Silence

By: Silent Lullaby

I hold no claim to Gundam wing. However the story is mine.

****
I haven't been feeling particularly well as of late. I'm not sick, the weather was rather nice this weekend and I was able to do write and draw something I haven't had much time for in the past few weeks. You would think I should be happy.

However I'm seeing how mortal my family is. There have been three deaths in my family this week and now I worry. My grandparents take several prescriptions and have multiple surgeries, something that never would have happened only a few years ago. My surviving great grand mother needs heart surgery but at the same time it's becoming clear she can't care for herself properly anymore. My great aunt Pam is suffering from cancer, my step father from degenerative back disease, even my pets are growing older and passing on.

I hate the idea of not having the people I care for most not being around. It scares me to no end. It's not just that either, I hate the fact that by the time I'm ready to tell them certain aspects of myself, they won't be around to hear it. My family for all its quirks and black sheep is conservative and catholic. At the same time I'm rather liberal in though and worse, a gay fifteen year old boy with too many secrets. I shouldn't be in the eleventh grade, writing books and music for fun. I hate keeping secrets from my family but I don't want to end up like my Uncle Harry and "Uncle" Steve.
No one in the family talks to them much, though I write letters and at family gatherings I call Steve my uncle because he's as much family to me as my Uncles and Aunts who married into the family.

I don't want to hurt my family and destroy their expectations that I'll marry and have kids like a normal person, but I'm not normal so I'll keep my secrets to protect them and I'll hope someday I'll tell them and they might possibly accept it.

****

It's been a week since I finished repairing the small music box. Its wood is polished so that even in the palest light it gleams. After much tinkering I made it play, it's tune no longer slow and solemn but a soft loving song, almost like a mother's lullaby wishing for her child's inner demons to sleep and melt away into less than a memory.

The last thing was returning the figurines to the beauty they must have had when the box was new. I have carefully painted and polished them. Re-carving their forms and plastering the cracks and chips so that they no longer seemed like broken and forgotten children but rather fairy like apparitions.

The girl dancer's hair had been too badly chipped, so rather than restore it I clipped it short. The tutu had also been eaten away by moths. The long haired man in the cape and crow like mask also had lost his long locks.

After restoration I had been surprised that the dancer now looked like Quatre in a white outfit, feathers ties to his waist and golden hair. The crow was also oddly familiar with mussed brown hair but with the mask shading most of his face I couldn't tell who it was.
Now all that was left was to give it to Quatre.

Gathering my courage I placed the music box into a sunset colored cloth bag, pulling the draw strings tight and tying a simple bow. I carried it as if it were made of the most fragile of spun glass as I made my way out of my chambers and down the hall to Quatre's door.

****

Once again I found myself polishing Heero's gift. I knew that no dust still clung to it, no stain could have held up after a week of daily cleanings. It was rather a way of stealing time.

I wanted to give it o Heero, but I couldn't help but fear that it might not be good enough for him, or that he might take it the wrong way. Yet the gift reminded me so much of Heero that I felt I had to give it to him.

The chest was nice enough but it was its contents that were special. A pendent cut from flawless jade laid in its wooden confines. Instead of a chain a ribbon of deep green with silver moon phases was tied to it.

Standing up and placing the chest in a sea colored bag I stood at my door. Taking a deep breath I opened the door.