So, we're Stabbing Westward. Just kidding! Oh well I've got my mixed tape so that I don't have to sit there switching cds and decided that everyone would want a new chapter to find out what was going on now! I mean I just left off with her in Doumyouji's arms (Lucky dog) and Junpei getting his ass kicked. (Serves him right that little…) So okay, let's roll people!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hana Yori Dango.
Warning: The whole nine yards. Um, cussing I would think…beyond that I'm not too sure.
Never Quite As It Seems
Chapter Ten
"Say it ain't so,
I will not go,
Turn the lights off,
Carry me home."
-All The Small Things Blink 182 (Sorry 'Resa.)
I guessed at one point while numbly letting Doumyouji rock me in his arms, I fell asleep. I woke up, feeling a little bit better. I was still upset though. My whole mind set was pretty bad. My eyes went up towards Doumyouji's face. He seemed to have fallen asleep too. I smiled weakly at him.
"Tsukushi?" A soft female voice said questioningly. I looked up to see Makiko standing with her head in the doorway.
"Makiko?" I found it a little hard because of the way that Doumyouji's arms were wrapped around me, but I sat up as best I could.
"Tsukushi, what happened?" Makiko's eyes were full of worry. "All we saw was Doumyouji practically killing Junpei and you were…what happened?" I felt my eyes began to water and my throat grow dry again.
"Junpei…he…" I tried to get out. Doumyouji moved in his sleep, pulling me closer to him. "Doumyouji…saved me."
"Junpei raped you?" Makiko asked me in a sort of horrified tone. I shook my head. "Oh Tsukushi…"
"I-I'll be fine." I tried to make it sound brave but it came out wimpy.
"Tsukushi, look how shaken up you are! Don't try to tell me you'll be fine!" Makiko told me. "I know you, your going to try to pretend that it didn't bother you but it's okay! It's okay if it did."
"Thanks…Makiko." I had to smile a little, Makiko was right. How often had I tried to pretend things didn't affect me? With that Makiko smiled and turned away from me.
"I'm glad your okay. Tsubaki and Shigeru are making waffles. Do you want to tell the others what happened or should I?" Makiko turned her head looking at me.
"I don't really want to…Makiko, will you?" I felt like I was asking a terrible thing of my friend but I knew I would have too hard of a time telling the others.
"Of course I will. I'll leave you alone so you can get some more sleep." Makiko shut the door behind her and then once more, I was alone with Doumyouji who slept on. Not for very much longer though. Doumyouji's eyes blinked open.
He sat there staring at me for a long time. Our eyes seemed to be trying to send the other some message. I wasn't sure what my message was exactly.
"Tsukushi…" Doumyouji trailed off. "How do you feel?" I couldn't help it. All the things that I withheld inside myself, all my fear came rushing at me. I hugged him tightly, scared to let go although I could not understand why.
"I thought…no one was coming…Junpei he…" I cried into Doumyouji's shirt. He was once more rocking me, stroking my head to soothe me as if I were a small child. We stayed like that for a while, I'm not sure how much time had past or what time it was in the day. I opened my eyes, pulling a little away from him. I dried my eyes with the back of my hand. "I'm sorry." I don't know why I was apologizing, I just was.
"It's okay." Doumyouji told me. "I don't mind."
"Yeah but…you know, I hate to get your shirt all wet." I joked rather weakly. Suddenly I felt head being pressed against Doumyouji's chest. My face went a little red at that point.
AHHHHHHHHH! What the heck is Doumyouji doing?
"You aren't a bother to me at all!" Doumyouji whispered fiercely. I felt my heart start to pound. "I don't want you to ever feel that way."
"D-Doumyouji…" I stammered. Why was it that I could never think right?
"Don't…don't say anything." Doumyouji told me, still holding me against him in some sort of urgency. I let him keep his arms around me not saying anything. There was something about it that made me feel safe. It was a little odd. He finally did let go though.
"Sheesh someone would think we actually were going out." I shook my head slightly.
Could this silence be anymore awkward?
