CHAPTER 4

"Hey Sam," Jed began as he made himself comfortable next to Sam's bed. He had convinced Ron Butterfield to let him come in alone.

To visit Sam with no secret service agent standing behind him to ready to pounce. Granted that was their jobs, it could get a bit annoying, especially when Jed just wanted to be alone to talk to Sam.

"Hey Sam," Jed started again. "You're worrying everyone. It's been four days since they took you off the drugs, you should wake sometime. Or are you taking your time so you won't have to deal with Crazy Josh, Harried Toby or Screaming CJ.Smart man. You must be tired from all the visitors you get.

I don't think you have gotten a moments peace since you arrived, which is probably the point. Leo comes early before work, which is before 4.a.m. After Leo comes Bonnie, Ginger, Margaret, Donna, Charlie, Carol or Cathy. They switch off all day, doing who knows what. CJ comes after her evening briefing, Toby after that. Last is Josh, he comes after work and stays all night even while Leo's here. It's taking a lot out of him, Abby told him to lay off the stress, Donna says he's been having anxiety attacks. Okay now I'm rambling, tell me when to stop."

Jed paused waiting for a response.

Nothing.

All quiet except for the ventilator helping move Sam's chest up and down.

Taking Sam's hand he continued. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get down here. It's a little hectic down at the House. Israel has to make trouble, of course. The stock market took a little dive but it jumped today.. Leo and I had a talk last night, before he left. It was about our family, the White House family. We all know we don't see our families nearly enough, I live with Abby and I'm lucky I see her once a week!" Jed sighed this was harder to talk about then he originally thought, but he wanted Sam to know what he and Leo had discussed.

Taking another deep breathe and squeezing Sam's hand again he continued.

"Sam, I love you like a son.."

There he said it, but he had to explain. "Leo and I talked about when Josh was shot and how Leo felt like he was losing his son.Josh. It wasn't until we realized that you guys, you, Josh, CJ, and Toby are the ones keeping us going. You keep us trying to make us better.especially you Sam. You remind me of me when I was your age and younger. Optimistic, ready to go, full of new ideas. Leo claimed Josh as his son, he practically raised him anyway with Noah. CJ is both our daughter, the older sister to you two, the one trying to keep you two reined in. Toby.well he is like the friend that comes over and just stays, nobody minds but nobody claims him." Jed laughed and continued to smile as he remembered Leo and him having the conversation, they hadn't laughed like that together for nearly a decade, it had felt good.

Jed's smiled faltered as he continued. "I told Leo that you were my son.I never had a son. I love my girls, but I always wanted a boy and when I met you and saw you in action. I knew if I had ever had a son I would have wanted him to be just like you." Jed trailed off, not sure how to continue, he lowered his head until it rested on Sam's bedside.

He raised his eyes to peer one more time at Sam's face, his jaw dropped when he saw Sam's eyes open and staring down at him.

He felt his hand being squeezed and he returned the squeeze and smoothed back Sam's hair with his other hand.

"And I meant every word Sam." He smiled softly at Sam.

Sam tried to smile back and say thank you but he couldn't. There was something in the way.

Sam started to panic. He couldn't breathe, whatever it was down his throat was blocking his airway. No rational thought was going through his head, he kept panicking and trying to breathe around the tube which made it worse.

The president could see Sam become agitated and start to fight the tube. He started telling Sam to calm down let the tube do its job, but Sam was beyond hearing, he was rolling around what he could, his eyes wild and uncomprehending.

Jed started to panic, if Sam didn't calm down he could injure himself further. Jed was still trying to calm Sam when Abby walked in. She had left Jed alone to talk to Sam and to get some coffee. Upon entering and seeing Sam, she dropped her coffee and ran to his bedside. She immediately started rubbing his arm and smoothing his hair and talking to him in soothing tones.

Sam listened to her soft voice and let the tube work, his breathing evened out and the machines that had starting beeping out of control returned to normal as his heart rate did. The president relaxed and loosened his hand around Sam's, but Sam gripped it tighter.

"Don't worry about it, son, I'm not leaving." He said squeezing Sam's hand, ignoring Abby's surprised look at his reference to Sam as 'son.'

Dr. Weston entered hastily, surveying the room and seeing the First Couple with Sam awake.

"Mr. President," he nodded to Jed, Jed returned the nod. "Mrs. Bartlet, it's a pleasure to meet you both. And you too Mr. Seaborn. You have a lot of worried friends. It's good to see you awake."

Walking over to the many monitors near Sam, Dr. Weston checked them all and checked Sam's vitals while talking to him and the First Couple.

"Well, Sam I think it is safe to take out the tube, if you want." At Sam's nod he continued. "Mr. President, Mrs.-Dr. Bartlet could you please step outside?"

Sam's eyes widened and his heart monitor starting to pickup more. "Sam, shhh, honey, calm down. I'm not going no where." Abby soothed while staring at Dr. Weston to see if he would challenge her. Dr. Weston nodded.

"Sure Sam. Dr. Bartlet can stay but sir." Jed nodded and squeezed Sam's hand again.

"Yeah, Sam I will be right outside. I'll come in as soon as you're done, k?" He knew he couldn't watch the tube being removed without meeting the floor, he had barely made it through Zoey's birth and it had been his third time.

Sam nodded the best he could, but Jed could still see the fear present in his eyes. Jed hugged Abby and whispered. "Take care of him."

To which she replied "Don't I always." With a faint smile before he walked out to call Leo and the rest of the staff.

Abby held Sam's hand as the tube was pulled out, Sam coughed and winced at the same time feeling the constriction in his lungs.

"Water." He whispered. Dr. Weston happily passed over a cup but not of water, it was full of ice chips. Abby pulled one out and slid it into Sam's mouth.

