** Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Gilmore Girls. If I were that all powerful then Jess would be staying put! So, in summation... Please don't sue me!**
February 2000
Rory sat, playing with an elastic hair tie. She wasn't listening to Dr. Jones,
who was talking about nothing just as much as he always seemed to.
She looked up at him. She didn't know why she disliked him so much. Maybe it
was because he had been the psychiatrist she'd had to see before they'd let
her go home from the hospital. Or maybe it was because he didn't talk like a
normal human being.
He'd say things like "Paint a picture of how your week has been." When all
he really needed to say was "So Rory, how was your week?"
His first concern seemed to be getting her back to school. He seemed to think it
wise to throw her back in at the deep end and see if she'd sink or swim.
He didn't seem to grasp the idea that school, the pressure, the politics… it
was all part of the reason she'd tried to take her own life. A small part, but
it was still significant.
She looked back down at her hair tie. Doctor Jones, Jones, calling Doctor
Jones. Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones wake up now. She sang in her head. She
hated the band, and she hated the song. But she couldn't help hearing it in
her head when she was in his presence.
Rory left his office an hour later. She felt drained. He'd done most of the
talking. She sardonically thought that she was sure it was the point to the
weekly boredom sessions.
"How'd it go." Lorelai asked him.
"Great, I think we made some real progress. Don't you?" He smiled at Rory.
She smiled back and nodded. Bite me.
"Great!" Smiled Lorelai as she put an arm around Rory. "Thanks Dr. Jones,
we'll see you next week." She said gratefully.
Rory waited until he was gone.
"No." She said, pushing the doors open and stepping out into the cold
February air.
"No?" Frowned Lorelai, following close behind. "No what?"
"No, we won't see him next week. I am not going back in there again. It's
like torture. Seriously mom. If I didn't feel depressed when I went in there,
I sure do now. It's enough to make anyone wanna' throw themselves off of a
bridge."
Lorelai looked down at the thin layer of snow on the ground. Rory sighed,
wishing she could take back the last part of her rant.
"Ok, so… we'll find someone new." Said Lorelai softly. "I just want
you better. Soon." She said, hugging her daughter.
Lorelai was true to her word. They went to a few different people. People who called themselves 'Mental Health Care Professionals'. Others who preferred 'Emotional Healers'. And a few who were 'Counselors'.
Rory didn't connect with any of them. They either talked too much, or not enough. Some sat and stared at her in silence for the entire hour, as if they expected a breakthrough to happen at any second.
But the last one, Jenny, wasn't like the others. She actually listened. She didn't seem to look down on Rory and treat her like 'Case Study #34'.
Her office was full of trinkets and photo's. She had a strange alien clock made out of foam. All the others had potted plants and Psychology books.
Jenny didn't analyze her. She treated their weekly sessions like a coffee break. They were just there to talk about anything Rory wanted.
After 9 months of 'therapy', Rory felt ready to go it alone. Her last session with Jenny was scary for her. She felt odd as she left the office. It was like riding a bike for the first time without training wheels.
The ride was smooth for a month or so afterwards. She was back in school full time, and she felt better.
But as the anniversary of that day approached, she started to feel like she was losing her grip again. She kept hearing Dr. Jones' voice in her head, telling her that the majority of people who attempt suicide are more likely to do it again within a year of the first time, than they are for the rest of their lives.
January 9th. 36 days away. Not quite a year. It was all she could think about.
On New Years day, Rory paced outside the bathroom, waiting for her mother to get out of the shower. Tears gathered in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks as she thought about what she was going to say.
"Hey babe." Lorelai smiled, as she came out of the bathroom with a towel around her.
"Mom. I think I need to go back to see Jenny." She cried, feeling like a failure.
"Ok… we'll make an appointment." Nodded Lorelai, hugging her daughter tightly. She was glad that this time, she had asked for help.