A haunting silence had set down between us. I felt kind of like I shouldn't have said anything. Doumyouji was studying my face, looking for something that only he could see. I did not turn away from his eyes but I don't know why he was looking at me like that.
"Um…" A voice interrupted our silence. I sighed a little, partly in relief. Shigeru was standing there. "Do you guys want waffles? We um, finished making them all for the others so if you do want some, we're all down in the kitchen."
"Sounds good." Doumyouji nodded at her. Shigeru smiled but to me it seemed a little forced as she turned around, closing the door behind her. "Are you hungry?"
"I guess." I'm not sure I should be eating with my stomach doing flip-flops like this but I was willing to go with it. Through my confusion I could tell that my tummy wouldn't mind some delicious golden waffles. I followed Doumyouji downstairs, he was holding my hand the whole time, and went into the kitchen. Akira and Soujirou were solemnly eating waffles still, Tsubaki and Shigeru immediately wore forced looking smiles, Sakurako looked like the world had just ended, Rui had that faraway look in his eyes, while Shizuka was gazing at me with eyes full of pity, and Makiko was picking on a waffle.
"Good morning Tsukushi, well, really it's good afternoon isn't it?" Tsubaki tried to joke. I looked at the small light up numbers on the oven. It was two in the afternoon. I realized that Tsubaki was trying to make an effort to make things seem normal for me.
"Good afternoon." I smiled a little, sitting down in a chair next to Doumyouji. "Hey, what's with all these glum faces?" I had to pretend to be normal too. It hadn't affected me that bad. Or so I was telling myself.
Silence.
"Good morning Tsukushi." Akira sounded as if he had just noticed my presence in the room even though I was sitting right across from him. "Soujirou thinks he can beat me at eating waffles." Akira's laughter was a little strained.
"I will too." Soujirou insisted in a teasing manner, sounding almost like he was acting in a play. I clenched my fists slightly. I wasn't a doll, I wasn't going to break! So why is everyone being so careful around me? I didn't want to ruin everyone's day.
"That's it! You guys, I know what happened to me was bad but you can't act like this! If there's something you people want to say than say it!" I amended folding my arms across my chest. Everyone looked rather stunned at this.
"We're really sorry it's just that nothing like this has ever happened before." Tsubaki was biting her lip. "I just wasn't sure what to do…"
"Good to see you're still yourself!" Shigeru gave me a genuine smile. "I was worried."
"I'm sorry about what happened!" Makiko chimed in. "That guy was lucky that he isn't dead right now!"
"Really lucky. Doumyouji would have killed him, but that guy isn't worth it at all! I'm glad I got to throw him out." Soujirou joined in to the, what now seemed, much less tense group.
"We'll see just what happens if he tries to come around again!" Akira remarked waving his fork threateningly. Doumyouji who was still holding my hand squeezed it in reassurance. I smiled at everyone the best I could. They were all my friends, trying to make sure that I felt better. I was grateful.
"So how about a waffle?" I asked them all. "Before Soujirou and Akira eat the rest!"
* * *
I took a deep breath as I approached my Psychology class. It had taken a lot of one car ride to convince Doumyouji that he didn't need to actually come and sit in my class, which was what he wanted to do. I told him that was ridiculous; Junpei would have to be completely stupid to pull anything in a class. I did appreciate the gesture though.
I stepped inside my eyes darting around. Yuuki and Sakurako were waving at me, an empty seat next to them. I rushed over to it like it was a sanctuary.
"Hey, how are you doing?" Sakurako had looked pretty distraught lately, as if something bad had happened to her. I had asked but she said that she was fine. If she didn't want to talk about it, I wasn't about to push it.
"Fine." I answered. "How was your weekend Yuuki? I barely saw you!"
"Oh I wasn't at the party, I felt sick to my stomach! I was puking everywhere away from everyone." Yuuki told me wryly. "I overheard Shigeru talking about Doumyouji almost killing someone? What was that about?"
"Erm…you know Doumyouji." I quickly brushed off the comment. Sakurako knew, in fact Sakurako had this slightly faraway look in her eyes. I let my eyes do a quick and slightly fearful sweep of the classroom. Junpei was nowhere in sight. I had to admit right there, I felt about three hundred times less nervous. I can't explain the fear that came with the very mention of his name. It may seem a little weak but that was just the way that things were.
