**** This contains Final Fantasy Tactics Spoilers! I know Delita and Ramza and really out of character (ooc) but this is all just in good fun. I love FF7, 8, 9, and Tactics! Don't think I hate any particular game here. So this is all in good fun and nothing is to be taken offensively ^_~ ****
((Camera hisses on to reveal Sephiroth staring into the lens, looking confused. He is alone in the room.))
Sephiroth: (to himself) Is it on? …Ok, I think it's on… (to camera) Ahem, yes, welcome to another edition of FF7 greatness-proving. I know you all secretly love the game cause I'm in it. (chuckles) Yes, yes, I know, I'm brilliant…
((Cloud walks in and noticed the camera is already on))
Cloud: Sephiroth! You're not supposed to start until everyone got here! Or at least until I got here!
Sephiroth: Who else is coming today?
Cloud: Jenova said she'd show up.
Sephiroth: Yay! Mother! Who else?
Cloud: Squall and Zidane, obviously. Cid, Cid, and Cid decided to join us, maybe Irvine, and-
((Cloud is interrupted by the door bursting open. All three Cids accompanied by Squall and Zidane, who are desperately trying to calm them down, enter))
Cid Highwind: Shut up you #%@*$!
Regent Cid: Ribbit! I don't have to listen to you!
Headmaster Cid: (irritated) Can we go a day without you starting an argument with us, Mr. Highwind?
Cid Highwind: No! I'm sick of everyone being named Cid when everyone knows I'm the best Cid and therefore the only one deserving of the name!
((Regent Cid and Headmaster Cid scowl in disagreement and continue arguing))
Squall: This is pointless…
Cloud: This is confusing…
Sephiroth: This is stupid. Where's my apple?
Squall: (sighs) What's on the list to talk about today?
Cloud: (pulls out list) Hmm….let's see…. Weapons…..Music….Summons we already did, right?
Zidane: Get to the point. You're just gonna side with FF7 anyway…
Cloud: (laughs) Well, that's because… (stares directly into camera, smiling) FF7 IS the best!!
Squall: Whatever.
Zidane: (rolls his eyes) Let's start with weapons. (unsheathes his daggers, twirling them around).
Cloud: Everyone likes my sword! It's twice the size of me! (proudly unsheathes Ultima Weapon)
Sephiroth: No, no, we're not supposed to just compare weapons… weapon systems is what we're supposed to be talking about, right Zack?
Cloud: (nods) Right.
Sephiroth: (laughing) Ok… let's start with FF8.
((Irvine practically falls through the door))
Irvine: Whoa! Hello. Am I in the right place? I wanna bad-mouth FF7!
Cloud: (glaring) You're in the wrong place, buddy.
Headmaster Cid: Irvine! Welcome! Please tell these crazy men that I am the true Cid!
Irvine: (ignores Cid) I know you're kidding, Cloud. Lighten up, buddy! (Irvine smacks him on his shoulder)
Cloud: Don't touch me…
Sephiroth: (impatiently) Ok.. let's move onto weaponry system.
Squall: I didn't like FF8's… Well, you had to collect all those different things in order to get new and better weapons and limit breaks for me. And sometimes you had to use one of your Triple Triad cards just to get an item you need for a weapon.
Zidane: Don't even get me started on the card game! (angry) There's a card game in FF9 too!
Cloud: Card game?
Irvine: I had to use a whole bunch of my cards to get some pulse ammo so I could use my limit break. And I kept thinking, 'what's the point of this card game? I just keep losing cards to get items from them!'
Squall: I liked the card game actually. It was something fun to do to sort of escape from the main storyline. If the game itself ever gets boring, just play cards for a while and then when that gets boring go back to the gameplay. AND I finally showed that stupid Queen of Cards who is the master cardplayer- me! I won ALL her cards from her! Ha!
Irvine: …I don't understand one thing…How could each of us have our portrait on a card… and there's only one of each of our portrait cards. But why would we be on cards to begin with?
Cloud: Hmm… sounds like it doesn't make sense… Sounds like another reason that 7 is better than 8!
Sephiroth: I have no idea what you guys are talking about, so can we just move on?
Headmaster Cid: (to Sephiroth) Stop being so impatient! Let them talk about cards! Just cause cards aren't in your game doesn't mean we can't talk about them!
Cid Highwind: (to Headmaster Cid) Hey! Don't tell him what to do! You don't even know him!
Regent Cid: Will you both just shut up! I want to listen to this discussion!
((The three continue fighting, most of the arguments started by Cid Highwind))
Zidane: (hesitant) The weapon system of 9 was alright. You could make new weapons from combing old weapons/armor, which was pretty cool. But the only thing I didn't like was that magick/abilities could only be learned if the weapon/armor it belonged to was equipped on you. I mean, I want to just be able to equip weapons right when I get them and not have to wait for the one I currently have equipped to finish having me learn it's abilities/magick-
((Cid, Cid, and Cid are still fighting in the background, yelling at eachother when the hideous headless Jenova walks in, interrupting Zidane))
Jenova: Sephiroth, am I late?
