If he hadn't been sitting, he would have fallen over. His face turned white.
We got up to leave but we couldn't get past all the people trying to congratulate us. Colonel Potter had to break up the crowd and lead us out. All three of us went straight to the C.O.'s office.
"What's going on?" I couldn't not tell the C.O.
"Shall I tell him?" I had to ask Ben.
"Go ahead. He'll find out soon enough."
"Can someone tell me?" Sherm was getting impatient.
"I'm pregnant. Benjamin's the father."
"Pierce, how could you let this happen?"
For once there wasn't a smart alec answer. He looked at me and smiled as if what had been said was just now registering.
"How late are you?" He had taken on a concerned look.
"Three weeks. I thought I would wait. Make sure."
"You haven't been late before."
"How could you tell?"
"Like I could miss getting my head bitten off every month." He smiled again. I never knew that he would notice.
"Very touching but I'll have to send Jennifer home." Potter brought us both back down to earth.
"Why?" What I really meant was "I have to leave Ben?".
"I can't keep pregnant women at the front."
"You want to deprive Benjamin of being present at the birth of his first child?" What was it about Potter that made me want to fight with him?
"I can't let you stay."
"What home do I have to go back to? A family who will disown me for having a child out of wedlock? A place where it's hard enough to get a job because I'm a woman, never mind the fact that I'll be a single mother?" I couldn't keep calm anymore. For three weeks I had been fighting with myself, worried that it might all come to this.
"I don't want you to stay." Ben sounded distant, like he too was fighting the urge to say I should stay.
"What the HELL do you mean?" I exploded at him.
"I don't want you to get hurt," His hands found their way around my back, pulling me closer. "I don't want our child hurt."
"Where will I go? I can't go home. Saying that, home is thousands of miles away in Scotland."
"You can go back to Crabapple Cove." We had forgotten about Potter, Who was watching us from behind his desk.
"We'll still be separated. I'll still be alone." I'm becoming incredibly self centered.
"We'll be married by then and the war should be over soon. It will be hard but my father will look after you." I leaned in and kissed him. He came up with some great ideas.
"I don't want you to miss seeing your mew born child."
"I don't want that either. We'll be O.K." He moved one of his hands so that it was over our baby.
"So are you going to go quietly?" Potter was sitting with a pile of forms, with my name on them. I took one last look at Ben and turned to face the C.O.
"I'm not going anywhere." I spun around and walked out.
I had ended up back at the "Swamp", BJ was out, so I kicked off my boots and curled up on my cot. The morning sickness got me up at 0300 (I am usually up at 0500) and at the moment all I wanted to do was sleep.
"Honey, are you awake?" Ben had returned. I wasn't in the mood to talk. I only looked at him.
"Is there anyway I can talk you out of staying?" One of Benjamin's great qualities is that he wouldn't make decisions of his partner.
"I'm staying at least until the baby is born."
"Potter will let you stay till we can get married." Ah, so that's what took him so long to follow me.
"Eight more months?"
"Four." I hated to be weak but I cried again.
"Why is this making you so upset?" Ben moved so he was sitting in front of me, looking into my face.
"I don't want to leave you. I don't want to go home or to Crabapple Cove. I only want to stay here with you." I am regressing to a small, clingy child. He sat next to me and I fell against him.
Somewhere in the region of ten minuets later, BJ returned to fine me, still in tears, wrapped in Ben's arms.
"What's wrong? Trouble in paradise?" BJ had a great way of destroying the moment.
"Jennifer is pregnant." Ben held onto me just that little bit tighter.
"So that's what has you so upset, this morning. You should be over the moon."
"She's going to have to go home."
"I imagine so. How long has she got?"
"I bargained with Potter, to buy her another four months."
"Traveling at five months pregnant?"
"It'll be O.K. How do you know it's five months?"
"I live here." BJ rolled his eyes, " The only time you have spent together was the R&R." BJ wandered off to tell the rest of camp.
"I'll go." I felt that it was time to speak.
"Go where?" Ben mumbled into my hair.
"Home. Four more months. Then I'll go home." I spoke to his chest.
"Which home?"
"Your home."
"Thank you."
"Why?"
"Because I wouldn't want to move. Because I have a hundred other selfish reasons. Because I love you."
Life went on. Wounded came, we fixed them, they left. Preparations for the wedding started to accelerate. Klinger made the dress, Margaret and BJ were to be maid of honor and best man, and Potter (after I apologised) agreed to give me away.
Father Mulcahy performed a simple service, which was attended by everyone at camp. Radar played piano, Margaret's Donald turned up to thank BJ and Ben for the body cast they gave him, but Klinger's dress was the showstopper.
It hid the four-month bump, the skirt flowed to the floor and the bodice was the most intricate piece of beadwork ever created. Two months of work went into that dress and I am forever in his debt. Benjamin bought these matching rings which had little doves inscribed on them.
I managed not to cry until Padre said, "You may now kiss the bride." Ben did the hand over the bump thing again and reminded me exactly why I was doing this.
We didn't get a honeymoon, wounded poured in and all of us spent most of our time the O.R. During one of the longest shifts I've ever worked, this dull ache spread across my body from my stomach. I started dropping instruments, short blackouts and shaking. I felt my legs give way. I looked down as I fell, I saw blood, not the blood of any patient, but my own.
