Okay, sorry about that totally long break I took, but I just finished this three part story I was writing since time freaking began, and finishing stories usually drains me, so I needed to rest.  Add to that the fact that school just started and I'm now on the opposite side of the country, and you've got a seriously thinly stretched writer.  Also, this was a kinda hard chapter to really think out so that I could write it just how I wanted.  Hopefully it turns out how I planned and doesn't come off as a half assed lack of effort…we'll see…

*****

Don't Leave Me Now

Part 10

*****

"Remember what we talked about and I'll call you as soon as the blood work comes back." The middle-aged doctor spoke as he led Faye back to the waiting room.  "Just be sure that you take it easy Miss Valentine.  I'd like to be sure about your condition before I give you the all clear.  As far as I know, it could have been something as simple as anemia, but you were right to come here.  Good day to you."

"Thanks a lot, doctor." Faye answered, still feeling ridiculous about this visit to the doctor.  He had tried to make her feel as though it wasn't foolish worrying about something as small as a fainting spell, but she knew it was obvious to him that she was not there out of her own concern for her well being.  She hadn't told him about Spike, but she was sure he could guess that someone else had sent her, and he seemed to think it was a bit odd that she was at the office by herself.  Spike of course hadn't felt the need to come himself, and though she liked the fact that he trusted her to be able to take care of herself, it made her feel self conscious being alone in the office waiting to talk about such a minor thing when she'd treated much worse problems herself without any professional medical assistance.  She knew that Spike wouldn't put up with her excuses, however.  And she still smiled when she recalled the worried and relieved look on his face when she woke from her stupor earlier that morning.  He may not like to talk about such things, and he may not be the most romantic man in the world, but Faye could tell that he did genuinely care about her.  That meant a lot to someone like her who was so used to being treated so casually and carelessly by other men.  It was strange, knowing that what she said and did mattered so much to someone else.  It seemed he cared about her as much as she cared about him.

Hopping into her Redtail, Faye easily took off, making the quick flight back to the Bebop without incidents, noting as she pulled in to port that Spike was half-heartedly rubbing a dust cloth over the wing of his Swordfish.  He was obviously waiting for her to come back, but she wasn't surprised that he didn't seem to want to show his concern, occupying himself as though he just happened to be right there when she returned.  She wasn't fooled though.  She could still feel the way he'd held her before she left, his arms caging her in with a delicate firmness as though she might fly away or faint off again, or as though he was worried he might hold her too tightly and she would simply snap in half.  She had assured him that she wasn't made of glass, but she secretly enjoyed the silent show of concern and caring.  She glanced at him as he continued to rub the same spot of already clean metal, obviously waiting for her to exit the Redtail and approach him.

He must be embarrassed about how he acted before.  Faye smiled, taking her time shutting down her ship and climbing out of it slowly, not in any big rush, enjoying the impatient looks that she occasionally caught Spike casting in her direction.  Being so worried about someone else really isn't his style.  Not that I mind, since I can take care of myself with no problems, but it's nice to know he cares.  Even if he has to pretend he doesn't care later, like he thinks I'm fooled.  Faye chuckled slightly, taking a cigarette out of the pack she'd stolen from Spike that morning and strolling over to where he was still futilely rubbing at the same piece of metal.

"Hey, if you rub that for long enough, the paint'll come off." Faye informed him, touching his back lightly with one hand as she spoke around the stick in her mouth.  "Gotta light?" she asked as he turned to face her, his eyes full of questions that she knew he was too stubborn to ask.  Lucky for him she was in a good mood, good enough to put up with his obnoxious obsession with his reputation.

"You're back." He stated simply, pulling out his lighter and flicking it, bringing the flame close enough to light her cigarette.

"Yeah, not that far away or anything." Faye shrugged.  "So, you cleaning this heap up?  If you're busy, I guess I'll just go inside…" she teased, wondering what he'd say.

