** Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Gilmore Girls. If I were that all powerful then Jess would be staying put! So, in summation... Please don't sue me!**
Rory used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe the
tears from her eyes. She closed her bedroom door and rested against it.
At some point that day, she'd lost control. And her first instinct was to
e-mail Jess. So she did.
Jess,
Everything's going wrong again. Things are just so...unsettled. I just wish I
could get away, I mean, give me a place to go and I'm set, I could leave and
never go back. I keep thinking about leaving, just getting on a bus…
Why does it have to be like this?
Please help me.
Rory.
She hit send and took a deep breath. It would be ok. He'd reply and she'd be
ok.
That's how it had been going for the last few weeks. She e-mailed him
everyday, and he always replied. There had been times where she felt ok, and
they had just talked about random things, nothing important. But when she needed
to talk, he always managed to say the right thing.
There was a knock on her door and Lorelai came in.
"Hey, you didn't finish your dinner." She frowned, concerned.
"I wasn't really hungry." Sighed Rory. It was true. She didn't have any
appetite.
"Well, I'll leave it in the fridge, you can heat it up later if you change
your mind."
"Thanks." Rory smiled gratefully.
Lorelai hugged her tightly.
"You know how much I love you, don't you?" She asked.
"Of course I do." Said Rory, confused.
"And I'm always here for you."
"I know." Rory laughed gently.
"Good."
Lorelai pulled back slightly and kissed Rory on the cheek.
"G'night Sweetie."
"Night mom."
Lorelai shut the door gently, as if Rory was already asleep and she didn't
want to wake her. Rory wished it were true. She knew she was going to spend the
night laying in bed awake. Thinking too much, spiraling downwards. She closed
her eyes and tried to relax.
Jess tapped his fingers on the desk lightly, He had just finished reading Rory's last e-mail and he wanted to calm her down, without sounding like he was repeating anything he'd said the other times.
Rory,
I hope you know that this isn't your fault. Bad things happen and you just have to do what you can to deal with it and move on... It's hard but possible.
It's okay to not understand, some things can be changed. Others can't.
I understand, I really do. I've been there, and I'm still getting over it. Keep talking to me. Talking is a good way to calm things down.
Please don't run away Rory, It takes strength to fight back like you are doing now. I have seen too many people live and die on the streets. You don't want to end up there. I live in New York. I've seen hundreds of homeless people. The streets are a hard place to end up.
Things will work out. That may not mean a lot now, but it's the truth.
I'm here if you want to talk. Remember that. Maybe I can't offer advice that will change your world, but I am here for you...
Always,
Jess.
"How's she doing." Asked Luke, pouring two cups of coffee.
Lorelai looked over at Rory. She was sitting in a seat by the window, staring out. She looked thoughtful. Not sad, but not happy either.
"I honestly don't know. She's been doing better, I think. She seems happier some days. Others aren't so great." She sighed and Luke nodded.
"Can I do anything? I mean… I'm not a shrink or anything… I'm not offering professional help…"
Lorelai smiled gratefully and put her hand on his.
"Thank You, Luke."
He smiled back and nodded.
"Any time, anything you need." He looked over at Rory. "Either of you."
March 2001
It had been almost two months since they had started talking, and they were getting to be really good friends.
Rory was back in 'therapy'. It was definitely helping. Jenny was the only person in her life that knew about Jess. She didn't know how to explain it to anyone else.
Rory sat down at her lap top and smiled, knowing there would be an e-mail from Jess. If she e-mailed him in the morning, he e-mailed back in the evening. If she e-mailed him in the evening, she always woke up to an e-mail from him the next morning.
She opened the e-mail from him and frowned slightly as she read.
You didn't wake up this morning 'cos you didn't go to bed,
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red,
The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off.
You've been reading some old letters,
You smile and think how much you've changed,
All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days.
You pull back your curtains and the sun burns into your eyes,
You watch a plane flying across the clear blue sky,
This is the day your life will surely change,
This is the day when things fall into place.
Good Morning, Rory.
She smiled widely. She'd been feeling something different the last few weeks. She'd been feeling more excited by the idea of receiving his e-mails. Before it was a need. She needed to hear from him, to stay sane. Now it was that, and more. It was a want. She wanted to hear from him.
She leaned back in her chair, just looking at his e-mail.
