Greetings, loyal ROATT readers! I don't know why I decided to write another chapter so soon....Maybe it's because I actually have free time, and I'm still trying to decide how to put together the next chapter of TCMUWOSCAFC. Anyway, this is the second part of Schwarz's vacation. Silly Crawlie and your inability to follow maps. Enjoy!

Disclaimers: I own Ivy. Fae-chan owns Nora. Nothing else is mine. Short and sweet. ^-^

blah=thought/another language

//blah\\=telepathy

*~*~*~* blah *~*~*~*=Nagi's journal

I glared down at the floor of the car. I was finding it harder and harder to glare. I'd be able to glare just fine if my eye wasn't twitching. Then again, my eye wouldn't be twitching in the first place if BRAD COULD READ A FUCKING MAP!

The all-powerful assassins known as Schwarz were lost.

And out of gas.

Hooray for our fearless leader.

The said leader was flipping the map over and squinting at it.

"Look, Crawford, just give up," Ivy said, exasperated. She was sprawled out over the hood of Nora's Porsche.

"I've got it!" Crawford yelled triumphantly. Nora and Farf jumped up from their position in the middle of the deserted road.

"About time," Schuldig muttered.

"You can say that again," I muttered back.

//Did I miss something?\\ Youji's somewhat confused voice echoed.

//Crawford finally figured out where we were\\ I explained.

About three hours ago when we'd first realized that we were lost, Schuldig had started up a mental chat session with his boyfriend. Nora and Farfarello had started carving things into the trees along the side of the road, and Ivy had fallen asleep, so I'd been unwillingly dragged into the conversation. How? Kudou mentally poked me until I talked. Yes, you can mentally poke someone. It feels vaguely like someone jabbing you in the back of the head with a toaster. And I know exactly how that feels, considering Farf has done it to me quite a few times. After a half an hour or so, I realized that I rather liked the moron. He was a lot like Schuldig, only slightly more hyper. And he got drunk more often.

Schuldig and I hopped out of the Porsche and gathered around Crawford with the rest of Schwarz, Youji still chattering away in my head. The dark-haired American grinned before stabbing at the map with his finger.

"We're currently in Mobile, Alabama."

I stared blankly for a few seconds before Ivy blurted out exactly what I was thinking.

"Where the FUCK is Mobile?!"

"It's in Alabama."

"No shit, Sherlock!" Schuldig yelped. "How long will it take to get back to Orlando?!" Crawford's grin faded.

"Erm....A very long time."

"Like how long?" I said, attempting to retain my calm exterior. Exploding is bad. Exploding is very bad. Killing Crawford is very bad. Esset would not be happy.

//Calm down, Nagi\\

//Shut up, Kudou\\

//Don't tell him to shut up!\\

//Shut up, Schu\\

"Probably....three days."

I stared blankly.

It's okay.....I can deal with that...Maybe...

"And we're still out of gas so...Probably about five or six days would be more accurate."

The little alarm clock inside my head started to ring...then it exploded.

Suddenly, I realized that the bland road would look a lot better with just a splash of color...Maybe red. Blood red. More specifically, the shade of red that you'd get if you were to slam Crawford's head into it.

A freakish smile that would make Farfie proud crept slowly across my face as I advanced on Crawford.

"Nagi....Nagi, what are you doing?" he asked nervously.

Blood on the ground....Cooool....

My somewhat sadistic and surprisingly Farfie-ish thoughts were interrupted when Schuldig grabbed me and pinned my arms behind my back.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, BRAD! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL NOT BE STUCK IN THIS SHIT HOLE FOR SIX DAYS JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T READ A FUCKING MAP!"

"Madre de Dios, he's going crazy! Knock it off, Nagi!"

"Nagi, as your leader I hereby order you-"

"Heheheh....Insanity hurts God."

"Shut up, Farf."

I was dead-set on killing Bradley Crawford.

Nora put that notion out of my head by darting towards me and slapping me across the face.

I snapped out of my pleasant little period of temporary insanity.

She stared at her own hand for a second before giggling nervously and jamming the offending hand in her pocket.

"Er...Sorry, Nagi."

"Oh, fuck," Schuldig whispered suddenly.

"What?" I questioned. "I'm back to normal."

"No, chibi....Your face."

What the hell was that moronic German talking about?

I gingerly touched my hand to my cheek and felt blood.

