"Ding. Round one." – Goldberg

~ PARTY CRASHERS ~ (Charlie)
"No! You weren't invited!" Natasha's shrill voice shrieked.

"What are you talking about? It says HOCKEY TEAM on the invitation."

Charlie looked up across the room where Natasha was having trouble playing bouncer for the second time during the night. Natasha was standing with her hands on her hips, glaring indignantly at the JV team at the door. With chagrin,

"Those were the boys that don't waste anytime." Connie whispered to Charlie. Charlie nodded, and began walking toward the JV team. "Where are you going?"

"To help Natasha." Charlie responded. "What's the problem here?" He asked in his most authoritative manner, the kind he put on when lecturing the team. (The manner where the rest of the team would sit and pretend to listen while holding back laughter.)

"THEY'RE most DEFINITELY not invited!" Natasha pointed an accusing finger at the JV team.

"We are too!" The only girl on the team cried out, in a voice nearly as shrill as Natasha's. She was a short, snub-nosed creature, nothing like the female hockey players that Charlie was used to (nowhere near as attractive as drop-dead-gorgeous Moreau or girl-next-door Gaffney).

"Look, the invitation says hockey team." The captain of the JV team held up one of Natasha's pink and white invitations. "Unless you indicated, which you didn't, this invitation applies to ALL hockey players, nothing about JV or Varsity requirements."

Charlie frowned and bit his bottom lip. He had to admit that the JV captain had a logical argument, but he was reluctant to give up because he didn't want to see the JV triumph, nor did he want to lose out on the action Natasha would surely be giving later on. "Yeah, but some things you ought to have common sense for," Charlie said with a wave of his hand. "Go away, or we'll call dorm security."

"And what'll that do?" The captain placed his hands on his hips. "You think they won't notice all the Varsity hockey guys hanging up here, too?"

Charlie paused. The kid had a point there. "Can't you just go?" Natasha was pleading.

"No. Not until we right the wrongs and make the unfairs fair." The girl said.

"She talks as diplomatically as you, Conway." Averman snickered.

"Shut-up Averman," Charlie rolled his eyes. This wasn't a time for Averman to make fun of him and undermine his authority right in front of the unruly JV captain. "Go, before I make you."

"Just you?" The captain scoffed. "I doubt even Captain Conway can take on the entire team."

"No. I'll have the other members to help me." Charlie said, which he realized in an instant was a mistake. Louis and Guy were drunk, and making out with drunk cheerleaders on the couch. The only people that were in any state to fight was Connie and Julie. Though Charlie suspected that the two girls would put up a good fight, it sure as hell wouldn't look impressive to the JV team.

"You might want to whip them into shape before challenging anyone to a fight."

"Oh?" Charlie knew what the JV captain had said was right, but he wasn't about to back down now. "Mind telling me just exactly what I need to do?"

"Well…" the freckle-faced captain began a slow stroll about the room, stopping at each member of the hockey team. "Goldberg here needs to go on a diet, maybe get on a treadmill, though I doubt he could stay on long." Goldberg dropped the bag of chips he had been munching on.

"Robertson and Wu are pacifists. They play like ninnys on the ice, anyway."

"Hey! I'm the Little Smash Brother!" Ken protested indignantly.

"Yeah well…you're nothing without Portman and Reed…who need to cut down on their intake of illegal substances." The captain patted Fulton and Dean on the head. Neither of them responded, they were staring with glazed eyes at a crack in the ceiling.

"Averman needs muscles. My sister can take him." The JV captain pinched Averman's thin arm.

"Hey! Keep your hands to yourself!" Averman snapped, and poured himself another glass of punch.

"Gladly." The JV captain grinned snidely. "Mendoza and Germaine are nowhere to be found…I don't doubt both of them are in some girl's room right now, enjoying themselves. And then, there are the three girls left, Moreau, Gaffney, and Banks. I hate to say it Conway, but the JV team has too much honor to fight girls."

"Don't insult me and Julie!" Connie spoke up angrily. "And don't insult Adam, either."

"Charlie! Get this little shrimp out of here! I've had enough of his rambling!" Natasha placed her hands on her hips.

"Yeah Conway, let's see you herd the JV team out." The captain snickered. Charlie tried to stand as tall as he could, and make himself look as imposing as he could. He took a step closer. Connie, Julie, and Adam were behind him, flanking him.

Charlie didn't know what happened, but suddenly Connie had the JV girl in a deadlock and was shrieking, "My hair! You little JV brat! You put gum in my hair!" And then everything else erupted in chaos.

The JV captain jumped on Charlie's back, Adam held another JV boy still while Julie pulled up his boxers into a wedgie, Natasha was whacking someone with her purse. Even the other Varsity members in the room had worked themselves up enough to do some help.

Charlie bent over and tried to throw the captain off. But he was like a monkey, clinging onto Charlie like wet clothing. Charlie then backed as fast as he could into a wall, in hopes of maybe squashing the kid. All he managed to do was knock down a photograph. Charlie was about to lie down, when the security arrived and broke everything off. They were given a strict lecturing, then told that their parents would be notified, and they would be serving two weeks' worth of after-school detentions for fighting in addition to being in the girls' dormitory. After that, they were dispersed.

Charlie, it seemed, had come off best in the fight. He wasn't even scratched, while Adam was covered with bruises where a particularly large JV player had decided to kick him in the shins, Julie had a bloody nose. ("Don't fight girls my ass!") Connie definitely came off the worse. She was covered with scratches from the JV girl's sharp nails, and her hair was now tangled by the gum that had started the fight.

"It's all going to have come off." Connie said sadly, holding out her mangled hair in front of her.

"Don't worry, you'll look good with shorter hair." Adam reassured.

"The long hair didn't look that great anyway." Charlie added, before he could think about what was coming out of his mouth. Looking extremely offended, Connie exited to her room without any further words. "Dammit, women. Damn the JV team, too." Charlie muttered as he and Adam made their way across campus to the boys' dorm.