Wow – I haven't put out a new story in my Missing Stories in a long time… So, figured I'd remedy that!
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi is the owner and creator of all things Ranma. I have built a shrine to her.
A Work of Art – Martial Arts House Painting!
It was a normal day at the Tendo household. So far. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that it was 6:30 in the morning. The only one awake was Kasumi, who was already busy in the kitchen, preparing for the meals she would be making that day. With a spring in her step, she walked out to the back yard, heading for her little herb garden that she maintained, a pair of kitchen shears in her hand. Bending over, she quickly cut the herbs that she wanted.
She turned to head back inside. Suddenly frozen in place, Kasumi felt her hand release the freshly cut clippings, sending them tumbling to the ground, followed soon after by the dull thunk of the scissors hitting the black earth of the garden.
"Oh my…"
About 15 minutes later, the rest of the household was gathered outside in their nightwear. Groggily, they rubbed their eyes, staring at the spectacle in front of them. The pristine lines of the house were… well, no longer pristine. Now brilliantly adorned in neon splashes, the walls were covered in graffiti. One particularly large message caught Ranma's attention.
"Your dojo or your dignity." He read. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Soun burst into tears. "Oh no! Our beautiful home! Defaced in such a degrading manner! Who could do such a thing? And why? Why? Why????" He sunk to the ground, quickly creating a giant mud puddle with his waterworks.
"Oh Daddy, calm down." Nabiki looked calmly at the mess in front of her. "All we have to do is paint over this. Ranma, thank you for volunteering – you'll find paint and brushes in the shed." Without even waiting for his reaction, she headed back inside to get dressed.
"Hey! Wait a minute… I never volunteered!"
"That's my boy! Always one to help out in times of need – a true martial artist shows his integrity in moments of disaster." Genma smiled proudly at his son, while edging slowly towards the house. "Well, must be heading inside now – have fun!"
"Pops." Ranma growled. "What about you? Aren't you a true martial artist? Come on, old man, you're gonna help me whether you like it or not." Unfortunately, he was already speaking to thin air, as his father had already disappeared into the building. "Lazy old bum. Leaves me to do the dirty work, as usual."
Kasumi's sweet voice intruded into his thoughts of revenge against his father. "Thank you, Ranma. That's so kind of you to clean up. I'm sure Akane will be glad to help you with that, won't you, dear?" It was not so much a question as it was a statement.
Akane stopped short, her legs frozen in their path towards the door. "Fine, Kasumi. I'll help out." Then, pointedly towards Ranma, she continued. "But I'm not doing this as a favor to you, Ranma. I'm doing this because it's my family's house, and I don't want the neigborhood to think less of us."
Ranma looked startled. "A favor to me? What are you talking about? I had nothing to do with this! Geez! You don't even know anything about how this happened and you're already blaming me. Typical."
"Meet me back out here in 10 minutes. I'm going to get changed, I suggest you do the same." Akane headed off to her room.
Ranma grumbled as he went to his room. "Haven't even had breakfast yet. How's a guy supposed to have energy for painting when his stomach is empty." Looking longingly at the kitchen, he thought about seeing if Kasumi had anything ready that he could grab as a quick snack, but didn't get a chance, as Akane turned back to him from the top of the stairs.
"You know, the longer you take to get back out there, the longer it'll take."
"Well, thank you, Little Miss Obvious." Running quickly to his room, he threw on an old T-shirt and pants. Heading back outside, he went to the shed to get the paint. Pulling out a few cans, and some brushes, he got to work, joined soon after by Akane.
Not talking, the two teens concentrated on the task at hand. Working hard, it didn't take too long. Wiping their brows, Ranma and Akane cleaned the brushes and went inside the house.
"Come and eat, you two." Kasumi smiled at them. "I saved you some breakfast."
Ranma's stomach gurgled loudly as he sat down. Akane shot him a disgusted look, but didn't say anything, as she dove into the food as well.
The rest of the day was surprisingly uneventful.
