Remus Kicks Butt: The Background Story

The one with a shot of absinthe



'Dumbledore, I really don't think I should be teaching now,'

The Headmaster looked at him from behind his half-moon glasses. 'Severus, you have no choice. You need a job and I need a Potions Master.' He refilled Snape's teacup without asking and sat back down in the chair. They were both sitting near the fire; the winter was being far too harsh on Dumbledore's old bones. 'Besides, perhaps if you take the position people will stop thinking of you as a Death Eater.'

'It is a possibility, Headmaster.'

'You are going to make this very difficult, aren't you?'

'No, I won't.' Snape stood, picking up the cloak he had draped across the arm of the chair. 'I will not accept your offer. This school does not need a reputation for hiring people with my background.'

'Severus, I apologise if this comes out wrong, but when did you start caring what this school was thought of?' Dumbledore's twinkling blue eyes looked at him with an earnest expression.

'I am leaving, old man.' Severus said, his back to him. He was staring intently at the door. Maybe Dumbledore would get the picture and leave him alone.

'I get the feeling you will return to teach here, Severus. And you know how often I am wrong about these things.'

Severus scowled. Dumbledore was never wrong about these things. With an indifferent shrug of his shoulders, he walked out the door and down the corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If only he could get rid of his nagging sense of commitment towards the werewolf waiting for him outside in the snow.


Remus was still up at three am when Helena found him. He was dressed in the pyjamas she had given him for Christmas, ones with extra comfort spells in them. Remus was sitting on the couch with a photo album in his lap, flipping through the pages. His shoulders were shaking and she had the distinct impression that he was sobbing quietly.

'Remus?' She asked softly.

He jumped as if guilty and looked at her with wild eyes. 'Oh, hi Helena. I didn't wake you up, did I?'

'Of course not. You're as quiet as a mouse.'

'Poor Pete.' He murmured, running his hand over a picture of a fat, pale boy in silver robes. The picture was from the Yule Ball, as there was a Christmas Tree in the background. 'Poor James and Lily, too. I miss them so much, Helena. I feel like a piece of me is missing and I need something to fill the void.'

'Remus, you have me,' She was looking at him with such big eyes that he wished he did feel the same way. They suddenly widened even more, if possible, and she drew back from him. 'I'll never be able to fill that void, will I, Remus?'

He looked back at the album and shook his head. 'I'm sorry.' His voice was very hollow to his ears.

'No, I'm sorry.' Again, she was not yelling or screaming at him. Helena was always calm in these situations, which was just so different from Lily's throwing and fiery attitude as to be North and South. 'Remus, you will need to remember that they are dead. James is dead. Lily, and I know how you felt about her, I read your diary, she's dead too. All that is left of Peter is a finger. Sirius is going mad in jail. I gave you a chance at forgetting all of that and you didn't take it. I want you gone tomorrow.'

He nodded, silent and thinking. 'I truly am sorry, Helena.'

'I know.' Her hand touched his shoulder and then she went back to the bedroom.


He stood on the side of the road, his bags at his feet and a cigarette hanging from his lip. It was cold, but nothing a thick coat and a bit of Butterbeer could not fix. Remus checked his watch. Severus would be there soon and he would bring their reward for the last Death Eater they gave to the Ministry. For the first time in his career as a hunter, he really needed the money.

'Uh, excuse me sir?'

He turned. A woman who was wearing all black, down to the high-heeled boots, was trying to catch his attention. Remus wondered how long he had been out of it and said after his head was clearer, 'Yes?'

'Would you happen to have the time?' Her stunningly sapphire-blue eyes looked hopefully into his blue-grey ones. There was something wild just waiting on the edges of her eyes, it seemed like she could be anything and everything. He had a little shiver and checked his watch again.

'Certainly. It is a quarter past two.'

'Thank you,' she looked at him again, and he had the strangest feeling that he was being scrutinised far more than the casual gazing the woman was giving him. 'Do you have enough time for something from the Three Broomsticks?'

Remus frowned, taking the smoke and putting it out on the iced road. 'I was meant to be meeting someone here...and I'm a little short on cash at the moment.'

'It's only across the road and it would be my treat. No, my thank you for being helpful.' She linked arms with him and without any more protestations from the werewolf, led him across the street, leaving his bags under a Protection Charm.


Three Butterbeers and a whiskey sour later, Remus was chatting away with the strange lady who had asked the time. He had found out that her name was Ellie and she worked in the Ministry, and that she liked reading and staying in bed late on Sundays. She had a way of asking questions that it was not until after you told her that you realised how much you had said. However, Ellie gave her own information back.

'Lupin you bastard!'

Remus looked up and saw the face of fury. Severus shoved a bag of coins at him and sat down without waiting for an invitation. He launched into a ramble on why the werewolf was a bastard.

'Not only have I been combing the entire town for the last two hours, but I also did a Location Spell on you and even went around to your house. She finally kicked you out, I see. Helena was worried sick because she thought you'd been attacked trying to find a house. If you have any decency, you will contact her and apologise. I'm freezing and you've been in here drinking!'

'I don't see why you wouldn't have looked in here, Snape.' Remus said pensively. 'I mean, it is obvious that I would be trying to escape the bitter wind and snow.'

'I thought you'd been taken away by some...' he threw a look at Ellie, 'some of our enemies.'

'You mean Death Eaters?' Ellie asked coolly.

'How much have you told her?!' Snape asked in disbelief.

'Calm down. Severus, this is Ellie McDonald. Ellie this is Severus.' Remus introduced them, finishing his whiskey.

'Nice to meet you Mr...?' Ellie prompted him to give his last name.

'Snape.' Severus told her, then bit his tongue. What had possessed him to tell her that? 'Professor Severus Snape.'

'I believe I've heard of you Professor Snape.' Her eyes were twinkling and Remus wondered if she was a distant grand daughter of Dumbledore. 'Former Potion Master of Hogwarts, as well as a former Death Eater, I believe.'

'That's right.'

She leaned back in her chair, clasping her hands behind her head. 'How intriguing.' After a smile had played on her lips, she continued. 'I work in the Ministry. Disposal of Dangerous Creatures,' both she and Remus gave shudders. 'I hate my job but I'm the only one stopping them from having an all out blood bath.' She shook her head and changed the subject.

'Remus, you're homeless now, you said.'

He grinned slightly. 'I am, yes.'

'I have a room that I need to rent. Perhaps you would like to take it?'

Remus grabbed her hands and shook them both. 'Thank you so much, Ellie! I can't thank you enough!'

'You could let my hands off before they get thrown across the room.' She said, wincing.

'Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry!' Remus suddenly laughed for the first time in a long time. 'Thank you!'

'Oh god.' Severus moaned, calling for a shot of absinthe.


Author's Note: Thank you to my reviewers. Absinthe is a very dangerous drink, well 100 years ago it was. Now there is only a tiny bit of wormwood in it so don't be scared! Watch Black Books!!!

Iselin: Thanks! I don't know how big I want this, because it's getting in the way of Alexia's good story. I'll say this for you. BE PREPARED! Sorry :( I'm getting to everybody else. Thank again.

Darth Flirt: Sorry for not telling you earlier, hee hee. Alexia is pregnant and I'll write that in the next chapter. Along with a very drugged up Lupin I'm afraid. I wonder what people think, me looking up amphetamines...