Well, here goes another attempt at writing.  This time, it's not really a series, just a bunch of what you could call chapters in the Ranma ½ universe.  Basically just some short stories that I thought would have fit into the general storyline.  Hence the name.  Hope you like them!

Disclaimer:  I am not Rumiko Takahashi, I do not own any of her characters, although my own wedding to Ranma will take place soon.  Really.  And you're all invited, of course.

Confused Couples!  The Pen of "True" Fiction!

Kasumi sat at her small desk in her neatly arranged room.  She opened a drawer and pulled out a book.  Opening it, she leafed through the pages, glancing occasionally at the words written within.  She smiled as she came across various passages that she particularly liked.  Finally she came to a blank page.

"Oh my.  It's been so long since I've written anything.  I think it's time I wrote something new.  I so enjoy writing a good story.  Maybe one day I'll get the courage to show someone my favorite hobby.  Oh, really, I doubt it – I'm sure they're not as good as they seemed to be when I wrote them.  No one would be interested in reading my little flights of fantasy.  Now then.  A pen… Oh my.  My favorite one is out of ink!  Hmm, I think… maybe I have one here somewhere…. Yes, there it is – that one I bought a few months ago from that elderly man in the market.  What a charming old man he was, so determined to make a sale.  But I'm sure I got the better bargain – he really could have sold a pen of this caliber for much more than he did."

Kasumi pulled the pen out of it's box and looked at it.  It was a beautiful shape, almost like a delicate feather.  It was the shape of the pen that had caught her eye.  She had never seen anything like it before.  And the color was so unusual, a virtual myriad of hues, seeming to almost change before her eyes.  She took a look at the box, to see if she could find out what company made the pen, so that perhaps she could buy more.

"War Ning?  What an unusual name for a town.  I don't think I've ever heard of it before.  I wonder what region it is in.  Perhaps I shall get Nabiki to look it up on her computer for me later.  Hmm.  Such an interesting phrase on here – I wonder what it could mean?  Don otu seun les syo uwan toch an get hepre sent.  Tee hee – It probably means Happy Writing, or something along those lines.  Oh well, I guess there's no company listed.  Perhaps it's a custom made one.  I'm sure it'll write well, just looking at it makes me feel inspired!  Now, what to write about..."

Kasumi tapped the pen lightly on her nose and smiled.  She had an idea.  Putting the nib to the top line on the empty page, she wrote in the title.

Wouldn't It Be Funny If... By Kasumi Tendo

She started writing feverishly, as if she couldn't get the words onto paper fast enough.

Nerima glowed faintly with a light sheen for a split second, and as fast as it came, the aura vanished.  In the marketplace, an old man laughed.

Downstairs

"Wow!  There must be a thunderstorm coming – did you see that power surge, Akane?  Glad I'm inside already – don't really feel like being a girl tonight.  So, what time is everyone coming over?  I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to an evening with everyone, but we've somehow been getting along better with everyone lately."

"Yeah, Ranma, except for when Shampoo tried to sneak into your room, and when Ryoga challenged you to yet another fight, and Kodachi tried her new gymnastics technique on me, and..."

"Hehe.  Oh yeah, right, it has been a pretty boring week, hasn't it.  Well, we got them to all sign the paper, right?  The one where we all agree to a night of no fighting, no glomping, no whatever, just a friendly get together?"

"You know we did, Baka!  You were there when I put it together, and you came along when I got everyone's signature.  In fact, the only one's left to sign are you and me!  So, I'll sign it – There we go – now it's your turn, Ranma."

Ranma signed the paper.  As he finished scrawling his name, the doorbell rang.  As Kasumi was already upstairs for the evening, Akane went to answer it.

"Aiyah!  Shampoo ready for too too fun night of... umm, what we do tonight?"

"Hi Shampoo, I'm glad you could make it.  I don't know what we'll do tonight yet.  I've got all of the family's board games out, plus a couple decks of cards.  I just thought we could play it by ear at first, see what everyone wants to do."

Right behind Shampoo was Ukyo.  She smiled at Akane.

"Sounds good, sugar.  I brought along my grill in case anyone gets hungry.  It's always good to be prepared for a case of the munchies!"

Ranma started to salivate at the thought of one of Ukyo's prize okonomiyaki.  Case of the munchies?  He was all over it!

