Cleff grunted angrily, her blue eyes rolling from side to side, obviously showing that she is past annoyed, as they trudged through the sharp rocks finding their way to Moria. A few miles ahead of her, Frodo looked back at her with a pair of worried, and sarcastic blue eyes of his own, obviously still twitchy with Cleff's sudden anger with him, when he decided to pass through the mines to conclude the journey of the Fellowship. For Cleff (and Gandalf), she thinks Frodo is a big dunce to make such a stupid decision.
"Maybe you need to improve your management skills, Master Cleff," Cleff mustered sarcastically, mimicking poor little Frodo in a high pitched, whiny voice. Frodo gave a her a blue eyed, pouty glare, and looked ahead at Gandalf who was leading the way. Cleff was about to whack Frodo on the back of the neck, when an ALMIGHTY PAN OF DOOM hit her randomly on the head, almost pushing her into the dark swamp they were passing.
Zephyr broke into a small snigger (over Cleff's sarcastic ranting), but she suddenly glared, as she caught Cleff before she can fall into the dark lake. Sam gave a small "Hmmmph", crossing his arms, tossing his head into the air, clutching his ALMIGHTY PAN OF DOOM, Shea following behind him with a wicked glare. "Sam will kill you if you try anything," Shea hissed, her fair, but glowering face under her gray silk hood. "Pervy hobbit fancier OR NOT…"
Cleff tried to attack back, but Zephyr held her still, finally noticing that Gandalf has stopped walking, and paused by a tall rock wall. "The walls of Moria," Gimli mused, as Legolas, Boromir and Aragorn looked up and around, taking a clear view of the swamp. Cleff and Zephyr exchanged disapproving glances.
Cleff cannot stand it anymore. That's it, I can't let them all suffer what they all have to suffer in the darkness of Moria… she thought, as she prepared to dash to stop Gandalf from letting starlight and moonlight show Moria's door. I can't afford to loose and Istari to the Balrog – But even before Cleff could take a step, Zephyr has caught her collar again.
"I see," she said suspiciously, with Cleff giving Zephyr a sarcastic look under her arm. "You're off to spoil the story again, have you?" (As for Cleff, she realized that Legolas's training has affected Zephyr more, but have given her keen eyes, and the power to read minds…) Cleff broke from Zephyr's graps brutally and brushed dirt off her cloak. "Three words: Death, Watcher and Balrog. Is Moria that classified, Zephyr?" Cleff mustered, confronting Zephyr, as the Fellowship began to settle down outside the walls of Moria.
"You can't tell them that!!! A Cliffhanger isn't to mess up with fate and spoil the story to the cast, remember?" Zephyr's eyes glinted with fear and resentment, when Cleff didn't answer, with Zephyr obviously sensing Cleff's headstrong final decision.
Zephyr crossed her arms and said, "You're not going to do it, Cleff."
Cleff stuck her tounge out at Zephyr. "Will to."
Zephyr rolled her eyes, grabbed a wad of mud and prepared to aim it on Cleff's face. "Will not!"
Cleff pulled her sleeves up, and grabbed a bunch of extra sausages and food from her backpack, for her aiming defense. "Will to!"
Zephyr didn't stand it any longer. The wad hit Cleff's cloak and she went about ranting on how Zephyr stained her best black cloak. Zephyr and Cleff started laughing as they started a mud-food fight out in the walls of Moria, much to the Fellowship's disgrace.
Both were almost overcome with laughter when Zephyr was about to aim a wad of sausages back at Cleff, when… someone snatched it from her arm. "PIPPIN YOU NAUGHTY LITTLE BASTARD –" Zephyr started, when Pippin gave a little naughty "eeeeep!" and ran off. Well, to make matters worse, since Pippin was holding a wad of sausages, he was chased by Bill the Pony who was about to be released by Aragorn and Sam.