The next morning however…
"Oh my…"
"So… does anyone else have a feeling of deja-vu?" Nabiki muttered sarcastically.
The rest of the household just stared at the newly decorated wall. This time, instead of the neon colors, it was adorned in vibrant hues of purple, green and blue.
"Cool. Looks like a giant bruise!"
"Ranma! It looks horrible! What kind of jerk graffiti's the same house two nights in a row?"
Ranma paused. "The same kind that writes that?" He pointed towards the wall.
Turning to look, the two families saw the newest message.
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Your house is a mess
But it'll soon be mine
"Well, we know one thing about this guy anyway. He's no poet."
5 pairs of eyes turned to Ranma and just looked.
"What??? It doesn't even rhyme!"
Akane sighed and brushing past Ranma, went to the shed to get the paint and brushes. Coming back, she slapped a brush into his hand.
Silently, they moved towards the house, already settling into the same pattern as the day before.
Later that morning, the two families gathered around the table. Nabiki took charge of the impromptu meeting.
"Okay. Here's the plan. We find out anything and everything we can about whoever's doing this. Kasumi, you continue to make dinner, but if you go to the market, keep your ears open for any gossip."
"Oh my. Gossiping is rather bad, isn't it?" Kasumi giggled. "But I suppose if it helps to keep our house looking nice." Humming, she got up and headed to the kitchen to make dinner.
"Yes. Okay then. Next – Daddy, you and Mr. Saotome go and talk to the other members of the neighborhood watch. For some reason they all respect you, so you should be able to find out if this is happening to anyone else." The subtle dig went un-noticed by the two men, who were pounding each other on the back, saying how yes, they were rather well-liked throughout the area, and wasn't it only natural, being two fit and fine specimens of martial artists like they were. Nabiki stared calmly and coldly at them, until clearing their throats, they announced their departure.
"What do you want us to do, Nabiki?" Akane asked seriously. Clenching her fists, she was ready for a fight! No one tried to make her family look like fools!
"You and Ranma go to bed."
"Nabiki!"
"Hey! No way am I sleeping with a tomboy like that!"
"Not until they're married." Came the soft voice from the kitchen.
"Oh for crying out loud. Did I say together? Get some sleep, you two, cause you're going to be standing watch tonight. But, now that I notice, you two were pretty quick to both think of sleeping in the same bed, weren't you…."
"Yeah. Going to bed now."
"Yawn. Boy, I'm beat. Yep, bed sounds good right now. Alone. Err, I don't mean us wanting to be left alone, I mean just me and Akane sleeping… Separately! In different rooms! Me in hers and … wait, that's not what I meant! I got confused! No! Urk."
"Baka." Akane muttered as she brushed off her mallet and headed upstairs.
Nabiki looked down at a prone Ranma. "Well, he's sleeping at least."
Evening came, and Ranma and Akane prepared to go out on the roof to keep an eye out for the vandal. Akane dressed carefully for their upcoming subterfuge. Dark clothing covered her from head to toe, and she brandished a baseball bat in one hand.
She caught Ranma eyeing her out of the corner of her eye. "What?"
"Well, doubt you're gonna need that bat – it's just some guy with a couple cans of spray paint after all."
"So? He might be a pervert, hanging around our house late at night like that. And plus, just because we're going to be sitting up on the roof just us two, doesn't mean you can try anything either. You'll be sorry if you do." Akane glared suspiciously at Ranma.
"Oh puleaze! Like I'd wanna try anything with you!" Ranma shot back at her. Was she ever going to cut him a break?
Akane humphed and stalked past him.
A few hours later, the two teens sat back to back on the roof, shivering slightly. The night air was brisk, and there was a slight wind coming up. Keeping their eyes peeled, they scanned their surroundings.
"Maybe he's given up. Don't look like he's gonna show." Ranma was bored. He had been hoping that he'd get a bit of exercise from this guy tonight. He shifted uncomfortably. Man, his butt was getting sore. Standing up suddenly, he stretched, not noticing that his sudden movement had knocked Akane off balance, as she had been subconsciously leaning against him.