Sephiroth: (smiling) Mother!
Jenova: (hands him an apple) You forgot your lunch again! Just thought I'd stop by to drop it off!
Sephiroth: (darkly) Thanks… (under his breath) now I can hit Cloud on the head with this, finally killing him…hehhehheh….
Jenova: Sephiroth! Don't you dare be plotting to hurt that Cloud-boy!
Cloud: I'm not a boy! I'm 21, remember?!
Sephiroth: Well, who's to say that your memory is correct. Maybe Zack is 21.
Cloud: That's right, I AM 21. At least Sephiroth recognizes the fact that I am 21!
Sephiroth: No, no… I'm serious. Maybe you just remember Zack being 21.
Cloud: You're right! I DID invite you to my party last year!
Sephiroth: (confused) Um… (looks around to see if anyone else thinks Cloud's words are strange… but nobody else is looking.)…. ok… (takes a bite out of apple, chewing slowly)
Irvine: Well, so what's so great about FF7's weapon system anyway?
Squall: Don't get started on materia in your weapon again… the materia discussion was closed last time!
Cloud: Ok! Ok! Relax! I was just gonna say that I like FF7's weapon system because it's easy to just buy or find a weapon than to make a weapon. And some weapons had materia doubling slots and linked slots!
Squall: I told you we're not gonna start talking about materia here!
Cloud: Well, anyway… The weapons in 7 are cool too. I've got my Buster Sword, Sephiroth's got his Masamune….
((Sephiroth nods, showing off his Masamune, sparkling under the light.))
Cloud: …Yuffie's got her shuriken, Vincent's got his gun, Tifa's got her fists, Cid's got his spear…
((Cid Highwind twirls his spear around and stabs the air a few times))
Cloud: … Aeris had her rod, Cait Sith has his megaphone, RedXIII has a headdress, Barret has his gun-arm, and not to mention all the Turks and their weapons- like Reno!
Squall: Whatever. Rinoa's weapon was cool. I have a gunblade, which is real unique. Quistis has her whip, Irvine has his gun…
((Irvine spins his gun around pretends to shoot down something in the sky))
Squall: …Zell has his fists-
Cloud: (interrupting Squall) Wait a second! Didn't Zell have a lot of the same limit breaks as Tifa did? He stole them from her!
Irvine: Um. They were different…
Sephiroth: I think Zell and Tifa studied the same basic martial arts with only a few changes in the way they performed the art. Am I right, Zack?
Cloud: Yeah, that seems to be reasonable…for now…
Zidane: My weapons are similar to those in FFTactics because certain classes use specific weapons. Like Garnet can only use staffs and rackets, Freya can only use a lance, and Vivi can only use rods, to name a few.
Cloud: Final Fantasy Tactics…now that's a good game.
Sephiroth: (munching on apple) indeed.
Cloud: I wonder how Delita and Ramza are doing right now…
((Scene suddenly flickers to a room in the castle. Delita is looking out of his window, dagger in hand.))
Delita: Why! Why did I murder you, Ovelia!! You loved me…and I took advantage of you! The war is over, but I fear that I am not fit to be a king, having used so many people and killed so many just to get to this position in life… (he stabs himself in the chest and falls to the floor)
((Scene flickers to an old bar, deserted except for one cloaked customer and the bartender))
Ramza: (drinking) Forgotten…after the Lion War. I had to be forgotten! Me and Alma are 'dead' now and we can't just…go back to the land of the living! I hate living in secrecy now. Delita doesn't deserve to be king. I defeated St. Ajora, the Bloody Angel! I deserve to be king! I was once happy with this quiet life, everyone thinking I was dead, but now….now I'm just so miserable… (takes another gulp of his drink)
((Scene switches back to camera view of original room where Cid, Cid, Cid, Squall, Irvine, Jenova, Cloud, Sephiroth, and Zidane are. Cids are all still fighting…and the others seem to be conversing nicely))
Jenova: So did FF7 win the best weaponry system award too?
Sephiroth: Hmm… yes.
Squall: Bah! I give up! All you guys do is think FF7 is the best!
Cloud: (blankly) Because it is the best.
Zidane: (carving little dead Cloud-bodies into the table with his daggers) Let's move onto music, shall we…
Cloud: Now, music actually all depends on the player's specific taste and opinion…. (thinks) Actually… everything that we talk about depends on the player's specific taste and opinion! But music particularly is all about opinion.
Squall: Opening FMV music in FF8 was spectacular.
Sephiroth: (beginning to finish apple) Agreed. That was great music right there.
Irvine: Some music in FF8 really sucked and others I thought were really cool. Like the Succession of Witches, and the music at Edea's house. That was cool. But the Balamb garden music…. (shakes his head)
Squall: I didn't mind Balamb's music. It was the Ragnorak's music that got to me. But I really liked Ellone's theme…so sad and pretty.