"YOU NASTY LITTLE PONY!!! COME BACK HEEERE!!!" Aragorn screamed, as he and Sam ("BIIIIIILLLL!!!") chased the stupid little pony and the outraged hobbit Pippin into the forest. Zephyr and Cleff exchanged ridiculous demented looks as Zephyr got up to her feet and ran after the "chasing-a-stupid-pony-and-fool-of-a-took" squad. "I'LL COME BACK AFTER YOU AFTER I KICK PIP'S HINEY!!!" she called after Cleff who burst out laughing.
By the doors of Moria, Gandalf was trying to figure out of how to open the door, with Frodo watching curiously behind him, as moonlight and starlight revealed the shining gates of the mines. "Speak Friend, and enter." Gandalf read, as Frodo, Legolas, Gimli and Shea exchanged clueless glances. "So what is supposed to happen?" Merry asked in a chipper manner.
"Oh, if you're a friend, you'll just speak the password, and the doors will open!" Gandalf said skeptically, which made Cleff, who was hovering nearby roll her eyes. Well, the Cliffhanger was ignored, as Gandalf pressed the tip of his staff on the glistening door and blurted out a string of elvish. ("Ay Macarena, Macarena, macarena, ey, macarena!")
Nothing happened… except from a loud pppppppppfffffftttttttttt from behind the old wizard which made all the flowers melted into a sickly shade of green goo. Merry fainted with the smell, as what was left of the Fellowship was left on the ground, rolling on dirt with laughter. Gandalf turned red, and blurted out, "YOU KNOW ITS NOT EASY BY BEING A WIZARD TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE PASSWORD THROUGH DWARVES SECRET MINES!!!" And with a slight hmmmpf, Gandalf plopped down a huge boulder, which made the Fellowship shut up and go nervous.
Cleff exchanged nervous, worried glances with Shea (to her surprise) and saw her chance of showing how powerful and all knowing a Cliffhanger could be.
"You know Gandalf," she said, walking over to the boulder, trying to comfort a depressed Gandalf. "You know the answers deep inside. That's what Istari's are for. Maybe, you haven't seen the answer. Survey the mesaage on the door again." Gandal fgave a small *sniff* and looked up at her, "Really?"
Cleff rolled her eyes, and can't stand it any longer. "C'mon Gandaaalf!!! The valars didn't send you here to be some useless Maia, did they?!! Look closely!!! Maybe it's a –"
Cleff was rudely interrupted when Frodo stood up and looked at the glistening door. "IT'S A RIDDLE!" He piped up. Cleff and Gandalf looked back at him, both glares on their faces, saying "shhhh!". Frodo turned red and backed away a bit. Aragorn, Sam, Zephyr and Pippin were back, with Aragorn acting as a pervy hobbit fancier he is, comforting Sam who burst into tears of losing Bill, with Zephyr and Pippin stuck in a wrestling-shouting match, reprimanding each other.
Back to Frodo, he tried to reach out to Cleff and Gandalf again. "Maybe it's a riddle!" he said nervously, now that all eyes were glaring at him (except for Shea, who was looking longingly at him). "Speak Friend, and enter… Gandalf, what is the elvish word for friend?"
Cleff's eyes turned red, as she looked loathingly at Frodo… "THAT'S MY LINE YOU NASTY PERVY HOBBIT…" Gandalf shrugged and tried, "Mellon?" To the relief of all, the door creaked open, as Gandalf hapilly beckoned the rest of the Fellowship inside. But, nobody budged, as they were all concerned and amused with Cleff charging at Frodo, who began to back into the lake… about to start a heat wave shouting match.
"You… you…" Cleff glared loathingly at Frodo, whose blue eyes began to twitch and roll with fear, backing off deeper into the lake. "Ash was right about you Frodo Baggins! You imbecile… you always steal people's lines! You pervy scene-stealer!!! Do I have a chance to prove myself? NOOO! The Ringbearer always steals all the credit!!! And who gets praised for carrying a stupid little jewelry for all his bravery? A stupid little hobbit who can't even go on a mission without dragging a bunch of people who will defend him for he can't even defend himself!!!"