"She took half of the skin off of your face....By just slapping you..."

Nora was a scary girl. A very, very scary girl.

Esset knew what they were doing when they created her.

*****

"Nagi, is there anything else you need?" Nora hovered at my side biting her fingernails. "I can go get you something. I'm so-"

"If you say you're sorry one more time, I'll hit Schuldig."

"Why me?!" Schuldig demanded.

"Because you're closer, and I'd feel bad about hitting her." Schuldig settled grumpily back into his seat and pulled his sunglasses over his eyes. Nora blinked a few times, smiled, and returned to patching Farfarello's newest self-inflicted wound.

//Are you guys finished yet?\\ Youji's annoyed voice floated inside my head. //It's dead over at the shop. I've got nothing to do\\ Schuldig settled back with a smile.

//We're done, Yo-tan. Nora just took half of the skin off of Nagi's face\\

I could feel his mental shudder. I poked gently at my now expertly-bandaged cheek, compliments of Nora.

//I knew there was something strange about that girl. She's the one with the braid, right?\\

//Yes\\ I added. //The one without the massive-ass crush on you\\

Silence.

"Nice going, chibi," Schuldig muttered bitterly. "I was going to refrain from telling him that."

"Oops..."

//So wait....The girl with the blond hair...And the huge coat with all the crap in it....She has a crush on me? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!\\

//I'm sorry\\

//Oh, no, don't you "sorry" me, Schuldig! You're sleeping on the couch for the next month!\\

//That'd be fine if we lived in the same house\\

"Is he really mad?" Schuldig smirked at me.

"Irritated, yes. Mad, no. He's just joking."

//Schu-chan, you're punished\\ I saw the evil grin spread across Schuldig's lips.

//Are you going to spank me?\\

.....Did I just hear him correctly?

A mental snicker from Youji.

//If you want...Then, we can-\\

//I'M STILL HERE!\\ I shrieked mentally. The red-haired German in the passenger's seat started to giggle wildly.

The two of them get some kind of sick enjoyment by playing "Let's Make Nagi Vomit and/or Get a Nosebleed." I can see them writing a book on it: Torturing Telekinetics for Fun and Profit- Mostly for Fun.

//Hmmmm....Not a bad idea, chibi. Yo-tan, make a mental note of that title\\

//It's been noted\\

//....I hate you both so much\\

//I'll be damned!\\ Youji cried. //It looks like we actually have customers! I've got to go, guys. Aya's giving me his death glare\\

"Aya?"

"Abyssinian," Schuldig muttered in my general direction.

//Goodbye, kätzchen\\

//Stop calling me that!\\ With that, Youji's voice disappeared from my head.

I've noticed something about Youji Kudou in the short amount of time I've actually known him. He never seems to actually get mad. He pretends to be angry or hurt, but he never really seems to be. Or maybe he really does get angry and hurt, and he's trying to cover it up. Heh. He's just like the rest of us. We all hide behind our respective masks. Maybe that's why Schuldig likes him so much: he's found someone else with the big, fake, shiteating Jack-O-Lantern grin.

Schuldig settled back in his seat and pulled his sunglasses over his eyes, a satisfied smile on his face.

I don't know what possessed me to ask it, but I did.

"Do you love him?"

The German immediately stiffened, then quickly sat up and looked at me with an odd expression on his face. It was kind of funny, really, with his sunglasses sort of hanging off of his nose.

"Why'd you ask?" I shrugged.

"Just wondering." Schuldig looked at the ground for a second before reverting his gaze back to me.

"I haven't actually thought about it. But I..." He stopped in mid-sentence. All of a sudden, it seemed like his eyes were cutting right through me- like he wasn't really looking at me, but through me. "I think....I think I might." I raised an eyebrow. I hadn't expected an actual answer. Maybe a "shut up, chibi" or "what do you care?" I grinned.

"Well, well, well. The unconquerable playboy has been conquered. Schu's in looo~oooove!" He'd probably kick my ass later for teasing him. Oh, well. I was having a blast watching Schuldig turn redder than his hair. Heheheh...

"I mean...He's my best friend. Whatever kind of shitty mood I'm in, he always makes me smile." I think this is where Schu kind of forgot I was there and started talking to himself. "I'm always thinking about him. He's funny and really seems to give a damn about me....not to mention that he's fucking gorgeous." Schuldig snapped out of his little dream world, repositioned his sunglasses on top of his head, and looked back at me. "I do. I love him."