Akane led the two girls into the room she had readied for the get together.  Ranma stayed by the door, as the other guests would be arriving shortly.  As expected, there was a knock on the door.  Opening it, he found the Kuno siblings on the other side.  Looking at them warily, he invited them in.

"Ah, to be blessed enough to enter the residence of the fair Akane Tendo!  My heart can almost not withstand the sheer joy running through the blood in my veins!  What sweet music is the trill of her voice, like butterflies dancing through the sunlight."

"Hey, Kuno!  Don't forget what you signed, so just give it up already, okay?  None of that blither blather talk, alright?  I don't want to have to fight you tonight."

"Ohohohoho... Ranma, darling, that is the speech that my dear brother always uses.  For him to speak any other way would be a sign that something was wrong.  As for me, my own heart rejoices at being here, in the place where one of your manliness dwells.  However, I shall control my passion for you, for tonight only.  You must try to do the same – I know it shall be as difficult for you to restrain yourself from such beauty as me, but we shall persevere."

Ranma looked at the two of them and just rolled his eyes.  Figured that they were just as loony when they weren't trying to maim or marry him.  He brought them to the recreation room.

"Hey, Akane!  Your turn to get the door"  *Ding Dong"See?  Told ya!"

Throwing an exasperated look Ranma's way, Akane went to the entrance hall.  The final two guests had arrived.  Mousse and Ryoga came inside and removed their outer footwear, accepting the house sandals that Akane offered them.

"Ryoga!  I'm so glad to see that you were able to find your way here, and on time too!  You didn't get lost?"

Ryoga blushed and scratched the back of his head, a bashful smile just wide enough to show his fangs on his face.

"Well, actually.... I left to get here as soon as I heard about tonight."

"But... I started planning this 3 weeks ago, Ryoga..."

Mousse looked at Akane and shook his head.

"I found him wandering outside the Nekohanten, totally lost Akane.  If I hadn't have found him, I'm sure he'd be halfway to Timbuctoo by now.  Is Shampoo here yet?  Are she and Ranma..."

"Mousse, you know the deal – we all agreed to it.  Nothing like that is going to happen tonight.  Everything will be perfect!  You'll see!  We're all mature enough to be able to be sensible for one evening, I'm sure.  And yes, Shampoo is here – you guys are the last one's we were waiting for.  So, if you'll head over to this room, let's get this party started!"

The group of teenagers sat in the rec room, looking around at each other.  Old suspicions and tensions were obvious, by the stiff, ultra prepared stance everyone had assumed.  They were ready at a moments notice to jump into a fight.  No one knew quite the right way to break the silence, until Nabiki, wandering by the room, popped her head through the doorway.

"Wow.  I've seen better parties at a wake.  Come on guys, loosen up, have a good time, talk, mingle, be cheery.  That's my advice, anyways.  That'll be 3000 yen each.  You can pay at the door when you leave."

Everyone cracked up simultaneously at Nabiki's usual attempt to con them out of money.  Somehow the laughter worked.  The tension in the air relaxed, and the gang found themselves able to talk.  Without the constant battles looming, they actually found that all of them had a lot in common.  They were all dedicated martial artists, willing to go to the limits.  Akane and Ranma smiled.  This was what they had been hoping for, to get everyone together like this, as a possible group of friends.

Upstairs, in Kasumi's room

Kasumi looked down at what she had written so far.  It was a different kind of story than she had ever done before, a comedy romance, rather than a soft fantasy romance with faeries and knights, like most of her fiction was.

"Well, I think it's time to add some romance into it.  Something different, I think, to suit the mood of the story.  Let's see.... Oh my... That would be unusual, wouldn't it."

Once again, Kasumi started writing as possessed, with a humorous smile on her lips.

Downstairs

Around a table, the group was playing a game of poker.  Although there had been some suggestions to make it strip poker, those had quickly been squashed by Akane, who had threatened to make the snacks for everyone.  The usual glances by various members were being discretely thrown.  Kuno was looking covertly at Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi would occasionally look over in Ranma's direction, hoping against hope that he would look at them, Ryoga gazed bashfully at Akane, and Mousse of course was darting eyes at Shampoo.  Of course, with all these looks being thrown around, not one met the eyes of the person it was intended for.  Akane and Ranma just looked at their cards, concentrating on winning.  Suddenly, unnoticed by everyone, a light shudder ran through the gang.

