Disclaimer: The characters and places and stuff belong to JKR. But for now, they are at my mercy. *evil grin* I'll return them as soon as I'm finished…maybe.

Futon: I don't quite understand what you meant in your review "What a waste of good money."

In this chapter: A trip to Diagon Alley, flashbacks, and news of Malfoy

~~~

Chapter 4

Four days later, Harry--still armed with his cane--went with Severus to Diagon Alley. Minerva had given Harry his letter, so he was ready to buy all of his supplies, including new robes and everything.

"If you need to stop, let me know," Severus told Harry when they entered the Alley. "Where do you want to go first?"

"Gringotts," Harry replied. "Then Madame Malkin's."

The two headed to Gringotts Wizarding Bank. Harry presented his key, and a goblin called Griphook took him and Severus to Harry's vault in a speedy cart. Once they stopped, Severus climbed out, then assisted Harry, who wavered a bit on his feet.

"All right?" Severus asked, holding onto Harry's arm. Harry looked up and gave a weak smile, and Severus saw that his face was pale.

"I never did like those things."

Harry handed his key to Griphook, who unlocked the vault. Harry stepped in and grabbed a few handfuls of coins. After putting them in a pouch, he left the vault and climbed back into the cart with Severus, shutting his eyes.

"It's worse if you close your eyes," Severus told him, gently, as the cart shot off.

The next stop was Madame Malkin's robe store. Madame Malkin greeted them, and Harry told her that he needed new robes for school.

"Dress robes, as well," Severus added. Harry's eyes widened in horror.

"Not another ball!" he groaned.

"One of Albus's brilliant ideas for keeping things happy and sugary sweet this year, after the events of last term," Severus explained, sarcastically. "There will be one at Christmas and one at Valentine's Day. Oh, and a masquerade ball for Halloween."

"No dress robes," Harry told the woman who was measuring him. "I'm not planning on going to another ball in this liftetime."

"Oh, but you seemed to be having such a wonderful time at the last one," Severus taunted him. "Ignoring your date after the opening dance, and then proceeding to sulk the rest of the night."

"And that's precisely why I'm not going to this one," Harry shot back. "I didn't have fun then, and I won't this year."

"Get the dress robes, Potter," Severus told him in a tone that left no room for protest. "I'm fairly certain that if you don't, then you will change your mind about going a week before it's time because the girl of your dreams will ask you, and then you will whine and complain about not having dress robes, and you won't have time to get them. Get the robes."

Harry stared at him for a moment before chuckling and shaking his head as Madame Malkin stepped out of the room.

"That went completely over my head," he muttered. "Anyway, there is no 'girl of my dreams.'" Maybe a 'man of my dreams' or a 'professor of my dreams.' Stop that, Harry!

"Ah, so Mr. Potter is of the male persuasion?" Severus commented. My outlook just became brighter! Damn it, stop, we talked about this already! "I never would have guessed."

"You weren't supposed to," Harry said, simply. "Nobody knows, except you, Sirius, and Remus."

"Oh, joy," Severus sneered. "I share a secret with the Canine Couple."

At this, Harry gave a soft sigh and dropped down to a chair, folding his arms across his chest. Severus watched him curiously and tried to get his attention, but the boy seemed to be lost in thought.

Even if he did want me... Harry thought. Sirius would kill me. Or him. Or both of us. They hate each other, and nothing will ever change that.

Suddenly, Harry realized that Severus was staring at him, and that Madame Malkin was standing in front of them with a box. Harry blushed slightly and muttered an apology. He took the box from the seamstress and paid for the robes. Severus shrunk the box, so that it would fit in Harry's pocket, and then the two headed to Flourish & Blotts.

"Something bothering you, Potter?" Severus wondered as Harry looked at his list and picked out the books he needed.

"No, I'm fine," Harry replied quickly.

Two hours, twelve books, two boxes of owl treats, numerous potion supplies, and a pair of boots later, Harry and Severus were back in The Leaky Cauldron. They sat in a booth back in a corner, away from the rest of the patrons. While waiting for the drinks to come, Harry rested his leg on his bench and looked around the pub. His eyes stopped to rest on a bottle of Muggle beer.

~~~

He was drunk again, Harry could tell. The way he slurred when he talked, the way he stumbled as he walked, the stench of alcohol on his breath... Harry knew this would be worse than normal.

Usually, he got Dudley to do it for him. Then he wouldn't be breaking the law. Until Harry was sixteen, he couldn't really lay a hand on him.

