Silence
By: Silent Lullaby
I hold no claim to Gundam wing. However the story is mine.
****
To conclude my unusually good day, I'll return to my faithful laptop and write out this chapter.
I did have a good day today, saw shanghai knights, got the center seat with no one sitting in front of me, had sushi for lunch, bought a birthday present for my elder brother, and a cd for myself. Then went roller blading with my dog Niji.
It was just a nice little break in the sea of work I seem to surround myself in. It's been months since I could actually stop and think about trivial things or about nothing at all. I hadn't realized until it went away today, that I've had a headache for quite sometime. For one leisurely day I didn't have to smile and put on my mask for anyone. I just walked around looking at the passing people who expected nothing of me. I didn't have to hide who I was, or my emotions. A day without expectations.
I know that anyone who had read this far into my rant is probably bored and about to scroll right down to the story but at the moment I'm not concerned with it. I just wanted to write out the tip of the iceberg that I have discovered today.
****
I had discovered that I liked talking with Duo. He was smarter and more aware than he appeared. I knew now that his hyperactivity and humor were mostly a facade, but his kind spirit and friendliness were from the heart.
Not only had their walk and chat been enjoyable, but it had also been informative. I had learned the depth of the braided affection for Trowa, and found that my feelings for Quatre mirrored that. Duo had also told me about the blond angel who had captured my heart. After hearing childhood memories and odd tales I found myself even more infatuated with the blonde beauty.
SO now I found myself returning to my room, my feet making muted sounds on the carpet. If I hadn't had superior hearing and if it hadn't been so quiet in the hall I would have missed the sound of someone sobbing with music playing in the background. Following the soft cries to the source I found myself in front of Quatre's door.
Why would he be crying?
I knocked softly but no answer came. The sobs cracked my heart and caused it to shatter. I quickly opened the dark wooden door. The music from the hall came from a silver stereo in the corner, but I couldn't fine the source of the heart wracking sobs. Moving over the soft carpet I found the slumped form of Quartet. His hair was matted with sweat. Tears streamed sown his pale face like hot rivers. He released one last choking sob and collapsed to the ground. His arms wrapped around his legs in a fetal position on the light gray carpet. He hadn't noticed my presence.
I knelt upon the floor and slowly placed my hand on his shoulder and he whimpered but did not draw away. Finding courage in this I lifted his slight from and paid his head upon my chest. His arms curled around his shivering body and his eyes remained closed. I held him there on the floor for both an eternity and a second.
Slowly his whimpers and sobs dissipated and he became still. Only his calm and steady breath could be heard from him. His arms had wrapped around me at some point and his head now rested in the crook of my neck.
I could tell he had fallen asleep and that I could leave, but I feared any movement on my part would awaken the blonde angel. At least that is what I told myself.
I carefully wiped away the last traces of his tears and held him ever closer. On occasion a whimper would breathe past his soft pink lips or a sob would shake his slender frame. I felt like I needed to protect him, but from what, a past demon that was tearing at his pure soul? Or a ghost on the floor that snuck into his dreams? Perhaps he shed tears for the loneliness that had so often brought me to my knees.
I can't tell what had preyed upon the fae creature that now slept in my arms. I couldn't see the thief that lived inside of his head, but I could be his courage here at the side of his bed. I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend I do, but I can be there for him. I leaned back against the side of his bed and looked at the slumbering boy.
It doesn't matter, I need to protect him; I love him.
* I pressed my lips softly into his hair and rested my cheek on his head as I listened to the soothing sound of his breathing. Warmth flooded over me with every rise and fall of his chest.
It wasn't until now that I realized just how lonely I truly was before now. Now that the void was full and I had someone to protect, someone to care for, someone to love, I knew how much I had been lacking. Even when the orphanage was full of the sound of children and workers I felt like screaming is anybody home, because I was so alone. Nobody cared that I wasted tears on loneliness.
Now I felt so many different emotions, protectiveness, possessiveness, love, joy, sorrow, and fear, and they all came from this small boy in my arms.
I wanted to watch over him, keep him to myself, love him, smile with him, share his sorrows, but all of this scared me.
Just then he sighed softly in what could only be content. As frightening as these emotions maybe I could handle it. Because I love him.