My day went pretty well in my opinion. Classes were interesting, which was nice. After school I went out into to the parking lot to find Doumyouji batting away the oh so clever attempts of Asai to get Doumyouji out on a date. I rolled my eyes as he waved a little frantically towards me. It made me want to laugh but I didn't.
"Doumyouji…" Asai's voice rose in a whine. "This sort of trash should be left aside." She looked rather pointedly at me.
"Asai, if you insult her one more time where I can hear it, you can bet that I'll tell Tsubaki all about it. Tsubaki will have you out of the F6 house before you can blink!" Doumyouji threatened as I approached. I shook my head a little.
"I-I…" Asai stammered before giving me a rather nasty look, then turning on her heel, stalking off towards a group of waiting friends.
"Eitoku's chick magnet, hard at work." I joked. Doumyouji did not seem to find it very funny. He was grumbling under his breath as we got into the car.
"That's really funny." Doumyouji told me looking at me sideways. "How was your day?"
"It was fine." I answered, looking out the window at passing pedestrian. Then I saw a sight that at first made me grip the sides of my seats.
I had just seen Junpei, but when I bravely looked back I realized that Sakurako was yelling at him as our car past. I wondered what was going on right there. Of course I didn't ask. I also didn't point him out to Doumyouji who probably would have taken it as an excuse to run him down.
"Did you have any…problems?" Doumyouji put emphasis on the last word to make sure I knew what he was referring to.
"Nope." I shook my head. "No problems."
"Good." Doumyouji turned a corner. When we arrived at the house we found Akira playing video games without Soujirou. Rui was sleeping on his place on the couch.
"Where's Soujirou?" I asked Akira as he stuck out his tongue in concentration.
"Apparently he was taking Makiko out to the coffee." Akira told me with a big grin.
"Oh really?" I raised my eyebrows. "I don't know if I trust him that much…" I was smiling though so that everyone knew that I was joking. Well, I was really only half joking. With some of the comments that Soujirou had given me I felt rather justified.
"I like…eggs…" Rui mumbled as he opened his eyes. He looked at us, looked at the TV screen then fell right back onto the couch, falling asleep in a matter of seconds.
"Does he have narcolepsy?" Doumyouji asked the rest of us. Akira and me looked at each other before shrugging in unison.
"If he did, it wouldn't surprise me." Akira turned back to his video game. "You guys should take advantage of this situation." Akira winked at Doumyouji and me.
"Gee, really big advantage, instead of three of you in the house there's only two of you." I muttered sarcastically.
"Sheesh, I was just trying to be helpful." Akira was only half paying attention to us. I rolled my eyes at him.
"I've got some homework." I informed everybody before going up the stairs on the way to my room. I got to work on my homework right away. It didn't take that long and I found myself bored out of my mind my around five o'clock. I was staring at the ceiling when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in." I told whoever it was. I decided that some of the dots on the ceiling made shapes. A carrot, a cloud, a ship, I decided that I way too much time on my hands.
"Are you busy?" Doumyouji came into the room. I took my eyes away from the ceiling with a slight smile. Busy being the only person who sits around finding shapes on their ceilings.
"Nah, not really." I replied. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to know if you wanted to do something." Doumyouji looked a little weird. It was a strange face he was making, somewhere between hopeful and trying to look nonchalant. I decided I was reading too much into it.
"Erm…maybe. Like what?" I asked him. Doumyouji hesitated slightly.
"Maybe…go out and have dinner…" Doumyouji suggested trying his best to sound vague. What's up with Doumyouji? He's making it seem like he has some ulterior motive…
"Um, okay." I agreed. "So I guess we better round everybody up huh?"
"No…I meant just you and me." Doumyouji explained. I blinked a few times in confusion.
"Just you and me?" I asked in surprise. "You know the other guys are going to be pissed."
"Well, they can just deal with it. Come on, grab your coat." Doumyouji prompted me. I grabbed my coat and followed him down the stairs.
