Disclaimer: The characters and places and stuff belong to JKR. But for now, they are at my mercy. *evil grin* I'll return them as soon as I'm finished…maybe.
In this chapter: More flashbacks, tears, and a diagnosis
~~~
Chapter 7
The next day, Harry was considerably more awake. He, Draco, and Severus were in the Potions Laboratory, the boys watching as Severus made a truth potion.
"Could you please help me prepare these ingredients?" Severus asked, pointing at the small piles on the table. "Draco, shred these right here. Harry, slice the roots."
Draco got right to shredding the newt eyes. Harry looked over the table for the knife and stared at it for a moment, slowly reaching his hand out.
~~~
After being tossed into the cupboard by Dudley, Harry inhaled shakily and reached into his pocket. When he removed his hand from the pocket, he held the penknife that Sirius had given him in his third year.
I can't stand it anymore, Harry thought to himself as tears spilled from his eyes. No more. No more... It hurts, oh, God, it hurts... But I can end it...
Without another thought, he opened the knife and slowly dragged the blade across his wrist. He smiled slightly as he felt blood seep from the wound. He felt a burning pain around the cut, but it wasn't a bad pain. It was pleasant. It was beautiful. It was his escape.
~~~
After telling the boys how to help, Severus looked down at the liquid he was stirring in the cauldron. When he looked back at the boys, he saw Harry's hand slowly bringing the knife towards Harry, and his other hand rose, wrist facing up. Severus then looked at Harry's face and saw that he was in a daze again.
"Harry, no!"
Severus knocked the knife from Harry's hand to the ground and caught the boy before he fell off of his seat. Draco watched in shock as his godfather slowly lowered himself and Harry to the floor, cradling the shaky Gryffindor in his arms.
"God, Harry..." Severus muttered, almost inaudibly, as he touched Harry's cheek.
Harry stared up at him and blinked a few times. He seemed confused and unfocused. Finally, he closed his eyes and passed out, dropping his head to Severus's chest. Severus sighed, shaking his head, and ran his fingers through the younger wizard's hair. He lifted Harry up into his arms and left the room. Draco followed, after dumping the contents of the cauldron. They went back into Severus's suite, and the older man lowered Harry to his bed.
"Um, Uncle Sev?" Draco said as Severus pushed up Harry's sleeves. "What's going on? What was that?"
"Remember yesterday, when he had a flashback about the cupboard and ended up in a cupboard?" Draco nodded. "I think he just had another flashback, only this time, he was taking a knife to his wrist. He was about to cut himself."
"Which means...?"
"Which means, I think he's cut himself before." Severus pointed his wand at Harry and said, "Finite Incantatem."
After a moment, scars appeared on the visible parts of Harry's body. Faint white lines showed on his wrists and upper arms. Scars also appeared on his face, neck, and legs. Some seemed self-inflicted, while others didn't.
"Oh, Merlin," Draco whispered, reaching out to run his finger along a crooked line down Harry's cheek. "How could he have concealed these before he got to Hogwarts? He would have had to use his wands, right? And it's not allowed--"
"If I'm not mistaken," Severus cut in, "he can do some wandless spells." His voice lowered a little. "Oh, Harry, why didn't you tell us?"
"What do we do, Uncle Severus?" Draco wondered, quietly.
"Go upstairs to Albus's office. Tell him to firecall Lupin and Black and have them come over immediately. Then bring them down here. All right? I'll take care of Harry if he wakes up."
About ten minutes later, Draco returned with Albus, Sirius, and Remus. They found Severus sitting next to Harry on the bed, pressing a damp cloth against his cheeks and forehead. Harry seemed to be awake, staring up at Severus as the older man spoke softly to him.
"What's going on?" Sirius asked, worriedly. Severus glanced at him, then looked back at Harry.
"I'll be back in a few minutes, all right?" he murmured. Harry nodded, and Severus led everyone into the kitchen. "Harry has been having flashbacks. When he sees some things, they spark the flashbacks. When I took him to Diagon Alley, he saw a bottle of Muggle beer, and he remembered how his uncle used to get drunk and beat him.
