Entry Six
I prefer night landings. Even if my Master had not decreed it, I would have chosen it. As I descended into Tatooine's atmosphere I could see the many lights of the spaceports and the occasional lone light from a moisture farm. Night shows things that day cannot. The glare of the sun can hide and the sand can camouflage. But most creatures, preferring light over darkness, reveal themselves at night.
The twin suns had almost completely set by the time I landed my ship on an isolated mesa near one of the spaceports, Mos Espa. There is a large pod race tomorrow in Mos Espa and I'm venturing to guess that the Jedi are there. I can sense their presence not too far away.
My sensor sweep of the area told me that there were no life forms near my landing for at least twenty kilometers. I activated the ship's security system to alert me if any life forms pass within fifteen kilometers of my ship.
I left my ship for a moment to look at my surroundings. I could almost see the spaceport's lights below me, just out of my viewing distance. I checked the area with my electro-binoculars to see if my sensors had missed anything. Just an extra check to make sure, though I saw nothing but sand dunes. I was able to make out the outskirts of the spaceport about thirty kilometers away.
It was there I sent my probe droids. With the Jedi so close I could not risk searching for them myself. I downloaded information on the two Jedi sent to Naboo during the flight into the droids and they are programmed to return to my ship immediately with the exact location of the Jedi. I am confident that by this time tomorrow the two Jedi will have been eliminated and I will be on my way to Naboo with the Queen.
I returned to my ship to meditate and dress my wound. As soon as I was inside I sealed up the ship and sat in a small, empty room.
Before I dressed my wound I meditated. I focused on the pain in my leg until it became fiercer. Intensifying the pain intensifies my rage and turns it into power I can use to heal myself.
There is no pain where there is strength.
My Master once told me that the Jedi view pain differently. They embrace it, thanking it for alerting them to the fact that they have been wounded and need to care for themselves. Any fool with eyes can see when they have been wounded.
I applied the bacta and dressings and returned to meditating. This time I let my mind drift back to the day my life changed; the day I became a Sith.
It was years ago. I was old enough to feel that I was already full grown but young enough not to know what that meant. I do not know how old I was, age is unimportant. I do not track my development or maturity in such meaningless ways. Therefore it was not my age that told my Master that I was ready, but my strength and ability to use the Force. The Jedi take trials to become Knights. The Sith are tested before they become true apprentices.
For fourteen days I took a series of physical tests; lightsabre duels, endurance exercises, fasting. In many tests I was blindfolded or inside of a sensory deprivation suit. It was the most grueling fourteen days of my life and by the time it was over I was physically exhausted.
It was then I found out that my test had just begun.
'I am sending you to a planet in the Outer Rim,' my Master told me. 'It is made up of three kinds of terrain: desert, swamp, and mountains. You will have several matches on each terrain. I have sent a fleet of assassin droids to attack you. Each are programmed differently; some will work together, others will work alone. They are all programmed to kill.'
My Master's words surprised me. In a quiet voice he continued, 'I am prepared to kill you, Maul, if you are not able to complete this test. And you must be prepared to die in order to win.'
I nodded, still slightly shocked at his words. 'I understand, my Master.'
'You must survive for a month. You will have only a survival pack.'
Despite my exhaustion I was exhilarated. I started my journey with all the confidence of youth. I never believed it would be easy becoming a Sith. The value of anything is measured by effort. I was ready to prove myself to my Master.
I realize now how young I was. I could not have known what waited for me on that remote world.
I landed on the planet and immediately began my test. The difficulty was far greater than anything I could have imagined. There was perhaps one night that I was not awakened by an attack, and by that time I was too paranoid to let myself fall asleep. I tried to keep count of the number of droids I destroyed but each battle blended into the next. It was during one of these battles that I lost my survival pack and had to kill and forage for food.