Sam looked up as Mallory tiptoed into his room. He knew she had been by earlier or so Josh had said but he had always missed her. He had a few more hours until he went back under the knife to work on his back again. He had had no feeling below his waist since he had woke, which was 2 days ago. He talked to Dr. Weston and decided to have the back surgery, the one Josh and Dr. Austin had talked about, as soon as possible to start therapy to start walking again.

"Hey Mallory, sorry I didn't make it to the movie, believe me I tried." Sam started smiling. Mallory was not amused. "Sam, that is so not funny. I am so sorry." She stopped as tears spilled down her face.

Sam reached for her and pulled her down onto the side of his bed. Tracing the tear tracks down her cheek with his thumb, he smiled and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Hey, Mal, it's not your fault. It's no one's-except for the lamppost, but he couldn't help it." Sam said gently as he pulled her even closer until she was half-laying on his chest.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Your not.don't worry. I just need you now. Thank you." Sam whispered. He was feeling apprehensive about the upcoming operation. She was the first to know.

"Hi Mallory, how was Sam doing?" CJ asked as she came up to Mallory in the waiting room.

"He was worried, but didn't let anyone know it. I'm not even sure he wanted it so soon, but it's too late now and he needed it."

"He does need it and it's good to get it done before he could change his mind. I wish he would of told us he was that worried he could of helped or something." CJ trailed off, if Sam had told her that he was worried she wouldn't of known what to say or how to comfort him. She knew Sam would have never told them, it was just the way he was, that was why they all loved him so much.

One month later Sam sat in the airport waiting for Josh's flight to land. He was the only one available to pick Josh up at two in the afternoon since his days were pretty sparse.

Upon hearing Josh's flight land Sam wheeled over to the appropriate gate to wait, it wasn't long before Josh bounded off he hated to ride in anything less then first class and Donna knew that when she scheduled the flights for him, even on short notice.

"Hey Sam, how are things going?" Josh asked happily, he had been gone for 3 days and had had little contact with the White House and less with Sam.

"Same as always." Sam replied as he steered over to the baggage claim.

Josh picked up his small bags and set them on Sam's lap. "Allow me, sir." Josh kidded as he stepped behind the wheelchair to push.

Sam half-turned and pushed Josh's hands away. "No, Josh I need to get used to doing it myself."

"No you don't you only have what? A few more weeks until you can throw this thing out the window?"

Seeing Sam's expression fall at this comment Josh immediately became suspicious. "What? What happened?"

"Um.about that, the doctor's appointment I went to after I dropped you here didn't go so well." Sam said turning away.

Josh steered over to an empty bench and parked Sam, putting the brake on so Sam couldn't just take off.

"What do you mean 'didn't go so well?"

"Well, supposedly the operation right after the accident didn't fix the entire problem. To make a long story short, I need to have another operation and soon. Already because the problem wasn't caught sooner I have been set back a couple months." This was all very hard for Sam to get out and his head drooped lower as he went on.

"So all the work you've done.?" "Doesn't mean a thing." Sam supplied. "Oh Sam, I'm so sorry. Are you going to sue?"

"No, it wouldn't do me any good, it won't get back all the time I've lost. I'm going to have the surgery this Wednesday and re-start everything as soon as I can."

"Good the quicker the better." Josh stood and undid the brake and began to push Sam out the doors.

It had turned cold a few weeks ago so Josh hurried to get to Sam's specially equipped new car. After helping Sam in and throwing his bags in the back Josh turned to ask Sam the question that had been bugging him ever since he left, but Sam spoke first.

"How's your mom? Did she really break her hip?" Josh had received an urgent call from his mother's neighbor 4 days earlier about his mother breaking her hip on the front stoop, the next day Josh was on a flight to see her.

Josh smiled "No, Mrs. Pheferman was overreacting a bit, she sprained her ankle on the ice on the steps outside. She's fine, I think she enjoyed having me home for a few days but she was glad when I left today. She sent me back with a bunch of food and said I had to divide it evenly between you, me and Leo.I think I'll just forget about Leo. She's on a cane now, so she'll be fine at the end of the week."

"Good." Sam replied unable to think much else to say.

"So have you been back to work in the last three days?" Josh asked innocently.

"Um.I picked you up from there and yeah I went back on Saturday to help Toby do a short speech for a dinner that I had started before but that's it." Sam's days usually consisted of the same thing everyday now and a trip to the White House was a treat for him.

Everyday he woke up at five even when he could sleep in. After breakfast came the long and torturous task of taking a shower and getting dressed, that usually took an hour or two. Around 11 Rob, his physical therapist would come by and then Sam would take another shower to clean off all the sweat. A maid would come at 2 but she wasn't really needed Sam kept the place pretty clean because he was bored, so she would start dinner and do laundry if needed.

Throughout the day he would watch each of CJ's briefings and call Toby at least once and sometimes the others, like CJ, Charlie, Bonnie, Ginger, Cathy, Margaret, Donna and so on. Leo called every night promptly at 7, just to check up.

Josh paused but then decided to take the plunge and ask the question everyone in the White House wanted to know.

"So have you talked to the president yet?" It was a known fact that ever since the president had been with Sam when he had woken; the two of them had not spoken since. No one knew why, not even Leo or he would not say, but they all knew Bartlet was worried, he would come into senior staff meetings and casually ask about Sam and leave afterward with having no real reason for coming in the first place.

"I finished Harry Potter, it was really good. You should read it. Mallory was right, I can't wait to see the movie and the second is coming out soon." Sam said changing the subject.

Josh stayed quiet until they reached his house. He turned in his seat and turned the ignition off and took the keys before Sam could. "Sam, answer the question?