"Jerk!" She said in a loud whisper from her undignified position.
Looking down at her, he saw what had happened. A hiccup of laughter managed to sneak out of his mouth before he covered it up with a cough. Pretending to clear his throat, he turned away so she wouldn't see his amusement. He wasn't laughing at her, he just thought it was kinda funny, but he doubted she'd see the same humor. A noise from below caught his ear, and his expression suddenly turned serious. Motioning at Akane to keep quiet, he snuck to the edge of the roof and peered slowly over.
Akane crept to Ranma's side and carefully looked down as well. They could see a shadowy figure slinking across the lawn heading to the nearest wall. As the person got closer, they could make out that he was carrying a spray can in each hand.
Ranma made a "stay here" gesture and quietly jumped to the ground.
Akane was furious. *Stay here, my ass!* She thought. Who did Ranma think he was anyway? She was just as good of a martial artist as him… well, okay, maybe not, but she certainly wasn't the weakling he seemed to think she was. If it hadn't been necessary to be as quiet as possible, she would have given him a piece or two of her mind. As quietly as she could, she too jumped down. Letting out a small oomph as she landed, she quickly looked around to see where Ranma had gone. Seeing him disappear around a corner of the house, she stealthily followed.
Meanwhile, Ranma was keeping close tabs on the so-called artist, who was approaching his usual target. Hearing the unmistakable rattle of the ball in a can of paint, his spy techniques were dropped and he leapt out into the open.
"Hey! What do ya think you're doing?" He called out aggressively.
The intruder whirled around with a startled cry. Reflexively, his hands came up, with his fingers poised on the sprayers.
Ranma yelped and dove out of the way of the paint spray. Rolling into an impromptu somersault, he sprang back to his feet. "Damn it! You could have got that in my eyes! What's your problem? And why are you painting graffiti on our house, huh?"
The young man standing near him laughed. "Come to defend your stronghold, are you? Not for long! No one stands fast for long once I have begun my mission of conquest!"
"What the…? Look pal, I don't know who you think you are, but let me tell you, no one makes Ranma Saotome back down – ever!"
"Tsk tsk. I'm disappointed. You mean to say you haven't heard of me yet? Well, let me remedy that for you. I'm Yutaka Ito, better known as the Picasso of the house-defacing world, of the School of Martial Modern Art! And I hear by stake my claim on this house and dojo."
Akane jumped out from behind the bush where she had been watching. "Stake your claim? On MY house? I don't think so, buster." She menacingly swung her bat.
Akane was suddenly surrounded by a blur of paint. When it settled, she gasped. Her bat was now painted to show the words "I swing like a girl", but amazingly there wasn't a drop of paint on her. She hadn't even seen the boy move!
Ranma was a bit surprised as well, but still managed to point out the obvious. "Umm… she is a girl. I mean, yeah, it's easy to make that mistake, being the macho chick she is and all…"
Akane decided that this would be an opportune time to demonstrate just how well girls could swing - and connect with a certain pig-tailed boy's head. Ranma landed facefirst on the ground, but quickly sat up, groaning and clutching the back of his head.
"Ouch! Whaddya have to go and do that for! Not like there aren't more pressing issues at the moment or nothin'." He motioned his head towards Yutaka.
Akane, realizing her attention was indeed focused on the wrong person, turned back towards the cretin who, using the distraction to his advantage, was quickly drawing a cubist rendition of Ranma's face at the moment that the bat had hit him. She would have appreciated his talent, if it had not been for the fact that his canvas was THEIR WALL! As she stalked towards him, he doodled a rather unflattering caricature of her. This only served to get her even angrier. Growling slightly, she picked up her pace until she was running straight towards him, the bat over her head.
Just as she was almost close enough to lay one on him, a blur darted in front of her, causing Akane to pull up to a sudden stop, or else run headlong into Ranma.
"Looks like someone's gonna have to take you down, Ito, and that someone is me, so get ready for a fight buddy." Ranma as usual had decided to take charge of the situation. "Akane, you stand over there, where you won't get hurt or nothin'."