"Bye Akira and Rui!" I called out as we past the living room.
"Bye!" Akira was actually playing video games with a now awake Rui and losing, so he didn't look like the happiest person in the house. We walked out to the car. The sun was coming near to setting; you could tell that the day would soon be night.
Doumyouji actually seemed a little nervous as we pulled out. I looked at him curiously, wondering what he was thinking about.
"So what's new with you?" I asked although I was pretty sure that if anything new had happened without my knowledge, it was probably in his classes.
"Nothing really." Doumyouji spared a glance from the road to look at me. "Why?"
"Well you seem kind of like you're in another place." I commented. "Something on your mind?"
"No." Doumyouji said a little too quickly. I shook my head a little, looking away from him. So Doumyouji didn't want to talk about it. It probably wasn't even my business anyway. I still wanted to know though.
"Oh okay." I smiled at him. "You don't have to tell me, I understand."
"It's stupid anyway, just stuff like classes." Doumyouji explained to me, shrugging a little. "If it was worth telling I'd tell." It struck how close me and Doumyouji had grown. When we first met, we were at each other's throats and now we looked out for each other. It was odd how the memories of us totally hating each other seemed so long ago.
We pulled in front of a small café that was on the corner of one street. The particular street had couples and other various people window-shopping or buying things from street vendors. It gave a slightly warm feeling to the air. We walked inside and sat down at one of the tables, examining small menus.
A waiter came and we gave our orders (I got a deli sandwich), then it dawned on me that Doumyouji was being very unusually quiet.
"Hey, Doumyouji, anything you want to share?" I asked, leaning on my elbows.
"I'm sorry. I just…" Doumyouji frowned a little. "I've been really stressed out lately. Classes, people, and other things…"
"Well, maybe you should take a little vacation! On one of the weekends you should go do something by yourself. I did that sometimes during my first semester. It might help a little." I advised.
"You sound like you might be worried about me." Doumyouji's face broke out into a grin.
"There's nothing wrong with looking out for your friends." I amended, crossing my arms.
"So you are worried about me." Doumyouji's voice held a hint of questioning in it. My face scrunched up a little though I'm not sure why. It wasn't like there was anything wrong with being worried about anyone.
"And if I am?" I asked raising my eyebrows in challenge.
"I-" Doumyouji began but was cut off by the waiter putting down our food. He didn't bother to go on though, occupying himself with his food.
"What were you saying?" I inquired politely before taking a big bite of my sandwich.
"Never mind." Doumyouji told me. "It's not really important. What about you? Are classes usually stressful to you?"
"No, not really. I mean at times, I think that they are but I've gotten use to them." I explained. "Of course I don't have to run some major corporation when I get out of college."
"Don't remind me." Doumyouji groaned. "I have my parents always on me about that. My mom is constantly going on about how I need to make sure I don't 'shame the family.' You'd think it was a country I was taking over."
"Well in a way, a business is like a country. You've got rules and people that you have to make sure are provided for." I compared the two. "Their pretty similar."
"Do we have to talk about businesses?" Doumyouji gave me a pleading look. "Why don't you tell me about your family?"
"My mom and dad are really nice, a little eccentric at times but nice. And my brother is at his 'I will rebel over anything' stage." I explained. "That's pretty much it."
"They sound great." Doumyouji told me.
"Oh well, I'm glad you think so." I said dryly. "It's not like you'll ever have to deal with them or anything."
"I might have to, you never know." Doumyouji said in a slightly enigmatic way. I hate it when he says things like that! I have no clue what he means by it!
"Maybe." I agreed looking at him suspiciously. We finished off our food but we didn't go back to the car. We were walking along streets with all the other people, side by side. I stopped in front of a window. "Hey! Cute!" The store was decorated with chocolates of all varieties, but in the window was a large display of chocolate teddy bears.
"Do you want one?" Doumyouji asked me, peering into the window.
"You don't have to buy anything…" I trailed uneasily. I felt bad making others spend money. I mean I didn't really have a problem with Doumyouji buying dinner because it was his suggestion.
"I want to. Come on." Doumyouji insisted, taking my hand and leading me into the shop. I looked around the large display of chocolate teddy bears.