"Yesterday Harry went to Hagrid's to visit Fang. He saw a cupboard and had another flashback. He ended up inside the cupboard. Draco was waiting outside, and he got Harry out and broke him out of the flashback. By then, Harry was already hyperventilating and about to pass out.
"Then today, Harry and Draco were helping me prepare the ingredients for a potion I was making. When I looked at Harry, his eyes were unfocused, and he was bringing the knife down to his wrist. I knocked the knife out of his hand, and he just looked at me for a moment and fainted. I brought him back to his room and removed any spells he had on himself. He has scars all over his wrists, his legs, his neck... Apparently, he cast a wandless concealment charm to hide the fact that he's been hurting himself."
Albus and Sirius looked shocked. Remus just looked disappointed as he sighed, shaking his head. Severus looked at him, curiously.
"I had my suspicions," Remus confessed, softly. "When Harry came over two nights ago, he told me he wanted to forget everything the Muggles did to him, as well as everything he did to himself."
"Why didn't he tell me?" Sirius mumbled, dropping to a chair and covering his face with his hands. Remus placed his hands on Sirius's shoulders and squeezed them a little.
"He's ashamed, Sirius," Remus told him, gently. "Ashamed that he couldn't defend himself and ashamed that he tried to end it."
Draco was about to speak up, but he was cut off by an ear-piercing scream from the bedroom. Everyone in the kitchen glanced at each other before running to see what was wrong with Harry. The boy was curled up in a ball under his blankets, shivering as he cried and whimpered. Then, suddenly, it was like an invisible force made him uncurl and lay on his stomach. He buried his face in his pillow, struggling and covering his backside with his hands. That same invisible force brought his hands to rest above his head. After a moment, he let out another scream.
"No, please, stop!" he sobbed. "It hurts, oh, God, it hurts! Stop... Please, God, let me die now..."
Everyone stood, frozen in shock, as Harry continued to struggle and cry. Finally, Draco clapped a hand over his mouth and ran to the bathroom. Sirius collapsed into Remus's arms and cried silently into the werewolf's shoulder, while Remus turned his head away and laid his cheek on top of Sirius's head. Albus's legs felt weak, and he lowered himself to sit in a chair as tears streamed from his eyes.
Severus could feel tears in his own eyes, but he blinked them back. He took deep, shuddering breaths in an attempt to quell his anger. How dare those Muggles violate such a beautiful, innocent person in such a way? How dare they harm his Harry like that?
Finally, Harry stopped struggling, and his body went limp on the bed. As Severus stepped closer, he could hear the younger man's erratic breathing. He gently turned Harry over onto his back and saw his chest rising and falling rapidly. Harry's face was stained with tears, and his skin burned like fire. Severus let out a shaky breath as he rested his hand on Harry's forehead. He summoned a couple of bottles of potion and poured small amounts down Harry's throat. Then Severus suddenly stood up and looked at the others. Draco had since returned, his face pale and sweaty.
"Somebody get Poppy down here," Severus instructed them. "Explain what happened to her, and tell her that I gave him potions for the pain, the fever, and to help with his breathing. Draco, lie down before you hurt yourself."
Severus then headed out of the room, but Sirius stopped him and asked where the hell he was going. Severus stared at him, a maniacal glint in his eyes. Remus recognized that look; it was the same look Sirius had had on his face when he'd wanted to kill Peter Pettigrew in the Shrieking Shack back in Harry's third year.
"I'm going to kill them," Severus stated, hotly. "Care to join me?" Sirius nodded, but they were stopped by Albus.
"Neither of you will be killing anyone," he said, his voice tired but stern. "None of us will. I would agree and join you, if it were not for the fact that Harry needs us. I want those...people...dead as much as you do, but Harry needs us all with him, not in prison. I'll call Minister Weasley, and he can take care of it."
"And hopefully, he'll sic his children and Molly on them," Remus muttered.
~~~
Everyone except for Poppy and Severus waited in the living room while Harry was examined. Once they were finished with the examination, they returned to the living room, pale and shaky. Albus conjured two glasses of water, which Poppy and Severus accepted gratefully. Poppy sat in an empty chair, while Severus sat in a chair with Draco, who still looked quite sick. Everyone was silent for a moment, and then Poppy spoke quietly.
