLED THE ONLY WITNESS OF THE ONE RING OF POWER IN THE SHIRE… EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO THE CLIFFHANGER…" Cleff said in a firm strong voice, enough to startle Merry and Sam. The masked figure stood in shock for a moment… and dropped the dark, threatening crossbow… and the arrows… which erupted into puffs of smoke… The smoke cleared… as Cleff wiped dust away from her face… staring back at the archer in compleyte surprise… since she didn't fall unconscious, like Frodo and Shea did…
"Distraction Arrows?!! They couldn't kill… Where did you get…" The masked figure moved closer to Cleff as the Cliffhanger quickly drew her sword, stepping back. "I didn't allow you to approach me." Cleff tried to peer into the dark mask. "Reveal yourself." Merry and Sam, who were both hiding behind Cleff's brown cloak exchanged nervous glances… as they looked back up at the masked intruder.
Two dark gloved hands… moved up the cloak, and unclasped a clip, making the hood fall back down from the figure's head. Another clasp is removed, clasp by clasp… as the black faceless mask fell off and landed on the floor with a CLUNK!, much to which Cleff and the hobbits stood in shock… staring at a young girl… about Cleff's age and height, with a fair face, jet-black silky short hair… and a magnificent pair of dark violet eyes, peering up greatfully at Cleff. "Seriously… OLD SPORT, can't you tell the difference if I am ASH or not?!! Definitely, I am not a traitor…"
Cleff gaped at the girl… and dropped her sword… This was the girl who won in the Archery Competition Level against Ash, back in 2nd Grade; then this girl became Ash and Clefe's best friend for all of the years that passed, till this student had to leave to transfer schools when 7th grade approached… An old friend Cleff was so eager to see… in Middle Earth.
"ZEPHYR!!!" Cleff ran and hugged the girl tightly clad in elven fashion, as Merry and Sam's jaws dropped down the floor, as if unhinged. "You couldn't… I didn't… you know you're not…" Cleff's puzzled look returned. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MIDDLE EARTH?!!"
Zephyr laughed… a pretty scary laugh, just like how Frodo would laugh when he met Gandalf before the Long Expected Party (A/N: Brrrr… creepy Frodo-laugh… beat the crap outta me… brrrrr…), then quickly stopped and said, "Never mind the laugh and stop looking at me as if I was the Incredible Hulk, Cliffy." She said, a matter-of-factly, which made the hobbits snigger. Zephyr got up and picked a small bundle wrapped in her elven cloak… who turned out to be… cute little Pippin, all snug – unconscious in sleep. "If it wasn't for your friend here, who naturally kicked the crap out of me from all his ear-pitched screaming… I shouldn't have found you here and find out that the young hobbit from the Shire is being raped by the nasty Shakespeare quoting b*tch from English class, Clefe!"
Cleff, Merry and Sam exchanged dark looks and blinked… "Not necessarily RAPED, Zephyr," Cleff said wide-eyed… trying not to IMAGINE the scene. "Well, lucky you came, since NOBODY here can aim straight…" Cleff glared at a bashful Sam and Merry, who quickly hid all the other nasty stuff left. Cleff got out her nasty Slinger2002™ and threw it aside, muttering, "Nasty 99 cent store… I knew I should have never trusted that batty slingshot over Mrs. Gaffer's @$$…"
Then suddenly… BLAM! The slingshot hit Zephyr's whole pack of Distraction Arrows, creating a tremendous explosion that rocked Rivendell… clearing the whole West Bay Balcony with fog…
Cliff, Zephyr, Merry and Pippin appeared behind a battered old Elven statue, ruined by the "explosion", all covered in black dust… "Next time Zephyr, if you are planning to put Rivendell in an explosive mine… bring more than Distraction Arrows… okay?" Cleff muttered nervously to Zephyr… eyes watering.
"But… but… those aren't Distractive Arrows, Cleff… they're Repeat-Explosion-Black-Arrows-Of-Eternal-Pain!!!" Zephyr muttered back nervously… as Pippin, who was left out near the old, still sparking, burnt out pack of arrows began to whimper. "There's the nuisiance you're talking about… can anyone save Pippin from eternal death?" Cleff said in a small voice.
BLAM!
Disclaimer: Here are the list of things I have to take notice for in this fic…
Songs Used:
Underneath Your Clothes (Shakira) – As Sung By Shea (Boo if you want to)
Something Stupid (Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman) – As Sung By Frodo and Shea
Characters:
Zephyr, Black Arrows Of Eternal Pain™ belong to Zephyr herself… and I included her in this story coz I wanted her to be in the plot… a little token to you Zephyr! Well, the Distractive Arrows™ and the oh so long… Repeat-Explosion-Black-Arrows-Of-Eternal-Pain™ is some part of my idea…
Thank You's: To Those who Read and Review… to Loony, Al, Achoo and Zephyr!!!