"I like that one!" I exclaimed as I saw one wearing a tie. Strangely the tie looked remarkably similar to one that Doumyouji owned. It was very cute though and looked yummy with white chocolate swirled for it's little shirt. Doumyouji took it off the shelf, going over to the cash register. A few moments later I was carrying around the nice paper sack with my prized chocolate teddy bear.
"I'm glad you like it." Doumyouji told me thoughtfully. I smiled gratefully at him.
"Thanks Doumyouji." I felt a slightly odd warm feeling in my chest right then, though I couldn't place it decided that it was just some weird little thing. We walked by a little street vendor who was selling flowers. I didn't even realize that Doumyouji had stopped until I felt a slight yanking on my arm. I also didn't realize that Doumyouji and me were still holding hands.
"I'll take a dozen of those roses." Doumyouji told the man behind the display of different varieties.
"What are you getting flowers for?" I asked him curiously. The man was wrapping up red roses in paper.
"What do you think I'm getting them for?" Doumyouji made it seem like it was really obvious, I still felt a slight bewilderment until he handed me the bouquet after he paid.
"You didn't have to buy me flowers!" I exclaimed, already bending my head to smell them.
"I wanted to." Doumyouji shrugged. "Does it matter?"
"I thought you said that a guy can't just give flowers to a girl! I thought it meant he like her." I had a teasing smile on my face. There is a bit of a triumph at the thought of being right over him. Doumyouji shrugged a little, not saying a word.
"Tsukushi…" Doumyouji looked a little wistful. I looked up at him. "Never mind."
"If there's something you want to say you can say it." I prompted him. I often had to do this with Rui who was hard to get one word out of sometimes.
"I've been trying!" Doumyouji exclaimed in frustration. "It's hard though…"
"What's hard?" I asked. I smelled my roses again; I liked the smell of roses a lot.
"Tsukushi, I…" Doumyouji trailed off once more. "I-"
"Hey! Isn't that Doumyouji?" A girl who was walking on the street with a group of other girls spotted the two of us.
"Yuck, he's with that one girl." Another one scrunched up their face. I rolled my eyes at them.
"I dare you to say hi!" Another girl told the first one. The first one's face went all red.
"Hi Doumyouji!" The girl waved at him. Doumyouji hunched over as if trying to hide himself behind me. Considering that he was taller than me, it was probably a failed thing from the start.
"Stupid freaking…" Doumyouji trailed off. We were heading towards his car.
"What were you going to say?" I asked curiously. Doumyouji sighed loudly.
"Oh it wasn't important." Doumyouji looked a little defeated at that moment. I wondered what was going on with him. Maybe he would tell me in a few days or something. Maybe pushing it wasn't helping.
"Okay." I smiled at him, hoping that was the right response. We got back into the car and took off towards home. I felt pretty nice right then, with the wind blowing the scent of roses towards my face, and my chocolate teddy bear tucked away. Doumyouji looked a little less preoccupied with his thoughts. We grinned at each other as though we both knew some great joke. It was one of those moments that you remember in your mind. Most of the car ride was in silence until we got to the house again. Doumyouji pulled the keys out of the ignition but then didn't make any moves towards getting out of the car.
"Tsukushi…did you have fun tonight?" Doumyouji asked me.
"Yeah! It was fun." I told him reassuringly.
"I'm glad that you did." Doumyouji started to lean towards me in the car. Or maybe that was just my imagination coming in there. "Tsukushi…" His voice sounded deeper too I decided.
"What?" I asked him, for what seemed like the thousandth time that night.
"I have something to tell you…" Doumyouji trailed off, coming seemingly closer to me. I nodded as sort of a prompting to whatever it was.
"Go ahead." I waited for his next words. Finally he's going to tell me whatever it is!
"Makiko?" I heard Soujirou's voice and turned my head to see the couple standing not to far away from us, but they obviously hadn't noticed it.
"Yes?" Makiko looked up at him, her face going slightly pink.
"Did you have a nice time?" Soujirou asked her. I thought this conversation sounded a little like the one Doumyouji and me were having but past it off as a coincident.
