A Dwarf's Tale
by Banon Angrybeard
It seems my valiant efforts have been in vain. The Sues are coming. We cannot hold them any longer. Sweet, mellow voices, voices in the deep. We cannot hold them off. They are coming.
No, sorry, false alarm. Turns out that after one look at us Dwarves sitting around enjoying a good dinner, they turned and ran off, shrieking. Funny thing, that.
One said something about meeting the Fellowship of the Ring in Moria.
Odd, they did mention Gimli...
He's been dead in Valinor for about two hundred years now.
I can hear screaming from far off... it looks like the last of the Orcs got them. I know we shouldn't do it, but we like to keep them around. Useful when dealing with intruders.
It's too bad, now that I think of it. The Mary Sues were a pretty goodlooking bunch, this time. And there aren't too many Dwarf ladies around, either. Ah, well. I'm sure more will be coming tomorrow.
If the cave troll doesn't get them first.
Author's Note: I know that was fairly random. I really just wanted a pretext to show you all this story, which, though it is unbelieveably enough NOT A PARODY, more eloquently satirizes the Mary Sues than I ever could. Pity the poor author who wrote this fic. The link hasn't been working, so search her name, which is Thooawanta Sunleaf. She has one story, and it is... well, you'll see.
I mean no offense to the author of said fic, but it is just too hilarious to pass up. And while you're at it, try to give her some nice, constructive criticism.
If you can do so without laughing.
-Artemis