Even Zephyr and Pippin halted in the middle of their shouting match, jarred by Cleff's snapping, hair raising insults she has been dying to scream at Frodo eversince The Council Of Elrond. Gandalf began to turn red, Boromir and Aragorn stunned, with Shea beginning to cry since she can't stand to see Frodo's blue eyes beginning to water.
"WHY DOES ALL THE GOOD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO YOU?!! I EVEN GET BLAMED WHEN I CAN'T EVEN DEFEND YOU FROM THOSE PESKY RINGWRAITHS! Why is everyone so amused with a stupid little blue eyed, useless, dumb hobbit, when he can't even destroy the Ring all by himself?!!" Cleff screamed beside herself, as Frodo began to burst into tears. "CLEFF STOP IT!!!" Zephyr and Shea screamed in unison, as Cleff suddenly snapped back to reality, and saw tears falling out of the little hobbit's adorable blue eyes. (LET ME TAKE THAT BACK LATER.) But the hatred was still lying in there.
"Ash was right, she was always right…I can't be held responsible for you. I can't stand being always there for you, and still you get all the credit… I hate you Frodo Baggins…" The words escaped Cleff's mouth slowly, as she was beside herself.
Frodo couldn't stand it either, as tears began to flow from his own eyes. "You n-never…*sob* you can't… You p-promised you'll always be there… *sob* You n-n-never did…" poor little Frodo stuttered amidst Cleff's raging red eyes. She wasn't herself. She turned evil, just like Ash. And Frodo cannot believe it himself, for she always promised she will always be there…
"YOU PROMISED BUT YOU NEVER CARED!!! I HATE…" Frodo couldn't say "I hate you", he just turned around, and dashed into the shallow lake, rubbing his watery eyes with his tiny fists. Cleff was left there stunned and open mouthed, the edge of her cloak wet with lake water, when she remembered… in the lake lies the Watcher…
"FRODO, NO!!! COME BACK-" Too late, the watcher has wrapped its tentacles upon the hobbit's legs, and took him by surprise, into the air. Aragorn and Boromir, who were about to fall asleep with Cleff and Frodo's dramatic shouting-match was jarred awake with Frodo's pathetic wail, and the Watcher's screech, making them draw their swords. Legolas and Zephyr quickly exchanged glances, and ran near the water for back up, drawing their bow and arrows.
Cleff had her own sword drawn, and was risking to get a closer look at the watcher, when Aragorn grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her back to sword. "You have done enough damage! Stay here-" Boromir tried to hack at the slashing tentacles, dashing into the water, accompanied by Aragorn, who was trying to strangle Shea and Cleff back to the shore.
"ITS MY FAULT- LET ME GET HIM BACK-" Cleff said through gritted teeth, as she pushed at Aragorn, who was able to chop off the tentacle that was holding the hobbit. Cleff and Shea were sprayed with tentacle blood, as Cleff waded through the water blindly, swaying her sword like an enraged madman.
"LET ME AT IT-" Aragorn, who was trying catch Frodo in the air, lost balance when he tripped over Shea on the bank, as Frodo fell on a blinded Cleff, as they both went underwater. Boromir saw what happened, and dragged Frodo and Cleff out of the water, both having swallowed enough swamp goo, and dragged them into the entrance of Moria. Aragorn followed inside Moria, carrying Shea, as Legolas and Zephyr threw their arrows straight at the watchers eye and scrammed right into Moria.
The watcher blinded, had its tentacles swaying, hitting the walls of Moria, making an avalanche of rocks, blocking the entrance, trapping the Fellowship inside.
Gimli began to burst into tears. Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn and Boromir looked around and saw Moria… the way it was… a tomb. All the dwarves were dead. Zephyr wiped the gooey blood off Cleff's face with her cloak, giving her a disappointed look. "Tsk, tsk. You totally blew up the Ringbearer, Clefe. You totally blew Frodo up." Cleff gave her an empty, guilty look as they both saw Frodo, still in tears, being comforted by Sam, Merry and Pippin. Cleff swore, Frodo looked at her back with that guilty, depressing sad, pouty lipped look, which totally triggered the "guilt-enzyme" to spread over her conscience.