Shampoo, sitting next to Kuno, found herself strangely compelled to move fractionally closer to him.  For some reason, it didn't even seem odd to her to approach another man besides Ranma.  Kuno, noticing this, felt a tremor run through his body.  He had never noticed this beautiful warrior in this kind of light before.  He didn't move away, instead he let his hand casually brush against her side as he put a card on the table.  A little smile appeared on both of their faces, and a sigh escaped their lips.

Ryoga suddenly realized that he had been staring at Akane.  Now why would he want to do that, when Kodachi, such a magnificent bloom of femininity was much worthier of his attentions.  He reached out beside him, and caressed her hand lightly.  Kodachi responded by wrapping her fingers around it, and leaning her head on his shoulder.

Ukyo, sitting next to Mousse, suddenly leaned over and whispered in his ear that her absolute favorite animal were ducks.  He blushed profoundly, and placed his arm around her shoulder.

The air in the room seemed to get hotter for the newly found couples.  Slowly, they grew bolder with their looks at each other, and with their touches. Pretty soon, the pairs were holding hands, sitting on each other's laps, leaning over for kisses, and whispering sweet nothings into their loved one's ears.

Akane and Ranma sat oblivious to all this, concentrating still on their cards.

"Okay, lay 'em on the table guys!  Read 'em and weep!  I'm gonna win this round again!  I've got a full house – what you got, Akane?"

"Oh, darn.  I've only got 2 pair.  Oh well, I'll get you next time, for sure!  So can anyone beat Ranma?"

Ranma and Akane finally looked up, and dropped their cards in surprise.  What on earth....?  It seemed their casual little get together had turned into a makeout party, with the strangest pairings in history.

"Ranma?  Do you think Kodachi spiked the drinks?"

"No way.  We had the same in our glasses, and besides, I had Nabiki frisk her for contraband when she came in.  Umm, guys?  Care to fill us in on what's happening?"

The other people in the room barely spared them a glance before going back to locking lips with the person they were sitting with.  Suddenly, the room seemed much smaller than before.

"Um, Ranma, would you mind if Kodachi and I went into the dojo for a bit of privacy?  We'd like to have a "conversation" by ourselves."

"Ohohoho... Yes, that's it, a "conversation", my love.  What an appropriate way to describe our words of love that we shall show both in words and expressions."

Ranma did a face fault and stared at the two with a wild look in his eyes.

"You, you feeling okay, Ryoga?  This is Kodachi, you know, Pig Boy."

Akane was dealing with keeping Shampoo and Kuno from sneaking upstairs.  Meanwhile, Mousse and Ukyo had wandered off to the corner where they hoped that there would be no interuptions.  Little giggles and soft moans could be heard from them as they became bolder with each other.

"Hey, Akane, I don't know what is goin' on here, but it's getting a little weird for me.  Aack!  Shampoo!  Stop undoing Kuno's clothes, and Kuno, I didn't really want to see you kiss Shampoo like that – I'll have nightmares for a week!"

"Tell me about it Ranma!  I'm getting seriously creeped out here.  Kodachi, I don't think you should wrap a gymnastics ribbon around you two like that, you could get hurt... Oh.  Oh!  Wow.  I had no idea you could use a club so erotically..."

Akane blushed fiercely and looked at the ceiling.  Ranma was doing no better.  He didn't know where to look – everywhere he glanced, there seemed to be limbs entwined, or lips melded together.  He sidled up to Akane, and motioned towards the door.  She nodded, and they ran.

On the other side of the door, after shutting it securely, they looked at each other with shock, and then burst out laughing. 

"Ho...holy cow!  What was that!?  I don't think I'll ever be able to go into that room again without feeling a bit like a peeping Tom!  I knew that those girls were passionate, from some of the things they've tried with me, but to see Ryoga and Mousse in that light was just frightening."

"I know, Ranma.  And Kuno's always been all talk, no action, but he's certainly active now...  We've got to figure out what's going on here, or we're going to have to sterilize that room tomorrow, if we can ever get all of them unwrapped from each other."

The two martial artists could hear clothing being shed in the room behind them, plus some sounds that they wished they hadn't.

