DREAMS OF A MEDJAI WIFE

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The desert was very hot and bright.  Leven hadn't felt this type of heat in months.  She stayed well protected since she came to Ardeth, but avoiding the desert wasn't feasible when one lived there.  As she walked along a sand dune, she felt as if she belonged here.  She couldn't feel the burn on the soles of her feet.  In the distance, she heard the wailing cry of a baby.  Azizah?  Adnan?  She didn't think the cries were coming from her babies, because it was somewhat different.  Leven had learned the cries of her children just as they had learned the tone of her and Ardeth's voices.  The cry was different and completely solo.  Who was the child?  The infant was young, probably no older than her own, but no one in the village had babies so small.  Sahib was the only woman who had had a baby before her.  Her little one was nearly eighteen months old.  The cries continued and Leven began to search diligently.  She was almost certain that the baby was one of hers.  How could that be?  Neither of the babies was ever out alone.  Although certain she wasn't listening to her children, there did seem something familiar about the cries.  She couldn't understand the connection.  She continued onward, looking around obsessively.  Stopping suddenly, she drew in a harsh breath.  She saw the back of her husband's head.  He had stripped down to his waist and a woman in a long white nightgown was approaching.  What was this?  Who was this woman coming toward her husband?  When Ardeth turned, she realized that his face was a little different; his marks had somehow changed.  He looked like Ardeth, but wasn't Ardeth.  He glanced down at an object sight unseen and whispered something in Arabic.  Leven moved around just a bit.  Neither the man nor the woman seemed to notice her.  She looked down and saw an infant wrapped in some type of ornamental robe, somehow like Ardeth's, but not.

The infant looked like her Adnan.  He even had the same little black mark below his left ankle.  The baby was naked and ill protected against the elements.  A sudden crackling noise drew Leven's attention away from the baby.  Ardeth/not Ardeth was gone in a blinding flash of light and through a heavy smell of ozone.  She watched as the dark woman raised her hands to the sky and literally roared.  Her roar shook the earth like an earthquake, a fourteen on the Richter scale.  The woman stepped up to the infant and unwrapped him from the protection of his father's robes.  As her hand drew closer, Leven cried out.  She didn't know who this woman was, but she intended to hurt her son.  It was obvious in her eyes.  Had she hurt Azizah?  Where was her daughter?  Leven screamed as the woman's hand aimed for the tiny head of her baby.  Just before she took it into her fist, she stopped and stood back.  She lifted the baby's leg and gazed at the black mark.  Throwing her head back and laughing, Leven heard the words "King" and "Ardeth" as she gazed upon the child.  Was this baby her Adnan?  The woman lifted the child and Leven saw something odd.  It was a strange birthmark; not like the one under the baby's ankle, but one she had seen more than once on her husband's naked body.  Ironically, it was the shape of a scimitar blade just inside the baby's thigh.  Her son didn't have such a birthmark, but Ardeth did.  Was this Ardeth?  This child so like her baby?  It had to be, but how was she seeing this?  Why was she seeing this?  Who was the man and the woman?  Leven had seen pictures of Ardeth's father, Lufti, and there was no resemblance whatsoever.  There wasn't one with his mother, either.  Unless…

Leven found herself running back, chasing the woman with the baby.  She stood back and watched as the black haired woman dropped the baby in front of an adobe structure.  She then turned, snapped her fingers, and disappeared.  All around her, she looked for the woman, but did not see her.  Quickly, Leven ran toward the infant and gazed upon him.  Yes, he was just like her Adnan, but also a bit different.  She wanted to pick him up, but wasn't sure what the consequences of that action would be.  However, she shrugged them away and leaned down to take the baby into her arms.  He felt heavier than Adnan, as if he was full-term.  He lay in her arms gurgling and cooing, so beautiful.  The eyes.  His identity was in the eyes.  She was gazing upon her husband as an infant.  She didn't understand why this was happening to her.  Gently, she laid the baby down and wondered what she should do.  Before an answer came to her, a man came out of the structure.  Lufti.  He gazed down at the baby curiously, whispering, "Ardeth."  He called out a command in Arabic and a few moments later, she saw another familiar face.  Cantara.  Cantara took the baby as Lufti left.  Leven followed closely on his heels.  She must know what was going on.  She didn't understand, she didn't understand anything in this strange dream. 