"I can't do that…" Cleff felt herself mutter, as Sam wiped the tears from Frodo's eyes, just like how Zephyr wiped the blood off hers. "I can never do that again. I promise."
~ ~ ~
Cleff felt more than rotten, as she trudged deeper down Moria, following Gandalf who finally lit up the tip of his staff with a small crystal he carry around his pocket (he does, does he?). Cleff even felt more gloomy and regretful that she took up this quest at all when Frodo shot her the teary-eyed look which could be awarded the "Most Depressing Look Since The First Age", for the 937th time. That look make her want to pick up a stone and thrash her own blue eyes out with it…
"No Cleff. Bad. Don't try to gauge out your own blue eyes with a stone from Moria. You don't know it could be infected with treacherous dwarf urine." Zephyr said, holding Cleff's arm, as Gimli shot Zephyr a look of pure venom. "Whaaaaat?!!" Zephyr shot back at Gimli, who just grunted and continued going up the ten-mile high stair Gandalf was climbing.
"Darn it Zeph, you always stop my attempts of suicide…" Cleff muttered sadly, brushing off dirt from her sleeve again, as Zephyr shot a look of pure venom at Pippin, who gave her another "Most Depressing Look Since The First Age" nominee look as he passed by. "Oh well, you know how much I want to deal with Shorty's own suicide attempts here…" Zephyr said, nudging her head in Pippin's direction.
"Who are you calling Shorty?! We hobbits are known for our height, and we should be proud of it, not to be insulted by gangly tall humans like you…" Pippin snorted with a hint of that adorable Irish accent. To Cleff surprise, Zephyr turned red.
"Gangly?!! WHO YOU CALLIN' GANGLY, YOU FOOL OF A TOOK? Well, after all, you're suicidal – AND DON'T TALK TO ME WITH YOUR SCOTTISH ACCENT FOR IT TURNS ME ON!!!" Zephyr snapped. Pippin turned red, ignoring the "implied" sweet compliment, and said, "Oh no, don't you try insulting my own accent, you burly big girl – AND DON'T YOU DARE PUSHING YOUR EXPERTICE IN ARCHERY FOR YOUR SLENDER BODY GOES SOO WELL ON HOW YOU SHOOT AN ARROW –"
Zephyr and Pippin somehow noticed that they have snapped and sent out their real feeling for each other, thus, turning bright red, just staring at each other. The rest of the Fellowship just passed by them rolling their eyes. Suddenly, a big light blinded the two, as Pippin suddenly fainted in Zephyr's arms. Cleff stood there, an evil smile on her face holding a camera.
"Oooh look!" She said, as she held a Polaroid™ in her hands, grinning wickedly at a shocked Zephyr. She took the newly developed picture and waved it under Zephyr's nose. "This picture should be labeled, LOVER'S QUARELL. Ooooh, wait till Merry sees this and we post this under the Fellowship Scrapbook…" Cleff said gleefully, as Zephyr sprang after her, Pippin still dozing peacefully in her arms.
"OH NO YOU DON'T, CLEFE McCRAIG!!! PIP AND I AREN'T LOVERS AND YOU'RE GOING TO RETURN THAT PICTURE TO ME!!!!" Zephyr chased Cleff up the stairs, passing ahead of Gandalf. "Ooooh yes, you're just in denial, Zephy…" Cleff giggled uncontrollably, as she suddenly halted in front of three rock passages in Moria. Zephyr ran beside her, and gazed up too.
Gandalf put the whole Fellowship to a halt and looked at the three passages, unable to move on. "I don't remember this place…"
A/N: Oooooh. This may be a cliffhanger. Oh well, I had to save the orc battle and the Bridge Of Khazad Dum later, since I swear, its going to be veeeery long. I swear, by Chapter 21, we'll be in Lorien. I promise! It might end around Chapter 23 or 24. It will end soon! I have to finish second part of Moria first. Jeez… can someone tell me whats wrong with me? I have been reading some Tobey/Elijah/Dominic slash… and I think I am being robbed off my innocence… someone give me back my pure brain!!!
