Title: Promises
Author: djchika
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made

{Angel Investgations, we help the hopeless.}

Remember that? Our office slogan or motto or whatver. Doyle thought it was cute. I thought it was the truth. We help the hopeless. It was what we did. In a way, I guess that's what we'll always do.

{You've made a good choice. She'll provide a connection to the world. She's got a very humanizing influence.}

Doyle. I miss him so much lately. He was one of the bravest people I've ever known, and that includes you and Miss Slay-a-lot. I heard you two talking at the aparment/office the day after you had rescued me from that vamp creep Rusell, and no I wasn't eavesdropping. I even told you the what I overheard, remember?

I was trying to evict all the dustbunnies that seemed to have been at your apartment since the turn of the century. You, as usual, was sulking and brooding about. I interrupted your little brood-fest and told you that I know about your little plan for redemption. I said that if you promised to be a little less grouchy and sulky and generally broody I'd promise to be your 'humanizing influence' whatever that is. All I got in return was a look, but I saw the small, almost nonexistent smile that had replaced the scowl on your face and I knew we had a deal.

{And you ought to do *that* more often.

Buy you food?

Smile.}

I always loved it when I got you to smile.

I still remember the first time I got you to laugh. Doyle had come into the office nursing a particularly bad hangover. I made a crack about him being a fire hazard with all the alcohol in his body. It wasn't even a good crack but it must have been a good day for you, because you, Angel, King of Brood, laughed. Okay, so it was more of a chuckle but it was close enough. I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself.

Then Doyle went and saved our lives. He really was hero material wasn't he? After that it was just you and me. Angel and Cordy. Once Angel, Doyle and Cordy. Wasn't long before Wesley came, after him, Gunn and finally Fred. Lorne was more of a special guest than a season regular. We were a family. A semi-dysfunctional, definitely bizarre family, but a family nontheless.

At the beginning, though, there was just you and me.

{It's gonna be a long while - until you work your way out - but I know you well enough to know you *will*. - And I'll be with you until you do.}

Me as Vision girl,

{It's just - they're starting to take their toll. It's part of the job, right?}

and you as the Hero.

{It's all the same thing. Fight the good fight - whichever way you can.}

How wrong is it that you didn't even get to die the hero's way?

We were sitting on this very bench just staring at the stars. Just the two of us that night, no visions, no cases, no Fred, Gunn, Wes or Lorne. Just you and me. I had never been happier, never been more content and at peace.

I guess neither have you.

The next thing I knew you were on the ground gasping for breath looking like the life was getting sucked out of you, and then like nothing had happened you were okay, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

It took me a minute to realize what had happened. One precious minute that enabled Angelus to grab me and sink his teeth into my neck. I would have died if Wesley hadn't pulled him off. Wes earned a concussion from getting thrown at the wall for that. Gunn and Fred came running out a second later and the fight that I've been dreading for so long began.

Us vs. Angelus, and you caught in the crossfire.

I'd give anything for it to have happened differently. I would have given anything for a tazer, or for Gunn to have sneaked up behind Angelus and knocked him unconsious. But it didn't happen like that, it happened exactly the way I didn't want it to.

It was just me and Anglus, and the bastard knew that I loved you, that I wouldn't be able to kill you. He told me as much. Even gave me a stake and taunted me to stake him. Buffy hadn't been able to do it, how could I?

{If the day ever comes that I...

Oh, I'll kill you dead!}

Angelus underestimated the power of a promise. Before he knew what had happened, Angelus was dust. Gone. And you with him. No more Scourge of Europe. No more Angel either. I'm not sure what happened after that. Bits and pieces like Gunn lifting me off the ground (I don't even remember falling down) and placing me on a bed, Wesley kissing me on the forehead, Fred sobbing from far away. I don't remember crying that night. Or any other night for that matter.

It's been so long.

I wonder how long I've been sitting here. I don't care though, not really. The sun is setting. Soon darkness will fall and yet another night of patrolling. We've been doing that a lot lately.

{Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless.}

I wonder if anyone will ever help me.

I rise from the bench. Another night, the fight goes on. It'll never stop and neither will I. I promised, remember?

I promised I'd be your humanizing influence.

I promised I'd always be by your side.

I promised to fight the good fight.

I promised to love you forever.

And that's what I'll do.

I know you'd want me to move on, find someone to be with, but I promised, Angel. Forever. I've never broken a promise to you yet, and I promise you, I never will.

{And I'll be with you until you do.}

End.