"Well, I guess this is one way of the fiancee problem being solved..."

"Ranma!  Although that's true, we've got to get this fixed – this has to be some sort of spell or something, and that's no way for a relationship to happen!  Plus, do you really want to have a room full of perverts here for the rest of the night?  Cause I'm not going in there to get them out of here."

Kasumi's room

"Hmm, the pen ran out of ink!  I guess that's why it was so inexpensive.  It doesn't look like it's refillable either.  Too bad, I've never written so fast before, and if I get a new pen, I'll lose my train of thought.  Well, let's read through what I have here."

Kasumi read through the story, her eyes getting wider and wider, as the words she had written sunk into her head.

"Oh my.  Oh my.  OH MY!!  What was I thinking!  I've never written anything like this before.  I can't keep this, I'm blushing just reading it.  Tee hee.  If anyone found this and read it, they'd think I was a deviant or something.  Oh my."

Kasumi carefully ripped the pages out of her book and neatly tore them into pieces and dropped them into her wastebasket, along with the empty pen.

Downstairs

There was a sudden silence in the room that Akane and Ranma had left.  The two looked at each other, looked at the door, took a deep breath and opened it.

The three couples in the room were frozen in a state of shock.  Slowly they peeled themselves apart, and then, frantically, got their clothes back into the proper places.  No one made eye contact with anyone else, especially with the person they had been wrapped up with.  Silently, they headed individually for the door.  Ranma and Akane stood aside and let them leave the room.

At the front door, everyone put on their outerwear shoes and made ready to go.  Akane didn't quite know what to say to their departing guests.  She didn't think they'd appreciate her asking if they had had a nice time.  She decided it was best just to keep her mouth shut.

"Akane?  Shampoo no come to "friend" party anymore, okay?  Shampoo too too embarassed right now – kick bokken boy to America tomorrow."

"I second that motion, Ranma honey.  I don't think our group works well as friends.  Too many things go wrong when we get together – not that anyone got together!!  Aah.  I'm gonna go work at the restaurant for a bit.  Clear my head.  Maybe make a new flavor of okonomiyaki – Duck sounds about right."

"Shampoo!  Wait for me!  I'm still loyal to you and you only!  I'm sure it was just that Ranma, trying to deviate me from being with you!"

"Curse you, Ranma Saotome!  I'm sure you had a hand in this, trying to make me look like a pervert in front of Akane!  Akane, please forgive my presence in your home as it was tonight."

The Kuno siblings simply filed out in silence – their already warped brains had had an overload of bizarreness, and their tongues were momentarily stilled.  Although thinking about what their tongues had been doing was causing their eyes to twirl.

As the door shut on the last of the guests, Ranma and Akane looked at each other and sighed.

"It's never just a normal night with us, is it Ranma?"

"You can say that again!  Well, at least things are back to what we consider normal, anyways."

"Well, we'd better go and see how much damage was done to the rec room.  I don't think I'd want Kasumi to see it, and Nabiki would just take pictures and tell everyone that it was caused by us or something."

They grabbed a mop, bucket and bleach and set out for some serious cleaning.

Upstairs

Nabiki was getting the garbage from everyone's room, as there was a pickup tomorrow.  Seeing the pen and the case in Kasumi's bin, she picked it up.  She looked at the label and started to laugh.

"Wow!  Thank goodness this is in the garbage – this could have been dangerous if it was used by someone who didn't know what it was.  They really should put labels like this in several languages, not just english – "Warning  Do not use unless you want to change the present"?  Hmm, too bad the pen's out of ink – I could have used this to make money some how, I'm sure."

After going downstairs, she tossed it into the garbage can in the backyard, and went back into the house.  The garbage can glowed faintly, briefly.

The quick glow caught the eye of Happosai, back from a panty raid.  He came over and looked into the can.

"Ah ha!  What's this?  Hey, someone threw out a perfectly good pen!  And it still has ink.  Such a beautiful work of art.  I will be able to write such beautiful love letters to my memories of Cologne as a young woman with this.  All the things I couldn't say than, that I now pour onto paper, never to be seen by anyone but me."

In the market place, the old man laughed again.

Well, there it is.  What'd you guys think?  Please read and review!  I've already got the next few "missing stories" in my head, and just need to get them onto paper, so stay tuned....