Zidane: FF9 had some good music too, like the opening theme! …But I thought FF8's music was a lot better.
Cloud: Let's not forget FF7's music. Aeris's theme, that was a tearjerker… When she dies and you hear that music playing as the white materia falls…sniff… (wipes tears away)
Sephiroth: Of course, my theme music kicks ass.
Cid Highwind: Everyone loved my music! My music rocked! And the Highwind music was so damn good!
((Suddenly, a plume of smoke erupts from the center of the room and the Sorceress Ultimecia stands on the table, her ebony wings spread out around her decorated form. All three Cids stop fighting for a moment to stare in shock))
Ultimecia: SeeDs! Kursed SeeDs!
Squall: (surprised) Oh gods! I thought we killed you! (gets out Griever gunblade)
Irvine: (shocked) What the hell?
Headmaster Cid: Good heavens!
Sephiroth: (not impressed) Who the hell are you?
Ultimecia: I am the worst enemy in Final Fantasy Eight! I am the beautiful time-konsuming Sorceress Ultimecia- the most powerful, most feared sorceress in this era! And who do you think you are?
Sephiroth: (insulted) Who do you think I am? I'm Sephiroth! Everyone knows who I am! What makes you so powerful?
Ultimecia: I'm a Sorceress, you krazy fool! I kan krush you in an instant!
Jenova: Hey! Nobody talks to my son that way! I have more power than you can ever imagine, sister!
Cloud: (looks around in horror) Oh no… this is ruining everything!
Cid Highwind: (waving spear) Yeah! Get out of here, Ultimecia! We've got to finish our discussions! Get lost, you pathetic quickly-put-together villain that nobody cares about!
Ultimecia: (enraged) How dare you! All of you will pay! The time for kompression will soon begin again… and this time ALL of you will suffer!!
((Ultimecia disappears in a haze of black, red and purple smoke.))
Sephiroth: She thinks she's so tough… (finishes eating apple completely and throws core right at Cloud)
Cloud: OW!! Sephiroth! (throws core back at him)
Jenova: Sephiroth! Cloud! I'm ashamed at both of you acting like such babies- throwing things…
Zidane: (confused) Ok…what just happened with that Sorceress and that smoke and stuff…
Cloud: (reassuring) Don't worry Zidane… I didn't understand her either. Apparently, she's from FF8…. Lousy Sorceress…(shakes fist into air) Damn you Ultimecia!! Damn you!!
Squall: I'll get her when she comes back….(glares at camera)
Cloud: Well, what do you think wins for music?
Squall: FF8 for the opening FMV.
Cloud: Nah, FF7 has much better music. Who can forget the ShinRa song!
Sephiroth: ShinRa had it's own song?
Cloud: Yeah! They played it at Junon when President Rufus showed up!
Sephiroth: (silent) ….
Jenova: FF7 for the music definitely. I loved Vincent's theme!
Cloud: Then it's agreed that once more FF7 is the best! Wow! I can't believe that three times in a row we've proven this!
Squall: Stop being sarcastic, Strife.
Cloud: Hey, Leonheart, why don't you just shut up!
Zidane: Arg!! I'm leaving! This group will NEVER prove anything else except how great 7 is compared to 8 and 9!
((Zidane stamps out of the room, furious))
Cid Highwind: I'm sick of hearing you imposters talk about how you're the real Cid!! Clearly, I am the real Cid!!
Headmaster Cid: I'm tired of you arguing with everyone! You wanna take this outside!?
Regent Cid: I'm never coming back to one of these STUPID discussions!! Ribbit!
((Cid, Cid and Cid follow Zidane. Highwind and the Headmaster preparing to fight))
Cloud: (notices sudden silence once the Cids left) Well, it's just Sephiroth, Squall, Jenova, Irvine, and me now…
Irvine: Yeah, well enjoy it being only Sephiroth, Jenova, Squall and you. This discussion was unfair since you guys only sided with 7!
((Irvine leaves, much in the manner that Zidane left))
Sephiroth: I don't think he can deal with FF7 being better than FF8…
Cloud: (turns to camera) Well, yet again, folks, we've started some fights, raised some questions, and put an end to all those misbeliefs that 7 might not be the best. We've found out for the third time in a row that 7 is indeed the best and will remain so…
((Jenova hands Sephiroth another apple to eat and he throws it at Cloud, hitting him right in the back of the head. Jenova scolds Sephiroth, while Cloud fiercely throws the apple right back at Sephiroth, hitting Squall by mistake. Squall glares and rolls up his sleeves, advancing towards Cloud. Sephiroth trips Squall, who falls flat on his face and starts yelling at Sephiroth. Cloud is standing between the two, trying to prevent a fight.))
((Jenova's strange and disgusting headless body gets close to the camera as she reaches over to turn it off.))
Jenova: You guys left the camera still running!
((The screen hisses and goes black))
**** I hope you guys enjoyed it!! Sorry for the long delay in posting this chapter up. If I think up more ideas, there will be another chapter!! ****