"I had lots of fun with you." Makiko looked away from his face, hers going even pinker.
"Makiko…I really like you." Soujirou admitted to my friend. I felt like cheering for Makiko but kept quiet.
"I-I like you too." Makiko looked back up at him. Soujirou took a step towards her, closing the gap between the two of them. He tilted Makiko's face up towards his, kissing her softly on the lips. I burst into applause.
"Way to go Makiko!" I yelled from the car. Makiko and Soujirou broke their kiss, staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Tsukushi!" Makiko's voice started up in a whine. "Thanks a lot!" She was grinning though.
"What?" I asked innocently. "I was just helping the moment."
"Yeah, right." Soujirou gave me a semi-dangerous look. Makiko stood up on her tiptoes and pecked him on the cheek.
"I should probably be going home…" Makiko told him.
"I'll walk you." Soujirou put an arm around her shoulders as they walked by us. I turned back to Doumyouji and then realized that he had been about to tell me something.
"Oh! I'm sorry Doumyouji! What were you going to say?" I asked with big apologetic eyes. Doumyouji slumped back, leaning away from me into his seat.
"Nothing important." Doumyouji sighed once more.
"Are you sure?" I asked in concern.
"Yeah." Doumyouji got out of the car, before coming around, opening the door for me, and helping me out. "We should…do something like that again."
"Sure!" I agreed. "It was nice not having everyone tagging along telling us what a lame couple we are every five seconds."
"I guess that's true." Doumyouji nodded his head. "Do you like spending time with me?" I blinked a few times because the question sounded like something that had come out of almost nowhere.
"Why wouldn't I?" I asked him. "Of course I do you dope!"
"You do?" Doumyouji's face broke out into a smile. "I like to spend time with you…" We were stopped at the door. Doumyouji was looking at me intently. I saw him leaning towards me once more, a hand starting to come up out of the corner of my eye. My breath caught as our eyes locked.
RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Something is going on here! Oh shut up mind! This is no time for me to be freaking out!
I felt his hand just starting to touch my face and then we both probably jumped five feet in the air as a bucket of cold water came splashing down on us.
"AHHHHHH! That's cold!" I yelled. I looked up at an open window above us where Akira and Rui were laughing at us. The look I gave them snapped them out of their laughter. In fact Akira looked near to wetting himself.
"I thought it was Soujirou and Makiko!" Akira defended himself immediately as Doumyouji started to shake with anger.
"I'm going to kill you two! What the hell is wrong with you?" Doumyouji shook a fist at the stunned duo.
"We couldn't see right! But you guys sounded like you were on your first date for crying outloud! With all that 'I like to spend time with you' crap! It was an honest mistake!" Akira looked desperate to avoid a severe beating.
"My roses!" I shrieked as I quickly looked down at the flowers. They didn't seem harmed at all other than being wet. "Well at least their okay…" I said only loud enough for me to here. "I'm going to help kill you two!" Doumyouji and me went bounding into the house in hot pursuit of two very unlucky individuals.
* * *
I crack myself up. Okay I have this song stuck in my head. Teresa, please explain why the Bells of Notre Dame is so freaking catchy! The fisherman fishes, the baker man bakes to the bells of Notre Dame! You know, I've never even seen that movie! Sheesh! I still love Stabbing Westward though…they are a great band…so I hope you guys liked this chapter. I did. It was fun. Not as fun as this one chapter will be…but I'm not handing out spoilers at the moment. Oh by the way Teresa, I know just how you felt all those years ago when we use to sit in your room writing. Our younger brother has decided that he also wants to write. (I'm thinking about making him write Fanfiction so I have MSTing materials on hand.) He's been working hard on a story coming in my room every five or ten minutes to ask questions like "So what do I use for people saying things again?" I ended up writing a little informative guide to help him out. His stories show that one day with enough practice he may write something good. Just like me. So I'd like to thank you for all your wonderful patience through the years. (Did I ever ask that questions ten times? Say I didn't, even if you're lying.)
Favorite Line From This Chapter: Oh shut up mind! (Teresa: What do you know self?)