But when he got drunk, he didn't care. It happened rarely, but when he got drunk, he went straight to Harry's room. He threw the door open. He saw the boy scramble to hide in a corner. He picked the boy up by his shirt collar and--

~~~

Severus watched Harry, concerned. The boy seemed to be in some kind of a trance. He was staring at something across the room, and his face grew paler with each passing second. A drop of sweat trickled down Harry's forehead, and Severus wondered if he should get Harry's attention.

He didn't have a chance to. After a few more seconds, Harry shut his eyes and shook his head, taking deep breaths. He then turned to look at Severus, pleading with his eyes.

"I can't stay in here," Harry barely whispered. "I have to get out."

Severus only nodded and told Tom, the Innkeeper, to cancel the drink order. Severus then helped Harry up and, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, removed a portkey from his pocket.

A moment later, they found themselves in Severus's suite at Hogwarts. Harry climbed onto the sofa and curled up in a corner of it. He wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his knees to his chest, and closed his eyes so that he wouldn't see anything else in the room.

"May I ask what that was about?" Severus inquired, sitting in a chair.

"Sometimes when I see little things, it sparks a flashback," Harry murmured, opening his eyes and staring straight into Severus's.

Eyes that young and beautiful shouldn't be so full of pain, Severus told himself. Harry continued to speak softly.

"Until I turned sixteen, Vernon let Dudley punish me for everything... It wasn't considered child abuse of Dudley did it. After I turned sixteen, Vernon handled the beatings, but he let Dudley do it, too... I saw a Muggle beer bottle in the pub. Sometimes Vernon would get drunk and beat me before I was sixteen."

"I thought you were going to faint, you were so white," Severus commented.

"I thought I was, too..."

"If you need to get anything off your chest, I'm always available," Severus told him. Harry nodded.

"I know. Thank you. I'm kind of tired. I think I'll go lie down for a while."

"All right. I have some work to do, so I'll be in my office if you need anything."

Harry slowly made his way into what was now his bedroom. He changed into more comfortable clothes before climbing under the red satin covers on his bed. Removing his glasses, he closed his eyes and nestled his head in his pillow.

I wish I could forget about what Vernon and Dudley did to me, Harry said to himself. Then I wouldn't have these flashbacks. I wouldn't have nightmares. I wouldn't have to worry about people asking me about it and finding out everything that happened. I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not I'm going to try to end it again...

I don't want anyone finding out what happened or what I did to myself. Especially not Professor Snape, Sirius, or Remus. Professor Snape's done so much to help me, he's been so nice. But if he finds out I tried to kill myself, will he take it back? And everyone else would just be disappointed in me...

And then there was Severus. What to do about him, Harry didn't know. Sometimes he caught the older man watching him or being overly...affectionate? Or maybe it was just Harry's imagination. The man was thirty-seven years old. He went to school with Sirius, Remus, and Harry's parents. How on earth could he like Harry?

But what if he did?

If Severus and Harry were to pursue a romantic relationship, what would happen? How would people react? Severus and the Marauders never got along. Harry's friends didn't even know that he was gay, let alone that he was crushing on the most-hated teacher in school. Ron would throw a fit, and Hermione would be disgusted and lecture Harry on how it's inappropriate for teachers to have those kinds of relationships with their students.

"Bloody hell, he could be fired," Harry whispered in horror. "That's it. I won't do anything. I won't cause him to be fired..."

He sighed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Why couldn't things just be normal?

Then again, in the life of Harry Potter, what is normal?

~~~

While Harry was deep in thought, Severus was in his office, going over his lesson plans for the next year. Suddenly, an owl flew through his door and dropped a letter in front of him before perching on the desk. Severus opened the letter and scanned its contents.

Uncle Sev,

Father's dead. Another Death Eater's A.K. went astray and hit him. Mother killed herself. Self-inflicted A.K. They've been buried, and Aurors have been searching the Manor for Dark Arts stuff.

I'm all alone now, Sev, and it's scary. I don't know what to do or how to take care of myself. I'm not ready to be on my own yet. I haven't even had time to mourn, I haven't cried, and they're expecting me to take care of everything, and I can't!

You're the only family I have left. Do you think I could stay with you for the rest of the summer? I can't stand being in the Manor any longer, especially since the Aurors have come. Please, help me.

Draco

"Oh, Merlin..." Severus muttered, rubbing his hands over his face. "Draco and Harry hate each other. How will this work out?" He went to his fireplace and called up Albus.

"Yes, Severus?" Albus said as his head appeared in the fire.

"Lucius and Narcissa are dead, Albus. Draco just wrote me, asking if he can stay with me for the rest of the holiday."

"That's fine, Severus," Albus told him. "The boy is welcome to stay at Hogwarts."

"I knew you'd say that, but that's not the point," Severus continued. "Draco and Potter hate one another. There will be problems if they're both staying with me."

"You underestimate them, Severus," Albus said after a moment's consideration. "They are intelligent, mature young men. I'm sure they'll be able to handle it. Ask Mr. Potter his opinion; he'll understand and respect your decision to bring Mr. Malfoy here. And I'm sure Mr. Malfoy will act maturely as well. They have grown up these past couple of years."

"Yes, Albus, they have," Severus agreed, though still uncertain. "Thank you."

The connection was broken, and Severus went back to his chambers. He knocked on Harry's door and, hearing a muffled reply, slowly went inside. Harry lay on his side, facing away from the door.

"Draco Malfoy's parents are dead," Severus said, bluntly. "As his godfather, I am next in line to care for him. Therefore, he'll be staying here for the remainder of the summer."

"Okay," Harry replied, his voice unusually quiet.

"I know that you and he don't get along, and I wanted to see what you thought before I replied to his letter."

"It's really none of my business what your decision is. My opinion shouldn't really matter, but if it does, I'll be civil to him. I won't try to kill him or anything."

Severus frowned at Harry's tone. His voice was tired, dead. And he wouldn't turn around. Severus went over to the bed and sat on the edge, resting his hand on Harry's back. At the contact, Harry jerked away.

"Please don't touch me," he requested.

"Are you all right?" Severus inquired, withdrawing his hand.

"Fine..." Harry mumbled. He made a noise that sounded to Severus like a sniffle and reached a hand up to rub his eyes. "Leave me alone, please. Write Mal--Draco back and tell him to come. I'm in no position to interfere."

"Do you need anything?" Severus offered. "Sleeping Potion, Pain Potion, anything?"

"No." Harry's voice was now firm, and Severus took this as a hint that if he didn't leave, Harry would become angry. And that wouldn't be a good thing.