After a time the days and nights began to blur together. I no longer measured time by the setting of the red sun but by each moment I survived. I rarely had time to rest between the battles and having to hunt. I grew thin as my strength began to leave me. Each battle was more difficult than the last until finally I was wounded by two of the droids. I managed to drag myself to a cave where I was relatively protected from any sort of attack. My side burned but I lost little blood since blaster wounds cauterize almost instantly. The biggest problem with blaster wounds is that, under the best of circumstances, they take weeks to heal. I did not have weeks, and I did not have bacta. The best I could do was use my outer tunic to make bandages to bind the wound.
The wound festered, the pain increasing tenfold. The days I spent in the cave felt like months. I was too weak to hunt or forage and I could not leave the cave to find water. I could hear the assassin droids hunting around outside the cave and I knew I would not survive another skirmish.
I felt my life-force slowly ebbing from me. I began to doubt myself, my reasons for coming, my ability to survive. By the time my Lord Sidious appeared at the mouth of the cave I had convinced myself that I would not survive.
When I first saw my Master I was not sure it was really him. It was not until he grabbed my tunic and lifted me to my feet that I realized just how weak I was. My legs gave out under me and I slumped against the wall.
'It is time for your final battle,' my Master informed me.
Whatever relief I felt at my Master's appearance flew away with his words. I could not even stand, much less fight. Yet his power over me was so complete that his will gave me the strength to stand on my own. I started then to gather the Force into me, first slowly, then opening myself up to its dark currents. Slowly I felt strength begin to trickle back into me. My wound was beyond hurting, but any movement was stiff and restricted. Once my legs were sturdy underneath me I forced myself to look into my Master's eyes.
'I am ready, my Master.' I could hardly form the words in my mouth.
I saw my Master smile slightly. I stood there, confused, half expecting ten assassin droids to appear behind him. Then he reached into the folds of his robe and pulled out his lightsabre. My mind did not register what he intended to do with it until I saw the red beam extend from the silver hilt.
I felt angry, betrayed. My own Master would kill me, for I knew I could not win. I have never been able to beat him, not healthy, and especially not so close to death.
My anger strengthened my hold on the Force, giving me the strength to draw my own weapon.
'You cannot be as pathetic as you look,' my Master taunted as I activated both ends of my lightsabre.
Before I had finished he raised his blade and attacked. I parried the blow and used the shock from our clashing blades to reversed the direction of my weapon and sweep at him with the other blade. But he was already gone by the time I had completed the attack. The rapid motion threw me off balance and the cave walls spun.
I heard his laughter behind me. 'I take it back,' he said. 'You are that pathetic.'
As I turned to face him he lowered his weapon and attacked me with words. He told me that I was weak, not worthy of being a Sith Lord. He said he had misjudged me.
Blind with rage I tried to attack him. He dodged me dismissively and I fell back against the cave wall. It was painfully obvious to me that he was toying with me, using my anger to get a reaction. I knew he could kill me in a heartbeat, and yet he did not. He stood before me, sabre lowered to his side, and looked down on me with disdain. I am certain I was a pathetic sight, stripped down to my inner tunic, caked with grime and blood, looking nothing like a Sith Lord.
My Master slowly told me that he had expected my failure. He had seen my weakness long ago. Then he informed me that secretly, over the years, he had been training another apprentice, one who was stronger than I.
Through my dry, cracked lips I pointed out that more than one apprentice was against the code.
'That's right,' he said. 'A spark of intelligence at last.'
He told me that the second apprentice was on the other side of the planet. He had defeated all the assassin droids and had not sustained more than a flesh wound.
'Unlike the pathetic, weak creature I see before me. I cannot believe it was I who trained you. You're a disgrace,' he said with disgust.
I realized dully what he meant. I had not completed my test. There were still assassin droids left to be defeated. I had been wounded, the other apprentice had not. The other apprentice had succeeded where I had failed. He would become a Sith Lord. He would receive the honour I was due. He would reap the glory I had punished my body and disciplined my mind in order to receive. He had been chosen to succeed my Master.