"Oh, I just finished actually." Spike told her, tossing the dust cloth inside his cockpit and leaning against the ship.  He wasn't going to ask her anything, but Faye knew he'd pout endlessly if she didn't volunteer some information.

"Well, okay," she rolled her eyes at his behavior, letting him know that she understood him better than he thought.  "The doctor says that he's not really sure what's wrong yet, but he's running some blood tests and he's got a few guesses already.  See, he says he doesn't want to say anything until he's sure, but he did find a few things."  Faye felt incredibly foolish, thinking all of this was extremely unimportant, but she also didn't see the point in not talking to Spike about it.  It'd end up being more trouble than it was worth, really.  "He didn't find any signs of food poisoning, so it wasn't the eggs.  But he did say that I'm a little under weight and that it might have been anemia, which is apparently something that's a big problem for small people, but I think that's a bunch of shit.  Under weight…whatever.  Yeah, well he also said that my lungs don't sound too healthy, and I might be developing some sort of respiratory problem like asthma or something like that." Faye blatantly displayed what she thought of that by taking a long drag from her cigarette.  "He also said that I have a heart murmur or something, which he said could have something to do with my weight or my smoking or genetics or all of them." Faye noticed the look Spike was giving her cigarette and she started to wonder if she should have told him any of this.  "But he says overall, I'm pretty fit and that whatever the problem is, it's probably nothing too big."  She paused before adding cautiously.  "He wants me to quit smoking."

"Obviously you listened to him." Spike snorted slightly.  "Don't you think you should do what he says?"

"Hey, I've lived a lot longer than you, doing what I think is best, and if I want to smoke, I'm damn well going to." Faye shot back defensively.  "Besides, what's it matter to you, anyhow?  It's my life, not yours."

"Faye, dammit, don't start." Spike huffed at her.  "I'm not fucking challenging your self sufficiency or anything, so don't get all worked up.  I know you can take care of yourself, but don't you think you should listen to the doctor?"

"Whatever." Faye shrugged; genuinely not concerned about the issue, and starting to get a little irritated with how Spike was handling it.  "You smoke, why shouldn't I?"

"Cause I don't fucking pass out cause of it!" Spike shot back, no longer leaning casually against his ship, but standing straight, his back rigid with anger.  "Don't you fucking care what happens to you?"

"Why should I get all worried about it?" Faye wanted to know, her voice rising in answer to his hostility.  "You're worried enough for both of us!  In case you didn't know, I already had a mother once and I don't need another one!"

"Maybe you do, if you're gonna be stupid and just do whatever the hell you want!" Spike snatched the cigarette from her mouth, tossing it to the ground and stomping it out.  "Gods, Faye, did you even think about it?  Fucking respiratory problem, heart murmur…I'm no doctor, but when I hear shit like that I'd damn well listen to them and take it seriously!"

"Well that's great, but this is my problem!" Faye stomped her foot angrily.  "You know, it's kinda sweet that you're all worried, but don't fucking suffocate me like this!  I lived perfectly well before I ever met you and I don't need you to take care of me!"

"Obviously not, since you take such good care of yourself!" Spike yelled at her, obviously infuriated with her stubborn behavior.  "Faye, dammit, this may be about your body and your health and all that shit, but did you ever think that maybe it's about more than that?  Did you ever think that maybe I was upset cause I don't want you to fucking drop dead on me out of nowhere just because you're too fucking stubborn to listen to a doctor?  Fuck, Faye…I don't want…dammit, never mind." Spike tossed the lighter he was still holding to the ground and left the hangar quickly, before Faye could think of anything to say.  As he left, Faye stared down at the scuffed lighter he'd left behind, and she suddenly began to feel her anger being replaced with guilt.  He was worried, and he'd admitted it even though he hated saying anything about how he felt.  And then she turned those feelings aside, making him feel stupid for bothering to care about her.  How could she be so stubborn?  All he was trying to do was take care of her in his own fashion, and she wouldn't allow it.  After how angry she'd been that he wanted to keep their relationship private, she was turning his feelings aside like she could care less what he thought.

