A/N: Lyrics featured are from the song 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan.
** Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Gilmore Girls. If I were that all powerful then Jess would be staying put! So, in summation... Please don't sue me!**
"So… um… can I get you something to eat
or drink?" He asked.
"No, that's ok. I'm fine." She said.
There was another silence.
"I'm sorry to just show up like this." She said softly. "I… my friend
Lane, she thought it'd be a good idea."
He nodded.
"It's ok. I don't mind. I'm a little surprised. But it's a nice
surprise." He smiled at her and she blushed.
He looked around the room and rolled his eyes at all the mess.
"I don't want to sound…" He stopped to think and then gave up on finding
a word that was right. "Do you want to go to my room? It's strangely a lot
cleaner, and there are even places to sit." He said with a fake look of shock
on his face.
"Sitting is good." She smiled, following him over to his room.
"Uh… here." He grabbed some clothes from the end of his bed and put them
in a hamper in the corner.
"Thanks." She smiled, sitting in the space he'd made for her.
They looked at each other for a moment.
"So, you're here." He smiled.
"Yep, looks like it." She said.
"Any reason Lane thought that this would be a good idea?" He frowned
slightly.
Rory looked down at the sleeves of the shirt he'd given her. She wasn't
quite sure how to show him what was underneath them. She ran her hand through
her hair, it was still wet. She rolled her eyes.
"There's just been… some stuff going on." She looked at him again.
"Stuff I didn't know how to tell you about."
He nodded, moving so he was facing her completely.
"So… How does you coming here help, if you can't tell me?" He asked
gently.
"Because…" She followed his example, turning in her seat to face him.
She rolled up her sleeves slowly, showing him her arms.
"I can show you." She sighed quietly.
He looked at her arms, and closed his eyes slowly. He looked away and then tried
looking at her arms again.
When he looked up at her face, she was crying. He didn't know what to say.
"I wasn't trying to…" Rory wiped her eyes.
"Then why did you do it?" He asked gently.
"I don't know." She shook her head. "The first time, it was just… it
just happened. It felt good at the time." She looked down, ashamed. "Then I
felt horrible."
He nodded, listening.
"And then it happened again. And again." She said, crying more.
He moved forward a bit and put his arms around her. She was a little shocked at
first, but then she realized that it was what she'd been wanting for months,
and she hugged him tightly.
"I'm sorry." He sighed as they hugged.
"Why?" She asked, pulling back to look at him.
"I didn't do enough. I said I'd help you and I didn't. And… I made
things worse for you at a time when you really didn't need things to get
worse."
"That's not true." She said honestly.
"I'm still sorry." He said. She just hugged him.
He couldn't believe she was there, with him.
They sat without words, just holding one another, knowing they understood each others pain. It was an amazingly peaceful feeling, and they clung to it, never wanting to lose it. They knew they would, in part. She would be leaving soon, he'd heard her mumble it into his shoulder a while back, but blocked the thought and the word 'leave', out, he never wanted her to leave.
And part of her never would.
Even though he had blocked the word out, the reality was weighing down his mind, and his eyes drifted back and forth from the clock radio by his bed, watching the digitalized numbers changing way too quickly and cursing it for being present and ushering the seconds, minutes, even hours by.
She pulled away, and looked at him, her cheeks were tear stained.
He wondered how this angel could have have felt so much pain and agony that she had come to the conclusion that the only way to free herself of it was to take her own life.
Jess held on to her hands and looked again at her wrists. No matter how many times he looked at them, they still distressed him. He wondered how much pain she had felt. He ran his thumbs over the small scars lightly.
Rory looked up from her arms to find herself lost in that harmonious brown that had greeted her at the front door. He held that stare and she had to look away.
He felt so compassionate, his hands, his fingers as they ran back and forth over her arms.
This person, sat in front of her, understood entirely. The torment of the endless feelings of despondency...everything. Just to know that he was there was sufficient for her to want to go on.
In the arms of the angel,
Fly away from here,
From this dark cold hotel room,
And the endlessness that you fear,
You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie,
You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here.
