Insert Standard Disclaimers in here please





Chapter 4: Thoughts



Sorry if I took so long… well… here goes…

The following chapter is based on Rukawa-kun thoughts and a song… and just read on!!!





Betsu ni au hitsuyo nante nai (There's just no reason for the two of us to meet)

Shinakya ikenai koto takusan aru shi (I've got lot of things to be done, anyway)

Since when did I feel this way… for her… or for anyone? I told myself I'd only keep my goals in tact… to be Japan's number one…but then again… why do I feel I'm being more like that Baka no dumb asses in the team… hn. I'm more pitiful than them… disgusting… I'm disgusting… what the hell am I thinking?!

Mainichi hanasu hitsuyo nante nai (and there's no reason that we should speak everyday)

Denwa-dai kasande meiwaku shiterun da (waste away the phone bill and make trouble that way)

When did I start calling her… hn. Is it because I just need someone to talk to me? may be all I need was a friend. Or is it?! Damn it!! face it Rukwa you're falling for her!! When will I start regretting these feelings?!



Kawaranai aijo nante nai (it's not the sort of love that can't be changed for good)

Fuan ga aru kara tsuyoku naru shi (and all these changing things are making me stronger, certainly)

Ayako if you really love this girl… fight for her Rukawa!!

Well can I? I don't wanna win her… you … over like a championship game… I want you to realize that I'm… much… better…

Futari no koto dare ni mo iwanai (I wouldn't talk about our thing)

Kodomo janain da kara ('cause I'm not a little child any more)

Doko made mo tsuzuku michi ja nai (this is not a road that goes on forever, so)

Dakara hoka wo erareba ii no no (another one is probably a better choice for me…)

Ayako y'know Rukawa, if that girl you're talking about gets to know you better she'll surely fall for you!!

Kaede what do you mean?

Ayako I mean, who wouldn't fall for you? I can fall for you can't I?

Kaede ………

Ayako hey, don't think about it the other way o.k.?

Kaede you're falling for me…

Ayako Rukawa no baka… I'm just setting an example y'know!!!

But I am falling for you… she'll probably laugh if she hears this… all of them will laugh… that's not the Rukawa they know… I know… it's not me… I don't know myself anymore…

Waraeru hanashi (laughable, this story)

Kizu tsukarete mo ('cuz even when you hurt me)

I'm back for more

Kimi ni addicted ka mo (I think I'm addicted to you)

Ayako if she doesn't love you back… then at least you finally got to tell her right?



I don't know what's going on with her mind… hn. Women… sometimes she loves that baka, sometimes she doesn't. Damn it!! Why do I start getting these bullshit feelings for her? Why for her, when she already got someone who'll love her… the same way I do… damn it!! Why the heck am I thinking? About… her!!!

1 Dakedo sore ja kurushikute (but then again it's a painful, painful thing)

Mainichi aitakute (I want to meet you everyday)

Kono kimochi do sureba ii no (and is there a way to deal with all these feelings here?)

Ima otonani naritakute

Ikinari narinakute

Oh baby, oh baby

Kimi ni addicted ka mo (I think I'm addicted to you)

Why do I feel weak… damn it!! I don't have any weak spots!! But then why to I feel weak… whenever that baka keeps on bragging about their dates… but yet… he can't tell him how he feels… BAKA!! But more weaker when she rants about it… and about him!! Why do you have to trust me with your feelings!! Why do you have to be strong… caring… trusting… respectful… cheery… and loving!! Damn it Ayako why do you have to be yourself?!

Motomeau riyu nante nai (there ain't no reason for the longing of my heart)

Kirei koto mo hitsuyo sa (I need another thing that's fresher and cleaner)

Rusu den ni natteru yonaka (now it's midnight and I'm hearing your machine)

Messeji kiki ni mo ichido kaketai (just to hear your message, I call one more time)

I'm inlove withyou

I know you want me too

Ienai kara iwanain janai (and you won't say it just because you can't)



Are these feelings worth fighting for?! Are you worth it? Is she willing to let me fight for her? Or that baka?





Rukawa rested his back in the sofa, quite tired of the practice they had that Friday. He picks up the remote and turns on the t.v. – "Celebrity death match" he smiled inwardly and picks up the phone.

Kaede Komban wa, is Ayako home?

Ayako's mother Gomenasai, Rukwa-kun… Ayako's not here right now, Ryota picked her up an hour ago…

Kaede Wakaru, I'll call her up later… thank you.



Rukawa hangs up the phone… and after some time he walks out the door and made his way to the school's open court and shoot some hoops…





A/N Just in case you didn't understand this chapter, the … part are the phone dialogues in the last chapter… but not quite the same… this chapter is about Rukawa's thoughts on how to deal with his so called "Feeling" sorry if Rukawa's kind of… y'know… do tell me how disgusting or great the this chapter is ^ ^

The song was taken from utada hikaru's album distance… "Addicted to you"

Oh, and sorry if the chapters are pretty confusing… just follow the story thanks!! ^ ^