"Gods…" she sat down on the cold pavement floor hard, picking up the lighter in one hand, letting her hand warm the cool metal.  "I'm such a bitch sometimes…"

----------

"What?" Spike answered the timid knocking gruffly, not even bothering to move from where he lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Um…it's me." Faye's voice answered, and she opened the door slightly, peeking in at the man she'd last seen nearly six hours ago.  "You…I brought your lighter." She offered, easing the door open a bit more and stepping inside, holding forth the small rectangle of metal as though she thought it might resolve the situation.  "You…um, you left it…before." She was obviously nervous, as Spike had not yet even glanced at where she stood just inside his room.  Licking her lips, she took another step inside.  "I wanted to talk to you…about that." She managed, her emerald eyes hopeful that he wasn't still holding a grudge against her for her earlier behavior.  She knew if it was the other way around, she'd still be mad, and that's what had her worried.  They were so similar…

"Don't bother." He finally spoke, still not even sparing her so much as a glance.  "You said what you have to say.  It's not my business anyway, right?"

"Spike, I didn't mean to get so…you know…" Faye hated apologies.  She absolutely despised them.  "Well…I mean, it is my body and all, but I guess I see why you were worried.  And maybe…I shouldn't just act like I don't care what you think." She rubbed absently at the back of her neck, her other hand fidgeting with the lighter she still held.  "I mean, I'm not really used to…all this.  You know what I mean?  I haven't ever been in…a real relationship or anything.  And since my family's all gone, I've never had anyone that really cares if I stay or if I go.  I like it, I guess, but I'm not really used to it.  I think…you can understand how it is to be independent like that, and it's hard to change.  It's strange to have someone actually care what happens to you…and I guess I didn't really know what to do.  But I shouldn't…I mean, I know it's hard for you to admit you care, and then I just shot you down…I'm sorry." She finished finally, feeling extremely foolish for the second time that day.  How did she get into these situations?

"I don't like having to worry about you." Spike told her, sitting up and turning to face her.  "Especially when you don't give a shit what happens to you no matter what the problem is.  You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" he shook his head and chuckled slightly.  "But if you don't want to listen to the damn doctor, I don't really have any place getting so pissed about it."

"I'll quit smoking." Faye told him, reluctant to give up her addiction, but willing to make the sacrifice.  "I mean, if you want me to."

"It's your choice." Spike shrugged, standing up, his hand enveloping hers.  "I'm not your mom, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." Faye blushed, still feeling foolish.  She scooted closer to Spike, setting his lighter down on the end table before she let her forehead rest against his chest, her eyes closing as she let herself revel in the closeness, in his scent and his warmth.  "But I mean…if you think I should, I will.  I'd rather have you than a bad habit that's supposed to gimme cancer."

"Now I feel special." Spike snorted slightly, but his free hand moved to stroke her hair softly.  "I'm better than cancer."

"I mean it, Spike." Faye turned her head, letting herself hear his heartbeat, her free hand wrapping slowly around his waist.  "I know that neither of us are very good with all this emotional shit, but I don't want there to be any misunderstandings here.  I don't want you to think I don't care about you, because I do.  You're…very important to me."

"Faye…" Spike nuzzled the top of her head.  "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but…just don't leave me…okay?" She could feel the heat of his blush through her hair, and she was touched that he'd say something so intimate.  Perhaps she'd underestimated his ability to display affection.

"Deal." She agreed, fishing the half pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and handing it to him.  "Want these back?  I don't really need them anymore.  I'm quitting, see." She smiled slightly as he nodded, tossing the pack aside carelessly before crushing her lips with his.  He wasn't a big one for verbal thank yous, but Faye liked his way better.

*****

The End (Of Part 10, That Is)