The ball of anger in my chest exploded. I gritted my teeth as power rushed into me, power unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was an all consumeing torrent, ready to take over my mind and body. I was ready to let it.
My Master became not only my opponent, by my enemy. He had put me through all those years of brutal training, all the while knowing it would come to this. He betrayed me, abusing my loyalty and choosing another over me. I hated him for it. I would kill him for it.
'Can you take the next leap in logic?' Lord Sidious asked me contemptuously. 'Focus, Maul. If there can be only one apprentice than one of you must die. Who do you think I have chosen to die, Maul?'
My hatred and rage roared within me, pumping me full of the awesome power I had discovered within the Force. My wound no longer hindered me and my mind leapt into focus. My objective was clear and my enemy stood before me in the body of the man who had been my Master. One of us would not survive the battle, of that I was certain.
With a howl of rage I lunged at him, barely missing him. From deep inside the Force my strategy formed quickly and my movements were lightning fast. He parried my next blow, and the next, but I did not stop. I was not hindered by the size of the arena, nor did I stumble in my fatigue. When he parried the next blow he staggered under the force of it. I used reserves of power I had not known I had to launch and all out assault on him. I could feel our energies clash in the small cave, two titanic forces fighting to overcome eachother.
He parried each blow with less and less force. I believed I was beating him. Yet still he continued to taunt me. Before I was aware of it he had maneuvered me against the cave wall. My vision blurred as Lord Sidious raised his lightsabre. I parried the blow, but my lightsabre suddenly flew out of my hand and into the waiting hand of the Sith Lord. I realized that he had been only feigning weakness, all the while maneuvering me into a trap. He had only just begun to tap into his own reserves of power, whereas mine were all played out.
I knew I would be unable to deflect the next blow, the blow that would surely kill me. But I would not be so easily defeated. As I saw his lightsabre come toward me I lunged at him, body-checking him and grabbing hold of the arm that held his lightsabre. Even with my slight advantage he was still stronger than I. In a last desperate attempt to save myself I sunk my teeth into his arm, tasting his blood and spitting it back at him in contempt.
Angrily he threw me off of him and against the cave wall. The back of my head hit the cold stone and I stood momentarily dazed as he raised his lightsabre in attack. There was nothing I could do but let him kill me, but I would die with his blood on my lips.
The lightsabre came down and I waited for the moment of death. The blade struck my shoulder and I felt an instant of pain but the release never came.
Lord Sidious laughed and deactivated the lightsabre, returning it to its place inside his robes. It was set to minimum power, a training sabre. It did no more than bruise my shoulder.
My muscles failed me as I realized he had never meant to kill me. I leaned back against the wall to hide my weakness from my Master. My side had begun to bleed as I laboured for my breath. And still my Master laughed. I will never forget the sound of that laughter. It was mocking laughter, sinister and without mercy.
'Do you feel the hate?' he asked.
I nodded.
'It is the source of your power,' he said. 'Today you have delivered yourself into my hands. I have absolute power over you, Lord Maul. Someday you will hold the same power over another. It is the honour of the Sith.'
Still dazed and confused, I asked him about the other apprentice, but there was no other. It had been a lie, meant to goad me into using more and more of the dark energies of the Force.
'You have passed the test,' my Master told me as he tossed my deactivated lightsabre back to me.
I caught it reflexively and returned it to its place on my belt. I spit my Master's blood out of my mouth onto the cave floor, repulsed by the taste of it. My rage was cooling, but I still had not fully grasped what was happening.
My master fixed his gaze on me, an icy gaze that held all the power of the Force.
'From this day forward you are my apprentice, Lord Maul. You have been chosen for the glory of the Sith. You are my instrument.'
'Yes, my Master.'
'Your rage, you enjoyed it?' he asked. 'You enjoyed wanting to kill me?'
I nodded. 'Yes, my Master.'
He laughed again, but this time his laughter did not mock me or taunt me. 'You did well, Lord Maul,' he said. 'You did very well.'
By then my rage against him had completely left me, never to return.