Akane's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe it. Was he ever going to give her any credit at all? Fuming, she nevertheless did as he asked.
"Oh, so it's a fight you want, is it?" Yutaka laughed at Ranma. With a confident grin on his face, he grabbed a paintbrush and a spraypaint can and waited.
Ranma rushed forward, yelling out as he ran. "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" He figured by using the Chestnut Fist technique, he could get this fight out of the way quickly. Faster than could be seen, his hands darted to and from the boy he was fighting.
Panting only slightly, he withdrew when he thought Ito had been through enough. His eyes opened wide when he realized Yutaka was still standing, a smirk evident on his face. What the…? He had made contact – he had felt it!
"I'm impressed Saotome. Not bad. But unfortunately, not good enough." Ito's gaze dropped down to Ranma's hands.
Akane let out a sharp gasp as she saw what Ito was referring to. Ranma's jaw dropped in horror as he lifted his hands.
Ranma had made contact all right – but not against flesh. What he had felt had been the paint brush held casually in Yutaka's hand. Ranma's fingernails were now beautifully painted with pretty little individual pictures on each nail. His hands were covered with painted rainbows and hearts. Delicately stenciled in between the drawings were sayings like "Ranma and Sailor Moon 4-ever!" and "I play with Barbies". The worst however, was the detailed portrait of Hello Kitty on his left palm.
"Aaagggh! Get it off! Get it off!" Ranma started frantically running around, waving his hands like a maniac, trying to shake off the cat.
Thinking fast, Akane grabbed the nearby garden hose and turned it on Ranma. Thankfully, the paint was water based and the offending feline picture faded into a messy blur.
A dripping wet, now female Ranma glared at the laughing artist. "Oh yeah? Bet you thought that was pretty funny, huh? Well, you ain't got the best of me!"
"Hmm. Well then, I look forward to our next confrontation then. Perhaps you'll provide me with a bit more of a challenge? Might as well just give up your dojo now."
"Next confrontation?" Ranma yelled. "We're finishing this now!"
Ito chuckled. "Sorry to disappoint, but have to run. So many things to paint, so little time. Ciao!" He leapt over their fence and quickly ran off into the fading night.
Ranma was stunned. He had been painted into defeat? What was that? Akane interrupted him from his reverie of gloom.
"A cartoon cat. Ranma, it was a picture of a cartoon cat. Really, have you got no control at all?" She stalked towards the house. She'd start cleaning up the mess out here in the morning.
Ranma followed after her, trying to justify himself. "Hey! Like I can help it! Not my fault anyway… stupid c… c… ca… furry animals. Who does that jerk think he is anyway? I'll show him! Yeah, next time I'll take him by surprise! I'll… umm…" Ranma's speech trailed off as he tried to think exactly what he would do the next time they met.
When they got in the house, they found Nabiki sitting on a chair waiting for them. Looking at Ranma, she started singing.
"Hello Ranma
Play with us today
We'll laugh and sing
On this lovely sunny day"
She broke off singing and doubled over with laughter as Ranma stopped in his tracks.
"Shut up Nabiki." He growled.
She wiped a tear of mirth from her eye. "Go rest up, you two. We'll get working on plan B in the morning. We've managed to find a few scraps of information on this guy – I'll fill you in then." Sauntering away, Nabiki continued humming the catchy theme song lightly under her breath.
Ranma spun towards Akane, who was covering her mouth to hide her own amusement. "Nothin's funny! I'm gonna go take a bath." He paced away, muttering.
Akane went upstairs to her room. Nabiki was right. There was nothing more to do at the moment. Come morning, they'd get together a new plan of attack and defense. Falling onto her bed, she quickly fell asleep.
To be continued.
Hmm… that was unexpected - this turned out to be a longer story than I had planned. A bit too long to have it all in one chapter. It'll just be a two-parter though. Stay tuned for Part Two, coming soon! Read and Review please!
