A/N: I do not own the song.
Chapter 1
Two lost souls woke up at two different physical places but at the same place of mind. They, who didn't have a reason to live before, were given the chance to finally see where they belong and found each other. But the still had to break away from their different world that keeps them apart. Her, a vampire slayer, whose destiny is to fight vampires and demons to free the earth. Him, a master vampire, slayer of Slayers. They met and try to kill the other but never really could. Then happened what he thought was the worst that could happen to himself, he got chipped. He couldn't feed on humans anymore and slowly but painfully for him, he fell in love with her. But she would never let herself fall for a vampire. Then higher forces decided to help them and so they both had dreams in which they lost the other. So she wakes up ready to fight to make him understand she loves him.
Buffy came down the stairs with a really unusual resolve face. Xander, there to repair the sink noticed it.
-Hey Buffster, what's up? You seem really happy. Care to share with me the reasons?
-Oh it's nothing. I just realized something.
-Really, what?
-You'll know when it'll be time, she said smiling
She drove Dawnie to school since her mom already left for work, then she got to her own classes but she wasn't really listening cause she was thinking about finding a way to tell Spike she loved him. The only thing she found was to tell him the truth.
She went to his crypt and found him there drinking and he was singing. When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find /that I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own
I want to heal
want to feel
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone] I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something i've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere/only to find that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the
Way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today
I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong
She knocked, not wanting to disturbed him and knowing that he probably wouldn't happy knowing she saw him like that.
-Who's there?
-It's me, Buffy
What are you doing here? You decided to play with my mind again? You thought that you didn't hurt me enough so now you're doing that to get my hopes up to only crash them again, he said his voice full of anger
That made Buffy cry cause she knew it could have been true and she needed to find a way to tell him it wasn't. She just decided to stick with the truth.
-Look Spike, I know I hurted you really badly and you have no idea how guilty I feel about this. You gave me your heart, your whole being and I crushed it without any second thoughts. But some things change, she laughed ironically at this, seems the PTB's finally decided to put their noses in my love life. They made me dream of you. You were singing, she laughed softly at that memory, a laugh without any malice in, you sang about me. Then you said you'd leave. And my heart was filled it co much pain when I heard that. It felt like someone took out my heart and stomped on it without any mercy, like half of me was missing. It was only then I realized how much I love you. I ran to your crypt as fast as I could but you were already gone. I cried and cried and cried. Actually, I don't think I cried that much in my whole life, even when Angel left. You know, after all the guys ever loved left me, I swore to myself I would never give my heart again, but I was wrong. Without even knowing it, I gave all my heart to you. More than I ever gave to anyone, even the "love of my life" Angel, it's mostly because I know I can be totally myself without having to hide my feelings or to not use my strength fully by fear of hurting you. I love you, you've gotta believe me. I don't know if I could live knowing I hurted you so badly, you would never believe I could ever love you, not that I didn't do anything to make you think that. I can only hope you'll let yourself be as open as when you confessed our love. I love you, it's true, it's happening so believe it.
She was crying by the time she was finished. Spike's heart broke at that sight. He took her in his arms and comforted her. She stopped crying for a while as she lift up her head to look at him.
-Do you forgive me?
Her voice was filled with so much vulnerability that he nearly cried.
Of course I do luv. I love you and I can't stand to see you in pain. Yes, you did hurt me but I don't blame you, after all you were only protecting yourself. I think you hurted yourself more than you hurt me. But now the only thing I want to think about is how to keep you safe with me and to stop anyone from hurting you.
She closed the gap between their faces and kissed him. It was long and full of promises. He broke it up, looked at her in the eyes and said:
-I love you, I love you so much
-I love you too.
-Can you say that a gain please
-I love you.
They kissed again and soon they were making love. They fell asleep, exhausted, cuddled together. Buffy woke up with an enormous smile on her face. She couldn't remember being that happy in ,well ever. She was madly in love with a great man and unlike the other times she didn't have any doubts cause she knew he loved her and he would never leave her. But soon her face was clouded at the thoughts of telling her friends. They never approved of Angel and he had a soul so imagine Spike. They had to find a way. It didn't really matter cause there was no way they would break up but she didn't wanted that relationship to be hidden from her bestfriends. They just probably would never believe that Spike can love her that much even when they saw him take care of Dru.
Spike woke up and saw Buffy deep in thoughts.
-Penny for your thought? He said with a smile
-Oh I was just thinking about how we're going to tell my friends about us.
-Oh shit, he said, looking at his watch, it's 6 am. =. You have to go home before your mum or the Nibblet wakes up. Come here by sundown. We'll find a way to get through this together.
-Ok
She stood up but came back to where she was.
-Sorry, I forgot to kiss you.
She kissed him
-I love you, she said with a smile
-I love you too.