"Who?" We whirled around as Crawford leaned against Nora's Porsche, a suspicious look on his face. Schuldig immediately snapped out of lovey-dovey mode and plastered a smirk on his face.

"Your ass, Brad." Crawford fumed.

"Do NOT call me Brad!"

"Braddykins?"

"No!"

"Braddy-Boy?"

"NO!"

"Braddy-Bear?"

"NO!" Crawford threw his hands in the air and stormed off. I mentally applauded Schuldig.

"You really know how to make him forget the subject." Schuldig smiled bitterly.

"I didn't fuck the guy for two years without learning stuff about him." Something dawned on me.

"You told me that you used to be in love with him." Schuldig snorted.

"I thought I was in love with him. Until now. That was more like hero worship. This is love." He smiled at me. A genuine smile. "And I never would have figured it out of it wasn't for you, chibi." He ruffled my hair. "I'm going to take a nap. Danke, Nagi." He smiled again, then settled back in his seat.

With a small smile, I reached into the trunk and pulled out my journal.

*~*~*~*

Journal of Nagi Naoe

8/24

Schuldig has finally realized that he's in love with Youji. I think it's great that he's finally decided to pick one person and settle down. Even if his precious "Yo-tan" is in Weiß. Then again, I can't really talk, what with my whole Omi predicament.

I don't think that this Schwarz vs. Weiß thing is going to keep up for much longer. We're all getting a bit sick of it. Schuldig hates having to fight Youji. I can't blame him. I'm not too excited about trying to kill Omi either. Ivy's hated it from the beginning. Nora....I don't know about her. It's hard to read her. Same with Crawford. Farf will never get sick of it. Then again, he's crazy.

All I want is to be a semi-normal teenager. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again: I'll never be normal. I don't care. I just want to stop fighting Weiß. Why can't we work together? I mean, we've all got the same job: we're assassins. We kill people for money. What gives them the right to name themselves the "good guys" and us the "bad guys?" We're all doing the same thing. We're all the "bad guys." What's that cheesy line from that anime? "There is no black and white, only shades of grey."

I'm sick of being the Prodigy. I want to be Nagi Naoe again.

....Wow, where did that come from?

*~*~*~*

I shoved my journal back in the trunk, a bit surprised at myself.

Quite suddenly, the trees around the deserted road began to sway and bend.

"What the hell?!" Ivy yelled. She jumped out of the tree she was sitting in and stared, puzzled, and the huge dark shape that was descending form the sky.

Nora smiled cheerfully as we all stared at the sky.

"I figured that we might be stuck here for awhile. So, I called Esset and asked them to send us some help."

We stared at her.

"Esset dropped everything they were doing to send us a helicopter?" Crawford asked. Nora nodded.

"They're afraid that if they don't keep me happy, I'll storm Switzerland and decapitate them all or something." She smiled happily as the helicopter landed. "Come on, Farf, we're going to ride in the helicopter." The psychotic Irishman quickly carved another burning cross into the tree before hopping up and trotting obediently to Nora's side. I poked Schuldig.

"Wake up, Schu. Nora's gotten us a helicopter."

"...coming...."

I hopped out of the car and fell into step beside Ivy. After a few seconds, I stopped, raced back to the car, and snatched my journal out of the trunk.

It wouldn't do for me to lose that, would it?

Clutching my journal tightly, I ran towards the helicopter. It was time to go home.

OWARI

For some reason, I'm not really happy with this chapter. Oh, well. The next part's going to be quite good. There's some SchuSchu and Yo-tan as well as a nice helping of NagixOmi-ness! Enjoy, and thanks for reading! *snaps fingers*

Neko-Youji and Neko-Schuldig: *walk out reluctantly* *grumble* *poke at their cat ears*

Now say it.

Neko-Youji: Do we have to?

...Yes.

Neko-Schuldig: *deadpan* Meow. Please review. Meow.

Neko-Youji: *deadpan* It will displease us if you don't. Meow, meow.

.....Oooookay, could have used a bit more feeling, but at least you did it! *tosses them pocky*

Neko-Youji and Neko-Schuldig: WOOOO! POCKY, POCKY, POCKY!

Soooo, please review! You don't want to upset the Neko-Bishies, do you? Heeeee.... ^-^