She nearly ran into Lufti's back as he stood staring down at a pallet, much like the one she and Ardeth had.  She moved from around his body so she could see what had drawn his attention.  She covered her mouth with her hand to hold back the scream.  The dark woman she had seen with the baby was lying next to Ardeth/not Ardeth.  Their bodies were entwined, her fingers curled around his long hair.  If not for the carnage, the scene would have been touching.  It would have been very close to something she and Ardeth often did when they lay in bed.  However, both of them were covered in blood, slaughtered as they slept.  Why had the baby been spared?  Leven wanted to look away, but she couldn't.  Her eyes were drawn to the left ankle of the man's leg.  There was a black mark, just like the one both Ardeth and Adnan had.  The horror of what she saw had the capacity to drive her mad, but she had to look, had to see.  She approached the couple and gazed down upon them.  The man so like her Ardeth had a few differences here and there.  The woman entwined with him had the lips that Ardeth had inherited.  She ached to reach out and touch the man and his wife.  Who were these people?  Ardeth's parents?  Impossible.  Ardeth's parents were Lufti and Cantara.  Yet, hadn't Ardeth once told her that he was a 'community' child of sorts until the age of eleven?  Did he realize that Lufti and Cantara weren't his parents?  Did he?  From behind, she heard a voice calling her name.

Leven turned around abruptly, but there was no one there.  However, she had heard a voice, she knew she had.  It began to boom toward her again:  Your Ardeth has the mark, as his father before him.  If I cannot have Ardeth, I will take your son, he has the mark as well.  Sacrifice your husband to me or your entire family will be slaughtered like Altair and Leilah Bay.  He must rule with me as my King.  I will have no other.  Until he consents, I will torment his dreams, and he shall torment you.  You have Hathos and Isis guarding you, but I have ways of working past them.  I am Raiyur and I will send you back to your time and you will never see your children again.  Give your husband to me.  Give him to me now.  Who was Raiyur?  She had never heard of Raiyur before in her life.  Altair?  Leilah?  Who were they?  Were they Ardeth's parents?  Stop reflecting you fool.  Get back to your body and your mind and make preparations to bring your mortal man to me.  She would never sacrifice her husband or her son to anyone.  You are an idiot, Seer.  I shall send you to your time and will have free reign with the Medjai Chieftain.  I torment the Chieftain.  He torments you.

*  *  *

The wailing cry of an infant brought Leven out of her strange dream.  At first, she thought it was the crying of the baby in her dream.  She felt the familiar full/dull ache in her breasts.  The babies needed to nurse.  Before she got up, she glanced over at Ardeth.  He was sleeping peacefully, with not an ounce of distress on his face.  She brought herself to her feet to tend to her babies.  If one was crying, the other was sure to follow.  This time, it was Adnan who began squalling first.  She picked him up and carried him over to another pallet in the floor specifically set up for her to nurse the babies.  She released the ties to her gown and dropped it past her right breast.  The baby latched on quickly.  She tried not to focus on negative things as she fed her baby, but she couldn't help it.  It was disturbing and strange.  She had never had such a dream since giving birth.  By the time Adnan was sated, Azizah began to squall.

A noise forced Leven to look up.  Ardeth stood watching her with their daughter.  As he had done many, many times since the babies were born, he joined her on the pallet, sitting behind her.  She had just switched sides with Azizah and she latched onto Leven's left breast.  He kissed the side of Leven's throat and ran his hand gently down the arm holding onto their daughter.  He slipped his under hers to help support the baby.  He knew she was exhausted.  When the babies were stubborn, nursing them could become a chore.  He watched with a gentle smile as the baby worked furiously at Leven's nipple, her tiny fists clutched tightly.  Leven felt the comfort of Ardeth's arms around her and the heat radiating from his body.  She loved feeling the solid wall of his body against hers.  With a brief little cry, Azizah indicated that she had had enough.  With a brief kiss to Leven's shoulder, Ardeth drew her nightgown up back over her shoulder.  He took the baby from her arms and patted her back gently.  He gazed at his wife for a moment and noticed a look of concern on her face.  He hadn't seen this often, but when he did, it always disturbed him.  Once the little one's stomach was soothed, he stood and laid her down.  He glanced briefly over at his son.  Adnan had fallen back asleep and didn't seem to have a care in the world.  When he turned toward Leven again, he noticed that she seemed a bit lost in thought.