"It appears that Harry is dealing with something called 'Ecilam'," she said. "It's a rare condition that occurs when someone is deliberately harmed by another person, but not by using magic; meaning that the Muggles obviously couldn't use magic to hurt Harry. The injuries weren't magical, but the reaction is. Through the flashbacks, he repeatedly relives the pain of the abuse inflicted upon him. Because of the malicious intent on the Muggles' part, the pain is sometimes worse. He remembers exactly the way everything happened, and it can be magnified in the flashbacks, so it's worse. With each flashback, he loses more and more of his natural and magical energy, which is why he keeps becoming sicker."
"Can it be cured?" Sirius asked, squeezing Remus's hand. Poppy nodded.
"But I've only ever dealt with it once before," she admitted. "And that was a long time ago. Times have changed, and I'm sure treatments have, too. I'd rather not risk doing it on my own. But Potter's friend, Hermione Granger, is to be my apprentice this year, and I know that she has been doing extensive research on Ecilam. I'm certain that she'll be able to help."
"I'll contact her," Albus volunteered. "Poppy, what does the treatment entail?" The matron sighed, shaking her head.
"It's a painful and draining process. Painful for him, draining for all of us. He'll be required to drink a potion beforehand, but that's the only time he can have anything. Once I speak the spell to start the treatment, no other spells or potions can be used on him until the treatment is complete because it will react with the spell and potion that are already involved.
"The potion and the spell make it so that we can physically extract the pain and...malice...from his body and soul. It takes several hours to do so, depending on how much we have to extract. I'd like to get it done as soon as possible, so if you could get Miss Granger here by sometime tomorrow, that would be best. All of you will probably be needed as well, and anyone else Potter is close to. It helps to have loved ones nearby. The stronger of you will have to assist me and Miss Granger."
~~~
Harry slept through the rest of the day. Poppy went off to prepare for the next day while Albus went to contact Hermione. Severus allowed Sirius and Remus to stay in his suite for the night. Harry's godfathers would stay in the bedroom with Harry, while Draco slept on the sofa.
That night, Remus lay on the second bed in the room, while Sirius transformed into Padfoot and cuddled up to Harry on his bed. Harry sensed his godfather's presence and smiled slightly in his sleep. He turned onto his side, placing an arm over Sirius, who gently nuzzled his face. After a moment, Harry's eyes slowly opened, and he moaned quietly. Sirius quickly transformed back into a human and looked at Harry with concerned eyes.
"Harry, love, how are you feeling?" he asked, pushing Harry's hair from his face.
"Cold..." Harry murmured, shivering. "Hurt all over... So tired..."
Sirius tucked the blankets tighter around Harry, then sat next to him, touching his face. Harry looked up at him, curiously.
"What you doing here?..." he asked, sleepily.
"Something happened today, Harry, and Albus called us to come out," Sirius replied, gently.
"Moony, too?" Sirius smiled and nodded.
"Moony, too. He's snoozing on the other bed at the moment. Anyway, we know why you're so sick, Harry, and why you keep having flashbacks. Poppy and Hermione are going to try and fix everything tomorrow."
"'Mione's coming?..." Harry mumbled, smiling a little. "I missed her..."
"Yeah, she's coming, and she's going to help Poppy," Sirius confirmed. "The Weasleys are all coming, too. Snape and Malfoy will be there, and me, Moony, Albus, Minerva... Poppy said it will help to have people who care for you nearby."
"What's she gonna' do?..."
"You'll find out tomorrow, love," Sirius assured him, squeezing his hand. "It will hurt a bit, but remember that we'll be right there with you, and we love you." Harry was silent for a moment.
"I'm so tired..." he whispered, looking up at his godfather.
"I know you are, Harry," Sirius murmured. He leaned over and kissed Harry's forehead, then tucked the blanket tighter. "Go back to sleep. You need it."
"Love you, Siri..."
"Love you, too, Harry."
