Characters: mostly the characters of 'Passions', some of the CAST and ex- cast members of 'Passions', Melissa Doyle, Chris Reason, David Koch, Natalie Barr, Adam Digby, (FOR NON-AUSTRALIANS: these guys are Australian TV Personalities), Rhea McKinlay, Amy Walters. (Rhea and Amy are FICTITIOUS though).

[PLEASE NOTE: this chapter is fairly Gwen-centric. I will be returning to Kaguel shortly. I just thought I'd move on to some other Harmony residents for while. Also, don't worry Theresa fans, there ISN'T much Theresa-dissing (not TOOOO much...just a little...hehe sorry) cos I don't really hate Theresa, she's alright]

Chapter 4

Okay, later ZC.

Good old Tabby does indeed get the better of bad old Zombie Charity and decimates her into oblivion. First Kay and Miguel clap for joy and give Tabitha a thumbs-up. Miguel gets back to cooking up his scheme to get Kay into bed so he can get her pregnant so that she would stay with him instead of waltzing off with Reese.

Meanwhile...

[Cut to a different part of town:

At the Book Cafe, Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald is moping for his precious 'Diana' over a cup of coffee and a Mills-&-Boon (no, he's not gay, he's just DESPARATELY in need of ideas), trying to figure out how to deal with the recent announcement by Luis that his Diana was in fact Luis's Sheridan. In walks Gwen and heads over to the counter to order her coffee, "Hey! Pssssst! Natalie!" she hears and looks around, puzzled. She sees two women close to her age - perhaps a couple of years younger - seated at a table nearest to the counter and right by the door. One of them gestures to her with her finger. Natalie Zea points to herself questioningly and the woman nods. She walks over. Both girls whisper frantically to her. Gwen nods, beginning to grin. She sits down at their table to wait for her next scene.]

"Hey handsome!" Antonio heard somebody say. "Hey! That's not in the script!" thought Christopher Douglas, confused. When he looked up, he completely forgot the rest of the script and all the scenes he had to do that day, "Umm.. who are you?" he asked the beautiful brunette who stood there with a clipboard, a pen and a flirty grin on her face, "I'm Amy and you're about to receive a personality make-over! Well, Antonio is, anyway. You just have to make sure the changes carry through. Here's your new script" she said, leaving him flabbergasted as she began to walk off. Then she stopped and turned "oh, and don't worry about Reily - he'll get over it. in a couple hundred years time!" Christopher looked over to the entrance of the Book Café, where he knew one of his co-stars, Natalie Zea would be arriving soon, if she hadn't already. He saw her at the table that Amy, the gorgeous brunette he'd just met was walking to. Another pretty girl was sitting there - a blonde. "Hmmmm.. There's definitely some strange stuff going on in Harmony today" he thought.

"Gweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!! Gweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! Theresa's died AGAIN!!!!!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" came the whining voice, "And I don't think she's coming back to life this time! Oh what oh what am I going to do?" The moans were coming from just outside the Book Café. "Here we go again," thought Natalie Zea, to herself, sighing deeply, "oh, well, here goes.. watch out Edumb - there's a new Gwen in town!"

Amy and Rhea were long gone from the table. Natalie thought to herself, "I can do this. I can stand up for Gwen". Ethan entered and practically dropped onto his knees beside Gwen, "Gwen, please, I really need you! Promise me you'll be there for me!". Gwen rolled her eyes, "Let's go to the park near the grave where Theresa's been buried and we'll talk about this" said Gwen.

[Eric Martsolf was slightly startled when Gwen rolled her eyes. He thought, "Ok, was that Gwen rolling her eyes or is the constant mockery of the character finally taking its toll on Natalie?]

At the park, Gwen specifically chose for them to sit on the ledge jutting out from and running all round the large water fountain. There was a strange gleam in her eye that neither Ethan nor his alter ego Eric could figure out, "Ok, what is she up to?" Eric thought. He began to deliver his lines, "Oh Gwen, it's horrible! I don't know how I'm going to LIVE without her!!!!" "Then don't" said Gwen. Eric's jaw dropped, "I mean, you can just go bury yourself with her in her grave" suggested Gwen casually, "oh, wait! Maybe you can go ask Tabitha or Hecuba or someone to send you down to hell so you can salvage her wretched soul!" "Nat- I mean Gwen! Wha-? You're supposed to be comforting me! You're supposed to be my doormat! You're supposed to - to - " Eric didn't even know what he was saying anymore. He had forgotten all his lines, "Er- er - Gwen - you have to comfort me!" Gwen rolled her eyes, "okay, okay, alright, but I'm going to need some help from someone special," she said. "Someone special? Who?" demanded Ethan, Eric deciding to play along since nobody was yelling "cut!" or anything like that. "My secret lover" replied Gwen. Each of Ethan's eyes widened to the size of a football, "Why you - how DARE you!" Ethan grabbed Gwen by both her arms and shook her as he would have if Gwen had said her scripted lines like she was supposed to, which would have been something nasty or derogatory about Theresa, "Let go of her!" came a voice from behind Ethan. Two arms grabbed Ethan from behind and pulled him away from Gwen.

The person who had grabbed Ethan spun him around and Ethan found himself facing Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald, "Yes, that's right! I'M Gwen's secret lover! Oh, and to add insult to injury - I NEVER loved your precious former aunt Sheridan! I always knew who she was - I had seen her pictures in magazines and read about her being friends with the late Princess Diana! I was only using her for her name and her wealth! THAT'S why I was upset when I discovered she wouldn't marry me because she loved Luis. I've been secretly seeing Gwen for a long time now!" Ethan was dumbfounded. "Great! Now let's 'comfort' him" said Gwen. She and Antonio shoved Ethan straight into the fountain and walked off arm in arm.

As soon as they rounded the corner where Amy and Rhea were waiting for them, Natalie Zea and Christopher Douglas burst out laughing, "Those were some of the best scenes our poor characters have ever had!" said Natalie, "I could hardly keep a straight face!" said Christopher. "Congratulations!" said Rhea, "You guys did well!" "Now, how would you guys like to see Ethan's amusing, upcoming plight?" asked Amy, "We'd love to!" said both Natalie and Christopher.



[Well, I have quite a scenario planned for Ethan ahead. (it involves Theresa quite a bit!) PLEASE review! And ROBIN: Update your kaguel fic "Drama Queen" soon PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!! I'm anxious to read more!]