He presented his hand to her and she smiled a little and took it into hers.  He helped her up to her feet and stood with her for a moment.  She wanted to lie back down and had actually tried to pull away.  However, he wouldn't release her.  He held onto her and gazed into her eyes.  She held his gaze, disbelieving that she had actually looked upon him as an infant.  An old cliché existed that said the eyes were the windows to the soul.  She had never bought into that bullshit until she met Ardeth Bay.  His eyes were just that.  Even in a dream, she knew them, touched them, and climbed inside.  He wasn't an idiot by far.  He understood that the babies kept her worn out nearly all day and night, but her behavior tonight had nothing to do with exhaustion.  It was more than obvious.  They couldn't speak in here, not unless they wanted to wake the babies.  Instead of trying to pull away from him, she tugged on his hand and led him back.  They sat down together on the pallet and said nothing.  As much as Ardeth before her, she wasn't sure if she could approach the subject of her dream.  It was terrifying and had brought many questions into her mind.  The most important, of course, was the matter of his parentage.  Dare she ask him?  It didn't escape her that the names began with "A" and "L," thinking that, perhaps, she had simply inserted them into her dream.  Yet, the couple wasn't them and the infant wasn't theirs.  It was more than obvious they had had some tie to Ardeth, but the man wasn't her husband, not exactly.  He only looked like him, with the exception of his lips.

"I suppose I'm having my own dreams," she said.

Ardeth continued to hold a gaze with her and grew more concerned than ever before.  When he dreamed, it meant nothing, especially after he and Leven reunited, married, and had the babies.  However, when she had a dream, it was somewhat different.  She had some type of gift and he didn't doubt that it was she calling to him all along, not Sharîk.  That it was she who had inherently known of the curse and summoned him.  Her great-grandmother had played a role, but not the significant one they had first thought.  It was something that could not be ignored.  He touched her cheek, his large hand nearly engulfing half of it.  She raised her hand and placed it onto his.  She knew what he was thinking.  All she had to do was say the word 'dreams' and he'd immediately worry.  She supposed her gift was a curse as well.  She began to regret saying anything about it. 

"What are these dreams," he asked.

She took his hand down from her face and held it in both of her own.  "They don't seem like the others.  They're different."  Was that true?  Was she telling the complete truth?  She didn't like lying to her husband, but she also didn't want to send him off into a blind panic.  In the back of her mind, she remembered the names:  Altair, Leilah, and Raiyur.  "I don't think you need to put on such a serious face, though."  As soon as Ardeth was out of her presence, she'd search in her grandfather's journal and his book.  Perhaps there, she would find the answers she needed.  There would come a day, very soon, when Ardeth would have to leave her again.  If he saw her thumbing through the ancient book and journal, he'd know something was wrong.  He wasn't convinced; it was more than obvious.  She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead.  "Really, Ardeth, you don't have to worry.  I had a dream and then Adnan woke me up with his amazing lungs.  He must have gotten that war cry from you," she said with a little smile.

"Leven, are you sure," he asked.  "You seem so lost, your eyes so vacant, and your lips are quivering just the slightest bit.  I see all this and wonder if you are hiding something from me.  I cannot force you to tell me what is inside your heart or mind, but as your husband, as the man who loves you deeply, I want you to tell me anything that might be hurting you.  I know the type of dream that torments you, and from the look in your eyes, this dream is doing exactly that."

She released his hand and hers ran over his chest.  "I was dreaming of the babies," she said, hating herself tremendously for the lie she told her husband.  "It was one of those dreams new mothers have sometimes.  I'm constantly thinking that something will happen to them.  I think Adnan had been crying for a while and it imprinted in my brain and made me dream.  I'm okay, Ardeth.  It's nothing."