By: Silent Lullaby
I hold no claim to Gundam wing. However the story is mine.
****
To conclude my unusually good day, I'll return to my faithful laptop and write out this chapter.
I did have a good day today, saw shanghai knights, got the center seat with no one sitting in front of me, had sushi for lunch, bought a birthday present for my elder brother, and a cd for myself. Then went roller blading with my dog Niji.
It was just a nice little break in the sea of work I seem to surround myself in. It's been months since I could actually stop and think about trivial things or about nothing at all. I hadn't realized until it went away today, that I've had a headache for quite sometime. For one leisurely day I didn't have to smile and put on my mask for anyone. I just walked around looking at the passing people who expected nothing of me. I didn't have to hide who I was, or my emotions. A day without expectations.
I know that anyone who had read this far into my rant is probably bored and about to scroll right down to the story but at the moment I'm not concerned with it. I just wanted to write out the tip of the iceberg that I have discovered today.
****
I had discovered that I liked talking with Duo. He was smarter and more aware than he appeared. I knew now that his hyperactivity and humor were mostly a facade, but his kind spirit and friendliness were from the heart.
Not only had their walk and chat been enjoyable, but it had also been informative. I had learned the depth of the braided affection for Trowa, and found that my feelings for Quatre mirrored that. Duo had also told me about the blond angel who had captured my heart. After hearing childhood memories and odd tales I found myself even more infatuated with the blonde beauty.
SO now I found myself returning to my room, my feet making muted sounds on the carpet. If I hadn't had superior hearing and if it hadn't been so quiet in the hall I would have missed the sound of someone sobbing with music playing in the background. Following the soft cries to the source I found myself in front of Quatre's door.
Why would he be crying?
I knocked softly but no answer came. The sobs cracked my heart and caused it to shatter. I quickly opened the dark wooden door. The music from the hall came from a silver stereo in the corner, but I couldn't fine the source of the heart wracking sobs. Moving over the soft carpet I found the slumped form of Quartet. His hair was matted with sweat. Tears streamed sown his pale face like hot rivers. He released one last choking sob and collapsed to the ground. His arms wrapped around his legs in a fetal position on the light gray carpet. He hadn't noticed my presence.
I knelt upon the floor and slowly placed my hand on his shoulder and he whimpered but did not draw away. Finding courage in this I lifted his slight from and paid his head upon my chest. His arms curled around his shivering body and his eyes remained closed. I held him there on the floor for both an eternity and a second.
Slowly his whimpers and sobs dissipated and he became still. Only his calm and steady breath could be heard from him. His arms had wrapped around me at some point and his head now rested in the crook of my neck.
I could tell he had fallen asleep and that I could leave, but I feared any movement on my part would awaken the blonde angel. At least that is what I told myself.
I carefully wiped away the last traces of his tears and held him ever closer. On occasion a whimper would breathe past his soft pink lips or a sob would shake his slender frame. I felt like I needed to protect him, but from what, a past demon that was tearing at his pure soul? Or a ghost on the floor that snuck into his dreams? Perhaps he shed tears for the loneliness that had so often brought me to my knees.
I can't tell what had preyed upon the fae creature that now slept in my arms. I couldn't see the thief that lived inside of his head, but I could be his courage here at the side of his bed. I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend I do, but I can be there for him. I leaned back against the side of his bed and looked at the slumbering boy.
It doesn't matter, I need to protect him; I love him.
* I pressed my lips softly into his hair and rested my cheek on his head as I listened to the soothing sound of his breathing. Warmth flooded over me with every rise and fall of his chest.
It wasn't until now that I realized just how lonely I truly was before now. Now that the void was full and I had someone to protect, someone to care for, someone to love, I knew how much I had been lacking. Even when the orphanage was full of the sound of children and workers I felt like screaming is anybody home, because I was so alone. Nobody cared that I wasted tears on loneliness.
Now I felt so many different emotions, protectiveness, possessiveness, love, joy, sorrow, and fear, and they all came from this small boy in my arms.
I wanted to watch over him, keep him to myself, love him, smile with him, share his sorrows, but all of this scared me.
Just then he sighed softly in what could only be content. As frightening as these emotions maybe I could handle it. Because I love him.
