Disclaimer: If I was in any way affiliated with Gilmore Girls, Amy Sherman Palladino, The WB, or anything else, this thing would not be here. Besides, I'm a broke teenager. Same thing goes for the song references that will be made in this story.

A/N: I'm pretty much motivated to write this by the one review that I have gotten. PLEASE REVEIEW!! Oh, the lyrics that are in this chapter are from 'Breathe No More'. I'm a lil potty mouth in this one...hehe The stuff written between the ~'s are lyrics. I would put it in italics, but it doesn't transfer over to ff.net from word, so that was all I could come up with. Me taking applications for beta readers hehe. I think this story kinda needs it. I'm not that good with being really descriptive.

Will You Be There For Me?

Chapter Two: Lost Within Me

Rory is lying on her bed staring at nothing in particular singing softly along to the music that is filling the house because it is turned up so high.

~I've been looking in the mirror for so long.

That I've come to believe my souls on the other side.

Oh the little pieces falling, shatter.~

Next to Rory, you see a very worn looking journal with pieces of paper and pictures sticking out. The contents of the journal are various things that Rory has written about her life and what she goes through, pictures that she or other people have drawn or taken, and different poems, quotes, and lyrics that Rory liked and helped to think about different things.

~Shards of me,

To sharp to put back together.

To small to matter,

But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.~

Through Rory's window, you can see Jess approaching the house with a thermos and bag from Luke's. Rory does not notice, or ignores him if she does. Jess enters the house without knocking and is greeted by the music and the sound of Rory singing along with the CD.

Jess: (standing in the doorway) Knock knock.

Jess notices that something is wrong with Rory, but he knows that it is a bad time to bring up the subject and tries to put it in the back of his mind.

Rory: (fakes enthusiasm) Hey.

Jess: (walks over to the bed and sits on the edge) So, I have all this coffee and these doughnuts, and thought that you might like to help me eat them all.

Rory: (now sitting up across from Jess) You know me too well.

Jess: (mentally) In some ways, I don't know you at all...

Rory: (has more energy than before, but you can still tell that something is bothering her) Gimme food! Gimme coffee!

Jess: (holds the food out of her reach) What are the magic words?

Rory: Words?

Jess: (sarcastically) Yes, the s at the end does make it plural.

Rory: So, that's what it does.

Jess: What are they? (still holding the food out of her reach)

Rory: (you can hear the lack of enthusiasm and energy in her voice) I'm too tired to put up a fight. I love you.

Jess: That was convincing.

Rory: Yeah. Being sleepy can get to a person.

The two sit at the kitchen table, the music still playing.

~Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.

Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.

Lie to me,~

Jess: (sensing that it would be all right for him to ask about before) So, how are you?

Rory: (looking at anything but Jess) I'm fine. Just a little tired.

Jess: (you can hear how concerned he is) Rory, I know something's up.

Rory: (staring intently at the sprinkles on the doughnut) I'm fine, don't worry.

Jess: (concern is more apparent in his voice) Ror, you know you can't hide anything from me. I know when there's something that you aren't saying.

Rory: (finally looks up at Jess. You can see the pain in her eyes) Why do you have to have such an unfair advantage?

Jess: It's not unfair. I care about you and worry when something isn't right.

~And all of this,

Will make sense when I get better.

I know the difference,

Between myself and my reflection.~

Rory: (exhales, demonstrating that she gave up the fight) Have you had stuff in your mind that makes perfect sense, but in reality, it's nothing more than a huge mess?

Jess: Yeah.

Rory: Well, you know how frustrating that can get, among other things...

Jess: Makes you want to beat your brains out sometimes.

Rory: (you can tell in her voice that Rory is having trouble opening up to Jess)Yeah, well, try having to deal with that feeling 24/7.

Jess: (trying to take Rory's hands in his) Ror-

Rory: (her voice is growing stronger and she begins to move her hands around to emphasize what she is saying) It sucks. Being everyone's pet and doing only what others want. I have been doing that for so long that it has killed me.

Jess: (you can hear how concerned he is by what Rory is saying) You know that isn't true.

Rory: (now she's standing up and she walks over to the counter) Yes it is! I try to tell someone what the hell is going through my fucked up mind, but do you listen to what I'm trying to say? No!

Jess: (gets up and slower walks over to Rory) Rory, I'm trying, but...

Rory: (moves away from Jess's approaching figure, now she is on the opposite side of the room) No! Don't even try to make up excuses. There is some crap that goes through my mind on a daily basis that scares the shit out of me, but I have no way to deal with it anymore. For so long I was able to escape it, but now, it just keeps coming and I have no way to avoid it.

Jess: (takes a few steps toward Rory but stops) Rory, I want to help you, but I need to know how...

Rory: If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be the emotional basketcase that I am right now.

Jess: (you can hear in his voice how much he really wants to help Rory) Help me understand...I hate seeing you like this.

Rory: (she's by the back door now and she slowly falls to the floor, her head is in her hands, which are resting on her knees) Ever feel like there's nothing left for you in the world? Try living with that feeling all of the time! Then, knowing what would happen if you were actually able to escape all of the shit that scares the hell out of you. I would be long gone if I wasn't so worried about mom, Luke, or you.

Jess: (crouches down beside Rory) God, Rory, please, don't do anything like that. Don't even think about something as horrible as that.

Rory: (tries to push her hair out of her face and you can see that she is trying to fight off her tears) I have tried to control the things that float around my head, but I'm not strong enough. Every time I put up a fight, I am defeated and become even weaker for the next one.

Jess: You're a strong girl Ror, I know that you could beat something if it meant that much to you.

Rory: (looks directly at Jess) At this point, is my life even worth it? I mean, the real Rory Gilmore was killed a long time ago, or she is so buried within me that it is so damn impossible to find.

~And I breathe,

I breathe,

I breathe-

I breathe no more.~

Rory: (she gets up and runs into her room and grabs her journal) You want to try to understand the mind of Rory Gilmore? Here!

Jess: (takes the journal) Ror, you don't have to do this.

Rory: (walking back to her room, she stops and turns around) Don't let anyone else see that and don't talk to anyone about what happened today. Please.

With that, Rory puts the song back on and it begins again. As the piano in the beginning of the song starts to play the familiar tune, Jess takes the journal and exits the house, trying to comprehend everything that has just happened between him and Rory.

Jess: (mentally) Could she really be in that much pain? How come I never noticed this before? How come I wasn't there for her more?

With those thoughts and many more floating around his mind, Jess sets off for the bridge to go over the contents of the journal, hoping to find answers to the many questions that have formed within his mind.
A/N: Well, this is another short one, but I have school stuff to work on and wanted to get this up before I forgot. Please review, I really want to know what people think about this. I'll try to make the next one longer.