The chapter which I really should have written ages ago.

Bad Aimie!

Yes, bad Aimie!

Thank-you, don't rub it in. Sorry it's so late but the fact I started this 5 times and lost every single damn copy might have something to do with it.

Yeah right, whatever.

Well you should write it then!

I tried! But no, you said it wasn't good enough! Too classy for the likes of riff-raff like you!

Ah, shut ya face!

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We last left off with the girls thinking of a cunning plan to rescue the boys

(A/N …being John, David and James…why are we rescuing them again? Don't ask me. Harry's all I need to fulfill my…THE REST OF THIS SENTENCE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY CYBER PATROL)

and reunite the Latin class.

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"So what do we do?" Vicky glanced at Aimie, who was frowning over at the group in the clearing.

Very slowly, as though the proverbial cogs in her brain were finding it very hard to turn, her friend replied; "Weeeeeeellllll… I could use magic,

(A/N: Ye gods, no!)

but I think I might just blow up the entire forest, and the effect that would have on the planet's ecological system would be catastrophic."

"Yeah, probably would. Try it."

"Were you even listening? Do the words 'blow up the entire forest' ring a bell?"

"Yeah, I was. The view from the castle would be way better with all those depressing trees out of the way. You are talking to an artiste here, darling. Plus, think of all the disgusting life forms the place harbors! We could destroy them all!"

"Including us, you mean."

"Yes, I included you in that description. In fact;" and here Vicky's face brightened. "With all humans except Harry and I dead, (of course our superior survival skills would have saved us from your terrible and agonizing fate) it would be up to us to re-create the human race!"

There was a long pause as Vicky stared into space with an expression of twisted bliss on her face.

"Eeeeeeeexcellent…"

Vicky had not yet realized just exactly how good her Mr. Burns impression was getting. Aimie wrestled to keep her facial expression under control.

"Riiiiiight. Sooooo, back to the current situation, HOW THE HELL ARE WE GONNA RESCUE THE BOYS?????!!!!!" Aimie hollered.

(A\N: Temper, Temper Aimie :))

"SHUT UP!!! I mean, please be quiet," Vicky corrected smiling sweetly," otherwise the hard, boney, fisty thing at the end of my arm will shortly be stuffed into the huge, round, wobbly chasm that you never seem to shut!!" By this time, Vicky's smile had turned ugly.

(A/N: I must make it clear at this point that in no way was Vicky ugly, only her smile at this small point in time. Just to make that clear!)

(A\N: *Looks around at everybody* What? I'm not saying a thing!)

Aimie got the message, and shut up.

Then, the sound of rustling branches and cracking twigs reached both their ears. They looked sharply at each other, nodded, then moving in perfect harmony they slid as one into the shadows of two nearby trees and simultaneously assumed fighting poses nicked off The Matrix. *takes large breath*

(A\N: long sentence.)

Making their school's synchronised swimming team had really paid off! You'd never have known they were so agile ...

However, all this was slightly futile as the attackers were coming from the opposite direction. Eyes focused on the wrong place; Vicky felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked, and saw a mangled thing, a hand of nightmares and horror. She screamed! Nails yellowed and three inches long, with cuticles in a dreadful state

(A\N: Better not show them to Emily, Mr Zombie Man, she'd have a fit!).

And to top it off, chipped black nail varnish round the edges! Wait a second ... nail varnish? Vicky looked up and saw who the hand belonged to.

(A\N Through the hair anyway.)

It was John.

She looked around, and saw everybody else looking at her too, including David, James, John, and Aimie, who had quickly rectified her stance as soon as she realised the situation and was leaning casually against the tree, inspecting her nails.

Vicky exclaimed, "Hey! You really scared me! And cut your nails John!"

(A\N: Cut your hair too, you girl!)

John grunted. Manda translated and told them he liked his nails just as they were.

Then Aimie realised who was there. "Yeah, Hey! I thought we were gonna rescue the boys!"

"Oh, we just sneaked round (as you were taking so long) and grabbed them, then ran like hell. The veela couldn't run in their long dresses and heels, so we made a clean getaway." Said Ron.

"My HERO!!!" Cried Vicky, draping herself over Harry.

"Yeah, and HEY! How'd you find us? We were in, like, full stealth mode!" continued Aimie.

"We followed the shouts." Hermione stated simply.

Suddenly, Harry felt something vibrating against his leg. So did Vicky, and jumped back in surprise. Then comprehension dawned on her face, and she took out her mobile. "I've got a text message!"

"Well, what did you think it was, nudge nudge, wink wink?!" said Deejay smiling widely. All the girls glared at him, all the boys tried not to laugh.

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Meanwhile, a look at the normal muggles not in any actual life-threatening situations. Just yet. Five minutes earlier in a small city

(A\N: Or large town)

in Surrey, England, Emily and Harri had sent the message.

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hav gone hme. Where r u n e way? Am v.angry so iz harri. Tb, em

(-The text message, by Emily south ©2002-)

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In the forest, Vicky replied.

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sorta hard 2 explain. Tb coz no recep. here + tell mum not 2 worry + don't wait up. C u l8r, mayb. V xx

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Then, she followed the rest of the group back to the castle. She didn't worry about the numerous hideous terrifying beasts that lurked in the forest, she reasoned her Harry would save them. Aimie, who was leading, only fell into about a dozen pits, and was only snared by living plants about four times or so, otherwise the journey was pretty uneventful. Hermione saved her each time with a clever spell, though Vicky gave Harry the credit each time.

(A\N: I don't know why they bothered to save you, why didn't they just leave you there? *Suddenly falls unconscious for no apparent reason, except maybe the baseball bat hovering above her head, attached to Aimie's arm*)

Eventually they reached the edge of the forest. By this time the boys had realised they weren't in school anymore, and Hermione had explained to them, briefly (NOT!) everything they needed to know. Mainly the fact that they had been transported into the magical realm, but she managed to include a little on the socio-economic structures of magical society and the fabric of the space-time continuum of the universe, among other things. They set off to the entrance, as the moon shone down and lighted their path, and the stars twinkled and winked at them like jewels on a dark velvet cloak.

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Lovely ending there, Vicky.

Oh, you know, I was just being poetic.

As one does.

Well you don't!

But don't I…..? *Ominous music*

Anyone else confused?

A-poh-loh-ghies for the inconwenience. And GOOD NIGHT! MWAhahahahah! *Swirl cloaks and disappear*

Random Audience members: WhoooooOOOOOOOooooooooo……..