I remembered that day all too well.
The familiar faint smell of winter lingered in the air as new buds sprung into life, indicating the presence of yet another spring. Fleecy clouds marched across the sky, showering endless blessings as rays of sun glinted signs of wedded bliss upon the perfect couple. All in all, it was a perfect day for a perfect nuptial such as this.
The ceremony was filled with gaiety as everyone congratulated the groom for his amazing luck of marrying the most beautiful and popular woman of the century. From a faraway distant, I could see the smile on his face, the gleam of elation in his eyes and the glow on his mien every time someone shook his hand. Somehow, my heart instantly mellowed with bitterness and regrets.
Today was Rika's day of happiness and I will not ruin it by being sodding. Yes, even if I have to pretend that I was all right with this outrages decision, I will not ruin it. And I mean it with a capital N.
Inspecting some attentions from the nearby passerby, I feigned a slight smile and paced ever so slowly towards the groom.
Each time I took a step forward, my heart was weighed down with agony.
Only then I realized that pretending to be cheerful was an impossible task. Great was my sadness but the thought of losing the only person I have ever loved and cared for in my life was greater. I could have just turn back and go somewhere, pretending there's an important errand to run or perhaps just call Rika and inform her I couldn't make it by giving some reasonable excuse. But – I just didn't have the heart to do it. I had promised her - last night - in the phone. Rika would probably hate me forever if I didn't show up this time.
A bubbly voice reached me and I looked up instantly. The groom seemed to have acknowledged my presence for he was jogging towards me and that left me no other choice.
Such perfect timing…
"Hey, Ryo! I'm so glad you would turn up today. Rika was pretty anxious when she heard from Takato you couldn't make it. So, I assume she had talk you into attending our wedding ceremony?"
The word wedding was piercing.
"Yeah, she called me last night." I replied casually.
"Great!" He clasped my shoulder and then steered me away from the spot to join the rest of the crowds. "Why are you standing here then? Come in!" I frowned, but he didn't seem to notice it.
*~*~*~*~*
The day went by quickly; and before I was aware of it, the prelude had ended and every one was seated in their respectful place. All, except for me. I was still in a haze mood, as I can't believe Rika was finally getting married, and the groom was not me.
The wedding was held outdoor, much to everyone's contentment, as it was breezy that day. The wind seemed to brushed pass by, inviting petals of flower and jovial rays of sunlight with it. Entrancing yet rueful. I stood silently by the groom's side; oblivious to whatever that was happening around me. I couldn't care less. If only I would evaporate from that very spot, I wouldn't have to go through such torment.
No matter how much I loathed it, I found myself staring at Rika as she walked down the isle in the most gorgeous gown, accompanied by an aging man. I watched her by the corner of my eye and caught her eyes for a moment. Those amethyst eyes reflected off something that I have not seen for years – warmth and happiness. Yet, what hurt me the most was the fact that she didn't smile or even look at me as she waded passed me and into the arms of her husband-to-be.
It was pathetic. It was a total mockery to me – a nobody who was witnessing the 'best' film yet.
No, I can't stand it anymore. Another second, another more second… and I will break.
'Will you Rika Nonaka take…"
No, please! Stop it! I don't want to hear it anymore – STOP THIS AT ONCE!
And ever so dimly, the words that would bring my downfall were exchanged and I –
"Ryo-san!"
*~*~*~*~*
I ran, and ran, and ran some more.
I didn't care whether my name was called continuously or not. I didn't care if I had just done the worst thing in my entire life. I didn't care if I had upset anyone in the process of doing so. The world had certainly upset me. It always does.
I ran further down the street, pelted through the busy road and across parks and complexes till my legs muscles ached and I could run no more.
My body trembled, and I felt dreary . How could I loose my cool so easily? Ten long years I have endured, observing her behind the scene with the guy of her dream. She was so happy and contented. And just to see those captivating smiles, it was worth it even if I had to risk my happiness.
But why? Just a few more moments, she'll be gone from my life. The longing will ceased and I could finally lead a normal life of a normal man.
I was addicted to Her…lugubriously.
My mind plagued through series of yester events. I remembered her face, her smile, her everything. It all crashed down like a roaring wave. I needed her; I wanted her – to feel every touch, to taste every kiss and to wound every fall…
A flicker of pain rushed through and I clutched my head a let out a cry of agony. I was going to loose my self soon…
But something subdued me from doing the unthinkable –
My sanity. And a cry of my name.
"Ryo, Ryo!" Hurried footsteps soon approached, heralding the presence of a certain someone.
It was not her.
"Are you all right?" The groom voiced his concern.
I merely nodded, not in the mood to converse with anyone.
"Do you need a doctor right now?"
"I'm fine. I'll be back soon."
"Are you sure?"
I frowned and nodded.
With a doubtful look, he left and I was all alone again.
Looking at the back of his departing figure made me felt stupid. Of course, I was just being foolish all the time. She never loves me, she never did. It was time to let go of her. I had had enough.
Staggering to my feet, I heaved in a deep breath and before I even realized it, a single lone droplet escaped from the corner of my eye and fell onto the pavement –
I cried.
T H E E N D
Okay, an angst fic. So how was it? Bad, huh? Ryo's inner torment might not be sensible, as I just wanted to post this quickly. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it and feel free to drop me a review – flame or critic.
Thank you.
Signing out,
Psycho_kyugurl