Chapter 1
Two lost souls woke up at two different physical places but at the same place of mind. They, who didn't have a reason to live before, were given the chance to finally see where they belong and found each other. But the still had to break away from their different world that keeps them apart. Her, a vampire slayer, whose destiny is to fight vampires and demons to free the earth. Him, a master vampire, slayer of Slayers. They met and try to kill the other but never really could. Then happened what he thought was the worst that could happen to himself, he got chipped. He couldn't feed on humans anymore and slowly but painfully for him, he fell in love with her. But she would never let herself fall for a vampire. Then higher forces decided to help them and so they both had dreams in which they lost the other. So she wakes up ready to fight to make him understand she loves him.
Buffy came down the stairs with a really unusual resolve face. Xander, there to repair the sink noticed it.
-Hey Buffster, what's up? You seem really happy. Care to share with me the reasons?
-Oh it's nothing. I just realized something.
-Really, what?
-You'll know when it'll be time, she said smiling
She drove Dawnie to school since her mom already left for work, then she got to her own classes but she wasn't really listening cause she was thinking about finding a way to tell Spike she loved him. The only thing she found was to tell him the truth.
She went to his crypt and found him there drinking and he was singing. When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find /that I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own
I want to heal
want to feel
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone] I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something i've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere/only to find that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the
Way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today
I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong
She knocked, not wanting to disturbed him and knowing that he probably wouldn't happy knowing she saw him like that.
-Who's there?
-It's me, Buffy
What are you doing here? You decided to play with my mind again? You thought that you didn't hurt me enough so now you're doing that to get my hopes up to only crash them again, he said his voice full of anger
That made Buffy cry cause she knew it could have been true and she needed to find a way to tell him it wasn't. She just decided to stick with the truth.
-Look Spike, I know I hurted you really badly and you have no idea how guilty I feel about this. You gave me your heart, your whole being and I crushed it without any second thoughts. But some things change, she laughed ironically at this, seems the PTB's finally decided to put their noses in my love life. They made me dream of you. You were singing, she laughed softly at that memory, a laugh without any malice in, you sang about me. Then you said you'd leave. And my heart was filled it co much pain when I heard that. It felt like someone took out my heart and stomped on it without any mercy, like half of me was missing. It was only then I realized how much I love you. I ran to your crypt as fast as I could but you were already gone. I cried and cried and cried. Actually, I don't think I cried that much in my whole life, even when Angel left. You know, after all the guys ever loved left me, I swore to myself I would never give my heart again, but I was wrong. Without even knowing it, I gave all my heart to you. More than I ever gave to anyone, even the "love of my life" Angel, it's mostly because I know I can be totally myself without having to hide my feelings or to not use my strength fully by fear of hurting you. I love you, you've gotta believe me. I don't know if I could live knowing I hurted you so badly, you would never believe I could ever love you, not that I didn't do anything to make you think that. I can only hope you'll let yourself be as open as when you confessed our love. I love you, it's true, it's happening so believe it.
She was crying by the time she was finished. Spike's heart broke at that sight. He took her in his arms and comforted her. She stopped crying for a while as she lift up her head to look at him.
-Do you forgive me?
Her voice was filled with so much vulnerability that he nearly cried.
Of course I do luv. I love you and I can't stand to see you in pain. Yes, you did hurt me but I don't blame you, after all you were only protecting yourself. I think you hurted yourself more than you hurt me. But now the only thing I want to think about is how to keep you safe with me and to stop anyone from hurting you.
She closed the gap between their faces and kissed him. It was long and full of promises. He broke it up, looked at her in the eyes and said:
-I love you, I love you so much
-I love you too.
-Can you say that a gain please
-I love you.
They kissed again and soon they were making love. They fell asleep, exhausted, cuddled together. Buffy woke up with an enormous smile on her face. She couldn't remember being that happy in ,well ever. She was madly in love with a great man and unlike the other times she didn't have any doubts cause she knew he loved her and he would never leave her. But soon her face was clouded at the thoughts of telling her friends. They never approved of Angel and he had a soul so imagine Spike. They had to find a way. It didn't really matter cause there was no way they would break up but she didn't wanted that relationship to be hidden from her bestfriends. They just probably would never believe that Spike can love her that much even when they saw him take care of Dru.
Spike woke up and saw Buffy deep in thoughts.
-Penny for your thought? He said with a smile
-Oh I was just thinking about how we're going to tell my friends about us.
-Oh shit, he said, looking at his watch, it's 6 am. =. You have to go home before your mum or the Nibblet wakes up. Come here by sundown. We'll find a way to get through this together.
-Ok
She stood up but came back to where she was.
-Sorry, I forgot to kiss you.
She kissed him
-I love you, she said with a smile
-I love you too.
