Disclaimer: I don't own the heralds or anything they all belong to Mercedes Lackey .. This is my first attempt at a story so please bear with me.

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With my gift I have saved the lives of many men, women and children, but I have also let many die. I have much grief, pain and many regrets for those I let die.

The first time I can remember having to make the hard decision of life or death. was when I was the young age of eight years old. It was the mother of a friend from the local village. She was raped and murdered by bandits. What I saw in my "daydream" as every one who knew about the visions referred them to.

I could move the mother to safety at the cost of a lie and let the bandits destroy the place. But to have her die horribly and painfully less then a year later from a terrible disease. Or I could let her die and then. my friend at the age of 13 would take up a cause and go out into the world. He could and would save many lives and become a herald himself and a legend to those who knew him. But it would only happen if his mother was raped and murdered.

I had made my first decision but it was not the last to come as I had hoped for at that young age of eight, many more came and all with the different outcomes.

The decision I regret the most and can never forgive myself for, and I see no reason for any to understand or to forgive was when I was 14. I let a whole village of people die in a horrible fire caused by raiders. Families, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins. never a moment peace. PEACE something I never deserved not even the final peace that comes with death...

I have asked myself and one must ask "Is it right for one to take the life of a person (needless of age or sex) to help benefit others? What is the value and worth of one life as to many?" After many years of pain and guilt I cannot begin to answer that nor do I have any right to answer it.

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