He wasn't altogether convinced that she was telling the whole truth, but for now, he could accept it.  If he pressed the issue, she would only become stubborn and refuse to speak to him further.  He nodded.  "All right."  He placed his own gentle kiss on her forehead and lay back. 

Good job, you idiot.  He laid his heart out to you, and what did you do?  You gave him a line of bullshit and expected him to swallow it.  This selfless man is the best thing to ever happen to you and you stomp all over him.  She lay back next to him and could literally feel the barrier of hurt surrounding his body.  She turned to her side and propped up on her elbow.  "I know I hurt you.  I'm not trying to shut you out, but would you give me a little time to explore my dream before I share it?  I want to make sure it means something before I speak of it.  I was dishonest and I'm sorry."

He turned his head and glanced at her.  "I knew it was something more than what you said.  I understand your need to look into it, and I will not push you."  He leaned up to face her.  "I love you, Leven, you are my wife.  Your pain, strife, struggle, happiness, sadness, and love are inside me whenever you feel it.  Whatever it is that you find, you must tell me, Leven, you must." 

Ardeth leaned over and kissed her, groaning slightly as Leven molded her body against his, her fingers immediately going into his hair.  Since he had returned, they had made so much love, but his hunger was never sated.  As he drew her nightgown off and away from her body, the dreams that had plagued him never entered his mind.  Never a harsh thought came to the surface.  His touch was just as gentle as it always was.  When he entered her, he slid inside her slowly, enjoying the sensation of slipping into her just a little bit at a time until he was fully sheathed inside.  There was no need to jab at her as if she were some unspeakable foe, no need to rip or tear.  He brought her to shuddering climax time and time again, her soft cries silenced by his kisses.  He actually liked hearing her cries, liked the evidence of her pleasure echoing in the room around him, but it wasn't practical with two infants.  He loved his children, loved being a father, but for a moment, he didn't want anything to interrupt this most intimate moment between him and his wife.  He couldn't help but pull away from her mouth just a moment as he felt perilously close to his own release.  His wife, his Leven, always seemed to sense it the same as he, and she worked mercilessly to help him reach it.  Oh, how he longed to have the desire to control it, to manage it, to make it last as long as he wanted.  However, his body had betrayed him more than once, and his wife had wicked ways of aiding that betrayal.  She would envelop his body, dig her nails into his shoulders or back or buttocks, or she would nip his flesh [usually his ear], that alone had the ability to send him over.  Then there were times when her body would match his thrust by mad thrust, and the excited movements were often the catalyst toward his release.  Tonight, however, she had taken the 'softer' approach.  Her nails dug into him and the sweat rolling off his back stung the fresh grooves she had furrowed there.  Her breathing had taken on a panting quality and the sound of it in his ear prickled him, nearly sending him over the edge, but not quite.  His mouth covered hers again as she began to cry out just a bit.  The moment his body froze in its timeless euphoria, his lips released hers only for a brief moment, as he took in a deep, hissing breath.  Seconds later, her lips were desperately seeking his, wanting them back upon hers.  His lips gave over to hers, and each nibbled on the other's, as if dueling.  Once her tongue touched his, they each gave up the fight and surrendered to their bliss.

He didn't immediately move away from her or break the kiss.  He couldn't.  He absolutely could not.  If they continued, he might want her again.  It was possible, it had happened more than once since they'd been together.  He finally broke the kiss, but stayed where he was.  He lay over her, leaning on his elbows, with his arms on either side of her head.  His breathing slowed and the euphoria began to fade little by little into the quiet, loving aftermath.  He was so close to her and she liked this closeness, liked when he made love to her this way.  He was always passionate and giving, but there were times she literally felt as if she were a part of him.  It wasn't that he was reserved or conservative about it, but when they made love like this, he gave of himself so completely that she wasn't even sure if he knew where he was.

A very brief flash of his dream played in Ardeth's mind.  It wasn't an image that would send him into his frenzy, but it was enough to bother him.  He began to wonder if he'd ever make love to his wife like this again.